Hollywood Movie Review Series:

*Movies are in no particular order. Please use Crtl F on your keyboard to find a particular movie. Movies that got a wide release in the year after their first screening are listed in the next year. For example, 300 (2006) is listed in 2007 because it only got a wide release in 2007.

*Don't worry about spoilers. You can read the review of any movie without being afraid of spoilers and enjoy the movie if you watch it. I intentionally made sure not to ruin a movie by revealing a hidden plot or hidden climax scene. I simply pass or fail each scene and comment on them.

A Beautiful Mind, 2001: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Akiva Goldsman

Director: Ron Howard

Dialogue: Pass

"There could be a mathematical explanation for how bad your tie is." Excellent line and delivery.

Plot: A university doesn't want to give a genius a placement.

Story: Purpose, Relationships

Characters: Pass

All great characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Russell Crowe.

Excellent acting by Jennifer Connelly.

Comments:

Good character intro.

Always a pleasure to see a genius who knows that school is just a cage for his mind.

Initial equation realization moment could have been better.

Excellent downfall plot. Excellent writing. Kudos.

Excellent music content.

Excellent visiting in psyc ward scene.

Excellent realization climax scene.

Excellent student teacher question scene. Jokes.

Excellent ending.

One of the best movies of all time.

Black Hawk Down (Extended), 2001: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Ken Nolan

Director: Ridley Scott

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Somalian militia wants to kill a Black Hawk crew.

Story: Ethics, Survival

Characters: Pass

Minor army characters not interesting. No emotional investment.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good aid/capture scene.

Good interrogation scene.

Good cinematography. Good directing.

Good military scenes throughout.

Good army culture problem scenes throughout.

A lot of big names in this movie.

Good planning scenes.

First bullet goes past head and politics goes out the window. Jokes.

Good operation scenes throughout.

Good attack scenes throughout.

Good survival scenes throughout.

Decent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Training Day, 2001: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: David Ayer

Director: Antoine Fuqua

Dialogue: Pass

Excellent dialogue by Detective Sergeant Alonzo Harris character.

Plot: A dirty cop wants a better life.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Denzel Washington as usual.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good diner scene.

Good bust scene.

Good alley scene.

Good cop house scene.

Excellent music content.

Excellent cop potential rape scene.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent writing, acting and directing. This movie should have made more money.

Excellent ending.

One of the best movies of all time.

Sweet November, 2001: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Paul Yurick, Kurt Voelker

Director: Pat O'Connor

Dialogue: Pass

"Does your mom know that you treat women like hookers?" Good line and delivery.

Plot: A marketing executive wants to win a big contract.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Pass

Excellent main characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Charlize Theron.

Comments:

Should have picked a better name for main guy character other then Nelson.

That's one way for a marketing executive to psyc yourself up in the morning.

Excellent DMV scene.

Excellent writing.

Excellent cinematography on Charlize Theron. The camera loves her.

Excellent bathtub scene.

Excellent couple scenes throughout.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

One of the best movies of all time. Shouldn't have cost $40 million to make. But should have made more money. The fact that it didn't proves that God does NOT exist.

Chocolat, 2001: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Robert Nelson Jacobs

Director: Lasse Hallstrom

Dialogue: Pass

"Don't look so damn pleased with yourself." "I'd rather be in hell." "You may get there mother." Excellent line and delivery.

Plot: A mayor wants to get rid of chocolate business.

Story: Character, Relationships, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Alfred Molina.

Excellent acting by Juliette Binoche.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Excellent writing right off the bat.

Chocolate? I think that aphrodisiac would be considered a chemical form of manipulation in the eyes of the MeToo movement.

The rigid young priest singing to music while sweeping. Jokes.

Excellent shop scenes throughout.

Excellent citizen reactions throughout.

Good cinematography throughout.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

Solid movie.

The Mummy Returns, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Stephen Sommers

Director: Stephen Sommers

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A king wants to conquer the world.

Story: Ambition, Survival

Characters: Fail

Fail of idiot mercenary characters.

Fail of Imhotep character.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Dwayne Johnson’s acting.

Good acting by Oded Fehr.

Excellent acting by John Hannah.

Comments:

Fail of intro. Doesn't defeat mean death?

Good flashback scenes.

Good home invasion scene.

Good resurrection scene.

Good bus scene until the end, which was a failure.

Fail of train scene. Lazy writing.

A Black pilot. Well…I guess beggars can't be choosers.

Fail of airship scenes.

Fail of forest fight scene.

Wasted comedy for forest fight scene.

Fail of Scorpion King plot. Doesn’t work.

Fail of GCI Scorpion King scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Steven Spielberg

Director: Steven Spielberg

Dialogue: Fail

Weak dialogue.

"In this day in age David, nothing costs more than information." What?

Plot: A family wants to get rid of their AI child.

Story: Family

Characters: Fail

AI David is the exception.

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Haley Joel Osment.

Comments:

Fail of intro. Silicon Valley is salivating.

Fail of family scenes.

Ah…to be replaced.

The odd moments of the child with the music is creepy. Could have been a horror movie.

Fail of forest scene.

Good intimate scene.

Fail of murder scene.

Fail of tone of movie.

Creepy forest scene.

Fail of hunting scenes.

Fail of dystopia with AI. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of circus/execution scenes.

Fail of forest scenes.

Fail of all scenes after. Terrible writing.

Fail of all teddy bear scenes throughout. Creepy.

Fail of explanation scenes.

Fail of blue fairy scenes throughout.

Fail of future scenes.

Decent climax scene, despite being beyond suspension of disbelief.

Decent ending.

Blow, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: David McKenna, Nick Cassavetes

Director: Ted Demme

Dialogue: Fail

Flat dialogue.

Plot: A small town boy wants to a better life.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

All flat characters, except Frederick "Fred" Jung character.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of fight scenes.

Fail of beach scenes throughout.

Paul Reubens (Peewee Herman). Wow.

Fail of marijuana scenes throughout.

Boring scenes throughout.

Fail of airport scenes.

Fail of luxury scenes throughout.

Fail of court scene.

Fail of father scene.

Fail of jail scenes.

Fail of customs scene.

Fail of Columbia scenes throughout.

Decent birth scene.

Good ironic fight scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Hannibal, 2001: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: David Mamet, Steven Zaillian

Director: Ridley Scott

Dialogue: Pass

"I wasn't speaking to you Mr. Krendler. When I speak to you, you'll know it because I'll look at you." Excellent line and delivery.

Plot: Someone wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Excellent Hannibal character.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent music content.

Excellent Hannibal scenes throughout.

Italian detective greed is unbelievable.

Good investigative scenes throughout.

Good German shepherd Hannibal scene.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

Legally Blonde, 2001: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Karen McCullah Lutz, Kirsten Smith

Director: Robert Luketic

Dialogue: Pass

"And your boyfriend's name is?" "Chuck." "Right." Weak line, excellent delivery.

