Hollywood Movie Review Series:

*Movies are in no particular order. Please use Crtl F on your keyboard to find a particular movie. Movies that got a wide release in the year after their first screening are listed in the next year. For example, 300 (2006) is listed in 2007 because it only got a wide release in 2007.

*Don't worry about spoilers. You can read the review of any movie without being afraid of spoilers and enjoy the movie if you watch it. I intentionally made sure not to ruin a movie by revealing a hidden plot or hidden climax scene. I simply pass or fail each scene and comment on them.

The Departed, 2006: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: William Monahan

Director: Martin Scorsese

Dialogue: Pass

Excellent dialogue throughout

"What are you, one of those health freaks? Go f*ck yourself." Good line, excellent delivery.

"How's your mother? "She's on her way out." "We all are, act accordingly." Good line and delivery.

"If you're not being run by us, you're being run by someone else." Good line and delivery.

Plot: A mob boss wants to sell stolen microprocessors.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

All excellent characters, except psychiatrist woman.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Alec Baldwin as usual.

Good acting by Matt Damon.

Excellent acting by Mark Walberg.

Good acting by Jack Nicholson.

Excellent acting by Martin Sheen as usual.

Comments:

Fail of amateur video intro, but good intro overall.

Good police scene training.

Good interview scene.

Excellent hospital scene.

Good prison scene.

Good bar scene.

Excellent police explanation scene.

Fail of restaurant scene.

"Who says I want to see you again?" Ladies, that's an example of flipping the power dynamics.

Irish mobsters treating women like dirt. Yup, sounds about right.

Good mobster scenes throughout.

Good cop lawyer scene.

Good action scenes throughout.

Irish men who can't get it up. My sympathies (no sarcasm intended).

Fail of psychotherapy scene. Could have been much better.

Excellent police stakeout scene.

Fail of parking lot scene.

Decent bar scene.

Decent apartment scene.

Fail of attack scene.

Fail of opera scene.

Fail of sex scene.

Good theatre scene.

Excellent street scene.

Fail of bar scene. Too slow.

Excellent street scene.

Excellent police scene.

Good hideout scene. Could have been better.

Good phone scene.

Decent pre-climax scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Good realization scene.

Excellent ending.

Scary Movie 4, 2006: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Jim Abrahams, Craig Mazin, Pat Proft

Director: David Zucker

Dialogue: Pass

"Were you naked?" "No." "Thank god, some good news at last. Get her a souvenir." Good line and delivery.

Plot: An evil spirit wants to kill people.

Story: Family

Characters: Pass

Barely passable.

Fail of Craig Bierko’s acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Acting: Pass

Weak acting overall.

Comments:

Excellent jigsaw parody scene.

Excellent Viagra scene.

Fail of dock loading scene.

Excellent Brokeback Mountain parody scene.

Decent Asian kid scene. Could have been better.

Good house scene.

Good Ring parody scenes.

Fail of backyard scene.

Excellent shower scene.

Good attack scene.

Fail of boxing scene.

Good lightning backyard scene.

Fail of War of Worlds parody scenes.

Fail of school parody.

Detroit before and after the attack. Jokes.

Fail of White House scene.

Good woman ambush scene.

Fail of old town scene.

Fail of court scene.

Good UN naked scene.

Excellent Michael Jackson scene. Very well done.

Fail of old town scene.

Good alien invasion scene.

Excellent parody climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Sad how low the Scary Movie series has fallen. Barely passable with 3 writers.

X-Men: The Last Stand, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Simon Kinberg, Zak Penn

Director: Brett Ratner

Dialogue: Fail

Weak writing.

Plot: US govt wants to cure mutants with a drug.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of Beast character.

Fail of Juggernaut character.

Fail of Phoenix character.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Excellent child bathroom scene.

Fail of intro action scene.

Ah…another woman after her man. Do what must be done.

Decent Mystique scene.

Good teaching scene.

Fail of Alcatraz scene.

Fail of church scene.

Excellent highway scene. Very well done.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Fail of Jean/Phoenix water scene. Doesn't make sense unless you have flashbacks from previous movie to explain. Xavier shouldn't have explained it.

Decent Alcatraz scene.

Nice soft core sex scene, but I didn't see him asking her permission. That's a no no in the post-MeToo world.

Good Jean house scene.

Fail of outside fight.

Fail of funeral scene.

Fail of forest scene.

Terrible dialogue throughout.

