Hollywood Movie Review Series:

*Movies are in no particular order. Please use Crtl F on your keyboard to find a particular movie. Movies that got a wide release in the year after their first screening are listed in the next year. For example, 300 (2006) is listed in 2007 because it only got a wide release in 2007.

*Don't worry about spoilers. You can read the review of any movie without being afraid of spoilers and enjoy the movie if you watch it. I intentionally made sure not to ruin a movie by revealing a hidden plot or hidden climax scene. I simply pass or fail each scene and comment on them.

Punisher: War Zone, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Art Marcum, Matt Holloway, Nick Santora

Director: Lexi Alexander

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Italian mob wants to kill a family.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

The mob face is more dumb than scary.

FBI agents are helping. What?

Hires a gang of all ethnicities to take him out. Nice diversity but too unbelievable.

Mob boss soft and emotional in his reflection. Oh dear.

Odd that Punisher still feels personal emotions, despite all the killing.

Corny cop character not needed.

Fail of FBI fighting scene while other threatening.

Fail of all FBI scenes throughout. Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

The Day The Earth Stood Still, 2008: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: David Scarpa

Director: Scott Derrickson

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Extraterrestrials want to destroy humanity.

Story: Survival

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good alien scenes throughout.

Good interrogation scene.

Good confinement scene.

Good diner meeting scene.

Good house meeting scene.

Good giant eye creature scenes.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

An expected outcome, but not a bad movie.

The entire plot could have been avoided if the aliens landed in NYC at UN headquarters when everyone was meeting. Just saying.

Eagle Eye, 2008: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: John Glenn, Travis Adam Wright, Hillary Seitz, Dan McDermott

Director: D. J. Caruso

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: AI wants to destroy the US govt.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Michelle Monaghan.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good global communication traffic scenes.

This movie could have been better if there was a real plot. Plot doesn’t really make sense if you think about it.

Good couple scenes throughout.

Good electric shock scene.

Good video monitor scene.

Good pre-climax scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Good ending.

Weak characters. But the acting is strong enough to pass it.

Passed with 4 writers. Well done.

Iron Man, 2008: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Mark Fergus, Hawk Ostby, Art Marcum, Matt Holloway

Director: Jon Favreau

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Someone wants to take over a weapons company.

Story: Character, Purpose, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Good morning after scene.

Excellent cave scenes throughout.

Good character development throughout.

Good saving day scenes throughout.

Good pre-climax scene.

Decent climax scene.

Good ending.

Passed with 4 writers. Impressive.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 2007 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, 2008: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: David Koepp

Director: Steven Spielberg

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Soviet military wants to rule the world.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent nuclear explosion and fridge scene.

Good scrubbing scene.

Decent interview scene.

Excellent beginning bar fight scene and escape.

Good adventure and action scenes throughout.

Decent skull scenes throughout.

Excellent car/sword fight scene with music content. Well done.

Decent climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid adventure movie for the family.

Street Kings, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: James Ellroy, Kurt Wimmer, Jamie Moss

Director: David Ayer

Dialogue: Fail

Decent speech by Captain Jack Wander in the end, but could have been better.

Plot: Gangsters want to obtain weapons.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Good Tom Ludlow character.

Ludlow’s girlfriend character is unnecessary.

Fail of Paul "Disco" Diskant character.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Keanu Reeves’ acting.

Comments:

Good intro. Lack of dialogue worked well.

Good shot of the water running from toilet shooting.

"Eyes like apostrophes, talk Black and drive Jew." Oh…snap. Well done.

Good shootout scene.

Fail of by the book Black guy cop character. Doesn’t make sense.

Decent hospital scene.

Good interview scene.

Good restaurant scene.

Decent convenience store scene.

Good compliant scenes.

Good interview scene.

Good office argument scene.

Decent funeral scene.

Decent tone to movie. Audience already has an idea what’s really happening, but…

Decent bathroom scene.

Decent chase scene.

Good backyard scene.

Fail of door scene.

Fail of apartment scene.

Flashbacks would have been a nice visual when Keanu made sense of it all.

Fail of pre-climax scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

I wanted to pass this movie, but…

This movie should be redone with a better writer.

The Dark Knight, 2008: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Jonathan Nolan, Christopher Nolan

Director: Christopher Nolan

Dialogue: Pass

"Look at me...look at me." Weak line, excellent delivery.

"Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order and everything becomes chaos." Excellent line and delivery.

The Dark Knight (6/9) Movie CLIP - Agent of Chaos (2008)

Plot: Mafia wants to get rid of Batman.

Story: Character

Characters: Pass

Excellent Joker character.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Heath Ledger.

Good acting by Aaron Eckhart.

Comments:

Excellent intro bank scene. Well done.

Excellent above ground parking lot scene. Very well done.

Excellent music content throughout. This is the composer you want for your blockbuster movie.

Good underground hideout scene.

Good court scene.

Good office scene.

Excellent Wayne office scene.

Good restaurant scene.

Good mob kitchen scene.

Excellent boat scene.

Good joker gamble scene.

Excellent building infiltration scene.

Good mayor office scene.

Excellent "look at me" scene.

Good Joker party scene. Odd that security wasn't alerted prior, but I’ll let it pass.

Excellent underground hideout scene.

An accountant has access to all of Wayne’s files. Really? But…I’ll let it pass.

Good police funeral scene.

Excellent police chase/attack scene.

Excellent motorcycle transformation.

Excellent Joker/Batman interrogation scene. Very well done.

Excellent writing, directing, acting, music, cinematography, dialogue.

Excellent hospital scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

One of the best movies of all time.

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Andrew Adamson, Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely

Director: Andrew Adamson

Dialogue: Pass

"Pretend you're talking to me." "We are talking to you." Decent line, good delivery.

"And the trees, they retreated so deep into themselves that they haven't been heard from since." Good line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A lord wants to kill his nephew.

Story: Character, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of Lord Miraz character.

Fail of Prince Caspian character.

Excellent mouse character.

Fail of Peter character.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good long intro.

Fail of station fight scene.

"Feels like magic, hold hands." Oh dear.

Decent castle scene.

Fail of beach scene.

decent castle scene.

4 White kids to save the day from the evil White people and helpless savage. Yup, sounds about right.

Fail of forest scene.

Narnia always needs a royal king or queen? That’s one way to advocate for the monarchy.

Fail of animal human speech scene.

Animals are a bit too quick to believe in the prince and peace.

Fail of wandering forest scenes.

Fail of all sword fight scenes.

Fail of strategy scene.

