Hollywood Movie Review Series:

*Movies are in no particular order. Please use Crtl F on your keyboard to find a particular movie. Movies that got a wide release in the year after their first screening are listed in the next year. For example, 300 (2006) is listed in 2007 because it only got a wide release in 2007.

*Don't worry about spoilers. You can read the review of any movie without being afraid of spoilers and enjoy the movie if you watch it. I intentionally made sure not to ruin a movie by revealing a hidden plot or hidden climax scene. I simply pass or fail each scene and comment on them.

Inglourious Basterds, 2009: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Quentin Tarantino

Director: Quentin Tarantino

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue.

Plot: Nazis want to kill people.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Complete fail of all acting. Oh dear god.

Fail of Brad Pitt’s acting.

Good acting by Michael Fassbender as usual.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of farm scene.

Fail of Nazi hunters scenes throughout.

Fail of music content.

Fail of writing, directing, acting, music, dialogue.

Fail of all Nazi scenes.

A lot of A-listers for this garbage movie.

A new era for German cinema. What?

German cinema vs. Hollywood. Hollywood won. Nuff said.

Good bar scene. The only scene in the movie worth watching.

Men strangling women to death. Well done Hollywood. I'm surprised they didn't make that the trailer like the X-Men Apocalypse movie.

Fox apologizes for X-Men: Apocalypse promo image of Jennifer Lawrence being strangled

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of Tarantino’s worst movies.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $300 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Would be nice to see Tarantino make a movie with no name stars and rest his laurels on his writing and directing.

Couples Retreat, 2009: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn, Dana Fox

Director: Peter Billingsley

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Various couples want a better life.

Story: Relationships.

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good old clip intro.

Black slutty women with a sugar daddy. Yup, sounds about right.

Good phone talk scene.

Doesn't even offer to pay to clean the toilet. Cheap asswipe.

Good home birthday party scene.

Good presentation scene.

Fail of house invasion scene. Doesn’t make sense.

Emotionless ovulation sex. That's sad.

Wow, the water is such a nice blue.

Good couple scenes throughout.

Decent dinner scene.

A French couple guru. Actually, that makes sense.

Excellent stripping down/naked scene.

Good couple talk therapy scenes throughout.

Decent swim scene.

Good massage scenes.

Excellent yoga scene. Very well done.

Decent night boat scene.

Fail of video game scene. Too stupid.

"You left me, but I was hoping you'd come after me." Get the f*ck outta here.

Good climax scene.

Good toilet ending.

Passed with 3 writers. Kudos.

It's Complicated, 2009: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Nancy Meyers

Director: Nancy Meyers

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A middle-aged woman wants a better life.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Pass

Excellent acting by Meryl Streep as usual.

Excellent acting by Alec Baldwin as usual.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good home scenes throughout.

Good grocery store scene.

Fail of elevator scene.

Excellent sex scenes throughout.

Good woman talk scenes throughout.

Good tub scene.

Good therapist scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Meryl Streep is definitely the best actress on the planet and will always be a legendary actress in the future.

The Hangover, 2009: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Jon Lucas, Scott Moore

Director: Todd Phillips

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Friends want to throw their friend a bachelor party.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting.

Comments:

Good intro.

Excellent room scene.

Good car talk scenes throughout.

Good Vegas scenes throughout.

Rooster walking. Jokes.

Baby in the closet. Jokes.

Excellent baby harness scenes throughout.

Who threatens people with a baby in the car? Sadly, scummy people.

Good police scenes throughout.

Kids tasering him. Jokes.

Fail of all Mike Tyson scenes throughout.

A tiger in the car. Very well done.

Good climax scene.

F*cked the waiter. Jokes.

Good ending.

Brothers, 2009: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: David Benioff

Director: Jim Sheridan

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A soldier wants to get back to his wife.

Story: Family, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good home scenes throughout.

Good dinner scene.

Good attack scene.

Fail of door realization scene.

Decent funeral scene.

Good capture/confinement scenes throughout.

Good dual contrast scenes throughout.

You're invading the Middle East. What did you expect? A welcome?

Who wears good pants for painting. Idiot.

Ah…psychological torture. Now we're talking.

Back home and a broken man.

Good flat tone to movie. But another tone could have worked as well.

Good skating talk scene.

Fail of widow baby talk scene.

Excellent dinner scene. The tension has to be dealt with. Well done.

Good climax scene. Could have been better though.

Good ending.

Solid movie. Should have at least made it to Potential Profit.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon, 2009: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Melissa Rosenberg

Director: Chris Weitz

Dialogue: Fail

Garbage dialogue as the first movie.

Plot: A guy doesn't want to be with a girl.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good forest intro.

Ah…the wind blowing his shirt as he walks. Oh course, I'm sure tweens are swooning.

"You give me everything just by breathing." Oh dear god. Just die already.

Decent classroom scenes.

And we finally get to the vampire council.

Fail of paper cut scene. Christ those special effects are still garbage in 2009.

Good first aid scene.

Decent forest talk scene.

Fail of house/dream scene.