Technically, if everyone got the cure, there would be no mutant slavery camps. See, no one thinks about the possible benefits.

Good forest fight scene, but weak writing.

Fail of Magneto scene. As if he couldn’t anticipate it.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent special effects all round.

New implied meaning of dust to dust.

Excellent ending.

I wanted to pass this movie but the Phoenix story didn't make sense. I can’t pass bad writing.

Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest, 2006: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio

Director: Gore Verbinski

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: British govt wants to capture a pirate.

Story: Character, Ambition

Characters: Pass

Good characters all around.

Excellent idiot pair of characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Johnny Depp as usual.

Comments:

Decent intro. Weak dialogue.

Fail of ship scene.

Good prison scene.

Excellent ocean/coffin scene.

Good ship scene.

Decent dock/office scene.

Excellent ship scene.

Well done for ship destruction scene.

Good jail scene.

Good sparrow locking scenes.

Good island scenes throughout.

Excellent aerial shots.

Excellent office dock scene.

Good idiot boat scene.

A cage out of bones. That's fabulous.

Excellent swinging/climbing scene. Very well done.

Excellent escape scene.

Excellent ship scene.

Good swamp scene.

Ah…the typical Black sorceress. We need some diversity in this movie so I'll let it pass.

Good sorceress scenes throughout.

Good night ship scenes throughout.

Good bar scene.

Good father/son scene.

Decent office dock scene.

Good daytime ship scene.

Good Kraken scenes.

Fail of initial island scene, better in the forest.

Excellent wheel scene. Best scene in the movie.

Excellent Flying Dutchman rising ship scenes.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

One of the best movies of all time.

Mission Impossible III, 2006: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: J. J. Abrams, Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci

Director: J. J. Abrams

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A terrorist group wants a biological weapon.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Good house scene.

Good convenience store scene.

Good op scenes.

Excellent meeting room scene.

Excellent past training scenes.

Good tech scene.

Good hospital talk scene.

Excellent Vatican infiltration.

Good music content throughout.

Excellent transformation from repair man to priest scene.

Excellent Vatican scenes throughout.

Excellent bathroom scene.

Good airport scene.

Excellent bridge attack scene. Very well done.

Excellent interrogation scene.

Good elevator scene.

Good room planning scene.

Good chase scene.

Excellent interrogation scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

3 writers. Well done.

One of the best movies of all time.

She's the Man, 2006: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Karen McCullah Lutz, Kirsten Smith

Director: Andy Fickman

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A school wants to cut out girls soccer.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Amanda Bynes.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good house scenes throughout.

Excellent solution scenes throughout. Jokes.

Good bathroom scene.

Fail of dream scene.

Excellent bar scene with excellent music content.

How much was the music clearance bill for this movie?

Good school scenes throughout.

Good fair scene.

Good date scene.

Excellent bathroom scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Big Momma's House 2, 2006: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Don Rhymer

Director: John Whitesell

Dialogue: Pass

"I bet on your wedding night he drugged you and embedded a tracking device in your ass." Decent line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A terrorist wants to hack into the US intelligence network.

Story: Relationships, Family, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of costume scene.

Fail of FBI scenes throughout.

Fail of house scenes throughout.

Fail of van listening scene.

Good interview scene.

Suspension of disbelief already necessary. Oh dear.

Good kitchen scene.

Oh dear that dog is ugly. Gotta be honest.

Boy throwing himself off a bed. Jokes.

Good big momma house scenes throughout.

Good security frisk scene.

Fail of idiot agent scenes throughout.

The agent in charge didn't have to be super hot. Eye candy for the men. Well done Hollywood. It seems to have worked.

Excellent teaching dancing scene.

Decent wife FBI scene.

Good morning scene.

Excellent house dance scene. Very well done.

Excellent changing room scene.

Eating sand. Builds the immune system.

Good beach scene.

Good bingo scene.

Good club scene.

Good climax scene.

Excellent dance ending.

Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Joel Cohen, Alec Sokolow

Director: Tim Hill

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to marry his girlfriend.

Story: Relationships, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Billy Connolly.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Disturbing pet owners that treat their pets like kids. Oh dear.

Excellent dog/trouser scene.

Servants for royal cats. Sigh. Stupid funny.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Sport fans in UK pubs. and UK people wonder why they are the capital of mass surveillance and pedophilia. Like China, I hope that I never step foot in that country.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Excellent trouser scene in the end.