Plot: A girl wants to be with a guy.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Selma Blair.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of dressing room scene.

Good restaurant scene.

Good breakup scene intro.

Fail of hairdressing scene.

Fail of learning process scenes.

Good boardroom scene.

Fail of new school scene.

Excellent classroom scenes throughout.

Good UPS guy scenes throughout.

Hey, the guy from Alias, Victor Garber. Always a pleasure sir.

Decent party scene.

Good jail scenes throughout.

Fail of wingman scene.

Good court scenes throughout.

Fail of night office room scene.

Decent climax scene.

Weak ending.

Ali, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Michael Mann, Eric Roth, Stephen J. Rivele, Christopher Wilkinson

Director: Michael Mann

Dialogue: Pass

I'm sure that the line, "I am submissive to you." didn't win much praise from critics.

"You want to send me to jail? Fine you go right ahead. I've been in jail for 400 years I can be there for 4 to 5 more." Excellent line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A man wants to be a role model for Black people.

Story: Purpose

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Will Smith’s acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Excellent acting by Mario Van Peebles.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good preaching scene.

Good intro boxing shots. Good footwork shots, but would have been better in slow motion.

The rhyming is part of the real Ali, but doesn't play well in the film.

Fail of pre-fight scene.

Fail of boxing scene.

Good Malcolm X scenes throughout.

Weak Ali life scenes throughout.

Fail of interview scene.

Fail of court ruling scene.

Flat and boring scenes throughout.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

I can understand why the reception to this movie was poor. It was a depressing movie.

Bridget Jones Diary, 2001: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Richard Curtis, Andrew Davies, Helen Fielding

Director: Sharon Maguire

Dialogue: Pass

Excellent dialogue, too many lines to pick out.

"Where the f*ck is the f*cking tuna" Decent line, excellent delivery

Plot: A woman wants to fall in love.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

The two men's characters are weak, forced emotions.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Renee Zellweger. She was the perfect actress for this role.

Good acting by Hugh Grant.

Comments:

Excellent narration in intro.

Good karaoke at home scene.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

A bit too much narration, but most of it plays well in the film.

Good messaging scene.

Excellent hypothetical scenario scene.

Excellent writing.

A playboy bunny. Jokes.

They didn't need the slow motion and cheesy music in the bathroom scene.

How much was the music clearance bill for all of these songs?

Excellent table scene at 52 minutes.

Mini stuffed puppies that bobble. I didn't know that existed. You learn something new every day.

Ham fisted cow. Too cruel.

Decent climax scene.

Decent ending.

One of the best movies of all time. Excellent writing. But Renee Zellweger’s acting was the real power behind the movie.

Passed with 3 writers. Well done.

Scary Movie 2, 2001: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Thomas Craig, Greg Grabianski, Dave Polsky, Michael Anthony Snowden, Craig Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans

Director: Keenen Ivory Wayans

Dialogue: Fail

Weak dialogue.

Plot: A scientist wants to prove life after death.

Story: Survival, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters except talking bird character and Alex character.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Chris Elliott’s acting.

Fail of Tim Curry’s acting.

Comments:

Good exorcist intro.

Fail of room scene.

Fail of principal scene.

Fail of haunted house scene.

Fail of dinner scene.

Good commercial parody.

Excellent sex room scene. Very well done.

"Kick it like you own it." Jokes. Very well done.

Excellent black couple scene.

Fail of cat scene.

Good clown scene.

Fail of kitchen scene.

Fail of plant scene.

Fail of basement scene.

Fail of search scene.

Good basement sex scene.

Fail of all Cindy scenes overall.

Fail of wheelchair guy scenes throughout.

Fail of Hannibal parody.

Fail of climax scene. Powerfully stupid.

Fail of ending.

7 writers. Way too many cooks in the kitchen.

Zoolander, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Drake Sather, Ben Stiller, John Hamburg

Director: Ben Stiller

Dialogue: Fail

Garbage dialogue throughout. Exception: "You hate to see something like that at an event like this. I mean…protesters bothering beautiful people." Good line and delivery.

Plot: The fashion industry wants to assassinate the Prime Minister of Malaysia.

Story: Character, Purpose

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters. A complete failure.

Acting: Fail

Good acting by Owen Wilson.

Comments:

Another stupid comedy. Sigh.

Super corny.

Fail of intro.

Fail of practically every scene. Complete fail of writing.

What was the writer, director and studio executives trying to accomplish with this movie?

Terrible music content. How much was the music clearance bill?

Good boner spa scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Good impersonation scene near the end.

Fail of ending too stupid.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made $60 million proves that God does not exist.

David Duchovny doesn't add anything to this movie.

Not Another Teen Movie, 2001: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Mike Bender, Adam Jay Epstein, Andrew Jacobson, Phil Beauman, Buddy Johnson

Director: Joel Gallen

Dialogue: Pass

"And for once, tell Janie what's true in your heart. Stop being such a little bitch." Good line and delivery.

Plot: A group of students want a better life.

Story: Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good bedroom intro.

Excellent school intro explanation scene.

Excellent girls fawning scene.

Good slow motion girl scene.

Excellent school scenes throughout.

Excellent classroom/toilet speech scene.

Good cheerleader tryout scene.

Excellent Breakfast Club parody scene.

Weak Cruel Intention parody scenes throughout.

Token Black guy. Jokes.

Good house party scenes.

Excellent Bring It On parody scene.

Good ambulance background scene.

Decent music scene.

Good motel scene.

Decent climax scene.

Good ending.

Passed with 5 writers. Very rare.

One of the best movies of all time.

The Fast and Furious, 2001: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Gary Scott Thompson, Erik Bergquist, David Ayer

Director: Rob Cohen

Dialogue: Fail

Too corny, as if street racing is a sacred way of life. Sigh.

Plot: Thieves want to steal cargo from truck drivers.

Story: Relationships, Ethics.

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Fail of Paul Walker’s acting.

Comments:

Excellent highway intro. Wow. Excellent directing.

Good street race scene.

Decent holdup scene.

Good house party scene.

Good police scene.

Good Torino scenes throughout. Pop the hood. Jokes.

Good budding romance scenes throughout.

Good repair scenes throughout.

Excellent truck jacking scene.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

Pearl Harbor (Directors Cut), 2001: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Randall Wallace

Director: Michael Bay

Dialogue: Pass

"That's bullsh*t McColly. But that's very very good bullshit." Good line and delivery.

Plot: Japanese gov’t wants to attack Pearl Harbor.

Story: Ethics, Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good boys plane scene.

Decent office scene. Dog whining. Jokes.

Excellent bathroom scene.

Clove oil. Jokes.

Good nurse scene.

This writer knows something about comedy. Well done.

Women in the movie seem a bit easy. Then again, feminism today is about women slutting themselves out. Patriarchal conditioning at its best.

Good party scene.

Good black and white news scene.

Good Japanese scenes throughout.

Good music content.