Tied up cat. Jokes.

Fail of room scene.

Fail of skirmish scene.

Fail of white queen scene.

"You might need to call me again." Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of pre-climax scenes.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Decent ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

The Women, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Diane English

Director: Diane English

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to have an affair.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good shopping intro.

Decent manicure scene.

Ah…the plight of rich White women. Cry me a river.

I almost forgot that Jada Pinkett Smith was there.

Fail of most scenes.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of manicure scene.

Fail of dinner scene. Candice Bergen from Murphy Brown. Wow.

Fail of car scene.

Fail of manicure scene.

Fail of confrontation dressing room scene.

I'm sorry, but I can't feel sorry for this woman.

Fail of kitchen scene.

Fail of workout scene.

Magazine competition. I wonder how long those will last in the 21st century.

Fail of dinner group talk scene.

What the f*ck are these teenage girls doing? Auditioning for Harvey Weinstein? Sorry, that was below the belt (forgive the pun).

Fail of therapy scenes.

Fail of confrontation friend scene.

Fail of girl and future step mom tub scene.

Fail of fashion show scenes.

Good hospital climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

Hancock, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Vince Gilligan, Vincent Ngo

Director: Peter Berg

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A superhero doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

This movie is too stupid.

Second plot after character transformation is too stupid.

Excellent Hancock child bully scene. Best scene of the movie.

Hancock (2008) - Call Me A**hole One More Time Scene (4/10)

Fail of almost all scenes. Complete fail of writing and directing.

Fail of real plot and enemies. Too corny.

Fail of character development.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Jumper, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: David S. Goyer, Jim Uhls, Simon Kinberg

Director: Doug Liman

Dialogue: Pass

"I'm in banking." "Banking? Didn't you flunk algebra?" "No." Decent line, good delivery.

Plot: A Black ops team wants to kill special people.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Hayden Christianson

Excellent acting by Samual L. Jackson as usual.

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Odd that the ability has no effect on a person's health.

Unbelievable characters and plot but good acting and music content make it work.

Good apartment scene.

Good Rome fight scene.

Excellent quick mother scene.

Fail of plot. Too stupid.

Fail of secondary jumper character.

Fail of both guys chasing scene.

Fail of tunnel lair scenes.

Fail of budding relationship scenes throughout.

Good attack scene.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Decent ending.

Movie felt too rushed.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Guillermo del Toro

Director: Guillermo del Toro

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: An alien wants to destroy humanity.

Story: Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all main characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of acting all around.

Fail of Selma Blair’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of auction scene.

And the aliens are White. Of course. Well done Hollywood.

Plot is too stupid and unbelievable.

Complete fail of all scenes. Fail writing, directing, acting.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Fail of music content.

Fail of all fight scenes throughout.

A giant rock man. Of course.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $150 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Disaster Movie, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer

Director: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: People want to survive the end of the world.

Story: Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of gladiator intro.

Gasoline for the vocal cords? Jokes.

Fail of bed scene.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of women fight scene.

Fail of Juno parody scenes throughout.

Fail of marching band scene.

Fail of Hannah Montana parody scene.

Good child Hancock parody scene.

Decent Sex in the City scene.

Fail of Jumper parody scene.

Fail of Narnia scene.

Good high butt crack scene.

Decent phone scene.

Fail of fairy scenes throughout.

Fail of Step Up parody scenes.

Fail of Hellboy parody scene.

Good poop scene.

Fail of Alvin and the Chipmunks parody scene.

Good headache commercial scene.

Fail of batman scene.

Fail of Beowulf parody scene.

Fail of Kung Fu Panda parody scene.

Fail of Indiana Jones climax scene.

Decent ending song scene.

Weak acting and characters. The few moments of good comedy were not enough to pass.

Quantum of Solace, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Paul Haggis, Neal Purvis, Robert Wade

Director: Marc Forster

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A terrorist wants to put a dictator in power.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters except for Bond. Just terrible.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Camille Montes’s acting.

Fail of Mathieu Amalric’s acting.

Fail of Gemma Arterton’ acting.

Fail of David Harbour’s acting.

Fail of Jeffrey Wright’s acting.

Comments:

Excellent intro chase with excellent music.

Good dungeon scene.

Decent chase scene.

Weak investigation scenes throughout.

Good touch screen tech. Well done.

Good room fight scene.

Fail of doc scenes.

Fail of boat scene. Doesn't make sense.

Excellent vertical screen tech. When will that be available to consumers?

Fail of CIA plot, even though that is how they operate.

Fail of all opera scenes.

Fail of music only fight scene.

He has to debrief. Really?

Good René Mathis scene.

Excellent taxi scene. Jokes.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of airplane/land scene.

Good hotel/MI6 scene.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Excellent ending, but not enough to pass.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Taken, 2008: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen

Director: Pierre Morel

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Sex traffickers want to abduct American girls.

Story: Family

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good club/limo scene.

Good family scenes.

Good Paris hotel scene.

Excellent music content during threatening conversation.

Good solution scenes.

Excellent sex trade auction scene. That's probably a pretty accurate reflection of reality. Well done.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

Body of Lies, 2008: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: William Monahan

Director: Ridley Scott

Dialogue: Pass

"It is a fallacy that prolonged war will weaken an occupied enemy." Decent line, good delivery.

"Urgency does not call for changing methods that work for methods that do not work." Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: Terrorists want to destroy Western-European culture.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Mark Strong. Wow. Fabulous. That's second only to Daniel Day Lewis in There Will be Blood (2007).

Good acting by Leonardo DiCaprio.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Decent phone conversations with CIA intelligence scenes throughout.

Good CIA intelligence voice over scene.

Good intelligence desert scene.

Decent phone conversation scene.

Decent station chief scene.

Excellent scenes with Hani Salem character throughout because of the excellent acting by Mark Strong. Really takes the movie to another level.

Decent doctor scenes throughout. Doesn't work.

Decent talk scene with boss throughout.

Hey, the doctor (Simon McBurney) from Manchurian Candidate again. You keep popping up in these small roles. Kudos.

Good lunch family scene.

Excellent set up plot. Well done.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Weak beginning and middle, but it really picked up in the end.

Characters were weak (except for Hani Salem) but acting and plot is enough to pass it.

Wanted, 2008: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Michael Brandt, Derek Haas, Chris Morgan

Director: Timur Bekmambetov

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: An assassin wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro action scene.

This movie wouldn't have been made without Angelina Jolie.

The actors really make this movie come to life.

Excellent cinematography all around.

All the action scenes are too unbelievable, but that's the point as well.