Nanny McPhee, 2006: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Emma Thompson

Director: Kirk Jones

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Children want to get rid of a nanny.

Story: Family, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

What children puts a child in pot? Too much.

Excellent father house scenes throughout.

These White children just need a good spanking from a Black mother. That'll keep them in line. But we can't do that because of p*ssyass liberal policies. Sigh.

Oh my god, I've never seen a more sad looking dog than that (aside from the starving dogs in Venezuela).

Decent kitchen scene.

Good bed scene.

Good morning scene.

Decent old woman father scene.

The donkey scene was too much.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

A Prairie Home Companion, 2006: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Garrison Keillor

Director: Robert Altman

Dialogue: Fail

I'm sure it's great dialogue for another era, but mere mortals like myself can't appreciate it.

"Texans. Sure. They talk funny and their eyes don't focus, and their flesh is rotting and falling off. But hey. You know. So what?" Good line and delivery.

Plot: A corporation wants to buy a theatre.

Story: Family

Characters: Fail

Fail of Asphodel character.

Fail of Axeman character.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of diner scene. Yes, I get it's a homage to the good old days. But it’s lost on most people in 2006, let alone 2018. $26 million at the box office. Nuff said.

Good narration though. It's necessary.

Fail of dressing room scene.

Fail of dialogue. Not boring, but flat.

Fail of detective office talk scene.

Great acting, but the characters are too limited.

Suicidal young beautiful White girl. Cry my a river.

This may have passed without Asphodel character.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Deja Vu, 2006: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Bill Marsilii, Terry Rossio

Director: Tony Scott

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Someone wants to enable terrorism in the US.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good ship scene.

Excellent investigative scenes throughout.

Plot and solution too unbelievable, but still passable on the strength of Denzel Washington's acting.

Good car chase time travel scene.

Fail of prison interview scene.

Good past time travel solution scenes throughout.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

I can understand why audiences didn't like this movie, but Denzel’s acting is solid enough to pass this movie.

16 Blocks, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Richard Wenk

Director: Richard Donner

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Dirty cops wants to stop a suspect from testifying.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of main characters.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Bruce Willis’ acting.

Excellent acting by main bad cop.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of precinct scene.

Fail of music content.

Fail of attack scene.

In broad daylight. Really? No masks?

Good bar scene. Interesting.

Fail of subway scene.

Fail of search/escape scenes throughout.

Dirty cops. That's the norm. Most cops are corrupt and scum. You just need to give them the right opportunity. See for yourself.

50 charges laid against cop and 10 others in Toronto-area tow truck corruption ring

Corrupt Hamilton police officer sentenced to more than 12 years in prison

Toronto police officer among 4 arrested in ongoing corruption investigation

What We Can Learn About Reform From 'America's Most Corrupt Police Squad"

How Police Unions and Arbitrators Keep Abusive Cops on the Street

Corrupt Police Need Federal Oversight

How a Deadly corrupt Police Force Ruled Vallejo California

We found 85,000 cops who've been investigated for misconduct. Now you can read their records

The Police Are Still Out of Control, frank serpico, corrupt police

I used to be a police chief. This is why it's so hard to fire bad cops. fire bad cops

NIAGARA BLUES: Niagara Regional Police has history of corruption, brutality

Never trust the police. You may have to interact with them in some manner, but never trust them to do the ethical or right thing.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Good standoff scene.

Fail of bus scene.

Good paramedic talk scene.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

Crank, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor

Director: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Thugs want to kill an assassin.

Story: Survival, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Interesting intro. Well done.

Fail of flashback scenes.

A car in an escalator. Jokes.

Decent pool scene.

Fail of amateur cinematography style of shots.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of almost all scenes. Powerfully stupid.

It could work, but the dual scene shots don't work.

Fail of hospital scene. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Good boner scene, but could have been better.

Decent woman scenes.

Kills the bird. Too much.

Doing her right in the street, with Chinese people watching. Holy f*ck. Very well done. That was a perfect scene. The moment was priceless. Oh my god. If I could pass a movie based on one scene, this would be it. But as a writer, I can't. Not with these garbage characters.

But I don't think the MeToo movement would take too kindly to that scene. She resisted at first but his manly desires pushed him to continue, and then she loved it. Oh dear.

Fail of video game titles.

In the sewing machine. Too cruel, but well done.

In the car? This is like a dirty White trailer trash movie.

Assassins valuing the White man's sex stamina. Oh dear.