Decent motorcycle building scenes.

Beef with Sam. Oh dear.

Decent movie theater scene.

And now he has a haircut. Fabulous.

Fail of rain talk scene.

Rejected. Up yours. I mean…I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm here for you.

Fail of black vampire scene.

Fail of vampire wolf scene.

Excellent wolf vs. wolf fight.

So there's a werewolf gene. Of course that makes sense. Sigh. It would have made more sense to go with Native American magic.

Fail of Victoria wolves forest scene.

Fail of music content throughout.

Good car scene.

Fail of Alice house scene.

Excellent slow motion Italy scene.

At least she's not so pale and white in this movie.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

Duplicity, 2009: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Tony Gilroy

Director: Tony Gilroy

Dialogue: Pass

Excellent dialogue throughout.

Plot: A corporation wants to steal secrets from another corporation.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Clive Owen.

Excellent acting by Julia Roberts.

Excellent acting by Tom Wilkinson.

Good acting by Paul Giamatti as usual.

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent slow motion airstrip scene. Jokes. One of the best parts in the movie.

Duplicity 2009 opening titles

Excellent decision to mute dialogue.

Decent street scene.

Excellent jewelry store scene.

Excellent bar scene.

Excellent writing and directing.

Decent investigative scenes throughout.

Decent office scene.

Decent CEO investigative scene.

Good past Europe scene.

Good room scene.

Good interrogation scene.

Good past scenes throughout.

Decent car recording scene.

Good room scene.

Good pre-climax scenes.

Excellent climax scene.

Good ending.

This movie should have made more money. The fact that it didn't proves that God does NOT exist.

Imagine That, 2009: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Ed Solomon, Chris Matheson

Director: Karey Kirkpatrick

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A financial advisor wants to get ahead of his competition.

Story: Family, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of boardroom scene.

Fail of school scene.

Fail of ex-wife scene.

Fail of boxing scene.

Fail of dad/daughter scenes throughout.

Fail of competitor scenes throughout. A White man so connected to nature/spirituality/Native culture. Oh dear.

Fail of daughter work scenes throughout.

Fail of freak-out scene.

Fail of father/imaginary scenes throughout. Not enough build up to justify all of it.

Fail of farm scene.

Fail of dinner scene.

Fail of food scene.

Fail of toy scene.

Fail of vision scene contrast.

Fail of pre-climax board scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending. As if that would happen to a Black guy. Beyond suspension of disbelief. Ha ha ha.

This movie should have been direct to video/streaming.

Can Hollywood stop giving roles to Eddie Murphy? Or, if they can't stop, can they get better writers? F*ck sakes.

Armored, 2009: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: James V. Simpson

Director: Nimrod Antal

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A bank wants to take a man's house.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of locker scene.

Good transport scenes throughout.

Fail of robbery scene.

Fail of house talk scene.

Fail of manager talk scenes throughout.

Fail of child services scene.

A reformed Christian is part of the heist. Really?

Fail of solution scene.

Fail of all scenes after heist begins.

Good cop scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Invictus, 2009: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Anthony Peckham

Director: Clint Eastwood

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: White South Africans don't want a Black president.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good contrast intro.

Good night walk scene.

Good house athlete scene.

White people leaving. Cry me a river. Well done.

Good work speech scene.

Ah…smug UK intel agent. Understandable since they turned a blind eye to South Africa’s apartheid system.

Excellent tension scene.

Good sports stadium scenes throughout.

Good night TV house scene.

Good room protest reform/speech scene.

Integration after such racism will always be difficult.

Fail of locker room scene.

White people with Black servants in South Africa. Yup, sounds about right.

Aside from apartheid South Africa, it reminds me of Hawaii. So many generations of White people have lived there for so long that they feel that it's their “natural homeland.”

"I heard that one before. It wasn't funny the first time." Jokes.

Good president meeting scene.

Decent home talk scene.

Good gym scene.

Good bus window scene.

Good volunteer training scene.

Decent to good scenes throughout.

Good jail tour scene.

Good rugby guard scene.

Good cinematography throughout.

Good plane scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

The good news is that sports can unite a divided people. The sad news is that sports can unite a divided people.

Where the Wild Things Are, 2009: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Spike Jonze, Dave Eggers

Director: Spike Jonze

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue.

Plot: A boy wants a better life.

Story: Character, Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of all scenes. Complete fail of writing.

A boy angry at his life and then a magical world. Really?

While some things have live action potential, some things don't. It would be best if Hollywood could understand the difference.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

$100 million production budget. Warner Bros. Pictures has money to money.

My Life in Ruins, 2009: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Mike Reiss

Director: Donald Petrie

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue. They're forcing the comedy.

"Sorry bout that. My daughter's chronically unhappy. It's not her fault. It's a genetic thing." Good line, fail in delivery.

Plot: An employee wants another employee to quit.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of most scenes. Complete fail of writing.

Could have made muscular show off scene better.

I don't know what this movie wanted to be, but either way it failed.