Coded language. Weak plot device.

Excellent first kill scene by the rookie.

Interesting training scenes.

Excellent apartment Jolie scene.

Excellent car chase scene.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

The Incredible Hulk, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Zak Penn

Director: Louis Leterrier

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all military dialogue.

Fail of all professor dialogue.

Plot: US military wants to create super soldiers.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Complete Fail of all characters except hulk.

Acting: Fail

Fail of William Hurt’s acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Fail of Liv Tyler’s acting.

Comments:

Decent flashback intro.

He would have had better luck being with Buddhist monks instead of Brazil martial artists.

Decent factory scene to enable plot.

Good military scenes.

Good apartment attack scene.

Killing/tranquilizing a dog. That's not cool.

Decent factory scene.

I see how the writer is connecting it, but it doesn’t work. Weak writing.

Black-ops that are idiots and don't understand what they're getting into. Doesn't make sense. a specialized team would have been indoctrinated into the classified program.

Fail of house explanation scene.

Fail of all military scenes after.

Fail of university scenes.

The love story tone of the movie doesn't work.

Fail of university battle scene.

Only love can soothe his savage heart. Yawn.

In 2008 no one had a camera to record it. Really?

Good virtual email scenes.

Fail of cab scene. Wasted comedy potential.

Nice to see academia trying to save the day, but still doesn't work.

The mixture could be an abomination. Sigh.

Nice to see the climax scenes filmed in Toronto on Yonge St. Zanzibar and The Big Slice. Oh dear god. If you want the worst cardboard pizza on the planet, go to The Big Slice on Yonge St. Oh…too late, they closed in 2016. Thank god.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

The Transporter 3, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen

Director: Olivier Megaton

Dialogue: Fail

Garbage dialogue. Worse than the previous Transporter movies.

Fail of all dialogue with girl and hero in car.

Plot: A corporation wants to ship toxic materials to Europe.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all bad guy characters.

Fail of Valentina character.

Acting: Pass

Good acting from bad guy villains.

Comments:

Good intro. Not the best, but quick and nice.

Fail of first car chase.

Fail of sound effects in fights. Where's the bone cracks? Needed for suspension of disbelief.

Excellent shots of all fight scenes throughout. Kudos to the cinematographer and director.

At least it's a real plot this time.

A black thug working for a White crime lord. Love to see the new slavery.

Excellent garage fight scene.

While the plot is good this time, the dialogue is too painful to listen to. Fail of writing.

Excellent bike chase scene.

Fail of drunk scene. Too stupid, but it was necessary to connect the other guys, so...

Fail of sex scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of bridge scene.

Fail of train station scene

Fail of tension signing scene.

Fail of train scene

A car on a train. What is this, a James Bondmovie?

Excellent end explosion scene

Good ship ending.

Run Fat Boy Run, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Michael Ian Black, Simon Pegg

Director: David Schwimmer

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A groom wants to leave his bride at the altar.

Story: Family, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

What kind of groom runs away from his pregnant bride? Powerfully stupid. Everything goes downhill from there. Not that it was uphill prior, but…

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of locker room scene.

Fail of getting in shape scenes throughout.

Decent toe puss scene.

Fail of street fight scene.

Fail of music content.

Fail of run and hospital scene.

Fail of climax scenes.

Decent ending.

That move is similar to gun bump stocks. Well done.

Get Smart, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Tom J. Astle, Matt Ember

Director: Peter Segal

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Terrorists want to detonate a nuclear weapon.

Story: Relationships, Ethics, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Another James Bond parody. Christ.

Applauding an agent. Oh dear.

Fail of agent meeting.

Fail of agent scene.

Fail of interview scene.

Fail of meeting scene. Too stupid.

Another stupid funny movie. Oh dear.

Fail of plane scene.

Excellent ballroom dance scene. The only high point of the movie.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Good rooftop scene.

Fail of car scene.

Fail of breakout scene.

Good jet scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Swordfish in the head. Jokes.

Fail of ending.

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg

Director: Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: US govt wants to catch terrorists.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good airport scene.

Another stoner movie. Oh dear.

Fail of plane scene. too stupid.

Fail of interrogation scene.

Fail of prison scenes.

Fail of bottomless party.

Fail of investigation scenes throughout.

Fail of flashback scenes throughout.

Black guys reporting it. Yah right. Too unbelievable.

If you thought 2008 was bad for police killing Black people, in the present, it's getting worse.

Police killings of Black Americans amount to crimes against humanity, international inquiry finds

Fatal Police Shootings Of Unarmed Black People Reveal Troubling Patterns

Here's A Timeline Of Unarmed Black People Killed By Police Over Past Year

More Than Half of Police Killings Are Mislabeled, New Study Says

Minnesota officer was 'betraying her badge' in killing of Daunte Wright, prosecutor says

900 people have been shot and killed by police in the past year

The Conspiracy Against Visible Minorities

Fail of thug police scene.

Asshole deer in New Jersey. Jokes.

Good deer scene.

Fail of clan scene.

Fail all car scenes throughout.

Fail of burlesque house scene.

Fail of climax scenes.

Fail of ending.

Tropic Thunder (Director's Cut), 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Justin Theroux, Ben Stiller, Etan Cohen

Director: Ben Stiller

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Guerilla fighters want to kidnap an actor.

Story: Purpose, Character

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of army forest scene.

Limp d*ck f*ckups. Jokes.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Robert Downey Jr. in Blackface. Really? Then again, Hollywood is a racist and sexist institution, so it's not unexpected. Blackface character wasn’t necessary at all.

Excellent video cam talk scene.

Key grip guy. Jokes.

Good dead head scene.

Ah…the life of the method actor.

Plot is too stupid.

Fail of writing, directing.

Making it up as they go.

Snap your d*ck off. Jokes.

Excellent Les Grossman phone scene. Best scene of the movie.

Tropic Thunder - Les Grossman Yelling

Fail of all scenes after that.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Excellent dance ending/credit scene.

I can see how most would pass this movie based on the comedy, but sometimes, it’s just not enough. I think Ben Stiller’s stupid-funny acting killed it for me.

Bedtime Stories, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Matt Lopez, Tim Herlihy

Director: Adam Shankman

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A hotel owner wants to shut down their current hotel.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of hotel speech scene.

Lucy Lawless from Xena. Wow. What a blast from the past.

Wheatgrass cake. Jokes.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of first meeting man/woman scene.

Organic squirrel. Jokes.

Fail of all bedtime story scenes. Too stupid.

Fail of all hotel scenes throughout. Fail of writing.

