Hollywood Movie Review Series:

*Movies are in no particular order. Please use Crtl F on your keyboard to find a particular movie. Movies that got a wide release in the year after their first screening are listed in the next year. For example, 300 (2006) is listed in 2007 because it only got a wide release in 2007.

*Don't worry about spoilers. You can read the review of any movie without being afraid of spoilers and enjoy the movie if you watch it. I intentionally made sure not to ruin a movie by revealing a hidden plot or hidden climax scene. I simply pass or fail each scene and comment on them.

Pompeii, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Janet Scott Batchler, Lee Batchler, Michael Robert Johnson

Director: Paul W. S. Anderson

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A family wants an arraigned marriage for their daughter.

Story: Purpose, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Weak secondary characters, especially mother.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Emily Browning’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Didn't like reading the narration. Maybe if it was a voice it would be better.

A better title would have been "The Horse Whisperer."

Good main group fight scene.

Good special effects.

Weak scenes throughout. Fail of writing.

The volcano took too long, dragged out a bit.

Fail of all action scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

The Purge Anarchy, 2014: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: James Demonaco

Director: James Demonaco

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: US govt wants to kill low-income people.

Story: Ethics, Ambition

Characters: Pass

Excellent main and secondary characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good various people scenes throughout.

Good parking lot scene.

Good apartment scene.

The couple couldn’t see the trap? Just to note, a Black couple wouldn’t be dumb enough to buy things a few hours before the purge. They’ll have all the sh*t squared up a month or week prior.

Good initial purge scenes.

Very true about the rich wanting the poor to die, but…

Good apartment scenes.

Excellent street/truck scene. The music really adds a good layer to it. Kudos.

Good car talk scenes throughout.

One woman plague. Jokes.

Good street scenes throughout.

Good subway scene.

Decent apartment scene.

Good buying scene. That’s the real way the world works underneath the bullsh*t layers of subterfuge.

I guess that’s one way to get rid of visible minorities. Good hunting scenes.

Excellent pre-climax scenes.

Decent climax scene.

Good ending.

The fact that this movie made so much money at the box office is disturbing. If America ever legalized murder, remember to…first kill the Wall Street executives who stole your money. And then kill the insurance executives that denied you and your loved ones coverage when you needed it. And then kill the Vatican pedophile religious officials who are secretly followers of Satan.

Fury, 2014: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: David Ayer

Director: David Ayer

Dialogue: Pass

Excellent dialogue.

Plot: Nazis want to invade neighboring countries.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting all around.

Comments:

Good intro.

Excellent military prep scenes.

Excellent battle scenes throughout.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Excellent tank battle scenes throughout.

Excellent sound effects.

Rookie is a bit too ignorant.

US military soldiers screwing women like they own them. Ah…the spoils of war. The scum of the Earth. Just die already.

Excellent breakfast scene.

Excellent writing, directing, cinematography, acting.

Excellent climax scene.

Good ending.

Edge of Tomorrow, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Christopher McQuarrie, Jez Butterworth, John-Henry Butterworth

Director: Doug Liman

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Extraterrestrials want to destroy humanity.

Story: Survival

Characters: Fail

Main woman character didn't fit.

Tom Cruise’s character could have been done differently.

Excellent army drill sergeant character.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Everything is too stupid. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Tied with duct tape. Jokes.

Rolled under truck and squashed to death. Jokes.

This film could have been good if there was a real story attached to the plot.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Lucy, 2014: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Luc Besson

Director: Luc Besson

Dialogue: Pass (barely)

Plot: Drug lords want to deliver a new drug.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro, but junk writing.

While the drug transport mishap is believable, everything else isn’t.

Everything is too unbelievable. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

The brief cop romance was not needed.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

I'm sure that many scientists and Big Pharma were salivating as they watched this movie.

A Million Ways to Die in the West, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild

Director: Seth MacFarlane

Dialogue: Fail

Horrible jokes. Oh dear god.

Plot: A girl wants to break up with her boyfriend.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Seth McFarlane’s acting. Just terrible.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of couple talk scene. Wasted comedy potential.

Alex Borstein, always a pleasure.

Prostituting to pay the bills. No one said life was fair.

Would have been more funny if the prostitute called the other woman a whore.

Good bar talk scene.

Good fart scene.

Excellent mayor/wolves scene.

Fail of house/talk scene.

Fail of bandits gun scene.

Fail door/talk scene.

Wait till married. Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of ice scene. Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of church scene.

Would be nice if they played Kanye West’s Gold Digger for his ex when he was in the shop.

Fail of shop scene.

Fail of bar fight scene.

Fail of outdoor talk scene.

Fail of every scene. Oh dear god.

Fail of fair scenes. "A dollar." Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of pot scene.

Fail of Bill Maher scene.

Almost every scene is garbage. Fail of writing.

Fail of bed scene.

Fail of sh*t scene.

Ryan Reynolds. How? Why? How?

Fail of bar scene.

Firecracker in roast beef. Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of Native American scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending. Jamie Foxx. Why?

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

Exodus: Gods and Kings, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Adam Cooper, Bill Collage, Jeffrey Caine, Steven Zaillian

Director: Ridley Scott

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Egyptians want to enslave Hebrews.

Story: Purpose, Survival

Characters: Fail

Forced emotional development of Moses. Doesn’t make sense.

No emotional development of Ramses. He's the worst character.

Acting: Fail

Complete failure of all main and supporting actors. Oh dear god.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Where have I see the actor who plays Ramses before (Joel Edgerton). Ah yes, Zero Dark Thirty.

White actors playing Egyptian rulers. Well done Hollywood.

Fail of battle scene.

Fail of all Ramses scenes throughout. The man looks terrible.

Interesting how these movies allow White actors to talk trash about Jews. Similar in concept to movies where White people can talk trash about Black people. You see what I’m getting at?

Fail of slave talk scene.

Fail of secret meeting scene.

Fail of king scene.

Fail of all Moses scenes. Combined with fail of all Ramses scenes, that’s the entire movie.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing, directing, acting, music.

Fail of well scene.

God’s mountain. Oh dear.

Fail of vision scene.

Fail of barn scene.

Fail of training scenes.

Fail of blood river scene.

God is mad that the revolution is taking so long. Oh dear god (forgive the pun).

Fail of plague scenes.

Fail of threat scene.