Fail of car phone scene.

Turtle sex was unnecessary.

Fail of elevator scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

ATL, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Tina Gordon Chism

Director: Chris Robinson

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Character, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of car scene.

Fail of school scenes throughout.

Fail of narration throughout.

Fail of diner scene.

And then it's roller dancing. What?

How much was the music clearance bill? Must have been high.

Weak writing. Typical stereotypes, aside from roller dancing.

"I'm just here to train hoos." And the Black community wonders why White people hate them.

Good dancing, but I don't rate musicals or dancing movies.

No real plot. Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Usual broken family scenes. Yup, sounds about right.

Ah, the rich and poor Blacks. Usual conflict scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Madea's Family Reunion, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Tyler Perry

Director: Tyler Perry

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Multiple plots.

Story: Family, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of dreamlike intro.

Fail of spa scene.

Excellent strip scene.

Another Black women who stays in an abusive relationship. Yawn. A Black mother who turns a blind eye to it. Yup, sounds about right.

Fail of court scene.

Fail of car scene.

Good house lawn scene.

Fail of bus scene.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of bus scene.

Fail of park scene.

Flat movie. Fail of writing and directing.

Good bar scene.

Excellent house talk scene.

Fail of night scene.

Good kitchen scene.

Fail of office scene.

Good apartment scene.

Excellent room talk scene.

Excellent outside girl drink scene.

Fail of kitchen scene.

Fail of anger fight scene.

Fail of bell scene. Oh dear god.

Fail of kitchen scene.

Excellent wedding scene.

"I shot Tupak." Jokes. Well done.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Decent ending.

Running Scared, 2006: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Wayne Kramer

Director: Wayne Kramer

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Drug dealers want to hide guns.

Story: Family, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Good shooting scene.

Grabbing a woman from behind and laying into her. I don't think the MeToo movement would be happy about the lack of verbal consent.

Good family home scenes throughout.

Good visualization scene throughout.

Beating a woman. Well done Hollywood. Yes, the public clearly needs more of this to empower women.

Good house attack scene.

Good pimp convenience store scene.

Weird movie, but I like it.

Multiple perspectives. Nice.

Good foster care scene.

At least one photograph. Very smart.

Well done, that's an empowered woman.

Fail of climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Weird movie, but I liked it. Should have made more money, at least to Potential Profit.

Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj, 2006: PASS

Unknown (most likely Epic Commercial Failure)

Writer: David Drew Gallagher

Director: Mort Nathan

Dialogue: Pass

"You're sweet. You're like a horny little care bear." Good line and delivery.

"Stop staring at her tits and drink." Good line, excellent delivery.

"You saying that I'm firing blanks? I have fathered three children." Excellent line and delivery.

Plot: A fraternity wants to get rid of a pledge.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro plane scene. Very well done.

Excellent letter meeting scene.

Good intro of loser group.

Good ballroom scene.

Fail of badminton scene.

Diarrhea face. Jokes.

Fail of Zorro parody scene.

Excellent bus scene. Horny care bear. Jokes.

Fail of poetry scene.

Excellent games competition scenes throughout.

Decent paintball scene.

Fail of debate competition scene.

Excellent dog show scene.

Good party scene.

Knocks her out with his d*ck. Jokes. I mean…how disrespectful. Shame on you.

Excellent dad talk scene.

Excellent slutty pinball machine.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Only $6 million in box office revenue. The audience was too cruel.

Solid movie.

All the King's Men, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Steven Zaillian

Director: Steven Zaillian

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to be governor.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Weak characters.

Acting: Pass

Good acting all around.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of car scene.

Can Hollywood ever end its love affair with period pieces? Christ.

Ah…print journalism. Just die already. It only exists because of senior citizens and universities. But now that the Chinese bioweapon has hit (sorry, COVID-19), that audience is quickly evaporating.

Fail of all journalism scenes.

Fail of almost all scenes. Beautiful cars though.

Fail of campaign scenes throughout.

Fail of flashback scenes.

Decent speech scenes throughout.

Fail of lunch scene.

Fail of personal woman plot.

Excellent night outside house scene. The only good scene in the movie.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Zoom, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Adam Rifkin, David Berenbaum

Director: Peter Hewitt

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A super villain wants to destroy the world.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Fail of Chevy Chase’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of comic book and military intro.

Fail of woman car hit scene.

Fail of auto shop scene.