Ah…Russell Brand before his Hollywood exile. Interesting because he wasn’t that great of an actor.

Fail of hot girl scenes.

Decent other women meeting scene.

Fail of presentation scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Defiance, 2008: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Clayton Frohman, Edward Zwick

Director: Edward Zwick

Dialogue: Pass

"We may be hunted like animals but we will not become animals." Good line, fail in delivery.

Plot: Germans want to kill polish Jews.

Story: Survival, Character, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Daniel Craig. Best acting I’ve seen from Daniel Craig so far.

Excellent acting by Liev Schrieber.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good to excellent forest scenes throughout.

Excellent music content.

Good mass grave scene.

"Little shit has the balls to shoot me." Jokes.

Excellent wife/child/death realization scene.

Good mutiny scene.

Good meeting scene.

Good marriage scene.

Won't sh*t in the same hole as a Jew? But sh*t doesn't discriminate.

Good second mutiny scene.

Good mob death scene. It was necessary.

Excellent climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid movie. Should have made more money, at least to Potential Profit.

College Road Trip, 2008: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Emi Mochizuki, Carrie Evans, Cinco Paul, Ken Daurio

Director: Roger Kumble

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A dad wants his daughter to go to a particular university.

Story: Character, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of mock court scene.

Excellent house scenes throughout.

Will Sasso from MadTV. Wow. Nice to see you again.

Good party scene.

Measuring the guys head. Jokes.

Decent car scene.

Weird, the guy looks similar to me when I have my hair short. Very weird. His nose is even similar to mine. But I think mine's bigger.

Rocking the car. Jokes.

Good pig wedding scene.

Molly Ephraim from Last Man Standing. Wow.

Fail of bus scene.

Good dad infiltration scene.

Decent climax scene.

Good golf scene.

Good ending.

Passed with 4 writers. Impressive.

21, 2008: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Peter Steinfeld, Allan Loeb

Director: Robert Luketic

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A student wants to get a scholarship for medical school.

Story: Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Kevin Spacey as usual.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good interview scene.

Good lecture scene.

Excellent poker intro scene.

Not thinking "logically." You mean not thinking "rationally." Logic and rationality are two very different things. But I get tired of correcting people so I just stopped. But for the record, logic has more to do with mathematics as opposed to a valid means of arguing.

Good tie store scene.

Excellent training scenes throughout.

Good underground gambling scene.

Excellent Vegas scenes throughout.

Good morning after scene.

Good security scenes throughout.

Good bar scene.

Good subway scene.

Fail of spending spree scene.

And the strippers don't take the money. Really?

Good sex scene.

Good beat up scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Good ending.

27 Dresses, 2008: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Aline Brosh McKenna

Director: Anne Fletcher

Dialogue: Pass

"That was yesterday. Today you're just some b*tch who broke my heart and cut up my mother's wedding dress." Good line and delivery.

Plot: A woman wants to get married.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Katherine Heigl as usual.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good marriage scenes throughout.

Good cab scene.

Gotta love print journalism's need for gossip, sex and relationship articles. Just die already.

Good boss office scene.

Good bar scenes throughout.

Good lonely scenes throughout.

Good work scenes throughout.

Good boss, sister scenes throughout.

Excellent yoga scene.

Good house guy house scene.

Good car scene.

Good wedding dress blowup scene.

Decent pre-wedding slideshow scene.

Good hardware scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Babylon AD, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Mathieu Kassovitz, Eric Besnard

Director: Mathieu Kassovitz

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Terrorists want to capture a girl.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of acting all around.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of post apocalyptic world.

Fail of music content.

Fail of first attack scene.

Fail of giant tank scene.

Fail of nun protection scene.

"Fail of the rules." Complete garbage.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing, directing, acting.

Nice map tech.

Fail of all transport scenes.

Fail of warehouse scenes throughout.

Fail of refugees scene.

Fail of submarine scene.

Killing polar bears. That's not cool.

Fail of camping scene.

Ah…tech for religious fanatics. Of course. Religious people are full of contradictions and usually hypocrites when it serves their purpose.

Religion the only hope and one special girl. Really?

A Coca Cola jet. Really? How much did Coca-Cola pay for that?

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $70 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Gran Torino, 2008: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Nick Schenk

Director: Clint Eastwood

Dialogue: Pass

Excellent dialogue.

Plot: Thugs want to intimidate a family.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent church scene.

Good house scenes throughout.

Good gang scenes throughout.

Excellent get off my lawn scene.

Good truck gang scene. Black guys don't have guns. Really?

Good awkward scenes.

Good barbershop scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Deception, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Mark Bomback

Director: Marcel Langenegger

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of office scenes throughout.

Fail of tennis scene.

Fail of bar scene.

If he wanted more than sex it could have worked.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Michelle Williams from Dawson’s Creek. Nice to see you again. Congrats on getting back to the big screen.

And the plot thickens, but too late. Weak plot and characters. Fail of writing.

Interesting banking scheme.

Surprised at revelation. Really?

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Rambo IV, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Art Monterastelli, Sylvester Stallone

Director: Sylvester Stallone

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue. Oh dear god.

Plot: Guerilla fighters want to kill and enslave people.

Story: Character, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Ah yes…only the Italian Stallion knows the true ways of the land.

Christian missionaries who don't understand the nature of violence. Sigh.

Ah yes…only the Christian god can save these souls that are not long for this world.

Only the White blondes can appeal to Rambo’s soft but iron heart. Oh dear.

Hey, she's the woman from the Angel (Julie Benz). Wow.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of boat escort scene.

Garbage plot, but too much to expect from a Rambo movie.

Characters don't make sense. Shouldn't he know that they're trying to kill them to damn their souls?

Movie title should have been The Battle for Souls.

Who throws their super cool knife away?

This movie looks very expensive.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Fail of rescue op scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that this movie made over $100 million proves that God doesn't exist.

It's because of these movies that I despise Hollywood studios and wish for all of them to go bankrupt.

Death Race, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Paul W. S. Anderson

Director: Paul W. S. Anderson

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Someone wants to frame a man for murder.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Powerfully stupid movie. Fail of writing, directing.

Excellent frame up package. Terrible solution.

Cars and women. The dumbing down continues.

Fail of most scenes.

Legal prison snuff movies. That's how you know society is no longer worth protecting.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close. The fact that it made $75 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Max Payne, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Beau Thorne

Director: John Moore

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Someone wants to kill people and deal drugs.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of precinct scene throughout.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Powerfully stupid Valkyrie plot.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of apart beating scene.