Fail of desert scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $250 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Plot was moving too fast. Movie should have been two parts.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Josh Appelbaum, Andre Nemec, Evan Daugherty

Director: Jonathan Liebesman

Dialogue: Josh Appelbaum, André Nemec, Evan Daugherty

Plot: A terrorist wants to release a bioweapon in NYC.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters. Oh dear god.

Acting: Fail

Fail of acting overall.

Comments:

Good animated comic intro. Excellent sword credit shot.

Beginning shaky camera scene didn't work.

A police department has a major private benefactor. Umm…what?

Odd that the foot clan is already a major player in crime at the outset.

Fail of music content.

Learning ninjutsu through a book. Seriously?

How does Splinter know of Shredder and his history?

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

The only good scene was the elevator music skit. The rest is garbage.

Shredder costume way too overdone. Fail of art department, which is really a failure of directing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $300 million proves that God does NOT exist.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Adam Cozad, David Koepp

Director: Kenneth Branagh

Dialogue: Fail

Too many corny spy lines.

"Think he'll ever walk without the crutches?" "Maybe, if he decides he has somewhere to go." Decent line and delivery.

Plot: Terrorists want to destroy America.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Chris Pine is the only decent actor.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent helicopter scene.

Decent physical therapy scene.

Decent rain speech scene.

Decent office scene.

"No one understands the data except you." Get the f*ck outta here.

Decent forest scene.

Fail of airport/hotel scene. Doesn’t make sense.

Fail of phone scene.

Fail of bench scene.

Yah…no one’s dumping US dollars.

Fail of church scene.

Fail of room scene.

Crazy girlfriend comes to see him. Sure, that’s normal.

And the plot thickens.

Decent car scene.

Fail of car scene.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of infiltration scene.

Fail of attack scene.

Fail of chase scene.

Fail of plane realization scene. Too unbelievable. To be fair, I’d choose that target as well if I was a terrorist.

Decent climax scene.

Good ending.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2, 2014: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, Jeff Pinkner

Director: Marc Webb

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue.

"I was cleaning the chimney." "We have no chimney." "Whaaaat." Decent line, excellent delivery.

Plot: Someone wants to kill a researcher.

Story: Character, Relationships, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters except Spiderman.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Andrew Garfield's acting.

Fail of Jamie Foxx's acting.

Fail of Dane DeHaan's acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro plane scene.

Fail of city battle scene.

Citizens cheering like it's a battle royale in Time Square. Really?

Good graduation scene.

Excellent convenience store scene.

Converting aging hydro stations into towers. I'll let that slide.

One private company powering a city's energy grid. Ah…the evils of capitalism and corrupt govts.

Fail of lobby scene and future possibility scene.

Fail of hospital scene.

Fail of tech scene.

Fail of board scene.

Good friendship scenes.

Fail of music content throughout. Complete garbage.

Good couple scene.

And he's on every video billboard. Really?

And the crowds cheering for every action. Oh dear god.

Fail of NYC night battle scene.

Fail of writing, directing, music, characters, acting. Nice special effects though.

Good room scene.

USB and holographic touch screen tech. Well done.

Good garage scene.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of blood transfusion plot.

Good office romance scene.

Fail of prison scene.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of Harry house scene. Oh dear god, it's terrible.

Fail of secret research room.

Interesting genetic/destiny realizations. Illuminati bloodline program. Lovely.

Fail of jail scene.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of transformation scene.

Decent climax scene.

Decent airline scene.

Fail of ending.

A robot rhino. Oh dear god.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $700 million proves that God does NOT exist.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

X-Men: Days of Future Past, 2014: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Simon Kinberg

Director: Bryan Singer

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Sentinels want to wipe out mutants.

Story: Survival, Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Peter Dinklage as usual.

Excellent acting by James McAvoy as usual.

Excellent acting by Michael Fassbender as usual.

Comments:

Excellent intro future. Very well done.

Cliché solution, but…

Excellent music content throughout.

This is the composer you want for your blockbuster movie.

Excellent apartment fight scene.

Good court scene.

Fail of Vietnam scene.

Excellent mansion scene.

Excellent office scene.

Excellent elevator scene.

Excellent initial kitchen scene.

Excellent quicksilver pentagon slow motion scene. Very well done.

Excellent cinematography.

Good plane scene.

One of the best X-Men movies.

Excellent Paris boardroom scene.

Excellent future flashback scene with excellent music. Very well done.

Thinking out loud, shouldn't there be a mutant who can control plastic? Just sayin.’

Good White House scene.

Good train station scene.

Good mansion scene.

Good lab scene.

Ah…the insatiable drive for scientists to study anything and everything with their relative ethics dependent on the current era. And public wonders why special people don’t want to be found.

Excellent past/future flashback scenes.

Good train scene.

Good airport scene.

Excellent future attack.

Excellent climax past/future scene. Very well done.

Excellent ending.

Excellent acting, writing, directing, music. But I can’t place it in one of the best movies of all time because of the weak plot device.

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies, 2014: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Peter Jackson, Guillermo del Toro

Director: Peter Jackson

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Orks want to take control of a mountain.

Story: Ethics, Ambition, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good fire burning intro.

Only one man with a spear can save everyone. Sigh.

Over his child's shoulder. I never thought of that. Kudos.

Decent recovery scenes.

Excellent wizard elf fight.

Fail of blue elf queen scene.

Ah…blaming greed on dragons and gold, when it's really the fault of the king.

Decent negotiation castle scene.

Fail of Bilbo/Thorian scene.

Fail of elf guy/elf girl scene.

Good exit of fortress scene.

This movie is the only one of the series that's salvageable.

That's a nice elf army to have. Highly skilled and properly trained for war. Maybe the Canadian govt can develop them in secret. Ready just when we need them.

More rational for Orks to wait for other sides to kill each others.

Beautiful wide aerial shots of army.

Good rolling kill of goblin. Well done.

Fail of Thorin reflection/transformation scene.

Fail of greedy gold man scene. Wasted comedy potential.

Battle scenes are much better than previous ones.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

4 writers and passed. Kudos.

Transformers: Age of Extinction, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Ehren Kruger

Director: Michael Bay

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue.

Plot: US govt wants to create their own Transformer army.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Fail of mad scientist character.

Fail of teenage girl character.