Good use of quick various shots.

Good writing, directing, cinematography, music, acting, special effects.

Good American intelligence scenes throughout.

Good plane attack scenes throughout.

Some cheesy lines, but passable.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

A Knight's Tale, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Brian Helgeland

Director: Brian Helgeland

Dialogue: Fail

Complete failure of dialogue of main characters.

"I think he's getting worse." "He is getting worse." Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: A peasant wants a better life.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

All characters weak or unnecessary, except for main character.

Nice to see a strong blacksmith woman character.

Acting: Pass

Fail Shannyn Sossamon’s acting.

Excellent acting by Mark Addy.

Excellent acting by Rufus Sewell as usual.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of solution, doesn't make sense in the end.

Fail jousting scenes throughout.

Fail of training scenes throughout.

Fail of music content throughout.

Never been unhorsed. Jokes.

Fail of dialogue throughout.

Fail of almost all scenes. A complete train wreck. Fail of writing.

Fail of sex scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Bandits, 2001: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Harley Peyton

Director: Barry Levinson

Dialogue: Fail

Complete failure.

"You're insane." "I'm unhappy. It's not the same thing." Good line, fail of delivery.

Plot: Thieves want to rob banks.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Grainy interview film doesn't work.

Garbage scene of car after she hit Thornton.

Fail of break in scene.

Fail of truck prison scene.

The entire movie is unbelievable and powerfully stupid. Complete fail of writing.

Fail of house break in scene.

Fail of media interview scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. Thankfully it was an Epic Commercial Failure, which proves that God does exist.

Spy Kids, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Robert Rodriguez

Director: Robert Rodriguez

Dialogue: Pass

"Would you care for a lullaby sir?" Good line and delivery.

Terrible evil genius dialogue. Oh dear god.

Plot: An evil genius wants to rule the world.

Story: Family, Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Antonio Banderas’ acting.

Fail of Terri Hatcher’s acting.

Fail of Danny Trejo’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro. Everything looks too much like a set. Please shoot at 24 FPS with an adequate depth of field.

Fail of building scene.

Fail of marriage scene.

Fail of music content.

Heart shaped parachutes. Well done.

Decent car scene.

Fail of future possibility scene.

Fail of evil hideout scene.

Giant thumbs. At least it wasn't giant d*cks with Hollywood’s norm of selling sex to kids.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of underwater scene.

Good branding of evil genius.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of boat scene.

McDonalds. Excellent product placement (no sarcasm intended).

Decent safe house scene.

Clever floor scene.

Fail of dinner scene.

Fail of safe house fight scene.

Fail of air pursuit scene.

Good store clothing scene.

And she wraps her hand around a strange woman. Yah...no.

Fail of all evil genius hideout scenes. Just terrible.

Fail of park scene.

Fail of flashback scene.

Fail of airplane scene.

Sleeping sharks. Oh…they're so cute and loving.

Fail of climax scene.

Good Teri Hatcher scene in the end. Jokes.

Good ending.

Enemy at the Gates, 2001: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jean-Jacques Annaud, Alain Godard

Director: Jean-Jacques Annaud

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Nazis want to control Russia.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro hunting shot and the train.

Good train scene.

Good initial battle scenes.

Good confusion/desperation scenes.

Good tank scene and initial sniper scene. Using the explosions to mask. Well done sir.

Decent solider talk scene.

Good friends talk scene.

Good Nazi planning scenes.

Sniper vs. sniper. Good psychological scenes throughout.

Decent girl explanation scene.

Snipes the rope. Nice.

Well done with the glass.

Good party scene.

Good sex scene. Very well done.

Good propaganda scenes.

Decent death scene.

Good sacrifice scene.

Decent climax scene.

Decent ending.

Solid movie.

Not one of the best movies of all time, but I strongly recommend that you watch it.

Almost $70 million production budget. Geez.

Joe Dirt, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: David Spade, Fred Wolf

Director: Dennie Gordon

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to find his parents.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of security guard scene.

Powerfully stupid movie, even for Hollywood.

Fail of background story.

Fail of practically every scene. Complete fail of writing.

The Labrador dog is so cute and loving.

Good husband talk death scene.

Beautiful women listening to who wants to screw him. Yah...no.

Good ride operator scene with combined music. That was the correct song.

Fail of sister bit scene. Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of kidnapping scene.

Liberals would call the new hair cultural appropriation.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Should have been direct to video/streaming.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Kevin Smith

Director: Kevin Smith

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue.

Plot: A store wants to get rid of stoners.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of George Carlin character.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Ben Affleck’s acting. Wrong actor for the role.

Excellent acting by Jason Mewes.

Excellent acting by Eliza Dushka.

Comments:

Fail of intro. Too stupid, even for White trash. Could have worked with a better writer.

Terrible freestyle. Would have made sense if he was insulted.

Serpico. Nice, but most won't understand it.

A comic book store. Won’t exist soon enough, but Hollywood loves the intellectual property it brings.

Fail of Affleck scene. Please stop talking about yourself.

Fail of nun scene.

Fail of Scooby Doo scene.

Fail of hot girl intro. I doubt that would play well after MeToo movement.

Interesting activist plot.

Fail of guitar guy scene. Could have worked with a better writer.

Will Ferrell. Oh dear god. More stupid comedy stuff.

Fail of movie set scene. Again, could have worked with a better writer.

Chris Rock. Why?

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

Planet of the Apes, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: William Broyles, Jr., Lawrence Konner, Mark Rosenthal

Director: Tim Burton

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of dialogue. Oh dear god.

Plot: Apes want to enslave humanity.

Story: Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Terrible ape acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of all space scenes.

Humans aren't smart enough in 2029 to create machines and probes?

Fail of hunting scenes.

Fail of cage scenes.

Fail of all ape scenes. Beyond suspension of disbelief. Everything looks terrible.

Fail of royal ape scenes throughout. Humans as slaves. At least they’re all White. Even though it’s pretend, it’s nice to see.

The explanation of past apes and future apes moves too quickly. Fail of writing.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Fail of jungle scenes throughout. Separate but equal. Well done with the racist irony.

Terrible fight scenes throughout.

Fail of realization scene.

Fail of battle scene.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Nuff said.

Vanilla Sky, 2001: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Cameron Crowe

Director: Cameron Crowe

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Cameron Diaz.

Excellent acting by Tom Cruise as usual.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good relationship scenes throughout.

Excellent confusion scenes throughout. Excellent writing.

Good investigative scenes throughout.

Good tech support scenes throughout.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Jurassic Park III, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Peter Buchman, Alexander Payne, Jim Taylor

Director: Joe Johnston

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Parents want to rescue their son.

Story: Family

Characters: Fail

Weak characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Dinosaurs not as good as original Jurassic Park.

"Our theories on raptors weren't close due to new cranial scans of fossil skulls." Really?

Fail of grant scenes throughout. Fail of writing.

Fail of rescue scenes throughout.