Sometimes you need to exit on the high with one hit wonders.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

The Blind Side, 2009: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: John Lee Hancock

Director: John Lee Hancock

Dialogue: Pass

"It's girls volleyball mom. You didn't miss anything." Decent line, good delivery.

Plot: A Black guy wants a better life.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Sandra Bullock.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Fail of boardroom scene.

Decent coach talk scene.

Fail of house talk scene.

Decent volleyball scene.

Good park scene.

Good laundry scene.

Good house scenes throughout.

Good arrogant lunch scene.

Good tone to movie.

Excellent DMV scene.

Excellent mother football pep talk scene.

Good football scenes throughout.

Fail of board room scene.

Good hood house scene.

Good hood talk scene. Too unbelievable, but I’ll let that slide.

Decent non-climax scene. But it’s based on a true story, so…

Excellent ending of real person.

Solid movie.

The Soloist, 2009: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Susannah Grant

Director: Joe Wright

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A journalist wants to do a story on a homeless musician.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Jamie Foxx. One of his best roles.

Comments:

Always nice to see an opening image of the printing press. A relic when it's contemporary version will be dead in the next decade or so.

Excellent street scenes throughout. Jamie Foxx's acting really pushed the envelope. Well done.

Excellent development process scenes throughout.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Good solid movie.

This movie should have made it to Potential Profit at the least. The fact that it didn't proves that God does NOT exist.

To be fair, this movie shouldn't have cost $60 million to make.

Obsessed, 2009: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: David Loughery

Director: Steve Shill

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue.

Plot: A woman wants to be with her married boss.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Terrible dialogue throughout.

Oddly enough, if he was honest from the start, none of this would have happened. But then, there would be no movie either.

Fail of all scenes. Complete fail of acting, characters, dialogue, writing, cinematography.

Balancing in heels in the attic. Really?

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

Hotel for Dogs, 2009: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Jeff Lowell, Mark McCorkle, Bob Schooley

Director: Thor Freudenthal

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Kids don't want to live with their foster parents.

Story: Ambition, Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good police scene.

Decent house scenes throughout.

The dogs are so loving and cute.

Good hotel solution scenes throughout.

Bulldog that eats anything. Jokes.

Impressive feeding device.

Ah yes…humans putting animals in their place. Well done humanity.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Passed with 3 writers. Well done.

The Time Traveller's Wife, 2009: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Bruce Joel Rubin

Director: Robert Schwentke

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to be with his soul mate.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Rachel McAdams.

Comments:

Fail of intro. Too unbelievable.

Just disappearing. What?

Problem beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of all scenes. Transports and naked. So the space-time continuum doesn't allow clothes?

Wouldn't the character be considered a pedophile for grooming her? But it's a love story so…

Relationship scenes are good but plot is too unbelievable. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

This movie should be rewritten with a better writer and better imagination.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

A Perfect Getaway (Director's Cut), 2009: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: David Twohy

Director: David Twohy

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Someone wants to kill people on an island.

Story: Survival, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of home video camera intro.

Taking on unstable strangers. Only White couples would be that dumb.

Decent twist.

Too much of inner sociopath world.

A smarter woman would have pushed him off with a giant log instead of running away.

Having a gun defeats the purpose.

Sound content is too much. But good effort.

Decent climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Not Easily Broken, 2009: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Brian Bird

Director: Bill Duke

Dialogue: Fail

Stale dialogue, except for basketball skirmish.

Plot: A husband wants a better life.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Fail of Eddie Cibrian’s acting.

Comments:

Good intro.

Excellent basketball skirmish scene.

Fail of music content.

A man settling for a stressful wife with no kids. Get your ass out of there. It can't be saved.

Fail of voiceovers throughout.

Fail of weird dream scene.

Fail of slow motion basketball skirmish/swimming scene near the end.

"Has God been the third strand?" Oh please.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Knowing, 2009: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Ryne Douglas Pearson, Juliet Snowden, Stiles White

Director: Alex Proyas

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Spirits want to torment a little girl.

Story: Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Weird movie.

Nostradamus in the 21st century. Speaking of Nostradamus, how come there isn't a modern movie about his life aside from the 1994 movie?

Powerfully stupid movie. Fail of most scenes.

Excellent cinematography.

Nicholas Cage is the correct actor for these stupid plot movies. And audience usually loves it.

I couldn't help but notice the benevolent extraterrestrials and the children chosen were both White. Well done Hollywood.

Decent climax scene.

Fail of ending.

I'm surprised this movie made almost $200 million. One of Nicholas Cage's few successes.

Last Chance Harvey, 2009: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Joel Hopkins

Director: Joel Hopkins

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A company wants to push out a guy.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Dustin Hoffman.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good house talk scene.

Good parking lot scene.

Good plane scene.

Good restaurant scene.

Good reflective moments.

Good tone to movie.

Good morning talk scene.

Stiff upper lip. Jokes.

Good talking scenes throughout.

Good wedding scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

The writer could have added more plot to the woman’s character.

Shorts, 2009: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Robert Rodriguez

Director: Robert Rodriguez

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A corporation wants every consumer to buy their product.