Fail of hospital scene.

Doesn't make sense that police force suspects him.

Fail of alley scene.

Fail of all scenes. Complete garbage, fail of writing, directing.

Chris O'Donnell. Wow. Nice to see you again.

Fail of police shootout scene.

Ah…the drugs give them the sight. Get the f*ck outta here.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Changeling, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: J. Michael Straczynski

Director: Clint Eastwood

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue.

Plot: Someone wants to kidnap a child.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Jeffrey Donovan.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of home scenes throughout.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Period pieces are tough, but this movie makes it tougher. Star power allowed it to be made. Obviously, the movie couldn't work in modern times with DNA evidence.

How does the doctor explain him getting shorter?

Fail of all cop/woman scenes.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

And now she's in a psyc ward. What?

Fail of all psyc ward scenes.

Fail of child interview scene.

Police can commit a woman? Oh dear.

Psyc wards drugging people. Yup, sounds about right.

Fail of cop/boss talk scene.

Fail of chief/mayor talk scene.

A 1920s courtroom drama has a limit to its ability to tell a story.

Story not about police corruption, just incompetence. Tough sell.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Journey to the Center of the Earth, 2008: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Michael D. Weiss, Mark Levin, Jennifer Flackett

Director: Eric Brevig

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A university wants to end a man's research.

Story: Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good home scenes throughout.

Good prep vacation scenes.

Fail of woman house scene.

Fail of cave scene.

Good railway scene.

Decent new world adventure scenes throughout.

Fail of sea scene.

Levitating rocks. Oh dear.

Fail of dinosaur scene.

Decent climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Slumdog Millionaire, 2008: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Simon Beaufoy

Director: Danny Boyle

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A teenager wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent childhood scenes throughout.

Running in shit. Jokes.

Excellent music content.

Excellent non-linear approach.

Excellent look at the real Indian life.

Excellent train scene.

Excellent cinematography. Wow. This is the cinematographer you want for your blockbuster film.

Good teenager scenes throughout.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

One of the best movies of all time. Powerful movie.

The Bank Job, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais

Director: Roger Donaldson

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Mob guys wants to collect money.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Peter de Jersey.

Fail of Colin Salmon’s acting.

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of auto scene. Dirty cops work, but not in public.

I'm getting tired of these UK non-linear heist movies.

Fail of cinematography. Stop dollying closer.

Good use of beginning plot as real one, and the other secondary. That was the correct way to write it. But it was done too quickly. Should have spaced it out. Fail of writing, even though based on a true story.

Fail of music content throughout.

Ah…the days where British Intelligence (and all intelligence agencies) use to operate without transparency. Like police, they long for a return to the good ol’ days. But the solution is very easy. Contract out to black ops. If caught deny. Nuff said.

Fail of airport scene.

Skullduggery. British slang. Sigh.

Fail of restaurant scene. A good thief/con artist would know how to read body language and assess the situation properly.

A Black Montessori. Wow. That's something new. Well done.

Fail of dinner/sex scene. Too quick.

Fail of bar office scene.

Fail of dominatrix scene. Again, a smart man would know what's really happening.

Taking pics outside a bank? Of course that's not suspicious.

Decent heist scene.

A Liverpool accent. Oh dear.

Good car scene.

They don't know that the radio is being monitored? Oh dear god.

Intel meetings could have worked with a better writer.

Fail of after ops scene.

Decent climax scene but not enough to pass.

Terrible cinematography throughout.

Good ending.

Baby Mama, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Michael McCullers

Director: Michael McCullers

Dialogue: Pass

"I just don't like your uterus." Decent line, good delivery.

Plot: A woman wants to have a baby.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of Steven Martin’s character.

Fail of Amy Poehler’s character.

Fail of Butler character.

Fail of Karl character.

Tina Fey character was the only good one.

Fail of Sigourney Weaver’s character.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Tina Fey.

Good acting by Steven Martin.

Excellent acting by Sigourney Weaver as usual.

Comments:

Excellent intro with narration.

Excellent baby scene.

Older White women dying to have a baby that won't adopt. Yup, sounds about right.

Good office scene.

You would think that the first impression would have been a red flag. but this is a Hollywood movie.

Fail of woman staying with her.

Fail of press scene.

Good office scene.

Fail of music content throughout.

Fail of club scene.

A yeast ball for the table. Jokes.

Good climax scene.

Fail of court scene.

Fail of ending.

The acting and dialogue is good, but the characters are too weak to pass.

This would have been potential Profit if the budget wasn't $30 million. Way too high.

Superhero Movie, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Craig Mazin

Director: Craig Mazin

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A scientist wants to live forever.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Terrible characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting.

Comments:

Decent bus intro.

Brent Spiner from Star Trek: TNG. Nice to see you again. You keep popping up in this small to medium roles. Kudos.

Fail of scientist lab scene.

Leslie Neilson. Wow. A comedy legend.

Fail of bedroom scene.

Fail of lab scene, aside from the girly scream.

Excellent man-boob scene.

Decent school fair scene.

Excellent street/truck scene.

Fail of home scene.

Fail of Batman parody.

Fail of bank scene.

Fail of doctor scene.

Fail of X-Men parody.

Fail of night time scene, except throwing gasoline.

Fail of Tom Cruise parody.

Fail of lab scene.

Fail of news reporter scene.

Fail of hero fight scene.

Decent street scene.

Fail of kitchen scene.

Good living room fart scene.

Fail of hospital scene.

Excellent funeral scene.

Excellent sex street scene.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

Meet the Spartans, 2008: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer

Director: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Persians want to invade Sparta.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Sean Maguire.

Comments:

Excellent 300 theme.

Good intro.

"If Vietnamese." Jokes.

Excellent father child fight.

Kevin Sorbo. Wow. What a blast from the past.

Excellent gay theme.

Britney spears character. Too cruel.

Fail of judges parody scene.

Excellent ancient prophet scene.

Excellent naked scene.

Excellent judge butt scene.

Fail of "I Will Survive," song scene.

Excellent product placement throughout.

Fail of Paris Hilton scene.

Dance off with no music doesn't work.

Excellent writing and directing.

Good narration song.

Excellent massage scene.

Excellent Xerxes scenes.

Fail of Deal or No Deal scene.

Good rap battle insult.

Fail of bribe/sex scene.

Excellent Xerxes traitor scene. I'm surprised they didn't throw in some river dance.

Fail of queen speech scene.

Oh…what a cute cat.

Sword digging into back. Well done.