Fail of boyfriend character.

Fail of CIA director character.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Nicola Peltz’s acting.

Good voice acting by John Goodman.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Fail of arctic scenes. Too stupid.

Fail of theatre scene.

Good quick recap.

Decent meeting scene.

Decent farm scenes.

Fail of autobot hunting scene.

Fail of meeting scene.

Fail of farm scene.

US black ops threaten to murder a teenaged girl at her house in broad daylight. Really? The world must have really collapsed.

Fail of farm/black ops scene.

Fail of car scene.

40 minutes in and I've only seen one Black guy and one Asian woman for a few seconds.

And no, the Asian autobot doesn't count.

Fail of hideaway scene.

Texas dating law. Really?

Fail of truck scene.

Fail of all mad scientist scenes. Powerfully stupid.

Fail of all science labs scenes. Complete failure.

Just a note, when autobots break in, no screaming is occurring but glass is falling. I don't understand what's happening here.

Good highway scene.

Interesting alien bounty hunter ship. At least nothing goes to waste.

Fail of all ship scene after humans get on board. Good bumblebee scene though.

Decent slow motion battle scenes throughout.

Doesn't make sense that alien robot bounty hunter can't tell a piece of the ship has detached.

Ah…atheist scientists thinking that humans/intelligent life forms are nothing more than the sum of their parts.

Fail of car and phone scene.

Fail of cheesy music content.

Just for the future, you might want to think of creating a cloaking device for ships.

Clearly, these Transformers movies are bottom of the barrel for the audiences at the lowest common denominator.

Fail of office scene.

Autobots keep questioning whether it's their fight. Really?

Fail of pre-climax scenes.

And the Tetris style of transforming doesn't work. Stick to the classics.

Fail of Prime fight scene. I don't feel he gave the creature a fair choice. He was under duress. It wouldn't hold up in the courts.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

All other Transformers movies could have worked if there was a consistent storyline instead of separate movies being made up every few years. The storyline could have been excellent if it was consistent from the beginning.

Divergent, 2014: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Evan Daugherty, Vanessa Taylor

Director: Neil Burger

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Govt wants to eliminate a group of people.

Story: Character, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of description of all groups.

Fail of historical explanation. Too stupid. You might as well separate by races. But that would have been too much for the audience.

A psyc test that determines your role. If the Illuminati gets their way, that will be coming in the next few decades.

Fail of ceremony scene.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Training scenes look communist to me. Oh, sorry, that's how all militaries are trained.

Fail of most training scenes.

Hey, the guy that played the son in a Die Hard movie (Jai Courtney).

Lovely paintball sessions. But can you get to the main issues. Already 1 hour into it.

The term represents an independent thinker. That’s powerfully stupid.

Fail of killing scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made almost $300 million proves that God does NOT exist.

300: Rise of an Empire, 2014: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Kurt Johnstad, Zack Snyder

Director: Noam Murro

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of most dialogue throughout. Just terrible.

"…and let it be shown, that we chose to die on our feet rather than live on our knees." Excellent line, fail in delivery.

"Do not forget who put the crown on your childish head." Decent line, fail in delivery.

Plot: Persian empire wants to invade Greece.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Eva Green.

Fail of Sullivan Stapleton’s acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent shots of beginning wood building. Wow.

Excellent slow motion beginning shot of axe slice.

Excellent slow motion fighting shots.

Excellent cinematography all around.

A bit too much narration but understandable.

Good battle scenes throughout.

Not as good as original 300 but pretty good.

Excellent backstory scene.

Odd that he was White, and now he's Black/Brown. But I’ll let it go.

Fail of speech scene.

Good Spartan training scene.

Fail of man/woman talk scene.

Good spy ship scene.

Excellent woman backstory. Would have liked to see more of her training.

Fail of men gathering talk scene.

Excellent ship battle scenes.

Excellent guard/sex scene. Very well done. Can't get it on YoutTube.

Fail of man/queen scene.

The dialogue is terrible, but the action scenes are enough to pass it.

Fail of speech scene.

Good climax scene.

A horse on a boat. Well done.

We can do without the sh*tty battle speeches.

Decent ending.

Noah, 2014: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Darren Aronofsky, Ari Handel

Director: Darren Aronofsky

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: God wants to wipe out humanity.

Story: Purpose, Survival, Family

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Emma Watson.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Biblical and ancient movies are always tough with audiences.

Excellent landscape shots.

Fail of characters, too unbelievable.

Rock people. Seriously? The CGI is garbage.

God casts down angels for helping humanity. Really?

Fail of the fallen wicked people scenes throughout.

Good sex scene.

Fail of most ship scenes.

Fail of time-lapse scenes.

Good son/bad guy scene.

So...God is a psychopath. Oh dear.

Movie is beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Peter Craig, Danny Strong

Director: Francis Lawrence

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Govt wants to control and kill the people.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Survival, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Introduction psychosis doesn't make sense. Her mental state is dependent on a man. I don't think that feminists would approve.

Fail of all rebel scenes.

Propaganda to instill hope in people. Oh dear. That's a good point though. Both sides of a debate in the real world use propaganda to justify their actions.

Yes, you're walking on human remains. Get over it.

Fail of all media propaganda scenes. Too stupid.

Good brainwashing scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Good strangulation/confinement scene.

Fail of ending speech.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

The Maze Runner, 2014: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Noah Oppenheim, Grant Pierce Myers, T.S. Nowlin

Director: Wes Ball

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Something wants to kill a group of humans.

Story: Survival

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Dylan O'Brien.

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent Lord of the Flies (1954 book, 1990 movie) type of existence.

Excellent camp scenes throughout.

Excellent maze scenes throughout.

Excellent build up of mystery. Kudos to the writer.

Excellent climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Excellent character plots make up for the sh*tty ending.

3 writers and it passed. Impressive.

One of the best movies of all time.

John Wick, 2014: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Derek Kolstad

Director: Chad Stahelski

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Mafia want to assassinate a former hitman.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Fail of second in command character.

Fail of main mob boss character.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Dean Winters’ acting.

Comments:

Good intro.

Excellent funeral scene.

Good dog scene.

Good robbery scene.

Killing a dog. That's not cool.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Excellent cleaning scene.

Excellent music content throughout. This is the composer you want for your blockbuster movie.

Hey, the guy from Game of Thrones (Alfie Allen).