Story: Relationships, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters. Oh dear god.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Powerfully stupid movie.

Fail of blinking intro.

A Star Trek replicator in a black box. Really?

Almost every scene is a failure.

Male stuffing. Jokes.

Fail of video game narrating/scenes.

Fail of music content.

Complete fail of writing.

He got hit with a rock to the face and fell from a tree. Shouldn't he be dead?

Show no mercy and a drop kick to the face. Well done.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Fail of decontamination home plot.

Texting a person while in the same room. Yup, that's a 21st century marriage.

A wiener. Jokes.

Fail of baby scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

How did this movie get a wide release in over 3000 theaters with garbage writing, directing, acting and no A or B-list stars? The mysteries of the universe continue to present themselves.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that this movie made almost $30 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Amelia, 2009: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Ronald Bass, Anna Hamilton Phelan

Director: Mira Nair

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dry dialogue.

"You have dirt on your face." “I believe you're referring to my freckles. They come with the skin." "Well I don't like them." Good line, fail in delivery

Plot: Men want a woman to fly across the world.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Good acting all around.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of dialogue right off the bat.

Hollywood, for the love of god, stop doing period pieces.

Let history be history in docs, not movies.

Fail of all scenes.

Good office scene.

"I give the orders and you take them." Well done Hollywood.

Fail of house scene.

Decent plane scenes throughout, but not enough to pass.

This movie looks very expensive.

Fail of interview scene.

Fail of ballroom scene.

Good cinematography throughout.

Decent music content.

Ah…the arrangement even into marriage. Well done sir.

Difficult for the audience to relate to this from plane perspective, and while women could relate to it, they didn't.

Fail of all characters, but it's based on a true story...so.

Fail of all scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

State of Play, 2009: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Matthew Michael Carnahan, Tony Gilroy, Billy Ray

Director: Kevin Macdonald

Dialogue: Pass

Fail of all Jeff Daniels dialogue.

Plot: US govt wants to investigate a private security corporation.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Russell Crowe.

Excellent acting by Helen Mirren.

Excellent acting by Rachel McAdams.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good street scene.

Decent subway scene.

Good reporting scenes throughout.

And the mudslinging begins.

Decent apartment talk scene.

Always make sure you have a pen.

Excellent hospital scene.

Fail of political hearing scenes throughout.

Good confrontation scene.

Decent explanation scene.

Pen necklace. Jokes.

And the plot thickens.

Fail of climax scene.

Good newspaper process ending.

Passed with 3 writers. Well done.

The acting really pushed this movie to pass. But the movie shouldn't have cost $60 million to make.

My Sister's Keeper, 2009: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Jeremy Leven, Nick Cassavetes

Director: Nick Cassavetes

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A sister doesn't want to give her kidney away.

Story: Family

Characters: Fail

Mother character too unbelievable.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Abigail Breslin’s acting. Not the right actress for the role.

Fail of Alec Baldwin’s acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of all characters. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of all mother scenes.

Fail of plot.

Fail of all scenes.

The movie is garbage for the writing and acting but raises great issues. This movie should be redone today with a better writer.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

The Box, 2009: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Richard Kelly

Director: Richard Kelly

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A family wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Frank Langella.

Comments:

Interesting intro.

A NASA engineer is financially strapped. Really?

I’m surprised they didn't use Aladdin and the genie. But that’s what copyright is for.

Complete fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Music content doesn't fit.

Scenes are too dated. Weird lighting doesn't help.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

I wonder if the writers got some ideas from conspiracy theorist David Icke.

Notorious (Director's Cut), 2009: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Reggie Rock Bythewood, Cheo Hodari Coker

Director: George Tillman Jr.

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to leave his wife and child.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Jamal Woolard's acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of childhood/young adult scenes throughout.

Fail of freestyle rap scene.

Fail of all mother/son scenes throughout.

Pre-internet hip hop creation. Nice.

Fail of sex scene.

Fail of interrogation scene.

Fail of all rap performance scenes throughout.

Black empowerment at its best. Remember there are limited options for Black people to get out of the projects. Music, sports, religion.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

I only include this movie because it's a biographical movie. Movie is just about BIG on top and meeting other people. That’s it.

How did this movie get a wide release?

The Fourth Kind, 2009: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Olatunde Osunsanmi

Director: Olatunde Osunsanmi

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Something wants to haunt a town.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of real film footage scenes throughout. Just doesn't work.

Good mother daughter scenes throughout.

Fail of house shooting scene.

Another Mothman Prophecies style of movie. Sigh.

Beautiful aerial shots throughout.

Lovely Illuminati symbolism.

Well done with the owl eyes. Non-conspiracy theorists wouldn't understand.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, 2009: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Danny McBride, Dirk Blackman, Howard McCain

Director: Patrick Tatopoulos

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A vampire wants to create a werewolf race of slaves.

Story: Relationships, Character, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Vampires creating werewolves as slaves to guard vampires during the day. What could go wrong?

Decent father daughter scene.

