Hollywood Movie Review Series:
2016 Movies
Part 2
Super Elite Worst Movies From 1999 - 2018
1999 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2
2000 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2
2001 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2
2002 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2
2003 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2
2004 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2
2005 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2
2006 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3
2007 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3
2008 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2
2009 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2
2010 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2
2011 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2
2012 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2
2013 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2
2014 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2
2015 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2
2016 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2
2017 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3
2018 Movies – Part 1 and Part 2
By: Shawn Alli
Posted: December 30, 2021
Updated: July 1, 2022
Copyright Pixabay
PASSED: 38 Movies
FAILED: 90 Movies
*This article was updated in July 2022 because the original web pages were too large to be indexed by Google.
*I do NOT own the copyright for any movie posters.
*Movies are in no particular order. Please use Crtl F on your keyboard to find a particular movie. Movies that got a wide release in the year after their first screening are listed in the next year. For example, 300 (2006) is listed in 2007 because it only got a wide release in 2007.
*Don't worry about spoilers. You can read the review of any movie without being afraid of spoilers and enjoy the movie if you watch it. I intentionally made sure not to ruin a movie by revealing a hidden plot or hidden climax scene. I simply pass or fail each scene and comment on them.
Max Steel, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Christopher L. Yost
Director: Stewart Hendler
Dialogue: Fail
Complete fail of all dialogue.
Plot: A company wants to control an alien.
Story: Ethics, Ambition
Characters: Fail
Fail of Steel character.
Fail of Max character.
Acting: Fail
Decent acting by Ben Winchell.
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of bike scene.
Fail of school scene.
Good girl scene.
Fail of home scenes throughout.
Interesting lab scenes throughout.
Fail of energy scenes throughout.
Rubber gloves. Jokes.
Good date scene.
Good hunting scene. But everything goes down from there.
Fail of all steel scenes, which is pretty much half the movie.
Fail of forest scene.
Decent girl scenes throughout.
Fail of building scene.
Fail of tornado scenes. Too stupid.
Fail of combination scenes.
Terrible dialogue throughout.
Majority shareholder means the hit team has to listen to her? It's a hit team for f*ck sakes.
Fail of flashback scene.
Fail of fight scene.
Terrible scenes throughout. Fail of writing.
Fail of facial scenes throughout. Fail of directing.
Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.
Fail of climax fight scene.
Decent girl ending.
***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.
One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that this movie made less than $10 million proves that God DOES exist.
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, 2016: FAIL
Commercial Success
Writer: J. K. Rowling
Director: David Yates
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: A dark wizard wants to rule the world.
Story: Ambition, Ethics
Characters: Fail
Weak characters.
Acting: Fail
Complete fail of all acting. It’s almost as if they chose the worst actors for this movie, aside from Eddie Redmayne of course.
Fail of Colin Farrell’s acting.
Fail of Katherine Waterston’s acting.
Excellent acting by Eddie Redmayne.
Fail of Dan Fogler’s acting.
Fail of Carmen Ejogo’s acting.
Comments:
Good newspaper intro.
Decent port scene.
Fail of street scene.
Fail of bank scene.
Fail of female investigator scenes throughout. Just terrible.
Hollywood is trying to score points with a Black Madame president played by Carmen Ejogo. Hollywood loves mixed children that lean toward light skin and hit their visible minority quota.
Fail of higher up talk scene.
Fail of office scene.
Fail of idiot scenes throughout.
Story doesn’t really make sense. Fail of writing.
Yes the special effects are nice, but not enough to pass the movie.
Fail of news talk scene.
Fail of sister scenes.
Fail of alley scene.
Good briefcase and other world scene.
Fail of street scene.
Fail of giant rhino creature scene.
Fail of party scene.
Fail of hearing scene.
The acting really kills this movie.
Fail of hearing scenes throughout.
Fail of escape scene.
Fail of magic bar scene.
Fail of all Colin Farrell scenes throughout.
Fail of city battle scene.
Decent pre-climax battle scene.
Fail of climax scene.
Good ending.
Passengers, 2016: PASS
Potential Profit
Writer: Jon Spaihts
Director: Morten Tyldum
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: A man wants to survive a spaceship journey.
Story: Ethics, Relationships, Survival
Characters: Pass
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Good intro. That’s what I like. Show the problem in the intro and go from there.
Doesn’t make sense that the computer couldn’t detect/avoid it. But…
Good initial computer talk scenes throughout.