Good garage scene.

Fail of father/son/lawyer talk.

Excellent weapons retrieval.

Good house attack scene.

I don't want to see Keanu Reeves or William Dafoe ever advocate for gun control.

Excellent body disposal service.

Hotel? Oh dear.

Decent bar scene.

Hey, the guy from Mortal Kombat: Conquest the TV show (Daniel Bernhardt). You keep popping up in these small roles. Kudos.

Excellent bouncer scene.

Good club scenes throughout.

Good hotel assassination scene.

Good church scene.

Different style of subtitles. Interesting.

Hiding mafia stuff in a church basement. Yup, sounds about right.

Good confinement scene.

Good torture scene.

Decent climax scene.

Good ending.

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, 2014: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Frank Miller

Director: Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller

Dialogue: Fail

"Power is a fragile thing. It tolerates no threat.” Good line and delivery.

Plot: Various people want to kill people.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of all poker guy scenes throughout.

Terrible dialogue throughout.

Fail of all characters.

Excellent cinematography like the first one but fail of plot. Made up as it goes.

Fail of all crazy woman scenes throughout.

Fail of empowered prostitutes. Didn't work in this one.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of past Hardigan/Nancy scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

The Expendables 3, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Sylvester Stallone, Creighton Rothenberger, Katrin Benedikt

Director: Patrick Hughes

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue.

Plot: An arms dealer wants to sell weapons to terrorists.

Story: Ambition, Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Fail of Ford character.

Fail of supporting new crew characters.

Excellent Gibson character.

Fail of Banderas character.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Antonio Banderas’ acting.

Good acting by Mel Gibson as usual.

Comments:

Good train mission intro. Very well done.

Nice to see Wesley Snipes again. Excellent martial arts as usual.

Fail of plane scene.

Fail of docks/boat scene.

Mel Gibson. Nice to see you again.

Decent hospital scene.

Harrison Ford. Wow. What was the budget for this movie? $90 million. Some A-listers took big paycuts.

So many A-listers and it was still a Commercial Failure. Oh dear. Allow me to let you in on a Hollywood secret. Star power is diminishing in North America but growing overseas.

Fail of outside hospital scene.

Fail of museum scene.

Fail of bar scene.

The rest of movie is lazy writing. New team not necessary.

Fail of all recruitment scenes. Nice to see an empowered woman though.

Fail of plane scene.

Fail of planning scenes.

Fail of op scene.

Good van scene.

A head wound and still so fast on the draw. Really?

Good capture scene.

Fail of all Antonio Banderas scene.

Fail of plane scene.

Fail of phone plane scene.

Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of forest walk scene.

Fail of building rescue scene. Just garbage.

Conflict of old and new expendable crew feels forced/lazy writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely

Director: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A terrorist group wants to control humanity.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of hydra characters. They don't make sense.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Robert Redford’s acting.

Comments:

Decent intro.

A White man outpacing a Black man right from the start. Yup, sounds about right.

Decent boat scene attack.

Good fury scenes throughout.

Crumpled ones and loaded 22 magnum. And Hollywood/Democrats are asking for a repeal of the 2nd amendment in real life. Go f*ck yourself Hollywood.

Decent museum scene.

Fail of council scene.

Excellent attack scene. Very well done.

Good night chase scene.

Good hospital scene.

Excellent elevator scene. Best part of the movie.

Fail of council scene.

Excellent mall scene.

Fail of hydra scenes.

Infiltration too unbelievable. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of kitchen scene.

Fail of spilling the beans scene.

Decent street fight scene.

Fail of underground scenes.

Fail of experimentation scene.

Fail of shield HQ scene.

Good climax fight scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending hearing scene.

The Hundred Foot Journey, 2014: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Steven Knight

Director: Lasse Hallstrom

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A French restaurant owner wants to get rid of competition.

Story: Relationships, Ambition

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting throughout.

Excellent acting by Om Puri.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good customs scene.

Excellent van scene.

Excellent family scenes throughout.

Excellent characters.

Excellent pre-restaurant scenes throughout.

Excellent cooking scenes throughout.

Good date scenes throughout.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Ah…the burden of perfection.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Kingsman: The Secret Service, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn

Director: Matthew Vaughn

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A terrorist wants to destroy the Earth of most humans.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Samual L. Jackson's acting.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Fail of mind control scenes. Too unbelievable.

Fail of music content.

Decent capture fight scene.

Fail of all bad guy scenes throughout.

Fail of all intel scenes.

Fail of police scene.

Good bar fight scene.

Good house scene.

Fail of chase scene.

Fail of training scenes throughout.

Fail of tailor meeting scene.

Threatening to shoot a dog. Are you cracked?

Fail of crazy church scene.

Fail of pre-climax scene.

End party for the wealthy is too stupid.

Fail of climax fight scene.

Decent ending.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, 2014: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Mark Bomback, Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver

Director: Matt Reeves

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Humans want to survive under ape control.

Story: Survival, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro voice over scene.

Good ape development scenes throughout.

Odd that the idiot guy is with the crew.

Excellent scene where apes use human weapons against them.

Excellent internal ape political conflict.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Passed with 3 writers. Kudos.

Transcendence, 2014: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Jack Paglen

Director: Wally Pfister

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all Johnny Depp’s dialogue.

Plot: Anti-tech people want to kill AI researchers.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Doesn't make sense that tech security could be breached that easily.

Good use of digital connection scenes.

Creation of tech town doesn't make sense.

Fail of almost all scenes. Just terrible. Complete fail of writing.

Fail of climax battle scene.

Decent ending.

Silicon Valley must have orgasmed as they watched this movie.

Guardians of the Galaxy, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: James Gunn, Nicole Perlman

Director: James Gunn

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Various factions want a powerful orb to rule the universe.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all main characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Chris Pratt’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

This movie is a complete unbelievable train wreck of characters and almost every scene.

Fail of intro hospital childhood scene.

Nova faction looks like pompous know-it-alls.

No point to have a super hot looking girl to deliver message to nova leader. At 1:22:21 she gets 1 second of face time before she moves. What's going on here? At 1:27:02 the girl finally gets some face time. What? Why?

What about the humans on the Earth?

Complete fail of writing.

Movie is powerfully stupid and unbelievable.