Fail of raptor scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

The Princess Diaries, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Gina Wendkos

Director: Garry Marshall

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue throughout.

Plot: A royal family wants to continue their lineage.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Julie Andrews.

Excellent acting by Héctor Elizondo.

Fail of Heather Matarazzo’s acting.

Good acting by Anne Hathaway.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good climbing scene.

Good royal mansion scene.

Solution too unbelievable, but it’s a Disney movie, so…

Good nerd transformation scene.

Decent home scene.

Problem too unbelievable as well, but…man, I’m really giving this movie the benefit of the doubt.

Excellent scarf scene.

Hair like a wolf. Breaks off brush in hair. Jokes.

Experimental art from liberals. Yup, sounds about right.

Fail of limo queen scene.

Visible minorities imitating royalty. Yup, sounds about right.

Good royal dinner scene.

Terrible writing and directing.

How much was the music clearance bill for this movie? But then again, Disney probably owns the rights.

Fail of dating scene.

Fail of writing. Characters could have worked with a better writer.

Desperate Paparazzi that wants to be in closer proximity to royalty and celebrities. Yup, sounds about right.

No, she didn't lack common sense because of age. She lacked it because of garbage California liberal conditioning.

Decent baseball scene.

They should have made better use of the cat.

Fail of ice cream school scene. Oh dear god this movie is so terrible. But as a true critic, I have to watch until the godforsaken end.

A pear juggler. Oh dear god.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

No, you can't show the cat at the end doing nothing. Terrible writing.

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, 2001: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Patrick Massett, John Zinman

Director: Simon West

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue.

Plot: A secret society wants to control time.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting.

Fail of Daniel Craig’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Ah…yes, the infamous planetary alignment. Sigh. Another brazen Illuminati movie. Lovely.

Iain Glen (Jorah Mormont from Game of Thrones). Wow. Nice to see you.

Fail of all slow motion flashback scene.

Fail of realization scene.

Fail of music content throughout.

Fail of auction scene.

Oh my god, Daniel Craig (James Bond). Wow. I forgot you were in this movie.

Fail of lounge scene.

Terrible dialogue. Oh dear good.

Interesting acrobatic scene. I didn't know people do that in their home. You learn something new every day.

Fail of all fight scenes throughout.

Decent flashback scenes throughout.

Nonsense jeep drop scene, but I’ll turn a blind eye.

Weak special effects. But it's a 2001 movie.

Fail of temple scene.

Shooting a rock creature. Sure, that makes sense.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Good Buddhist scene.

Fail of shower scene.

Fail of chopper scene.

Fail of search scene.

Terrible scenery shots. Fail of art department and cinematography.

I wonder how long it took to make that sh*tty octopus set.

Fail of climax scene. Oh dear god.

Fail of all special effects.

Fail of ending.

The Royal Tenenbaums, 2001: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Wes Anderson, Owen Wilson

Director: Wes Anderson

Dialogue: Fail

Too choppy.

Plot: A father wants to have a better relationship with his children.

Story: Family

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Another stupid funny movie. Sigh.

Fail of almost all scenes.

No amount of A-listers can pass this movie.

Too much narration.

Is this supposed to be a comedy? can someday tell that to the writer and director.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

I couldn't find a single good scene in this movie.

Complete fail of writing, directing, acting.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $71 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Swordfish, 2001: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Skip Woods

Director: Dominic Sena

Dialogue: Pass

"Misdirection. What the eyes see, and the ears hear, the mind believes." Excellent line, good delivery.

Plot: A guy wants to rob a bank.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by John Travolta.

Excellent acting by Don Cheadle as usual.

Comments:

Excellent intro. Wow, very well done.

Excellent cinematography.

Excellent hostage negotiation scene. Very well done.

Slow motion shot could have been better.

Fail of customs scene.

Decent office/outside scene.

Excellent junkyard/trailer home scene.

Fail of FBI holding scene. Too unbelievable.

Excellent party/hacking scene. Very well done. I hope one day I get that experience. But my hacking skills are zero, so it'll just be in fantasyland.

Good party scene.

Good father daughter scene.

Good beach house scene.

Good house scene.

Could have used better cinematography for worm/cable shot.

Good senator scene.

Fail of hacking scene work.

Excellent car chase scene.

Good fishing/parking lot scene.

Good explanation scene.

Excellent bank scene.

Good heist scenes throughout.

Excellent slow motion shot of the girl.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

One of the best movies of all time. This movie should have made more money. The fact that it didn't proves god does NOT exist.

Monster's Ball, 2001: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Milo Addica, Will Rokos

Director: Marc Forster

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A son wants a better relationship with his father.

Story: Family, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Fail of Heath Ledger's acting.

Excellent acting by Billy Bob Thorton.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent sex scene.

Good window car talk scene.

Decent bar scene.

Sean P. Diddy Combs. Wow. I didn't expect that.

Good execution scene.

Excellent bathroom scene.

Excellent house gun scene.

Good diner scene.

Good father/grandfather scene.

Good hospital scene.

Good scenes between man and woman throughout.

Excellent grandpa woman scene.

Good eviction scene.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

Surprisingly, a good movie.

Super Troopers, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Paul Soter, Erik Stolhanske.

Director: Jay Chandrasekhar

Dialogue: Fail

"I'm already pulled over." "Pull over further man." I can't pull over…sir I'm already pulled over.” Good line and delivery.

"Oh comin' we're like the sons you never had." "If you were my son Mac, I would have smothered you by now." Good line and delivery.

Plot: Officials want to end a highway patrol division.

Story: Ethics, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good pull over teenager scene.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Another stupid funny movie. Christ.

Fail of police boss scene.

Fail of pull over scene.

Fail of all investigative scenes throughout.

Fail of music content.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of truck scene.

Fail of all sex/intimate scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

How did this F*ck ass movie get a wide release? Would have been a good cult classic/direct to video/streaming.

5 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Ocean's 11, 2001: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Ted Griffin

Director: Steven Soderbergh

Dialogue: Pass

Excellent dialogue throughout.

Plot: A thief wants to get his ex-wife back.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Excellent music content. Wow. This music composer is the person you want for your blockbuster film.

Excellent cinematography all around.

Good flashback scenes throughout.

Excellent recruiting scenes throughout.

Excellent recon scene.

Excellent auto sales scene.

Excellent hotel scenes throughout.

Excellent climax scene. Very well done.

Good ending.

Excellent writing, directing, cinematography.

One of the best movies of all time.

Dr. Dolittle 2, 2001: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Larry Levin

Director: Steve Carr

Dialogue: Pass

"Sure, I got rabies, I can bite somebody, but I can only do so much." Good line and delivery.

Plot: A lumber company wants to destroy a natural habitat.

Story: Family, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of narrated intro.

Good meeting scene.

Good turtle scene.

Fail of alligator scene.

Page her in my house? Jokes.

Good room scene.