"Why is the green dress talking?" Referring to a woman as an object. Oh dear.

Fail of girl trick or treating scene.

Hey, the girl from House of Cards (Kate Mara). I keep seeing you in so many movies. Kudos.

Good high school cafeteria scene.

Fail of classroom scene.

Fail of pool scene.

Fail of audition scenes.

I can't help but notice that all the superheroes are White. Well done Hollywood.

Waste of comedy potential.

Good cafeteria scene.

Fail of all training scenes.

Powerfully stupid movie.

Complete fail of writing, directing.

Fail of all scenes.

Fail of Wendy's takeout scenes.

Fail of jail scene.

Fail of skunk scene.

Mind sight. How about plain old x-ray vision.

Fail of breakout scenes.

She blows? I'll be kind and leave out the sexual innuendo for the sake of the children.

Fail of climax battle scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $13 million proves that God DOES exist.

$75 million budget. Holy f*ck. Sony Pictures Releasing has money to burn.

Jackass Number Two, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: 12 writers

Director: Jeff Tremaine

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A group of friends want a better life.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Even though it's not really applicable.

Comments:

Fail of everything.

Should have been direct to video/streaming.

Even the stupidity of dumb actions from crazy men has limits.

Note, there's no visible minorities. Probably because they wouldn't be dumb enough to do such things.

This movie shouldn't have gotten a wide release, nor should it have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $80 million proves that God does NOT exist.

12 writers. Way too many cooks in the kitchen.

United 93, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Paul Greengrass

Director: Paul Greengrass

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Terrorists want to hijack a plane.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of most scenes.

A lot of regular day to day. Yah, we all know it. We don't need to see that much to set the tone.

The movie isn't from any major perspective. Just mini perspectives of other characters. Writer should have focused perspective on one or two characters.

Fail of writing.

Fail all scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Harsh Times, 2006: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: David Ayer

Director: David Ayer

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Military veterans want to get a job back home.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro. Wrong music content.

Fail of music content throughout.

Watching military veterans lose it isn't cool.

Fail of almost all scenes. This movie can't compare to 2012 End of Watch.

Fail of street fight scene.

Rest of the movie is flat.

Fail of writing.

Marijuana counts as a serious problem? Oh yah, it's a 2005/2006 movie.

Back and forth bullsh*t relationship stuff doesn’t work.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Excellent ending.

The Marine, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Michelle Gallagher, Alan B. McElroy

Director: John Bonito

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Thieves want to kidnap a hostage.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

One badass marine killing Arab terrorists. Sigh.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Powerfully stupid.

Fail of home scenes.

Fail of restaurant shoot out scene.

Plot made up as it goes. Is the writer even trying?

Powerfully stupid movie.

Fail of building fight scene.

Fail of gas station scene.

Gotta get back the princess. Sigh.

This movie should have been direct to video/streaming.

How did this piece of garbage movie get a wide release?

Fail of writing, directing, acting.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $25 million proves that God DOES exist.

Last Holiday, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Jeffrey Price, Peter S. Seaman

Director: Wayne Wang

Dialogue: Pass

"You're scared of some man getting hold of that booty of yours." Excellent line, good delivery.

Plot: A boss wants employees to sell products.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Timothy Hutton’s acting.

Fail of Alicia Witt’s acting.

Decent acting by Queen Latifah. But I felt that her character prevented her from showing her real acting skills.

Excellent acting by Gerard Depardieu.

Comments:

Good intro with scenery.

Good store scene.

Ah…the decline of retail. Gotta adapt or you’ll get left behind.

This movie would have benefited from funny future possibilities in conversations, so many missed comedic opportunities.

No character development. Fail of writing.

Fail of real plot, decent solution. Nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe that was the point. But if so, it didn't work for the audience.

$45 million budget. For what?

Fail of office talk scene.

Good church scene.

Ah…visible minority Christians turn to god when they have fatal conditions because they believe they're special. And they believe they're special because it says so in the scriptures. In reality, you're f*cked just like everyone else, not including rich people who use cryogenics to freeze their body. They're lucky assholes...until someone finds out where they're stored and pulls the plug and they get to experience death again.

Fail of airplane scene.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of hospital scene.

Fail of swim scene.

Fail of elevator scene.

Fail of massage scene.

Fail of practically every scene. Fail of writing, directing, acting.

Fail of base jumping scene.

Fail of casino scene.