Fail of slow motion final battle. Should have made it more gay.

Fail of Ghost Rider parody scene.

Fail of Rocky parody scene.

Fail of video game parody scene.

Fail of Transformers parody scene.

Good climax scene.

Fail of end music video. Not needed.

Weak parodies in the end but overall good and passable.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Alfred Gough, Miles Millar

Director: Rob Cohen

Dialogue: Fail

Dialogue too corny.

Plot: A king wants to rule the world and live forever.

Story: Ambition, Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of most characters except main guy and emperor. The rest are just fluff.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Maria Bello’s acting. Not the right actress for the role.

Good acting by Brendan Fraser as usual.

Excellent acting by Liam Cunningham.

Excellent acting by John Hannah.

Comments:

Good intro. A bit long, close to 10 minutes, but...

Fail of special effects in intro.

Fail of intro of regular era.

Rich White people bored of their lives...oh the tragedy.

Fail of mother occupation. Fail of writing.

Good initial tomb action scene.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of museum scene. Corny dialogue.

Only a White woman knows how to read an ancient Chinese text? Of course that makes sense. And the protector is just watching? Oh dear.

Excellent crystal special effects.

Mucking about? Oy vey, British speech...sigh.

Fail of chase scene.

Fail of regroup scene.

And now we have Yetis. Oh dear.

Excellent snow storm effect.

Excellent wide shot of the army. Kudos to the cinematographer.

Fail of climax scene. Looks terrible.

Fail of emperor effects in the end scene.

Fail of ending.

Valkyrie, 2008: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Christopher McQuarrie, Nathan Alexander

Director: Bryan Singer

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Hitler wants to rule the world.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Tom Cruise as usual.

Excellent acting by Bill Nighy.

Excellent acting by Terence Stamp as usual.

Comments:

Good intro.

Excellent wide shot of scenes throughout. Excellent cinematography throughout.

Excellent music content throughout.

Excellent plane scene.

Excellent office scene.

Good hospital scene.

Good church talk scene.

Excellent meeting plan scene.

Excellent Hitler meet scene.

All excellent scenes after.

Excellent typing scene.

Excellent first battle plan scene.

Excellent meeting scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Very well done. Excellent writing, acting, directing and cinematography. Should have made more money.

One of the best movies of all time.

Zack and Miri Make A Porno, 2008: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Kevin Smith

Director: Kevin Smith

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Two people want a better life.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Craig Robinson.

Excellent acting by Gerry Bednob.

Excellent acting by Elizabeth Banks.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Excellent intro coffee shop scene.

Excellent phone video scene.

Decent high school reunion.

Good solution.

Fail of audition scene.

Good production shot scenes.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Pineapple Express, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg

Director: David Gordon Green

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Murderers want to kill a witness.

Story: Purpose, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Craig Robinson.

Comments:

Fail of stupid intro.

Another stupid comedy. Sigh.

A grown man screwing a high school girl. Well done Hollywood. But I don’t think that the MeToo movement would approve.

Fail of initial locker scene moment. Garbage directing.

How does the cop not see him as she drives up?

Threatening with a cactus. Jokes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of diner ending.

Has some good laughs, but not enough to pass.

The Love Guru, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Mike Myers, Graham Gordy

Director: Marco Schnabel

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A hockey team wants to win.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Mike Myers’ acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Just so you know for sports, Toronto has never been close to winning anything in recent years. The 2019 Raptors win was a fluke. But the leafs haven't won the Stanley cup in over 50 years.

Fail of everything. Fail of writing, directing and acting.

Ah…self help gurus and screwing women who want a spiritual man inside them. Lovely. So many women (both liberal and religious) throw themselves at these gurus.

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How Keith Raniere lured scores of young women into sex slave cult NXIVM

Self-help guru was really a cult leader, who pressured women into sex

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Fail of all guru scenes. Powerfully stupid.

This movie should be direct to video/streaming.

Fail of all hockey guru scenes throughout.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made $40 million proves that God does NOT exist.

$62 million production budget. Paramount Pictures has money to burn.

The Happening, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: M. Night Shyamalan

Director: M. Night Shyamalan

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: People want to survive a chemical toxin.

Story: Survival, Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Complete fail of every scene. Holy f*ck.

Complete fail of plot.

The toxin does what? Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Couldn't maintain suspension of disbelief even in the first few minutes.

Talking to a plastic plant. Jokes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $160 million proves that God does NOT exist.

The X-Files: I Want to Beleive, 2008: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Chris Carter, Frank Spotnitz

Director: Chris Carter

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Someone wants to kidnap an FBI agent.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Excellent FBI search scenes. Well done.

Doctors talking about no treatment, let alone cures? What else is new.

Good intro Mulder scene.

Good FBI office scene.

Good motel room scene.

Fail of car scene.

Fail of church hospital scenes.

Stop trying to pretend you can heal people. Doctors gave up on healing people a long time ago. Today they just treat people. Note the difference.

Good road scene.

Decent bed scene.

Excellent outdoor searching scenes.

Enough with these hospital scenes and stem cell hope. Nonsense even in 2018.

Good apartment/outside apartment scene.

Decent movie, but could have played as a regular X-Files episode.

No one saw him go in. Really? Too unbelievable.

Good chase scene.

You fell in love with his stubbornness? That's a pretty low standard.

Good realization scene.

Good pre-climax scenes.

Good climax scene.

Excellent outside house talk scene.

Good ending.

Seven Pounds, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Grant Nieporte

Director: Gabriele Muccino

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to atone for his crimes.

Story: Character, Purpose

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Woody Harrelson.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of phone scene.

Fail of all work scenes.

Interviewing people to see if they're worthy. Really?

Powerfully stupid movie.

Vegetarian dogs. I feel for you.

Fail of all scenes.

And the plot thickens with the past flashback. Unfortunately, the solution was too stupid.

Good climax scene, but not enough pass.

Fail of ending.

Yes Man, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Nicholas Stoller, Jarrad Paul, Andrew Mogel

Director: Peyton Reed

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good video store scene.

Fail of bar scenes throughout.

Hey, the guy from That '70s Show (Danny Masterson). Wow. What have you been up to? I just checked. Oh dear.

Danny Masterson must stand trial on three rape charges, LA judge rules

Fail of office scenes throughout.

It costs money to show a Saw movie in another movie.

Fail of apartment scene.

Ah…so many lost people. That's what happens with the rise of atheism and no evolutionary purpose to your life. Just saying.

Saying yes to everything. Would that include rape and murder? Nonsense. This movie wouldn't have been made if not for star power.