Uncle Phil (James Avery) from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Wow. What a blast from the past. Remember, this review is being done in 2018.

Excellent phone scene. Very well done.

College. F*ck that. You need to learn to invest in real estate, stock markets, create intellectual property or create your own business. Anything else and you'll be a slave.

Good birthday cake scene.

Animal mafia. Jokes.

Decent court scene.

Good bear scenes throughout.

Grizzly bear mating scene. Jokes.

Good father/daughter scenes throughout.

Fake Black thugs in the forest. Really?

Good zoo scenes.

Decent to good bear training scenes throughout.

Fail of court scene. Doesn’t make sense.

Good prison talk scene.

Animal strike. Jokes.

Pigeon air raid. Jokes.

Excellent horse race scene. Well done.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Should have made more money. But Eddie Murphy doesn't take pay cuts, which I understand as well.

Evolution, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: David Diamond, David Weissman, Don Jakoby

Director: Ivan Reitman

Dialogue: Fail

"Nursing school? Wouldn't you be more comfortable in a different profession, one where people's lives were not dependent on you?" Good line, fail in delivery.

"I'll get the lubricant." "There's no time for lubricant." "There's always time for lubricant." Good line, and delivery.

Plot: Geologists want to figure out evolution of an alien species.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Survival

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Another stupid funny movie. Christ.

Decent lecture scene.

Fail of investigative scenes throughout.

Fail of all military scenes throughout.

Fail of court scene. Too stupid.

Cheek spreader. Jokes.

Fail of all scenes. Complete fail of writing.

Fail of government official scenes throughout.

The writers and directors tried to make this film a comedy, but failed.

Sarah Silverman. Wow. What a blast from the past.

Fail of all scenes.

Dan Aykroyd. Wow.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Rush Hour 2, 2001: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Jeff Nathanson

Director: Brett Ratner

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Terrorists want to kill US officials in China.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Good acting overall.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good karaoke scene.

Good bamboo fight scene.

Excellent spa scene.

Good Jackie Chan fighting scenes as usual.

Good ship scene.

Fail of hotel scene.

Excellent Don Cheadle scene.

Good alley scene.

Excellent limo scene.

Excellent gay White guy scene.

Good casino scenes throughout.

Good casino fight scenes. Much easier to shoot with no BG extras missing their marks.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

America's Sweethearts, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Billy Crystal, Peter Tolan

Director: Joe Roth

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A director wants to hide final cut of a movie.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Pass

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Excellent acting by Billy Crystal.

Fail of Hank Azaria’s acting.

Fail of John Cusack’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good office scene.

Good film preview scene.

Studio executives who can't control their directors. Interesting. But too unbelievable.

Good studio scene.

Good CNN scene.

Decent restaurant motorcycle flashback scene.

Fail of therapy scenes.

Excellent talk scene.

Hank Azaria is Spanish in the movie? And in The Simpsons he's East Indian…even though he's White. I have no problem with it. But the optics doesn’t play well in today’s politically correct environment.

Why Hank Azaria retired Apu on 'The Simpsons': 'It just didn't feel right'

But fail of all characters.

Baby judging you. Jokes. I was once a produce clerk at Dominion Sav-A-Centre and a baby gave me a very odd look. The mother apologized and said she's never seen that look before.

Fail of all John Cusack scenes throughout. Too stupid.

Unfortunately, Julia Roberts' acting and Billy Crystals' acting is not enough to pass the movie.

Excellent Julia Robert scenes though.

Fail of press scenes throughout.

Women throwing babies at stars. Jokes.

Fail of restaurant blowup scene.

Good kitchen talk scene.

Not technically. Jokes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Serendipity, 2001: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Marc Klein

Director: Peter Chelsom

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Two strangers want to be together.

Story: Purpose, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Excellent cashier character.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by John Cusack.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good glove shop scene.

Good date scenes throughout.

Good contrast of both lives throughout.

Hey, John Corbett from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. What a blast from the past.

Excellent shop character scenes throughout.

Good music content.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

What's the Worst that Could Happen, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Matthew Chapman

Director: Sam Weisman

Dialogue: Fail

Complete failure of all dialogue.

Plot: A guy wants to steal things.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Terrible characters. Exception is Lutetia Fairbanks character.

Acting: Pass

Fail of William Fichtner’s actor.

Excellent acting by Stephanie Clayman (translator). Very well done.

Comments:

Fail of auction intro. Terrible.

Fail of street diner scene.

Sleeps with him out of gratitude? Oh dear.

Hey, the guy from The West Wing (Richard Schiff). Always a pleasure.

Fail of diner scene.

A balding middle aged man screwing a younger girl. I don’t think the MeToo movement would appreciate that.

Fail of ring plot. Lazy writing.

Fail of police ride scene.

Fail of music content throughout.

Black people in movies with garbage writing. Almost like it's intentional.

Good restaurant scene.

Good house wife scene.

Fail of conference talk scene.

Fail of diner scene.

Fail of court scene.

Decent heist scene.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of diner scene.

Good airport scene.

Fail of Arab costume scene.

Good real plot.

Decent elevator scene.

Senators for sale. Yup, sounds about right (no sarcasm intended).

The only good part about the court scene is the translator scene. Excellent acting by Stephanie Clayman.

Decent limo talk scene.

Complete fail of writing.

Fail of street scene.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending. Oh dear god.

Corky Romano, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: David Garrett, Jason Ward

Director: Rob Pritts

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue

"The meeting between your genitals and this knife." It had potential to be a good line.

Plot: FBI wants to indict a mafia family.

Story: Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting.

Excellent acting by Kris Kattan. Wow.

Comments:

Fail of intro. Should have done it with freeze moment narration.

The fact that the house is under surveillance would negate the solution.

Terrible writing, dialogue, characters.

A-ha's 1984 Take On Me song. Wow. That song never gets old.

Fat cat in a cage. Jokes. Should have stopped there. The rest of the movie was garbage.

Powerfully stupid solution for the plot.

Excellent German Shepherd scene.

Fail of boardroom meeting. It had lots of comedy potential.

White supremacist scene had lots of comedy potential. Wasted again. Complete fail of writing.

Fail of arrest scene.

Fail of midget scene.

Fail of agent breakdown scene.

Fail of family breakdown scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Black Knight, 2001: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Darryl J. Quarles, Peter Gaulke, Gerry Swallow

Director: Gil Junger

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue throughout.

"He's no longer funny but refuses to give up on the joke." Good line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A CEO wants to close a medieval entertainment park.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Fail of all acting.

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting.

Comments:

Good bathroom intro.

Good office scene. And…it went downhill from there.

Fail of solution.

Good rescue scene.

Fail of music content throughout.

In the medieval eras, visible minorities would normally be slaves and women treated like dirt (more so than today). It's nice that the writers avoided that snag.

Fail of 3 women talking scene.

And we're into stupid comedy. Sigh.

Visible minorities as leads in sh*tty movies. Again, almost like it's intentional.