Decent council scene.

Good sex scene.

Fail of forest battle scene.

Decent whipping scene.

Good jail talk scene.

Humans serving vampires. Lovely.

Fail of human peasant court scene.

Fail of Lucian backstory. Doesn't make sense.

Fail of father realization scene.

Good execution scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

It had the potential to pass with a better writer.

Saw VI, 2009: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan

Director: Kevin Greutert

Dialogue: Pass

"When you're killing me, you look at me." Good line and delivery.

Plot: A man wants to kidnap and test people.

Story: Survival, Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Tobin Bell.

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent insurance executive scenes throughout.

Excellent flashback scenes throughout.

Excellent writing.

Good investigative scenes throughout.

Excellent survival scenes throughout.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

One of the best movies of all time.

Did You Hear About the Morgans? 2009: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Marc Lawrence

Director: Marc Lawrence

Dialogue: Pass

"Just do it, be a man." Decent line, good delivery.

Plot: A man wants to kill witnesses.

Story: Relationships, Survival

Characters: Fail

Excellent female assistant character.

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Hugh Grant as usual.

Fail of Sarah Jessica Parker's acting. Not the right actress for the role.

Comments:

Good intro. Jokes.

Fail of apartment real estate scene.

Against breast cancer. Jokes.

Fail of dinner scene.

Fail of street talk scene.

Hey, Michael Kelly from House of Cards. F*ck me. Nice to see you.

Fail of plot. Too stupid.

Fail of apartment scene.

Fail of writing.

He didn't bother to shoot him in the head. Really?

Fail of all investigative scenes throughout.

Mary Steenburgen from Back to the Future. Wow. What a blast from the past.

Fail of witness protection scenes throughout.

Fail of bear scene.

Good kiss taser scene. Best scene of the movie, but not enough to pass.

Nice to see American women with their tasers. In Canada almost any weapon is illegal for a woman to carry. Canada prefers their women to be victims instead of empowered.

But even if a Canadian woman did carry it and use it to defend herself against a rapist, the courts would probably find in favor of the rapist for excessive damage. The Canadian justice system at its best.

Fail of cow milking scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Transylmania, 2009: FAIL

Unknown (most likely Epic Commercial Failure)

Writer: Patrick Casey, Worm Miller

Director: David Hillenbrand, Scott Hillenbrand

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to kill vampires.

Story: Relationships, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Good intro.

Asian men and sex dolls. Yup, sounds about right.

Fail of most parody scenes. Weak characters and acting.

Fail of backstory scenes.

Fail of train death scene.

Always nice to see the token Asian guy. Well done Hollywood.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Fail of almost all scenes.

Fail of writing, directing, acting.

Gives the guy a pair of denim jeans. Jokes.

Fail of all vampire hunter scenes throughout.

Good skull drum scene.

Fail of mad scientist scene.

Fail of all vampire scenes throughout.

Trying to get the girl's bike. Jokes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $1 million proves that God DOES exist.

Halloween II, 2009: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Rob Zombie

Director: Rob Zombie

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of highway visualization scene.

Good hospital scene.

Some victims are destroyed for life while others use their trauma to overcome and succeed in life.

Fail of therapy scenes throughout.

Clam digger. Jokes.

Fail of working scene.

Good lecture scene.

Fail of visualization scenes throughout.

Hey, the guy from Batman Begins (Mark Boone Junior).

Fail of truck field scene.

Good outside strip club scene.

Decent strip club scene.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

G-Force, 2009: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Cormac Wibberley, Marianne Wibberley

Director: Hoyt H. Yeatman Jr.

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: US govt wants to shut down a program.

Story: Ambition, Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Good voice acting but not enough to pass for live action.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Cryogenic refrigerator. Oh dear.

Decent infiltration scene.

Fail of FBI scenes throughout.

Ah…the usual Disney crap. Oh dear.

Fail of most scenes.

Good child scenes.

Good plot but fail in solution.

Weak human characters throughout.

How much was the music clearance bill for this movie?

Fail of robotic fight scene.

Fail of FBI raid scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

$150 million production budget. Really? Good thing that Disney can afford an almost infinite amount of losses.

Everybody's Fine, 2009: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Kirk Jones

Director: Kirk Jones

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Kids don't want to meet up with their father.

Story: Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of grocery store scene.

Fail of doctor scene.

Fail of train scene.

Fail of street scene.

Fail of diner scene.

Boring house scenes throughout.

Ah…the sad life of middle class to rich White people. Cry me a river.

Boring scenes throughout.

Live instrumental recording. That still exists? Joking.

Good recording father son talk scene.

Fail of airport scene.

Fail of childhood explanation scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

It was a boring start and middle but it picked up in the end. But not enough to pass.

The movie shouldn't have cost $21 million to make. Too many A-listers refused to take a pay cut.

Madea Goes to Jail, 2009: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Tyler Perry

Director: Tyler Perry

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to get married.

Story: Relationships, Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of court scene.

Fail of car scene.

Fail of diner scene.