Good presentation scene. Overrated. Jokes.
And the plot begins.
Lovely ship scenes throughout.
And the plot thickens.
Excellent Arthur scenes throughout.
Good living scenes throughout.
Decent outside ship scene.
And the plot thickens. Well done.
Good personal and ship problem scenes throughout.
And the realization dawns. Well done.
Lovely pool gravity scene.
Good death scene.
Good pre-climax scene.
Good climax scene.
Impressive medical pod scene. Shame it doesn't yet exist, even though many QAnon conspiracy theorists believe that it does.
Fail of ending.
Rogue One, 2016: FAIL
Commercial Success
Writer: Chris Weitz, Tony Gilroy
Director: Gareth Edwards
Dialogue: Fail
Terrible dialogue throughout.
Plot: An empire wants to destroy planets and rebels.
Story: Ethics, Character
Characters: Fail
Terrible characters
Acting: Fail
Fail of all acting.
Good acting by Riz Ahmed.
Comments:
Fail of intro. Cliché intro and problem.
Fail of street scenes.
Diego Luna from Narcos Mexico. Wow. Shame the acting is garbage.
Fail of transport scene.
Fail of operations scenes throughout.
Fail of cave scene.
Fail of flashback scenes.
Fail of blind man scenes throughout. Just terrible. Shame to see the great Donnie Yen in such a terrible role.
Fail of battle scene.
If all "is as the force wills it," does that include all the murder in the fictional empire, as well as the murder and rape in the real world? Hollywood ideologies can be very dangerous.
Too many different elements happening in this movie.
Fail of all Forest Whitaker scenes throughout. Fail of acting and character.
Terrible dialogue throughout.
Fail of all Ben Mendelsohn scenes throughout due to acting and character. Just terrible acting throughout.
Fail of hologram scene.
Fail of Imperial army scenes throughout.
Fail of potential assassination scene.
Fail of ship anger scene.
Fail of Vader scene.
Fail of rebellion scenes throughout.
Fail of battle scenes throughout.
Fail of climax scene.
Decent Vader scene. Best scene in the movie.
Darth Vader's rage | Star Wars: Rogue One 2016 [Ending scene]
Fail of ending.
Terrible movie. Terrible writing and acting. Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.
The fact that this movie made over $1 billion proves that God does NOT exist.
Bad Santa 2, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Johnny Rosenthal, Shauna Cross
Director: Mark Waters
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: Thieves want to rob a charity.
Story: Character, Ambition
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Fail of intro.
All the scenes are just sad to watch. Not a good sad, a sh*tty sad.
Is that the same boy. Oh my god it is. That's just sad.
Fail of all house scenes.
Fail of diner scene.
"P*ssy lips like an orangutan." Too much.
Fail of all Santa scenes. Too stupid.
Fail of Santa fight scene.
Fail of bar scene.
Fail of real plot scene.
Fail of all idiot boy/young adult scenes.
Fail of chubby slutty woman scene.
Fail of hot liberal slutty women scene.
This movie is so f*cked up. How did it get a wide release? Star power.
Old men screwing empowered sluts for a Christmas movie. Yup, sounds about right. Well done Hollywood.
Good bathroom sex scene.
Good song scene.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
Almost as if the movie was made just so male celebrities could get laid. Sometimes, pretend sex on-camera turns into real sex off-camera. Either before or after shooting.
The Girl on the Train, 2016: PASS
Potential Profit
Writer: Erin Cressida Wilson
Director: Tate Taylor
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: Three women want a better life.
Story: Character, Relationships
Characters: Pass
Excellent characters.
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Good intro.
Good various women perspectives.
Good therapy scenes throughout.
Good home scenes throughout.
Good breakdown scenes throughout.
Excellent cinematography.
Allison Janney from The West Wing. Nice to see you. You've done very well for yourself after The West Wing. Kudos.
Good scenes of all women's lives throughout. Well done. Excellent writing, directing, acting, music content.
Good confrontation scene.
Good pre-climax scenes. Disturbing forest scene.
Excellent climax scene.
Decent ending.
Excellent writing, directing, acting, cinematography.
Sully, 2016: PASS
Commercial Success
Writer: Todd Komarnicki
Director: Clint Eastwood
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: Regulators want to investigate a plane crash.
Story: Ethics
Characters: Pass
Acting: Pass
Excellent acting by Tom Hanks as usual.