Fail of court scene.

Oh…the horse is so cute and loving, but still fail of horse scene.

A lot of wasted potential comedy moments.

Fail of dinner table.

Fail of dance scene, but nice try.

Knives in a loaf of bread. That should be used in today's assassin movies.

Fail of all other scenes.

Fail of cinematography throughout.

Fail of beheading scene.

Good training scenes with music.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

The Animal, 2001: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Rob Schneider, Tom Brady

Director: Luke Greenfield

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Rob Schneider.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Old man hits him. Jokes.

At least everything is moving pretty fast.

Hey, the guy from Scrubs (John C. McGinley). Always a pleasure sir.

Decent obstacle course scene.

What is the music clearance bill for this movie? Sounds pretty high.

Stupid funny but Rob Schneider makes it work.

Good airport scene.

Good mailbox scene.

Fail of pet clinic scene.

Excellent goat scene.

Fail of river scene.

Decent date scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Just Visiting, 2001: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Jean-Marie Poire, Christian Clavier, John Hughes

Director: Jean-Marie Gaubert

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to be with a woman.

Story: Character, Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Fail

Excellent acting by Jean Reno.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of all medieval scenes. Too stupid.

Fail of ballroom scene.

Good museum scene.

Excellent underground parking lot scene.

Destroys the car. Jokes.

Good police scene.

Rolls off the table. Jokes.

Good car scene.

Stupid funny, but the comedy and acting is solid.

Good bathroom scene.

Good restaurant scene.

Good home scenes throughout.

Good man/lady knife scene.

Decent club scene.

Good climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers and it passed. Rare.

Rat Race, 2001: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Andy Breckman

Director: Jerry Zucker

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A group of people want a better life.

Story: Ambition, Character, Relationships, Family.

Characters: Fail

Good crazy girl pilot character.

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Breckin Meyer.

Excellent acting by Jon Lovitz as usual.

Comments:

Excellent hotel reception intro.

Rowan Atkinson. Nice to see you.

Elites betting on people to win. Yup, that’s definitely going on in reality.

Powerfully stupid plot.

Excellent helicopter backyard scene.

Fail of car scene.

Nazi meeting. Jokes.

Excellent ex-boyfriend chase.

Fail of tour bus scene.

Good cattle scene.

Excellent Nazi chase.

Good prostitution scene.

Good highway driving distraction scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Normally, this movie would have failed, but the actors and few excellent scenes passed it.

The Wedding Planner, 2001: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Michael Ellis, Pamela Falk

Director: Adam Shankman

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A wedding planner wants to be with an engaged man.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

"You have the love of a man." I don't think the man-hating feminists would approve of that line.

Good wedding prep scenes throughout.

Threatening to deport a worker. That's not cool.

Good office scene.

Article in Yahoo. That's how you know this is a 2001 movie.

Good hospital scene.

Good outdoor movie scene.

Excellent dance scene.

Good wedding prep scenes throughout.

Good flower talk scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

The Mexican, 2001: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: J.H. Wyman

Director: Gore Verbinski

Dialogue: Fail

"You want me to rape you?" "Are you gay?" "You want me to rape you?" You're gay." Excellent line, excellent delivery. I don’t think the MeToo movement would appreciate it though.

Plot: A guy wants to smuggle a gun to the US.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Julia Roberts, but not enough to pass this movie and garbage characters.

Fail of James Gandolfini’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro with music.

Fail of office scene.

Excellent apart building scene.

Fail of Mexican hotel scene.

Gun plot is too stupid.

Fail of Mexican bar scene.

Fail of all music content throughout.

Good bathroom scene.

No one helps her in a public place. really?

Fail of highway/car scene.

Instead of explaining everything directly, could have been part of movie.

Fail of all Brad Pitt Mexican scenes.

Fail of gas station scene.

Fail of car talk scene.

Good bathroom scene.

Fail of diner scene.

Fail of motel scene.

Fail of storytelling of solution. Fail of writing.

Good motel scene.

Fail of office scene.

Excellent phone scene.

I'm a product of my emotions. Oh dear god.

Fail of road realization scene.

Fail of reunited scene.

Fail of corny flashback scenes. Oh dear god.

Decent climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Someone Like You, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Elizabeth Chandler

Director: Tony Goldwyn

Dialogue: Fail

"Don't bother Eddie, I already know you're an asshole." Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: A woman wants to be with a man.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Ashley Judd.

Comments:

Fail of farm intro.

Women studying men. Oh dear.

Oh…the cows are so cute and loving.

Decent talk scene.

Fail of married couple.

Fail of business meeting scene.

Wow, the woman from Oceans 13 (Ellen Barkin).

Good fooling around scene.

Fail of dinner scene.

Decent new apartment scene.

Decent bar scene.

Too much narration.

Fail of cow analogy throughout.

Remove the amygdale. Oh dear god.

Fail of staying up late scene.

Why bother with romance when we're going to cheat? Because of the thrill of the hunt. The thrill of manipulation women. Not that I would know anything about that.

Fail of meeting scene.

Fail of hopeful date scenes.

Decent elevator scene.

Good office scene.

Excellent boss office scene.

Good bar scene.

Excellent apartment scene.

Excellent morning after scene.

Fail of hospital scene.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

Bubble Boy, 2001: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Cinco Paul, Ken Daurio

Director: Blair Hayes

Dialogue: Pass

Weak dialogue in beginning but got better.

Plot: A guy wants to stop a wedding.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters throughout.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Hitting a hard-on with a bat. Jokes.

MC hammer’s Can't Touch This. How much did that music clearance cost?

Good bedroom scenes throughout.

Halloween scene is so cute and loving.

All women will leave you except mommy. Ah…Christian parents.

Beach boys and the Rocky music. The music clearance bill must have been pretty high.

A woman settling for an asshole. Yup, sounds about right.

Weird bus people scene, but it plays well.

Bird attacks the bubble. Jokes.

Oh dear god, Fabio. But it plays.

Good gangster scene.

Excellent bus motorcycle scenes throughout. Very well done.

Good train scene.

Fail of bar scene.

Kids running for ice cream. Jokes.

Brought into my life like a hot flash. Jokes. Kudos to the writer.

Excellent ice cream driving scenes.

“My car…my car freaks.” Jokes.

Good Asian bar scene.

Dumb cult people scene.

Fail of fight scene.

Could have done better with robbery scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent sacred cow scene.

Excellent ending.

One of the best movies of all time.

Shallow Hal, 2001: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Peter Farrelly, Robert Farrelly, Sean Moynihan

Director: Peter Farrelly, Robert Farrelly

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A guy wants to be with hot women.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Fail

Fail of Jason Alexander’s acting (disappointing).

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of hospital scene.

Fail of bar scenes throughout.

The date scene is just sad. But don't worry, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Fail of Tony Robbins scene.

Decent elevator scene.

Jason Alexander was unnecessary in this movie.