Rudy Huxtable (Keshia Knight Pulliam). I thought that was you.

Fail of house party scene.

Fail of prostitute scene.

Fail of night scene.

Fail of car rage scene. Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of Dr. Phil scene.

Fail of interview scene.

K-mart. Wow, that still exists?

Fail of parking lot scene.

Fail of police scene. Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of bench talk scene.

Fail of jail scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Dance Flick, 2009: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Keenen Ivory Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Craig Wayans, Damien Dante Wayans

Director: Damien Dante Wayans

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A boss wants to collect money.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Right in the ass. Jokes.

Good team scene.

Suit collection. Jokes.

Fail of dance ending scene.

Good train scene.

Good home scene.

Good car accident scene.

Free gas. Jokes.

Fail of audition scene.

Fail of train scene.

Fail of Mary Poppins parody scene.

Good blind boy car scene.

Good high school teacher scene.

Decent class scene.

5 weeks on non union. Jokes.

Good ballet instructor scene.

Fail of basketball scene.

Fail of cafeteria scene.

Good gay musical scene.

Good ballet jump scene.

Fail of club scene. The music takes me back to my clubbing days at Helium and G-Spot in Toronto. Good times.

Fail of dance teaching scene.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of boss musical scene.

"Making me moist in my own gym." Jokes. Remind me of the Trudeau gaffe.

Justin Trudeau Said The Word "Moistly" During A Coronavirus Update And Immediately Regretted It

Fail of police scene.

Fail of black snake moan parody scene.

What was the music clearance bill for this movie?

Fail of park scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

It's debatable, but more failure's than good scenes.

5 writers. Way too many cooks in the kitchen.

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant, 2009: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Paul Weitz, Brian Helgeland

Director: Paul Weitz

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Parents don't want their son to hang out with another boy.

Story: Ambition, Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Hey, the guy from Hunger Games (Josh Hutcherson).

Fail of boys friend scene.

Fail of parents scenes throughout.

Fail of class scenes throughout.

Fail of play scene.

A lot of big names in this movie.

Book of souls. Oh dear.

Fail of vampire talk scene.

Fail of car scene.

Fail of new vampire scenes throughout. Too stupid.

Fail of graveyard scene fight.

Fail of circus scenes throughout.

Fail of Mr. Tiny scenes throughout.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Powerfully dumb movie.

Taking Woodstock, 2009: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: James Schamus

Director: Ang Lee

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A bank wants to foreclose on a business.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of bank scene.

Oh dear, naked hippies. Sigh.

Fail of solution.

Boring scenes throughout.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Liev Schreiber as a cross dresser. Jokes.

Fail of naked stage scene.

Fail of van sex scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Complete fail of writing.

Boring and stupid scenes.

$30 million production budget. Universal Pictures has money to burn.

The Informant, 2009: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Scott Z. Burns

Director: Steven Soderbergh

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A company wants to fix the price of a commodity.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Matt Damon's acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of most office scenes.

Boring office scenes throughout.

Fail of narration throughout.

Fail of couple scenes throughout.

Fail of FBI scenes throughout.

Fail of tone of movie.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Complete fail of writing.

Terrible movie. Weak characters. But it's based on a true story so...

Aliens in the Attic, 2009: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Mark Burton, Adam F. Goldberg

Director: John Schultz

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A family wants their son to do better in school.

Story: Family, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent car scene.

Ah…the sad life of middle class White people.

Good paintball scene.

Fail of roof scene.

Fail of alien scenes throughout.

Stuck in a slinkie. Jokes.

Fail of grandma scene.

Fail of police scene.

Fail of most scenes.

Decent grandma boyfriend fight scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Fail of writing.

The Wrestler, 2009: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Robert Siegel

Director: Darren Aronofsky

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A wrestler wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of jump in time.

Good kids scene.

Wrestlers bleeding. Lovely.

Fail of strip club scenes throughout.

Ah…the sad life of the wrestler.

Stupid scenes throughout. And I use to be a wrestling fan...when I was child.

Fail of most scenes.

Fail of cinematography.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Fail of writing and directing.

$6 million production budget. It shows.

Zombieland, 2009: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick

Director: Ruben Fleischer

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Zombies want to take over the world.

Story: Survival, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good mom SUV scene.

Good narration throughout.

Fail of gas station scene.

Fail of standoff scene.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of house girl scene.

Manwich. Jokes. I used to eat that as a child.

Fail of grocery store scene.

Fail of sister scene throughout.

Fail of most scenes.

Fail of driving scenes throughout. It had potential though.

Fail of tour guide store scene.

Fail of Bill Murray scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Fail of writing. Too stupid.

Will Hollywood ever stop doing zombie apocalypse movies? Probably not.

My Bloody Valentine 3D, 2009: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Zane Smith, Todd Farmer, John Beaird

Director: Patrick Lussier

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A murderer wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Killed them all. What? Yah right.

Hey, the guy from Dawson's Creek (Kerr Smith).

Fail of party scene.

A lot of senseless violence.

Is there a story to this garbage movie?

Fail of diner scene.