Fail of road scenes after.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

The Guardian, 2006: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Ron L. Brinkerhoff

Director: Andrew Davis

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A coast guard wants a better life.

Story: Purpose, Ambition

Characters: Pass

Good characters throughout.

Fail of girlfriend character. Not needed.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Kevin Costner.

Fail of Ashton Kutcher’s acting. Not the right actor for role.

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent outdoor shot. That's how you do it. One scene that presents one story, next scene presents a different story. Basic writing.

Excellent ocean scene.

Coast guard speech could have been better with a better actor.

Fail of dream scene.

Good first outdoor pep talk scene.

Excellent swim test scenes throughout.

Good bar scene.

Excellent training scenes throughout.

Fail of Kutcher blowup scenes.

Fail of Kutcher/girlfriend scenes.

Good Costner bar scene.

Decent bar scene.

Good jail scene.

Good office scene.

Fail of next bar scene.

Excellent swim test scene.

Clearwater, Florida. You mean the city that Scientology owns?

Scientology's corruption In Clearwater, Florida

Decent grad scene.

Good real life scene.

Decent flashback scene.

Decent ex-wife scene, could have used a bit more prep prior to the scene.

While Kutcher is not the right actor, the movie is still passable because of the characters and Costner’s acting.

Decent climax scene.

Idiot fishing boats in treacherous seas? Let the sea take them and wipe some human incompetence from the Earth.

Good real life scene.

Cheesy ending, but still good.

Girlfriend ending not needed.

Accepted, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Adam Cooper, Bill Collage, Mark Perez

Director: Steve Pink

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Parents want their son to get into college.

Story: Character, Relationships, Purpose.

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting from Gerard Butler.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent family dinner scene.

Fail of outdoor party scene.

Powerfully stupid solution. Creative but too unbelievable. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Yes, I know that all post-secondary education is complete garbage, but this isn't that much better.

Fail of all prep college scenes throughout.

Fail of all college scenes throughout.

Fail of speech scene.

Fail of almost every scene.

Stupid funny. Sigh. When will Hollywood stop making these crappy movies? Never.

Another American Pie imitation movie along with the music. Sigh.

Fail of sister scene.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of confrontation scene.

Fail of climax court scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Blood Diamond, 2006: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Charles Leavitt, Marshall Herskovitz

Director: Edward Zwick

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: African warlords want to control people and resources.

Story: Character, Family, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Djimon Hounsou as usual.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good warlord scenes throughout.

Excellent diamond slave mining scene.

Good background plot of diamond industry panel.

Good airstrip scene.

Diamonds in goats. Yikes.

Excellent jail scene.

Decent outdoor bar scene.

Good military friends scenes throughout.

Good bar scene.

Good conflict war scenes throughout.

Good search scenes throughout.

Excellent fence scene.

Good diamond explanation scene.

Conditioning to be expendable soldiers. It's the same for all soldiers no matter the country. They’re all expendable assets.

Good night camp talk scene.

Good fight scene.

Good night fire talk scene.

Fail of music content.

Good warlord capture scene.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

One of the best movies of all time. Should have made more money.

Click, 2006: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Steve Koren, Mark O'Keefe

Director: Frank Coraci

Dialogue: Pass

Excellent dialogue throughout.

Plot: A father wants to be financially successful.

Story: Character, Family

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters all around.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Christopher Walken

Excellent acting by Jennifer Coolidge as usual.

Comments:

This is one of Adam Sandler's best movies.

Excellent intro.

Excellent Asian family scene.

Excellent solution to plot.

Excellent flashback scenes throughout.

Excellent past girlfriend scene. Well done. Should have gone for one more. Rule of 3s.

Excellent music content throughout.

Excellent Asian business scene.

Excellent David Hasselhoff scene.

Excellent father son business flashback.

Excellent climax scene. I was near tears.

Excellent ending.

One of the best movies of all time. Excellent writing, acting, directing. Only made it to Potential Profit because the budget was way too high.

Casino Royale, 2006: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Neal Purvis, Robert Wade, Paul Haggis

Director: Martin Campbell

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A banker wants to fund terrorist organizations.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Giancarlo Giannini.

Comments:

Good noir style intro.

Good construction fight scene.

Decent airport silent fight but too unbelievable.

Excellent Vesper train intro scene.

Good street/restaurant scene.

Excellent elevator/room scene. Well done.

A CPR machine. Not exactly a signature Bond tool.

Just wondering, why does the Black poker guy look like an obese slob?