Buyer scene is completely stupid.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

End scene could have been done better.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made almost $800 million proves that God does NOT exist.

RoboCop, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Joshua Zetumer, Edward Neumeier, Michael Miner, Nick Schenk

Director: Jose Padilha

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A corporation wants congress to approve military machines on the streets.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Samuel L. Jackson’s acting.

Fail of Jay Baruchel’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Jackson speech scenes throughout too stupid.

Locals embraced routine profiling. Really? Too unbelievable. But then again, it might be a norm in the future.

Hey, the guy from House of Cards and Altered Carbon (Joel Kinnaman). Nice to see you again.

Senate scene understandable.

Fail of all corporate scenes.

Good explosion scene.

Fail of writing and directing.

Good tech, but could have been done differently.

Fail of all research science tech scenes throughout.

Fail of all characters. Garbage writing.

Scientists not understanding the human condition. Sigh.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Ending speech too stupid.

The November Man, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Michael Finch, Karl Gajdusek

Director: Roger Donaldson

Dialogue: Pass

"You can be a human, or a killer or humans but not both." Good line, fail in delivery.

Plot: An assassin wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good escape scene. But it went downhill from there.

Good office scene.

Fail of bar kill scene.

Fail of most scenes with the young agent.

Fail of older agent/young agent games/contact scene throughout. Doesn't work.

Fail of confinement of bald man scene.

He connects with hot neighbor now. Really?

Fail of hooker woman and old man bed scene.

Fail of flashback scenes.

Fail of all office scenes with the low level girl.

Fail of climax scene. Excellent cinematography though.

Decent ending.

The relationship between the young and older agent killed the movie.

Almost as if the movie was made just so male celebrities could get laid. Sometimes, pretend sex on-camera turns into real sex off-camera. Either before or after shooting.

Interstellar, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Jonathan Nolan, Christopher Nolan

Director: Christopher Nolan

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: People want to survive on a dying planet.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Interview beginning scene not necessary.

Farmer's perspective doesn't make sense.

Fail of problem. Too unbelievable. Sorry, not sorry to the climate change movement.

NASA is what? Really?

Movie is too stupid, beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of solution.

Only one White man can figure it out. Oh dear god.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made $700 million proves that God does NOT exist.

The Equalizer, 2014: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Richard Wenk

Director: Antoine Fuqua

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue throughout. Garbage self-help philosophy. And that’s coming from a new age believer.

Plot: Russian mafia wants to run a prostitution ring.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Chloë Grace Moretz’s acting.

Fail of Marton Csokas’ acting. Wrong actor for role.

Fail of Denzel Washington’s acting. Wrong actor for role.

Comments:

Decent intro, could have done better with facial expressions.

Fail of diner scene.

Soul train. Oh dear god.

Fail of music content.

Good outside restaurant scene.

Fail of hospital scene. This could have been written better where the girl doesn't lay out the problem too directly.

Fail of waiting scenes. Fail of narration memory.

Beautiful mob room. Well done art department.

Excellent fighting cinematography throughout.

Excellent eye close up cinematography. Wow, very well done.

Decent recap scene.

Fail of the rest of scenes. Could have worked with a better writer.

Corrupt police. Nice but not needed.

Fail of vigilante solution. Should have stuck with the one plot.

He didn't think about taking out the surveillance cameras?

Nice cinematography of thief but not needed, nor believable.

Fail of diner scene.

Fail of apartment scene.

Fail of meeting friend scene.

Decent garage scene.

Fail of meat operations scene, garbage writing.

Good restaurant scene, but garbage dialogue which can't be overlooked.

Fail of dock scene, but beautiful cinematography.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail ending.

Maybe the writer thought that he could get away with a garbage plot and star power. In the eyes of the audience he did. In my eyes, it's garbage writing and directing that can’t be allowed to pass.

Lone Survivor, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Peter Berg

Director: Peter Berg

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Terrorists want to kill US military.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of training scene throughout.

Fail of amateur video scene throughout.

Fail of all narration.

Ah yes, the US military bringing US hegemony to the world in the name of democracy. Disgusting.

Fail of forest scene.

Fail of all scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Garbage movie, but based on a true story so...

80% of revenue made through domestic box office. No surprise there.

Hercules, 2014: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Ryan J. Condal, Evan Spiliotopoulos

Director: Brett Ratner

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A warlord wants to destroy a kingdom.

Story: Ambition, Character, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail battle scene.

Good teamwork plot instead of solo.

Fail of tavern scene.

The Atalanta character looks like a young Nicole Kidman.

Interesting flashback scene. Give me more.

Fail of king scene.

Hercules training people. Interesting.

Good green people battle scene.

Yes, the flashback backstory is genuine, but it still fails.

Fail of story scene.

Fail of asswipe general character. Yes Hercules is controlling the army, but only because the other guy is too weak.

59 minutes into it and I'm only now seeing the enemy. Really?

Fail of speech scene.

Good battle scene.

So, he was poor before this mission?

Fail of dungeon scene.

Fail of killing scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

The Legend of Hercules, 2014: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Sean Hood, Daniel Giat

Director: Renny Harlin

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A king wants to rule kingdoms.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Terrible acting overall.

Comments:

Two Hercules feature films in one year. Who's responsible for that f*ckup?

Slow motion intro tries to be like 300. Good try, but fails.

Fail of intro.

Interesting Hera/Hercules spin this time.

Older brother for Hercules. Interesting.

While this movie was interesting, the acting failed to deliver the weak characters.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing and acting.

Would be nice to see Hercules as a visible minority. Impossible with “liberal” Hollywood. Greek gods are public domain. Who will answer the call?

Complete fail of CGI scene of Hercules breaking free.

Fail of climax battle scene.

Fail of ending.

22 Jump Street, 2014: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Michael Bacall, Oren Uziel, Rodney Rothman

Director: Phil Lord, Christopher Miller

Dialogue: Fail

"I'm your best nightma...I'm your worst nightmare." Good line and delivery.

Plot: Someone wants to sell a new drug on the streets.

Story: Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Ice Cube.

Good acting by Channing Tatum.

Comments:

Decent intro truck scene.

Case with a Black victim. Jokes.

How much was the music clearance bill?

Decent church scene.

Fail of college products.

Fail of psychology lecture scene.

Good second lecture.

Fail of open mic scene.

Fail of jail scene.