Fail of cabin scene.

Fail of talk scene.

Fail of motel scene.

Fail of all kill scenes throughout.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of cinematography throughout.

Fail of all scenes throughout.

Fail of police scenes throughout.

Fail of writing and directing.

Good grocery store scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Post Grad, 2009: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Kelly Fremon

Director: Vicky Jenson

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Employers don't want to hire a recent college grad.

Story: Ambition, Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Alexis Bledel from Gilmore Girls. Nice to see you.

Fail of speech scene.

Ah…the sad life of the middle class White girl. Lovely.

Boring interview scene.

Fail of store scene.

Fail of neighbor scene.

Yes, a ditch is more greener.

Oh…it's status symbol. Lovely.

Boring home scenes throughout.

Concerned he's weird. Jokes.

Fail of cat death scene.

Screwing the neighbor’s daughter. Well done.

Gotta love liberal feminism.

Fail of production scene.

Fail of police scene.

Excellent ice cream scene. That's putting in effort.

Boring office scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Sunshine Cleaning, 2009: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Megan Holley

Director: Christine Jeffs

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to kill himself.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Amy Adams.

Good acting by Emily Blunt.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent motel sex scenes throughout.

Decent school scene.

A school supports drugging children. I hope there's a special place in hell for such people.

Decent diner school.

Good first cleaning scene.

Decent sales scene.

Good mattress scene.

Good cleaning scenes throughout.

Good elevator scene.

Good flashback scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid writing and acting.

Pandorum, 2009: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Travis Milloy

Director: Christian Alvart

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Humans want to colonize a planet.

Story: Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good pod scene.

Fail of initial wake scene.

Fail of vent scene.

Fail of plot. Understandable, but...

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Hey, the guy from Boondock Saints (Norman Reedus). Nice to see you.

Fail of creature scenes throughout.

Underground hunters. Oh dear.

Fail of fight scenes throughout.

Fail of story scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Whip It, 2009: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Shauna Cross

Director: Drew Barrymore

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A girl wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Interesting solution.

Weird sport. People actually watch this?

A sport where you can elbow people. Oh dear.

Fail of training scenes throughout.

Fail of home scenes throughout.

Fail of official skating scenes throughout.

Fail of writing.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of school scene.

Good swim scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Maybe it could have worked with a better writer, but I don't think so.

The Stepfather, 2009: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Joseph S. Cardone

Director: Nelson McCormick

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to kill families.

Story: Ambition, Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good time-lapse scenes of FBI talk scene.

Good grocery store scene.

Good backyard scene.

Ah…trusting liberal women. Sigh.

Good basement scene.

Good son grip scene. Nicely done.

Good family scenes throughout.

Good diner scene.

Good confrontation scene.

A bit too unbelievable with the lack of identity, but I'll let it go.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Good acting, writing, directing.

The Last House on the Left, 2009: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Adam Alleca, Carl Ellsworth

Director: Dennis Iliadis

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Serial killers want to kill people.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of home scene.

Dumb liberal women so trusting. Oh dear.

Fail of smoking scene.

Fail of car scene.

Fail of kill scene.

Disturbing rape scene. Was it really necessary to be that graphic?

Plot is too stupid. Idiots raping and killing. As if police don't have a profile of them.

As if she could have survived. She wouldn't have the will left to survive.

Fail of family revenge scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending, but stupid.

Horror movies and rape scenes. Disgusting. And yet the audiences love it. Disturbing.

Jennifer's Body, 2009: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Diablo Cody

Director: Karyn Kusama

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A girl wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Decent school scene.

Good room scene.

Good bar scene.

Liberal sluts looking for a good time. Oh dear.

Good night kitchen scene.

Fail of flashback scene.

Good football guy scene.

Good forest scene.

Good cinematography throughout.

Decent school scenes throughout.

Good house/sex scene.

Good car night scene.

Good kiss scene.

Fail of forest scene.

Good swim scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending, but good enough to pass.

Good writing and directing.

I Love You Beth Cooper, 2009: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Larry Doyle

Director: Chris Columbus

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A guy wants to be with a girl.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of graduation scene.

Fail of flashback scene.

Don't worry, nerds like him will most likely be a millionaire and eventually get the socialite wife. Either that or he'll become an incel.

Why incels are a 'real and present threat' for Canadians

Why the Government Should Fund Research on Incel Culture

Fail of home scenes throughout. Too stupid, and not in the good way. Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of driving school scene.

Fail of adventure scenes throughout.

Fail of cow scene. Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of mansion party scene.

Towel whipped their balls. Jokes.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Fail of writing. Good directing though.

Friday the 13th, 2009: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Damian Shannon, Mark Swift

Director: Marcus Nispel

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Someone wants to kill young adults.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good night scene.

Good death scenes throughout.

Good cabin scene.

Good convenience store scene.

Good cinematography throughout.

Good water scene.

Good capture scenes.

Good sex scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Good writing and directing.

Fighting, 2009: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Robert Munic, Dito Montiel

Director: Dito Montiel

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Ambition, Relationships

Story: A man wants a better life.