Fail of all scenes after. Too stupid.

Fail of fight scene.

Excellent old woman apartment scene.

Fail of door scenes throughout.

Yes, they're a pair. Lovely.

Good Japanese woman scene.

Fail of jump scene.

Fail of police scene.

Good apartment scene.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Twilight, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Melissa Rosenberg

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue throughout.

Plot: Rogue vampires want to eat people.

Story: Relationships, Character, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent forest intro.

Oh my god, look at that fake long hair. Wow, what a hippie.

Fail of cafeteria scene.

Can Bella and Cullens be anymore White? Geez. Maybe it’s synonymous for White Hollywood.

Decent school scenes.

Ah…young love.

A woman who can only validate her existence through a heterosexual relationship? Lesbian feminists weep for your child.

Fail of parking lot scene and young love stare. Sigh.

Fail of music content throughout.

Mind stalking. That's a good one.

Compost tea. Lovely.

Of course you're not smart woman. You're in love.

Fail of flashback animal scenes.

Fail of beach scene.

Fail of boat attack scene.

What stupid girl goes out alone in a small town?

I can't read your mind, so that means we're meant to be together. Really?

Fail of forest scene realization.

Interesting how the rain doesn't wash away that pale White makeup.

Crushes the glass salad bowl. Jokes.

Oh…Alice is such a lovable character.

Fail of special effects baseball scene.

Fail of running special effects of climax fight scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Two men open their mouths to each other in anger. Lovely.

Fail of ending.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

Drillbit Taylor, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Kristofor Brown, Seth Rogen

Director: Steven Brill

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Older students want to bully two younger students.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Same clothes. Jokes.

Decent bullying scenes throughout, but some too unbelievable or too cruel.

Good house music video scene.

Running kids over. Yah, that's too much.

Fail of solution interview scene. Too stupid.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of training scenes.

Good freestyle scene. Well done.

Fail of substitute teacher scenes throughout.

All beyond suspension of disbelief.

How much was the music clearance bill? Must have been pretty high.

Ah...the slutty liberal teacher. Yup, sounds about right.

Fail of house scenes throughout.

Fail of principal scene.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

Fool's Gold, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Andy Tennant, John Claflin, Daniel Zelman

Director: Andy Tennant

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A woman wants to divorce her husband.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Should have told past story through scenes. But probably would have cost too much.

Fail of all boat scenes.

Hey, Malcolm-Jamal Warner from The Cosby Show. Nice to see you.

Good mirror scene.

Good divorce scene.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Terrible movie.

Kevin Hart and Donald Sutherland. All the star power couldn't save this movie.

Way too much back history on treasure hunting.

The couple tells the rich man their story while sitting down on a boat. 6 minutes of straight dialogue. Oh dear. Could have been done through action scenes.

Even the gay cook banter can't save this movie.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Weak characters. Fail of writing.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Be Kind Rewind, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Michel Gondry

Director: Michel Gondry

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue. Too stupid.

Plot: A corporation wants to demolish a jazz record store.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

The fail of VHS. Sigh.

A movie about idiots. Sigh.

Excellent ladder camouflage scene. But that's the highlight of the movie.

Demagnetized tapes could have been funnier with a better writer.

I wonder how much the clearance bill was to use the Ghostbusters theme song.

Terrible making movie scene.

Fail of gang in video store scene.

Creative solution, but too stupid.

That's one way to enforce copyright. Reminds me of the Guardian destroying their hard drives after the Snowden leaks.

Footage released of Guardian editors destroying Snowden hard drives, NSA whistleblowers

Good Blackface scene, but could have been better.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending. Good community scene though.

Definitely, Maybe, 2008: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Adam Brooks

Director: Adam Brooks

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A child wants to understand how she came into the world.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good child acting from Abigail Breslin.

Comments:

Good intro.

Interesting school sex parent scene.

Good child home scenes throughout.

Decent campaign scenes throughout.

Fail of rooftop scene.

Decent park scene.

Fail of presentation scene.

One date and already in bed. Gotta love slutty liberal women.

Fail of jewelry store scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Four Christmases, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Matt R. Allen, Caleb Wilson, Jon Lucas, Scott Moore

Director: Seth Gordon

Dialogue: Fail

Weak dialogue throughout.

Plot: A couple doesn't want to see their families at Christmas.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Excellent grandma character.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Reese Witherspoon.

Fail of Jon Favreau’s acting.

Excellent acting by Jon Voight as usual.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

A woman that wants to f*ck like a slut. And women wonder why men don't respect them.

Good airport scene.

Red neck hick family with money. Doesn't make sense.

Shouldn't she know about this?

Funny stuff but too unbelievable. Suspension of disbelief is being stretched.

Fail of kitchen scene.

Fail of satellite scene.

Excellent meeting step mom scene.

Excellent projectile vomit scene. I didn't see that coming.

Fail of bubble castle scene.

Fail of play scene, too stupid.

A lot of wasted comedy potential.

Decent car conversation scene.

Fail of next mother house scene. Wasted comedy potential. Fail of writing.

Fail of game scene.

Fail of car conversation scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending, but not enough to pass.

$80 million production budget. Holy f*ck. Warner Bros. Pictures has money to burn.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Burn After Reading, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

Director: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: CIA wants to fire an analyst.

Story: Character, Relationships, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Brad Pitt as usual.

Comments:

Good aerial intro.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of party scene.

Hey, the woman from House of Cards (Elizabeth Marvel). Nice to see you again.

Good car talk scene.

Fail of divorce prep scenes throughout.

An analyst in denial of his own drinking problem. Oh dear.

Fail of overdramatic sound effects.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of doctors office scene.

"Snapped in my ass." Jokes.

Fail of all fitness scenes. Too stupid.

Good phone scene.

Fail of car talk scene.

Fail of home invasion scene.

Excellent boss/director talk scene. Best scene in the movie.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent boss/director ending, but not enough to pass.

Made of Honor, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Adam Sztykiel, Deborah Kaplan, Harry Elfont

Director: Paul Weiland

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to be with a woman.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Using perfume as mace. That's a good idea. F*ck me, I never thought of that.

Ah...both men and women slutting around. Well done. Lovely empowerment.

Decent party scene.

Waiting in line for baked junk food. F*ck that. Most people have real shit to do.

I already know how this is going to turn out.

For the love of god Hollywood, stop making these sh*tty romance movies. They're so predictable that an AI system could create them from a template.

Fail of gym scenes throughout.

Fail of prep marriage scenes.