The solution is funny in theory, but the implementation is a failure.

Decent date scenes but lacking in comedy.

Fail of house scenes.

Fail of all scenes.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

This movie should be redone with a better writer and different actors.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

The Brothers, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Gary Hardwick

Director: Gary Hardwick

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Brothers want a better life.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of psychiatrist intro.

Fail of music content.

Fail of basketball scene.

Fail of bar scene.

A movie about Black clichés. No thanks.

Fail of bed scene.

3 years into marriage and no blowjob. Are you cracked in the head? Too unbelievable.

Who would marry these messed up women? Apparently, clueless Black men.

Fail of hallucination scene.

Good family talk scene.

Fail of almost all scenes. Complete fail of writing.

Fail of mother/son house talk scene.

Getting sh*t for having sex with a White woman? Yup, sounds about right.

Little Ashley from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (Tatyana Ali). Wow. What a blast from the past.

Fail of music content throughout.

Good mother/son talk scene.

Fail of basketball scene.

Fail of father/son talk scene.

Good divorce scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Saving Silverman, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Hank Nelken, Greg DePaul

Director: Dennis Dugan

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A woman wants to control her boyfriend.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good childhood scene. I wonder how many takes it took.

Steal your man juice. Jokes.

Good senior's home scene.

Decent bar scene.

No premarital sex? Good luck with that. I know Muslim women who say that to their family but don't practice it.

A guy not getting sex or blowjobs from his girlfriend. Really? In liberal culture today? You have my sympathies.

Fail of flashback scene.

Reclining scene could have been better.

Relationship counseling. Oh dear.

Fail of psychologists scene.

Fail of table tennis scene.

Fail of diner scene.

Fail of crazy house scene.

Fail of infiltration scene.

Fail of chained up scene.

Fail of circus flashback scene.

Fail of cemetery scene.

Fail of jail scene.

Good lunch date scene.

Fail of escape scene.

Fail of nun convent scene.

Fail of dinner scene.

Fail of street fighting flashback scene.

Fail of realization scene.

Fail of prison scene.

Fail of prison break scene.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Decent ending.

Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Eric Abrams, Matthew Berry

Director: Simon Wincer

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants a better life for his family.

Story: Family, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters, especially studio ones.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Jere Burns’ acting.

Comments:

Fail of into.

"Which one is the White man?" Jokes.

Fail of stare thing.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Good hand break scene.

Coffee enema. Jokes.

Fail of real plot. It would work if they started with this plot. Fail of writing.

Mike Tyson. Sigh.

Fail of production shoot.

Fail of drive thru scene.

Breaks the antenna. Jokes.

Good street fight scene.

Fail of music content.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending but good last crocodile shot.

Freddy Got Fingered, 2001: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Tom Green, Derek Harvie

Director: Tom Green

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A father wants a better life for his son.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Stupid funny movie. Oh dear god.

Fail of bus scene.

Fail of all assembly line scenes.

Fail of all office scenes.

Complete fail of all scenes.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Ah…the beginning of the 2000s, where Hollywood gatekeepers existed. Go f*ck yourself. Thankfully, distributors today pay attention to YouTube and Facebook.

Fail of road truck.

Fail of every scene. Dear god, this is garbage.

Fail of horse sex scene.

Fail of hospital scene.

Super hot nurse girl.

Smack legs with bamboo. Jokes. Best scene of the movie.

freddy got fingered 2001- bamboo stick

Fail of shower scene.

A liberal woman desperate to give blowjobs? It sounds good if you forget about all the crazy.

Fail of restaurant scene.

That's some messed up puppet scene.

Fail of counselor scene.

What was the music clearance bill for this movie?

Fail of airstrip scene.

Fail of fast food scene.

Sliced cheese. Ew. That's not even real cheese.

Fail of animator office scene.

Fail of roof scene.

Fail of Pakistan scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. Thankfully it was an Epic Commercial Failure generating less than $15 million at the box office, which proves that God DOES exist.

The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Extended Edition), 2001: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Peter Jackson

Director: Peter Jackson

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A dark lord wants to rule the world.

Story: Ethics, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Ian McKellen.

Excellent acting by Elijah Wood.

Comments:

Excellent narrated intro.

Excellent music content throughout. This is the composer you want for your blockbuster movie.

Excellent directing and cinematography.

Good shire scenes.

Excellent ring scenes throughout.

Good Mordor aerial scenes throughout.

Good friend scenes throughout.

Good magician talk scene.

Good bar scene.

Second breakfast. Jokes.

Good fight scene.

Good energetic view scene.

Tidal wave of water against bad men on horses? Well done.

Excellent elf scenes.

Excellent mountain scenes.

Excellent object falling in well scene.

Good cave battle.

Excellent fire creature vs. Gandalf.

Fail of queen elf scene.

Crystal light blue water. I only have lake Ontario so I wouldn't understand.

Good climax fight scene.

Decent ending.

Passed with 3 writers. Well done.

One of the best movies of all time.

American Pie 2, 2001: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Adam Herz

Director: James B. Rogers

Dialogue: Pass

"Oh...f*ck me geek." "Affirmative." Decent line, excellent delivery.

Plot: Young adults want a good summer.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent college dorm scene. Very well done.

Good party scene.

Excellent peeing scene. Very well done.

Excellent band camp scenes throughout.

Excellent phone sex scene.

Good two girls scene.

Good glue dick scene.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

One of the best movies of all time.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, 2001: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Steve Kloves

Director: Chris Columbus

Dialogue: Pass

"He's not Fred, I am. Honestly woman, you call yourself our mother." Good line and delivery.

Plot: An evil group wants to capture a boy.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting all around. Very impressive.

Excellent acting by Alan Rickman.

Fail of Richard Harris’ acting.

Excellent acting by Emma Watson.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good house scene.

Fail of basement scene.

Good brick code. Well done.

Interesting bank locking mechanism.

Good wand store scene.

Excellent train platform scene.

Excellent train scene.

Good feast scene.

Always nice to see the token black kid. well done Hollywood.

Good scenes throughout.

Excellent Snape scenes throughout.

Excellent broom scene.

Odd that the teacher can't exercise some level of control.

Good 3 headed dog scene. Could have been better.

Good bathroom scene.

Fail of outdoor sport thing. Too stupid for me.

Decent mirror scene.

Oh…the mastiff dog is so cute.

Good forest scene.

Good pre-climax scene.

Interesting giant chess scene. Well done.

Decent climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid movie.

3000 Miles to Graceland, 2001: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Richard Recco, Demian Lichtenstein

Director: Demian Lichtenstein

Dialogue: Fail

Kevin Costner's dialogue is painful to listen to.

Plot: Thieves want to rob a casino.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Kevin Costner’s acting.

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of robbery scene. Too stupid. I hate stupid comedy movies. Only fit for direct to video/streaming.

Hardcore shootout in the casino. Really?