Comments:
Good intro.
Good investigation presentation scene.
Good Sully scenes throughout. But I could have used a bit more solemn tone.
Fail of other implication scenes, but it’s biographical, so…
Decent talk scene.
Good distracted visualization scene.
Good investigation scenes throughout.
Good actual plane scenes throughout.
Good past military scenes.
Good past rescue scenes throughout.
Good hearing scenes throughout.
Excellent actual plane scene.
Decent non-climax scene.
Good real life ending pics.
Deepwater Horizon, 2016: PASS
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Matthew Michael Carnahan, Matthew Sand
Director: Peter Berg
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: An oil company wants to drill without proper tests.
Story: Survival, Ambition
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Excellent acting by Mark Wahlberg.
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of house scene.
Fail of transport scene.
Good machine/drilling movement scenes throughout.
Good bickering scenes throughout.
Excellent sociopath webcam scene.
Good management talk scene.
Good pressure scene.
Good blowout scenes throughout.
Rough shower scene. Wow.
Good rescue scenes throughout.
Good climax scene.
Good ending.
Good real life ending.
$110 million production budget. Lionsgate has money to burn. Then again, it's a lot of star power in this movie.
Even with the climate change movement pushing the narrative of evil oil, BP is still in business and making billions in 2021. That's real power. The Biden administration is even begging OPEC for more oil.
ven as Biden Pushes Clean Energy, He Seeks More Oil Production from OPEC
Hacksaw Ridge, 2016: PASS
Commercial Success
Writer: Robert Schenkkan, Randall Wallace, Andrew Knight
Director: Mel Gibson
Dialogue: Pass
"How long have you been dead son?" Excellent line, good delivery. What a line.
"I have seen stalks of corn with better physiques." Good line, fail in delivery.
Plot: A religious person wants to save people.
Story: Survival, Purpose
Characters: Pass
Acting: Fail
Fail of Andrew Garfield’s acting. Not the right actor for the role.
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Decent child fight scene.
Good leg scene.
Good hospital scene.
Good dating scene.
Excellent house dinner scene.
Good father/son scene.
Excellent drill inspection scene. Best scene of the movie.
Good training scenes throughout.
Decent office boss scene.
Good barracks scene.
Sleep pretty hard. Well done.
Decent rifle scene.
Good anger prison scene.
Principles vs. reality of the situation. I feel you.
Decent hearing scene.
Odd that they never really appreciated the value of combat medics.
Good battle scenes throughout.
Yes, all animals in the mind of enemies. Propaganda at its best.
Good night talk scene.
Good water scene.
Decent climax scene.
Decent ending.
Good real life ending.
Passed with 3 writers. Well done.
Arrival, 2016: FAIL
Potential Profit
Writer: Eric Heisserer
Director: Denis Villeneuve
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: US military wants to deal with an alien threat.
Story: Survival, Ethics
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of alien scenes throughout. Just boring.
Terrible music content.
Daughter plot unnecessary.
Interstellar beings and only a university linguist can save the day. Yawn.
I'll admit, the communication through symbols is interesting, but not enough to pass.
Rule of thumb, whenever the military and corrupt politicians are in charge of first contact with aliens, the people are f*cked.
Fail of treason scene.
Fail of climax scene.
Decent ending.
Weak non-linear solution.
Office Christmas Party, 2016: PASS
Potential Profit
Writer: Justin Malen, Laura Solon, Dan Mazer
Director: Josh Gordon, Will Speck
Dialogue: Pass
"Jesus, incest and rape? That is dark." Good line, fail in delivery.
Plot: A CEO wants to downsize a company.
Story: Relationships, Family, Character
Characters: Pass
Acting: Pass
Excellent acting by Jennifer Aniston.
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Decent to good office scenes throughout.
Good board scene.
Good brother/sister fight scene.
No need to be ashamed of using an escort. Lots of people from Silicon Valley use escorts.
A brief history of high-dollar prostitution, Silicon Valley style
Sex Valley: Tech's booming prostitution trade
The Google Exec and the Model: Silicon Valley After Dark
Deep throating an ice d*ck. Well done.
Decent party scenes throughout.
Excellent climax scene.
Good ending.
Passed with 3 writers. Impressive.
Keeping Up with the Joneses, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Michael LeSieur
Director: Greg Mottola
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: Spies want to surveil people.