Fail of car chase scene.

Good interrogation scene.

Decent romance sex scenes.

Good street scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Passed with 3 writers. Well done.

Miami Vice, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Michael Mann

Director: Michael Mann

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue. Just terrible.

Plot: Columbians and neo-Nazis wants to smuggle drugs to the US.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

For all actor actors/actresses.

Comments:

Good speed boat intro.

Fail of club scene.

And the music clearance bill begins.

Fail of dual car/building scene.

Fail of car street deal scene.

Fail of cinematography for almost all scenes. Looks very weird.

Fail of tone of movie.

Fail almost all scenes.

Good condo scene.

Ah…Black on Black romance. Hollywood can't allow interracial dating, even though race "doesn’t really exist."

Fail of basement scene. The dialogue and weak acting kills the movie.

Fail of car scene.

Fail of limo scene.

Good house scene. Good strategy.

Fail of club scene.

And the music clearance bill keeps increasing.

Fail of all other scenes. Christ.

Decent shower scene.

Fail of hanger meeting scene.

God this is terrible writing.

Fail of bed scene.

Fail of music content.

Fail of house infiltration scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

This movie had great potential. Instead, it was a cataclysmic failure.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

Eragon, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Peter Buchman

Director: Stefen Fangmeier

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: An evil king wants to rule people.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting. Jeremy Irons is the exception.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Plot completely unbelievable, too stupid.

Grows to full size in a few seconds. Really?

Fail of almost all scenes. Complete fail of writing and directing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made $250 million proves that God does NOT exist.

V for Vendetta, 2006: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Lana Wachowski, Lilly Wachowski

Director: James McTeigue

Dialogue: Pass

Excellent V dialogue.

Plot: UK govt wants to control its people.

Story: Character, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Weak characters except V.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Hugo Weaving.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Dystopia seems unbelievable. But I’ll let it go since it’s the UK, the surveillance and pedophile capital of the world.

Decent date scene.

Decent studio scene.

Good V killing scenes throughout.

Excellent transformation of woman throughout.

Decent climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Barely passable. Good ideas, but weak implementation.

The Da Vinci Code, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Akiva Goldsman

Director: Ron Howard

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A group wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Fail

Fail of Tom Hanks’ acting. Not the right person for the role.

Fail of Audrey Tautou’s acting.

Fail of Paul Bettany’s acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Fail of Alfred Molina’s acting.

At least Ian Mckellan’s acting was good.

Comments:

Good dual scene intro.

Fail of room scene.

Fail of music content throughout.

Interesting elevator scene, but what's it for?

Fail of plane scene.

Interesting phone message scene.

Fail of bathroom scene.

The acting fails everything.

Looking into the hidden meaning of paintings. Sigh. Yes, some have hidden meaning. Others have nothing and are meant to be taken at face value or interpreted by the viewer.

Stab a painting for the gun. Oh dear god.

Fail of escape scene.

Good flashback scenes. Excellent tone and cinematography.

Decent church scene.

Fail of park scene.

Good past scene cinematography throughout.

Fail of room scene.

Killing a nun. That's not cool. Unless they're enabling sexual abuse.

German nuns accused of enabling child sex abuse by priests, german catholic church pedophilia

Fail of secret church meeting scene.

Fail of bank scene.

Interesting key sequence thing.

Excellent inner key shot. Very well done.

Fail of gate scene.

Fail of house attack scene.

Fail of all investigative scenes.

Fail of plane scene. Oh dear god it's terrible.

Fail of Vatican scene.

Fail of all acting, writing.

Fail of plane hangar scene.

Again, the past flashbacks look beautiful but not enough to pass the movie.

Fail of church scene.

Decent car scene.

Fail of pre-climax scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close. The book was much better.

Night at the Museum, 2006: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Thomas Lennon, Robert Ben Garant

Director: Shawn Levy

Dialogue: Pass

"That is a 20ft jackal staring at you. Don't make eye contact." Decent line, good delivery

Plot: A man wants a better life for his family.

Story: Family, Character.

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Ben Stiller.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of interview scene.

Fail of interview job scene.

Unbelievable magic, but Ben Stiller's acting makes it work. And the characters are excellent as well.

Good dinosaur scenes throughout.

Excellent mini people scenes throughout.

Excellent tire deflation scene. Best scene of the movie. Couldn't find it on YouTube.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Excellent movie.

Excellent writing.