Excellent slow motion party scene.

Fail of break-in scene.

Fail of drug scene. Too stupid.

The only thing that saved this movie is Ice Cube's character and acting.

Excellent dining scene.

Good guidance counselor scene.

Excellent church blowup scene.

Excellent library scene.

Good bathroom scene.

Good climax scene.

I believe he just grabbed and kissed the girl without permission again. Oh dear, that's a big no no in the eyes of the MeToo movement.

Excellent ending.

Passed with 3 writers. Well done.

Godzilla, 2014: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Max Borenstein

Director: Gareth Edwards

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Govt wants to cover up a past experiment.

Story: Character, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good cave scene.

Good nuclear plant explosion scene.

Fail of son home scene.

Fail of father home scene.

Good island scene.

Decent interrogation scene.

Fail of all scenes after.

Diet of radiation for fuel. Oh dear.

This movie was going strong but went to sh*t after giant creatures.

Fail of all scenes.

Did it fart out an EMP?

Fail of climax battle scene.

Fail of ending.

"Who is the savoir for all of humanity?" Godzilla and other giant sea creatures. Oh dear.

$77 million of box office revenue from China. Why do people in China love this dumb monster movies? Because they need fantasies to take them away from their life of communist servitude.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $500 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Maleficent, 2014: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Linda Woolverton

Director: Robert Stromberg

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A king wants to control a mystical land.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Good acting throughout.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent childhood scene.

Too much narration but understandable.

Good army scene.

Weak dialogue in beginning.

Good night sleep scene.

Excellent writing so far.

You didn't expect blowback against an elf. Really?

Good castle scene.

Fail of castle speech/curse scene.

Excellent three fairies scenes throughout.

Baby smiles at Maleficent. Jokes.

Crow taking care of the baby. Jokes.

Bloated goat. Jokes.

Good forest attack scenes throughout.

Excellent Maleficent/child scenes throughout.

Doesn't make sense that she can't revoke it, but I'll let it go.

Good castle scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid movie. Surprising for a Disney movie.

Let's Be Cops, 2014: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Luke Greenfield, Nicholas Thomas

Director: Luke Greenfield

Dialogue: Pass

Garbage dialogue

Plot: Mobsters want to take over a business.

Story: Ambition, Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of presentations scene.

"Check out this girl’s p*ssy." I don't think that line would make it into the movies today after the MeToo movement.

Fail of soccer scene.

Fail of music content.

Imitating cops. What? Powerfully stupid. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Women throwing themselves at cops. Really? Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of dance scene.

It's that easy to create a cop car. Really?

What was the music clearance bill for this movie? Doesn't matter since it was an Epic Commercial Success.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of arrested guy talk scene. Too stupid.

And people wonder why I've stopped watching movies. The only reason I watch them is to review. After 2018 reviews, I hope that I never watch another movie, unless my future wife and future kids wants to watch it.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that this movie made almost $150 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Need for Speed, 2014: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: George Gatins

Director: Scott Waugh

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A race car driver wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Fail of Dino character.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of auto shop scenes throughout.

Fail of almost all scenes. garbage movie.

Fail of all race car scenes.

They just threw in a plot to make this decent. Didn't work.

Fail of ballroom scene.

Yes, the cars are lovely, but a real plot would be better.

Fail of naked elevator scene.

Always have a piece of beef jerky to bribe guard dogs. When will these idiots learn?

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

$66 million in revenue from China? Holy f*ck. This movie is powerfully garbage.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $200 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, 2014: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Rob Lieber

Director: Miguel Arteta

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A family wants a better life.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Jennifer Garner.

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent bathroom scene.

Good car chauffer scene.

Good baby exercise scene.

Good house scenes throughout.

Good bedroom phone scene. Jokes.

Excellent road rage scene.

Decent school scenes throughout.

Jennifer Garner's acting really pushes this movie.

Excellent misprint scenes throughout.

Stifler's mom (Jennifer Coolidge). Wow, you really keep popping up in so many movies. Kudos.

Good driving test scenes throughout.

Good theatre scene.

Good van scene.

Good restaurant scene.

An alligator. Jokes.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

A Haunted House 2, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Marlon Wayans, Rick Alvarez

Director: Michael Tiddes

Dialogue: Fail

"You hate my vagina. You think it's too loose." "It's not. It' only on the outside. But once you choose a wall it's pretty damn tight." Excellent line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A ghost wants to haunt a family.

Story: Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of moving in scene.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Screwing a doll. Oh dear.

For f*cks sakes, stop doing so many parody movies. Just insert the parody in sparingly.

Fail of sex scenes throughout.

Sadly, the best part of this movie is the line that I pointed out above.

Fail of moth room scene.

Fail of dog kill scene.

Fail of other evil wife scene.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of chicken scene.

Fail of living room scene.

Fail of evil creature video scene.

Fail of church scene.

Excellent classroom teacher scene. Jokes.

Fail of basement scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Excellent death scene in the end.

Fail of ending.

A Most Violent Year, 2014: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: J. C. Chandor

Director: J. C. Chandor

Dialogue: Fail

Dialogue scenes too long and drawn out.

Plot: Hijackers want to steal heating oil trucks.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Fail of Abel Morales acting.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of meeting scene.

Heating oil. Of all things...it's heating oil. Really?

Fail of almost all scenes. Too dry and flat.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Fail of lack of music content.

Fail of barbershop scene.

I'm not sure what this movie wanted to be, but the audience didn't understand either.

Shooting a deer with a hand gun. That’s not cool.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $15 million proves that God DOES exist.

About Last Night, 2014: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Leslye Headland

Director: Steve Pink

Dialogue: Pass

"If I'm gay, it's only because after f*cking you for 3 months." Good line and delivery.

Plot: A couple wants to be together.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting throughout.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good bar scenes throughout.

Excellent bedroom sex scene. Holy f*ck.

Fail of other sex scene. These girls gave it up too easy. Liberal sluts. But that’s life.

Good office talk scenes throughout.

Kevin Hart was meant for these roles.

Good dating scenes throughout.

Excellent bedroom sex scenes throughout.

Black with Black. God forbid Black Men with White women. Well done Hollywood.

Excellent blow up bar scene. Jokes.

Ah yes…a Black couple fighting making White couples nervous. Yup, sounds about right.