Story: Ambition, Relationships
Characters: Fail
Weak characters.
Acting: Pass
Excellent acting by Jon Hamm.
Fail Zach Galifianakis’ acting. Not the right actor for the role.
Comments:
Good intro.
Good bus scene.
Fail of neighbor scene.
Fail of party scene.
Fail of office lobby scene.
Boring office scenes.
Fail of initial neighbor scene.
Blows his own glass. Jokes.
Fail of BBQ scene.
Fail of espionage office scene.
Fail of store scene.
Fail of wife investigation scenes throughout.
Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.
Fail of restaurant scene.
Fail of dressing clothes scene.
Fail of realization scene.
Fail of tone of movie. Fail of directing.
Fail of office/phone scene.
Fail of security talk scene.
Fail of gun scene.
Fail of car scene.
Fail of diner scene.
Good basement interrogation scene.
Automatically go to Hebrew in a fight. Jokes. Should have been extended longer.
Calling him a pussy in Hebrew. Jokes. Should have had a knife in her hand while saying it.
Always nice to see movies about the problems of middle to upper class White people.
Snake moving after being chopped off. Jokes.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
Weak characters and plot.
Assassin's Creed, 2016: FAIL
Commercial Failure
Writer: Michael Lesslie, Adam Cooper, Bill Collage
Director: Justin Kurzel
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: Knights Templars want to control people’s thoughts and willpower.
Story: Ambition, Ethics.
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Fail of intro.
As soon as I saw the Knights Templars monologue, I knew that this Illuminati movie was going to be garbage. Yes, even video games are Illuminati controlled. Anything method can serve the Illuminati narrative (religion, school, politics, video games, Hollywood).
Well done with the claim that the rules only apply to the masses. That is what the Illuminati believe since they created the rules.
Good bike scene.
Fail of house scene.
Fail of time forward scenes. Fail of writing.
Fail of death flashback scenes. What a p*ssy.
Fail of facility scenes throughout.
DNA match with ancient memory. Another Illuminati characteristic.
Fail of memory hologram scenes throughout.
Neo Templars. Could have worked with a better writer.
Fail of hallucination scenes. But it could have worked.
Fail of past realization scene.
Genetic predisposition to violence. Such nonsense. Unless of course you’re talking about the soul.
Fail of lunch scene.
At least they were kind enough to include the token Black guy.
Fail of hallucinated fight scene.
Decent past escape scene. At least they included a strong female character. That was nice of Hollywood.
Fail of father/son scene.
Genetic code for freewill. Sorry, but it doesn't work that way.
Fail of attack scene.
Fail of sultan attack scene.
Fail of facility attack scenes. Just terrible. You would think that assassins would know how to fight properly.
Fail of church scene.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.
Oddly enough, this could have worked as a TV series without that stupid memory hologram machine.
Most foreign revenue came from France, Germany, and Spain. Almost as if the ruling Illuminati families in Europe influenced the masses to watch it. Diabolical.
Why Him? 2016: FAIL
Commercial Failure
Writer: John Hamburg, Ian Helfer
Director: John Hamburg
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: A girl wants to be with a dysfunctional rich guy.
Story: Family, Relationships
Characters: Fail
Complete fail of all characters.
Acting: Pass
Fail of Keegan-Michael Key’s acting.
Comments:
Decent intro birthday webcam scene. Could have been done much better.
Decent office scene.
Fail of car talk scene.
Fail of bowling house scene.
Fail of all rich guy scenes throughout. Character doesn’t work.
Fail of father character.
Fail of daughter character. Too unbelievable. Liberal parenting. What do you expect?
Fail of dinner scene.
Fail of bed scene.
Fail of all Keegan-Michael Key scenes throughout. He has sunk to a new low. But I'll always remember those greats skits from MadTV.
Decent toilet scene.
The characters are too unbelievable.
Fail of AI voice phone scene.
Fail of party scene.
Fail of weed scene.
Fail of all daughter scenes throughout.
Fail of hacking scene.
Good fight scene.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
I couldn’t get into the movie. It was too stupid. But I’m sure that liberals loved it.
Collateral Beauty, 2016: FAIL
Commercial Failure
Writer: Allan Loeb
Director: David Frankel
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: Partners want to get rid of a majority shareholder.
Story: Purpose, Family
Characters: Fail
Fail of all characters.
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Decent intro.
Decent office scenes throughout.
Fail of solution prep. But at least they get right to it.