Borat, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Sacha Baron Cohen, Peter Baynham, Anthony Hines, Dan Mazer

Director: Larry Charles

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants a better life for his country.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Decent intro.

Decent town scenes throughout.

Fail of subway scenes.

Good NYC scenes throughout.

Fail of humor workshop scene.

Fail of interview of women scene.

Fail of driver training scene.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Stupid funny movies…I can't get into them.

Garbage writing, directing, cinematography, acting.

Fail of cowboy scenes.

Fail of black thug scenes.

Afraid of Jews. Doesn't work. Moving on.

Fail of dinner scene.

Good naked fight scene.

Fail of RV scene.

Good Christian scene. Best scene of the movie.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Fail of everything.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Nacho Libre, 2006: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Jared Hess, Jerusha Hess, Mike White

Director: Jared Hess

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to be with a woman.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of acting all around.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of bedroom scene.

Fail of all lunch feeding scenes throughout.

Fail of all scenes.

Another stupid funny movie. Sigh.

Should have been direct to video/streaming

Fail of training scenes.

Fail of writing, directing, acting.

Fail of all wrestling scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Lucky Number Slevin, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jason Smilovic

Director: Paul McGuigan

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Mob bosses want to kill each other.

Story: Revenge

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of airport scenes throughout.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Shooting a kid. Yes, that’s clearly what we need more of. Well done Hollywood.

Fail of all apartment scenes.

Fail of meeting boss scenes throughout.

I see what they wanted to do, but the main character doesn't work.

Decent climax scene, but too much explanation.

Good ending.

Art School Confidential, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Daniel Clowes

Director: Terry Zwigoff

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue.

Plot: An artist wants to be with a woman.

Story: Relationships, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of almost every scene.

Fail of dorm scenes throughout.

Fail of all art school scenes.

Fail of woman with child date scene.

Fail of lecture scene.

Fail of old man scenes throughout.

Boring flat movie. Fail of writing.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of killer plot.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

A Good Year, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Marc Klein

Director: Ridley Scott

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A company wants to suspend a stock market trader.

Story: Character, Purpose

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of stock scene.

A gentleman's agreement in the stock market. Oh dear.

Fail of all office scenes throughout.

Fail of driving scene.

Fail of flashback scenes.

A gardener so attached to an estate that isn't his. Ah…the life of servants who love their servitude to the rich. Just like paparazzi some want to be in proximity to the elites and famous just to feel their glow. For some new age believers, they think that the “powerful life force energy” of the rich and famous will help their chances in the next lifetime.

Fail of music content throughout.

Decent pool scene.

Ah…the problems of rich White people. Cry me a river.

And a surprise. Of course. Typical Hollywood writing.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing and directing.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of attempted comedy.

Fail of dinner scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Inside Man, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Russell Gewirtz

Director: Spike Lee

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to rob a bank.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro narration.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Fail of all cinematography throughout.

What the hell is up with the intense moving forward shot with cheesy music content? A real cinematographer created that shot? A real director wanted that shot? Seriously?

Complete fail of music content. Way too overdramatic.

Fail of film extras (looks too fake). But if I'm noticing the failure of the extras than the movie is already sh*t.

Non-linear plot doesn't work.

Fail of bank hostage scenes. Just terrible.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $150 million proves that God does NOT exist.
----------------------------------------------------

Failure to Launch 2006 Failure to Launch, 2006: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Tom J. Astle, Matt Ember

Director: Tom Dey

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: An adult son wants to live with his parents.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Excellent parents scenes throughout.

Good friends talk scenes throughout.

Good dating scenes throughout.

Devil bird. I once heard a bird that sounded like a woman yelping for help. It was freaky.

Good boat selling scene.

Good paintball scene.

Good gun store scene.

Decent bird scene plot.

Good dad naked scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Superman Returns, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Michael Dougherty, Dan Harris

Director: Bryan Singer

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to rule the world.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Fail of Kevin Spacey’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of home scene throughout.

Fail of crystal lair scene.

Fail of all Lex Luther scenes throughout.

Hey, the guy from Van Wilder (Kal Penn). Nice to see you again.

Good special effects throughout.

Ah yes…only alien gods can save us. Well done Hollywood. A typical Illuminati movie.

Fail of plane scene.

Fail of almost all scenes. Too stupid. Fail of writing.

Yes, we get it, you're bullet proof.

Fail of all Lois/Superman scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Continued in Part 2.