Good betrayal scene. But everything goes downhill from there.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Complete fail of writing. Oh dear god.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

$62 million production budget. Warner Bros. Pictures has money to burn.

American Outlaws, 2001: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Roderick Taylor, John Rogers

Director: Les Mayfield

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue throughout.

Plot: A railroad company wants to take land from Confederates.

Story: Ethics, Family, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Another period piece. Oh dear god, how many have I watched? Too many. Note to Hollywood, stop doing period pieces. Leave history to documentaries.

An old fashioned mini-gun. Well done.

Fail of battle scene.

Ah…the plight of good looking White people…and one Native-American. Well done.

Fail of house scene.

Timothy Dalton. Oh my god. What a blast from the past.

Fail of meeting scene.

Good horse window scene.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of bank heist scene.

Scientific method. Jokes.

Fail of rich asswipe meeting scenes throughout.

Good rain scene. Rain does tend to make a scene better.

Fail of rivalry plot.

Fail of beach scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Antitrust, 2001: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Howard Franklin

Director: Peter Howitt

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A technology company wants to succeed at any cost.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Tim Robbins’ acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Nerd boss inspiring nerd staff. Jokes.

Fail of plot and solution.

Plot could have worked with different writers.

Fail of surveillance scene.

Complete fail of almost all scenes. Weak writing throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Cats and Dogs, 2001: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: John Requa, Glenn Ficarra

Director: Lawrence Guterman

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A cat wants to destroy a scientist's formula.

Story: Character, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Excellent cat characters.

Acting: Pass

Good voice acting all around.

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent secret headquarters scene.

Good dog barn scene.

Tobey Maguire. Wow. Weird hearing him after his fall from grace.

Good dog house scenes throughout.

Good cat house scenes throughout.

Good CGI cat.

Fail of ancient past scene. Too stupid.

Good cat bathing scene.

Fail of cat ninjas scene.

Good girl cat scene.

Good soccer god scene.

Lamb chop. Jokes.

Good old man cat scene.

Russian spy cat. Jokes.

"You fight like a poodle." Jokes.

I would have liked to see the cleanup crew.

Good maid cat scene.

Good cat limo scene.

Good HQ scene.

Good kidnapping scene.

Good climax scene.

Good toy gun cause and effect scene.

World domination pamphlets. Jokes.

Good ending.

Solid movie.

Behind Enemy Lines, 2001: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: David Veloz, Zak Penn

Director: John Moore

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Bosnians-Serbs want to kill US pilots.

Story: Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Hey, the guy from Suits (Gabriel Macht).

Hey, the guy from Clear and Present Danger (Joaquim de Almeida).

Fail of military brass talk scene.

Fail of lunchroom scene.

Fail of pilot-brass talk scene.

Excellent fighter jet scenes.

Interesting on the ground scenes throughout.

Fail of brass radio talk scene.

Good satellite scene

Good slow motion blast scene

Good battle scene.

Good report scene

Good landmine scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

This movie normally would have failed but it has enough plot twists to pass.

Kudos to the writer and Owen Wilson in a non-comedy movie.

Exit Wounds, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Ed Horowitz, Richard D'Ovidio

Director: Andrzej Bartkowiak

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue. Horrible.

Plot: A militant group wants to kidnap the vice president.

Story: Ambition, Family, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Unbelievable intro, but passable.

Unbelievable explosions scene, even for a 2001 movie.

The lack of gratitude doesn't make sense.

Fail of group therapy scenes.

Don't need to do slow motion fight scenes with Steven Seagal.

Fail of car dealership scene. Just terrible.

Nice that everything was filmed in Toronto. Thank you for your money. And they must have paid a pretty penny for that since it was in the heart of downtown. I even saw an old Chapters bookstore sign on Richmond Street. Kudos.

Interesting police culture scene.

Fail of shootout scene.

Complete fail of writing.

How did this garbage movie get a wide release? I didn't know Seagal and DMX had such strong star power in 2001.

And we're now on women as sex objects in the club. Fabulous. Well done Hollywood.

Fail of club fight scene.

Fail of interrogation scene.

Fail of music content throughout.

Look at the muscles on this Black man. Christ.

And the plot thickens...but it still doesn't make sense.

Fail of initial and full realization scene.

Fail of climax scene with terrible music content.

Decent ending.

Spy Game, 2001: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Michael Frost Beckner, David Arata

Director: Tony Scott

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Chinese govt wants to kill a CIA agent.

Story: Ambition, Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Brad Pitt as usual.

Excellent acting by Stephen Dillane.

Comments:

Good intro.

Excellent Vietnam flashbacks.

Excellent flashbacks throughout.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Beautiful background scenery.

Excellent Beirut op scenes with excellent music content.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent writing and directing.

Excellent ending, with excellent music content.

This movie should have made more money. It's not the most riveting movie, but a solid one.

$115 million production budget. Way too high.

Out Cold, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jon Zack

Director: Emmett Malloy, Brendan Malloy

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue throughout.

Plot: A businessman wants to change a ski mountain.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good bar scene.

Good weird drinking race tradition.

Ah…my short lived snowboarding days. Never again. That's a young man's sport. A young man who has nothing to lose if he gets injured.

Excellent polar bear scene.

Fail of office scene.

Good snowboarding cinematography throughout.

Fail of cable accident scene.

Decent guy/girl scenes.

Fail of owner/guy talk scene.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of car scene.

At least this movie was kind enough to throw in a visible minority.

F*cking around. Ah…liberal women.

Excellent hot tub frozen scene.

Fail of drug testing scene.

Fail of party scene.

Yes, people fart prior to, during, and after sex. Deal with it.

Fail of speech scene.

Fail of climax snowboarding scenes. Too stupid.

Another token Black man in the end. Well done Hollywood.

Fail of ending.

Complete fail of writing.

Pootie Tang, 2001: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Louis C.K.

Director: Louis C.K.

Dialogue: Fail

Some of the worst dialogue I’ve ever heard.

Plot: A company wants to destroy a celebrity.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Some of the worst characters I’ve ever seen.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of drug scene. Everything looks terrible. Acting, writing, directing, cinematography, all from the first few scenes. Christ. Curse you Louis C.K.

Even the belting is terrible.

Fail of music video intro.

Fail of all childhood scenes throughout.

Fail of every scene, holy f*ck, it's complete garbage. Complete fail of writing.

Fail of corporate scenes throughout.

Fail of all Chris Rock scenes throughout.

A lot of mid-big names in this movie.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Fail of offer scene.

Fail of music scenes throughout.

Decent prostitution scene. Sadly, the best scene of the movie.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of weird interrogation scene.

Fail of grocery store scene.

Fail of talk show scenes.

Fail of farming scenes.

Would be better to gouge out your eyes instead of watching this movie.

Fail of pie girl scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made just over $3 million proves that God DOES exist.

How did this movie get a wide release? Must have been an act of Satan, Hollywood's deity.

Continued in Part 2