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Fail of Terrence Howard's acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of diner scene.

Fail of pitch scene.

Fail of street talk scenes.

Fail of cage fighting scenes throughout. Too stupid.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Boring scenes throughout. Fail of writing. Weak characters.

Fail of girl scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Orphan, 2009: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: David Leslie Johnson

Director: Jaume Collet-Serra

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A woman wants a bigger family.

Story: Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Isabelle Fuhrman. Wow. Fabulous.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good school scene.

Good story time scene.

Excellent class scene.

Good night scene.

Good bird scene.

Good tone to movie.

Good directing and writing.

Good playground scene.

Good grocery scene.

Good nun talk scene.

Good road scene.

Good exacto knife scene.

Good husband wife talk scenes throughout.

Good parking accident scene.

Good miscarriage talk scene.

Good tree house scene.

Good hospital scene.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

Miss March, 2009: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Trevor Moore, Zach Cregger

Director: Trevor Moore, Zach Cregger

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A guy wants to get married before sex.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of speech scene.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of hospital scene.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of car scene.

Fail of gas station scene.

Fail of most scenes. Complete fail of writing.

How did this movie get a wide release?

I don't think the MeToo movement would approve of this movie.

Fail of car sex scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

The Collector, 2009: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Marcus Dunstan, Patrick Melton

Director: Marcus Dunstan

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Decent intro.

Fail of house renovation scene.

Fail of bowling scene.

Fail of limo scene.

Fail of break in scene.

That many traps. Really?

Fail of cinematography throughout.

Fail of tone of movie.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of all death scenes throughout.

One cop. Really? Yah right.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Complete fail of writing and acting.

Powerfully stupid movie.

Sorority Row, 2009: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Josh Stolberg, Pete Goldfinger

Director: Stewart Hendler

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A sorority wants to play a prank on a guy.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Good intro.

Look at all the empowered women. Good old feminism.

Roofie sex approved by women. Oh dear.

Good car scene.

As if a prank could go that far.

Fail of prank scene. Powerfully stupid.

Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Decent grad scene.

Good stage scene.

Good therapist scene.

Fail of therapist kill scene.

Good woman kill scene.

Fail of shower scene.

Decent show kill scene.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of guy death scene.

Good street scene.

Fail of guy death scene.

Fail of kitchen death scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Next Day Air, 2009: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Blair Cobbs

Director: Benny Boom

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Guys want to deliver drugs.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of trunk scene.

One of those stupid comedies. Oh dear.

Fail of bank scene.

Hey, the guy from Scrubs (Donald Faison).

Fail of office scene.

Fail of flashback scenes throughout.

Fail of apartment scenes.

Fail of all scenes. Too stupid.

Complete fail of writing.

Fail of slow motion scenes.

Fail of tone to movie.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Terrible movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it only made $10 million proves that God DOES exist.

Kudos to the skinny production budget. But you should have spent it on a better writer.

Confessions of a Shopaholic, 2009: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Tim Firth, Tracey Jackson

Director: Paul John Hogan

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A woman wants to buy things she can't afford.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Ah…the sad life of middle class White people. Cry me a river.

Capitalism at its best. If you believe in climate change, you can't support consumerism or capitalism. You must adopt a life of minimalism, live in a condo/apartment, drive electric cars or use public transit, be a vegan, and have no kids. If you can do that, I’ll listen to your arguments.

Decent office scene.

Terrible dialogue.

What was the music clearance bill for this movie?

Good mannequin scene.

Fail of interview scene.

Fail of apartment scenes throughout.

Fail of office scenes throughout.

Fail of speech scene.

Fighting over fashion items. And people wonder why extraterrestrials won't come down and talk to them.

Fail of family scenes throughout.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of group scene.

Fail of all scenes.

Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Terrible writing.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

Love Happens, 2009: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Brandon Camp, Mike Thompson

Director: Brandon Camp

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of speech scene.

Fail of roof scene.

Good father-in-law scene.

Fail of lobby talk scene.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Boring dating scenes throughout.

Fail of self-help scenes throughout.

Fail of house scene.

Boring scenes throughout, aside from the angry father.

Shouldn't have been a comedy. Should have just went with the man and angry father plot.

Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

I Can Do Bad All By Myself, 2009: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Tyler Perry

Director: Tyler Perry

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Kids want to steal from seniors.

Story: Family, Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of night scene.

Black parenting at its best.

Fail of morning scene.

Fail of bar scenes throughout.

Fail of kids woman scene.

Fail of most scenes.

Boring scenes throughout.

Ah yes…the music will save their souls. Sigh.

Fail of park scene.

Ah yes…only Jesus can save your soul. Oh please. If that was the case, Black Lives Matter wouldn't exist.

What happened to letting the bad guys "get theirs in hell." I guess not.

Fail of fight scene.

Fail of bath scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Are Tyler Perry movies supposed to be comedies? I can't tell anymore.

But as long as his movies keep taking in $30-70 million, he'll keep making them. Sigh.