Good Scotland dinner scene. Jokes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Confused, dumb and highly educated liberal women. Nuff said.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Sex and the City, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Michael Patrick King

Director: Michael Patrick King

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Four women want to lead independent lives.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Seeing the life of White women elites. Lovely.

Women talking sh*t about men and life. Wouldn’t that be considered hate speech if men did it?

Nice to see Chris Noth before his downfall in 2021.

Chris Noth Accused of Sexual Assault by Two Women

Woman accuses 'Sex and the City' actor Chris Noth of groping

Chris Noth Dumped By Agency In Wake of Sexual Assault Allegations

Fail of most scenes. Too boring. Fail of writing.

How was this made into a movie. Brand power.

One Black woman for a few minutes…stuck with a Black man. Well done Hollywood for the tokenism.

White guy with a baby. Jokes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Ghost Town, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: David Koepp, John Kamps

Director: David Koepp

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Ghosts want a man to make amends for them.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Ricky Gervais’ acting.

Excellent acting by Greg Kinnear as usual.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Fail of almost all dental scenes throughout.

Decent hospital scene.

Plot is too stupid.

People who refuse to leave because of their baggage. Wasted good ghost space.

Fail of music content.

Fail of hospital scene.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of lecture scene.

Excellent dog bath scene.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Decent ending.

Milk, 2008: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Dustin Lance Black

Director: Gus Van Sant

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: People want to get rid of gay people in their community.

Story: Ethics, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Sean Penn.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good intimate/sex scenes throughout.

Nice shots of 35mm film.

Good historical shots throughout.

Queer as a three dollar bill. Jokes.

Good campaign scenes throughout.

Good protest scene.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Marley and Me, 2008: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Scott Frank, Don Roos

Director: David Frankel

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A wife wants a family.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting all around.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good car scene.

Good interview scene.

Good puppy scene.

Good car puppy scene.

Excellent morning bedroom scene.

Good beach scene.

Good house scenes throughout.

Good training scene.

Excellent car dog walking scene. Well done.

Good multiple clip scenes. Very well done.

Excellent sex scene.

Excellent living room crying scene.

Excellent Marley babysitting scene. The dog is so cute and loving.

Excellent family problem scenes.

Good dog in field scenes.

Excellent climax scene.

Good ending.

Excellent movie. Should have made more money.

Not one of the best movies of all time, but I strongly recommend watching it.

Semi-Pro, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Scot Armstrong

Director: Kent Alterman

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: An organization wants to dissolve a basketball team.

Story: Character, Relationships, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Another stupid funny movie. Oh dear.

Fail of all basketball scenes throughout.

Good bar scene.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of poker scene.

Powerfully stupid movie.

Fail of bus scene.

Fail of all training scenes throughout.

How did this movie get a wide release? Should have been direct to video/streaming.

Fail of bear fight scene.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing, directing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

RocknRolla, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Guy Ritchie

Director: Guy Ritchie

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A mob boss wants to con people out of property and money.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Way too many characters.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Garbage characters. Fail of writing.

Fail of backhand scene.

Fail of weird dance scene.

Fail of street fight scene.

Powerfully stupid movie.

Writer trying to imitate other movies. Sigh.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Role Models, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: David Wain, Timothy Dowling, Paul Rudd, Ken Marino

Director: David Wain

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to a better life.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Another stupid funny movie. Christ.

Truck mounting a horse. Jokes.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of video scene.

Decent Black kid/older White guy scenes together, but not enough to pass.

Solution is too stupid.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

The Spirit, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Frank Miller

Director: Frank Miller

Dialogue: Fail

Some of the worst dialogue I've ever heard.

Plot: An evil genius scientist wants to be a god.

Story: Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Gabriel Macht’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of vision intro.

Fail of all fight scenes.

Fail of all vigilante scenes throughout.

Fail of all dialogue, acting, directing, characters, cinematography.

I don't know what this movie wanted to be, but it was a complete failure.

A Sin City imitation but without a real plot? Sigh.

Ah yes, the octopus. Of course.

Fail of flashback scene.

How long is this man going to shoot water?

Samuel L Jackson's role reminds me of him in Hateful 8 (2016).

Fail of all angel of death scenes.

"Egg on my face." Oh dear god.

Fail of all special effects throughout.

Decent flashback.

Fail of all music content.

Only real diamonds catch the light. Well done for diamond marketing and making men break the bank to provide his woman with diamonds, even though it’s all bullsh*t marketing.

How a De Beers Ad Campaign Invented the Diamond Engagement Ring

Ah…young love. Maybe in my next life.

Fail of samurai parody scene.

Fail of room investigator scene.

A perfect ass. Well done. That was the only joke that worked in this movie.

Ah yes, do me Mr. Bad boy vigilante. Get a vibrator, popcorn, turn on Netflix and call it a night.

Fail of all cop scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of poker scene.

Fail of every scene.

Christ, how did I get to this point in my life where I have to review The Spirit? F*ck sakes.

Good head foot scene.

Fail of vigilant hot woman scene.

Nice way to use a belt. Well done.

What is she supposed to be, a gypsy?

A Black man in a Nazi uniform? Nice try but doesn't work.

Fail of capture torture scene.

Fail of trade scene.

Fail of climax fight scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made almost $40 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Sex Drive, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Sean Anders, John Morris

Director: Sean Anders

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A guy wants to be with a girl.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of home scene.

Fail of car scene.

Fail of most mall scenes.

It's just too sad. Desperate boys trying to have sex. Sadly, it's true. Liberal women do respond to men treating them like sh*t. And many liberal women today love to be submissive sexually because that represents empowerment. Oh dear.

Decent party scene.

Fail of road scene. It's not that difficult to stick your head out the window to see.

Fail of trailer sex scene.

Fail of Amish ride scene.

Good dance scene.

Decent brother freaking out scene.

Fail of performance scene.

Fail of animal road scene.

What a p*ssy.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Step Brothers, 2008: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Will Ferrell, Adam McKay

Director: Adam McKay

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Parents want their adult children to leave the house.

Story: Family, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

A young woman screwing an old man. Well done Hollywood. Sticking it to the MeToo movement because they ruined your casting couch.

Decent to good home scenes throughout.

Good car scene.

Good tree house scene.

A woman who wants the unsuccessful man. Oh dear.

Stupid funny, but it works in this one.

Nazi and KKK uniform. Jokes.

The parent characters are the ones that really pass this movie.

Good sex table family scene.

Decent climax scene.

Excellent ending. Should have made it to Potential Profit at the least.

Continued in Part 2.