Wow, f*cking with a chicken mask on. That's definitely too much.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Chef, 2014: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Jon Favreau

Director: Jon Favreau

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A critic wants to review a restaurant.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Surprisingly, excellent acting from Jon Favreau.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good chef/son scenes throughout.

Good chef scenes throughout.

Good after-party scene.

The portions are too small for me.

Decent blow up scene.

Robert Downey Jr. Oh dear.

Excellent chef truck scenes throughout.

Russell Peters in another small role. Hollywood must be throwing him a few bones.

Good non-climax scene.

Good ending.

Gone Girl, 2014: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Gillian Flynn

Director: David Fincher

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to find his wife.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Excellent character.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Ben Affleck.

Excellent acting by Rosamund Pike.

Comments:

Good intro.

Excellent flashback scenes throughout.

Good investigative scenes throughout.

A cheating husband. As expected.

Weird robbery scene.

Media and sensational news leading the charge. Of course.

A sociopath woman. I like it.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Weird movie, but I liked it.

Blended, 2014: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Clare Sera, Ivan Menchell

Director: Frank Coraci

Dialogue: Pass

Translated "Why is Frodo grabbing himself?" "Maybe that's where he keeps the ring." Excellent line, good delivery.

Plot: A woman wants to set up a friend on a blind date.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Pass

Good characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Decent date scene.

Who organizes other people's closets? Weird.

Why is Shaq in this movie?

Putting foot insoles in the bra. Jokes.

Good baseball scene.

Good store scene.

Is it just me or are Adam Sandler movies getting better?

Good African restaurant scenes throughout.

"Booty calls gone wrong." Jokes.

Decent girl stepping on guys ball scene. Could have been done better.

Good bathroom scene.

Good ostrich scene.

Excellent dance arguing scene. Well done.

Good meditation scene.

Excellent Drew Barrymore entrance and Indian woman scene.

Excellent movie.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Sabotage, 2014: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Skip Woods, David Ayer

Director: David Ayer

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue.

Plot: Someone wants to kill DEA agents.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of infiltration/attack scene.

No one cares about scummy DEA agents.

Ex-DEA agent sentenced to 12 years in federal prison for conspiring with Colombian cartel

12 Of The Sketchiest Things The DEA Has Done While Waging The War On Drugs

Fail of interrogations scene.

Fail of all office scenes.

Fail of training scenes.

Fail of stripper scene.

Complete fail of everything. Fail of writing, directing, acting.

Fail of turning on each other scene.

Stuffed in a fridge. There are worse ways to die.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb, 2014: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: David Guion, Michael Handelman

Director: Shawn Levy

Dialogue: Pass

"I love Jews. We owned 40,000 of them." "Such lovely people." "Here we go." "They were very happy. Always singing with candles." Excellent line and delivery.

I'm Half Jewish - Night at the Museum 2014: Secret of the Tomb

Plot: Something wants to control museum artifacts.

Story: Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good museum scene throughout.

Good old people scene.

Good security scene.

Good triceratops dinosaur.

Ben Kingsley as an Egyptian king. Of course. Well done Hollywood.

Good flashback scenes.

Not as good as the previous Night at the Museum movies.

Good painting style action.

Bus scene could have been better.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Dirty dancing. Jokes.

Dumb and Dumber to, 2014: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly, Sean Anders, John Morris, Bennett Yellin, Mike Cerrone

Director: Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly

Dialogue: Fail

"What can I say? I was a titanic whore." Good line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A woman wants to kill her rich husband.

Story: Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of house scenes throughout.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Terrible stupid funny.

Good sagging tattoo scene.

Fail of travelling scenes.

A woman who has a foot fetish. Crazy liberal women.

Child drinking cola in a 2L bottle. Jokes.

Good nursing home scene.

Good camouflage suit scene.

What's the music clearance bill for this scene?

Fail of festival scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

6 writers. Way too many cooks in the kitchen.

Top Five, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Chris Rock

Director: Chris Rock

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A comedian wants people to take him seriously.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Complete fail of movie.

Corny flashbacks during an interview. Really?

Hot sauce tampon in the ass could have been done better.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

This movie couldn't work even with all the cameos of A-listers and celebrities.

I love Chris Rock. One of my all time favorite comedians. But stick to stand-up.

Birdman, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Alejandro G. Inarritu, Nicolas Giacobone, Alexander Dinelaris Jr., Armando Bo

Director: Alejandro G. Inarritu

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: An actor wants a better life.

Story: Character, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Edward Norton.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good flower scene.

Fail of theater scenes throughout.

Fail of lawyer talk scene.

Fail of interview scene.

Decent stage blow up scene.

Fail of alter ego scenes.

Ah...the days when newspaper reviews mattered. Go f*ck yourselves you talentless journalists. I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from. I mean, please go work on you investigative journalism and stop your clickbait journalism with sh*tty car, big pharma, and bank ads.

Good bar scene.

Fail of father/daughter scenes throughout.

Good backstage scene.

Fail of roof scene.

Fail of all alter ego scenes.

Nice creativity. Actors and writers get lost in their own world's but it doesn't work here.

Fail of fight scene.

Fail all scenes after. Fail of writing.

Fail of street scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Ah…paparazzi. They act as if they hate it, but they would be nothing without it. Paparazzi is part of the Illuminati/Hollywood machine.

Fail of ending.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Boyhood, 2014: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Richard Linklater

Director: Richard Linklater

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Divorced parents wants a better life for their kids.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Watching Dragonball Z. That costs money.

Good argument fight scene.

Excellent daughter dance scene. Jokes.

Good bowling scene.

Good home scenes throughout, both homes.

Flat movie.

Drinking in the morning. Oh dear.

Excellent mom car school scene.

Good camping scenes.

Mother is a professor. Nuff said.

Good campfire guy/girl scene.

Good porch stepdad scene.

Good dorm scene.

Good climax scene.

Fail of ending. Garbage armchair philosophy.

Foxcatcher, 2014: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Director: Bennett Miller

Writer: E. Max Frye, Dan Futterman

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A wrestler wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Family, Relationships, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Channing Tatum.

Good acting by Steve Carell.

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Excellent wrestling scenes throughout.

Slow paced movie, but still well done.

The lack of music content worked amazingly well to set the tone.

Excellent mother/son talk scene.

Excellent brother training scene.

Excellent stable scene. Very well done.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Solid movie.

This movie should have made a lot more money. The fact that this movie was an Epic Commercial Failure proves that God does NOT exist.

Horrible Bosses 2, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Sean Anders, John Morris

Director: Sean Anders

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A business magante wants to take advantage of inventors.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good news interview scene.

Fail of office talk scene.

Fail of golf scene.

Fail of all Chris Pine scenes throughout.

They talk to their old boss in jail. Really?

Good addiction workshop scene.

Fail of security cam scene.

Fail of all scenes of father investor.

Good sex deliberation scene when wife walks in.

Fail of parking garage scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Not even close to first Horrible Bosses.

Neighbors, 2013 Neighbors, 2014: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Andrew J. Cohen, Brendan O'Brien

Director: Nicholas Stoller

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A fraternity wants to move in next door.

Story: Character, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good work scenes throughout.

Excellent home scenes throughout.

Here Comes the Hotstepper (Heartical Remix). Holy sh*t. I remember when that first came out in ‘95.

Fail of frat scenes throughout. Too stupid.

Who f*cks with the drapes open unless they want people watching them?

Excellent hospital scene.

Hannibal Buress. How did he get in this movie?

A woman shoving alcohol down another woman's mouth. Female empowerment at its best. But I don’t think the MeToo movement would approve.

Excellent party wife kiss scene with music. Very well done.

Bad neighbours 2014 party kiss scene

Good baby/breast scene.

An airbag office seat prank. Wow. I didn't see that coming.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

One of the best movies of all time.

Non Stop, 2014: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: John W. Richardson, Chris Roach, Ryan Engle

Director: Jaume Collet-Serra

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A terrorist wants to hijack a plane.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good airport scene.

Good plane scenes throughout.

Ah…the plot thickens with the account number.

Excellent writing.

Excellent climax scenes. Excellent twist.

Excellent ending.

Passed with 3 writers. Well done.

Ride Along, 2014: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Greg Coolidge, Jason Mantzoukas, Phil Hay, Matt Manfredi

Director: Tim Story

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Counterfeiters want to traffic fake passports.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good home scenes throughout.

Good office scenes throughout.

Decent school scenes throughout.

Wakes up to guy by the bed. Jokes.

Good car talk scenes throughout.

Good motorcycle scene.

Decent gun range scene.

Excellent grocery store scene.

Good stripper scene.

Fail of warehouse scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Passed with 4 writers. Impressive.

Tammy, 2014: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Ben Falcone, Melissa McCarthy

Director: Ben Falcone

Dialogue: Pass

"I do not want your tongue in my mouth." "Where do you want it?" Good line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A boss wants to fire a server.

Story: Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Good shop scene.

Hey, CJ from The West Wing (Allison Janney). Wow. Nice to see you again.

Good house scenes throughout.

Good car scenes throughout.

Good bar scene.

Excellent stick up scene with music.

Excellent reflect scene.

Dan Aykroyd. Wow. What a blast from the past.

Decent climax scene.

Decent ending.

The Fault in Our Stars, 2014: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Scott Neustadter, Michael H. Weber

Director: Josh Boone

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A woman wants to deal with her cancer diagnosis.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Shailene Woodley.

Comments:

Good intro.

Ah...another sad but hopeful cancer movie. Lovely. Almost everyone on the planet has cancer or knows someone that has it, hence they can relate to it and pretend be strong to fight it. I'll take my medical marijuana and die naturally (if I get it), thank you very much.

Excellent narration throughout.

Always nice to see big pharma in action. Big pharma and Western doctors do the best they can. Get the f*ck outta here.

Good life scenes throughout.

Excellent intellectual scene.

It's an excellent scene because if just left to natural evolution, so many unhealthy babies would have died in the first few years of life, survival of the fittest. But in the mind of atheist scientists, technology is distorting the evolution itself by keeping these people alive.

Good angry scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

That Awkward Moment, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Tom Gormican

Director: Tom Gormican

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A wife wants a divorce.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of Mikey and Vera characters.

Fail of Jason character. Too cheesy.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of narration throughout.

Fail of all office meeting scenes throughout.

Another stupid funny movie. Christ.

Fail of bar scenes throughout.

She asks where this is going during doggy style sex. Jokes. Well done. Best scene of the movie.

Was this supposed to be a comedy with meaning? Get better actors.

Fail of fight scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Kudos to the skinny $8 million production budget.

The Theory of Everything, 2014: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Anthony McCarten

Director: James Marsh

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A physicist wants a better life after his disease.

Story: Relationships, Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Felicity Jones.

Excellent acting by Eddie Redmayne.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good dating scenes throughout.

Yes, he's a genius, we get it.

Hey the doctor from Manchurian Candidate (Simon McBurney). You keep popping up. Kudos.

Some shots a bit too close up.

Excellent recap of life scenes throughout.

Good church talk scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Excellent writing, directing, music, acting.

Solid movie.

Wild, 2014: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Nick Hornby

Director: Jean-Marc Vallee

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A woman wants a better life.

Story: Character, Purpose

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Reese Witherspoon.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Flat and dry movie. Walking is just too dry.

Fail of all past scenes throughout.

Ah…the life of crazy liberal women. Good luck to the men that marry them.

Ducktaping shoes. Jokes.

Shooting a horse. That's not cool.

Fail of non-climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Fail of character, but the movie is based on a true story, so...

Nightcrawler, 2014: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Dan Gilroy

Director: Dan Gilroy

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting from Jake Gyllenhaal.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of office talk scene.

Fail of highway scene.

Weird police scenes.

Fail of media scenes.

Main characters doesn't work. Too unbelievable.

The life of videographers as a movie. Really?

This is an art house movie. Should have been direct to video/streaming.

Sensational journalism struggling for ratings. Just die already.

Fail of interview scene.

Ah…he begins to craft the narrative…like most journalists.

Boring media scenes with Russo.

Nightcrawling 14 years. Oh dear. Today, smartphones will do.

Fail of date scene.

Well…that's one way to eliminate your competition.

The dark tone of the movie is good but the main character is still sh*t.

Fail of angry negotiation scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

His acting is great, but the plot is sh*t. Sorry, but great acting without a real plot and terrible main character is a waste of time.

Just so you know, I watched this movie twice and came to the same conclusion to fail it.

Continued in Part 2.