Fail of home scenes throughout.
Writing letter to things. That's interesting and sad.
Fail of father/daughter scenes throughout.
Fail of elevator scene.
Fail of actual solution. Powerfully stupid. Beyond suspension of disbelief.
Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.
Decent climax board scene.
Good ending.
Miss Sloane, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Jonathan Perera
Director: John Madden
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: US govt wants to pass gun control legislation.
Story: Ambition
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Sam Waterston looks like a walking mannequin.
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of court hearing scene.
Fail of working talk scene.
Fail of conference talk scenes.
Boring scenes throughout.
Garbage plot.
Fail of quote scene.
Fail of court hearing scenes throughout.
Subpoena medical records. Well done. Rule of thumb, never take any prescription drugs.
Fail of lunch scene.
Fail of hotel scene.
Flat and boring scenes throughout. It reminds of an Ally McBeal episode, which I've never watched of course.
Decent political pressuring scenes.
Excellent climax scene, but not enough to pass. But I didn't see that coming.
Good ending.
At least it was filmed in Toronto. Thank you for employing people in the Toronto film industry.
Manchester by the Sea, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Success
Writer: Kenneth Lonergan
Director: Kenneth Lonergan
Dialogue: Pass
"I don't give a f*ck what you do Mrs. Olson. I’m just trying to fix the f*cking leak.” Decent line, good delivery.
"Would you please just take your hand out of my c*nt." Good line, fail in delivery.
Plot: A family wants to deal with a family member’s death.
Story: Family
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Decent plumbing scenes.
Fail of bar scene.
Fail of hospital scenes.
Fail of tone to movie.
Good house scene.
Fail of car scene.
The monotone pace is too numb for me. Fail of directing.
Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing. Non-linear plot doesn’t work.
Fail of lawyer office scene.
Fail of fire scene.
Fail of police scene.
Good argument scene.
Fail of all band scenes.
Fail of funeral scene.
Fail of house talk scenes.
Ah…White trash people who don't know how to handle life. Yah yah.
Liberal mom can't make conversation with White trash. Yup, sounds about right.
Good former couple talk scene.
Fail of bar scene.
Decent non-climax scene.
Fail of ending.
Fail of writing and directing. Sorry, but I just couldn’t appreciate the movie. I even watched it twice and found it powerfully boring.
Edge of Seventeen, 2016: PASS
Commercial Failure
Writer: Kelly Fremon Craig
Director: Kelly Fremon Craig
Dialogue: Pass
So many excellent lines that I can't get all of them.
"Can you put your penis inside me. Not you." Good line, excellent delivery.
"You're head is too big for your body. It makes you look ridiculous and you'll never be able to fix it." Good line, excellent delivery.
"I'm really hoping none of that was racist, but now I'm thinking all of it was." Excellent line and delivery.
Plot: A girl wants commit suicide.
Story: Relationships, Family
Characters: Pass
Excellent characters.
Acting: Pass
Excellent acting by Hailee Steinfeld.
Good acting by Woody Harrelson.
Comments:
Excellent intro.
Excellent past scenes.
Good teacher house scene.
Excellent cinematography, which means excellent directing.
Good school scenes throughout.
All scenes are excellent. School, home, party ones.
Good bedroom realization scene.
Solid dialogue.
Excellent acting, directing, cinematography, writing, characters.
"Bald men are gross." Too cruel.
Excellent climax scene.
Good ending.
Powerful movie. One of the best movies of all time. But Steinfeld's acting was the real winner.
Should have made more money. The fact that it didn't proves that God does NOT exist.
Nocturnal Animals, 2016: FAIL
Commercial Failure
Writer: Tom Ford
Director: Tom Ford
Dialogue: Fail
Fail of garbage dialogue.
Plot: A man wants to deal with his struggling business.
Story: Purpose, Relationships, Ambition
Characters: Fail
Decent characters, but lacking.
Acting: Pass
Excellent acting by Michael Sheen.
Excellent acting by Jake Gyllenhaal as usual.
Fail of Michael Shannon’s acting.
Comments:
Interesting fat woman intro. I don't think that's ever been done. But that was the correct music for it. Well done.
Wow, that's a gated house alright.
Wow, White man servants. I can only imagine.
Ah…beautiful White people in a beautiful house and the awkward silence between couples who have problems.
Rich white people talking about their problems and philosophy. I hope this is going somewhere.
Rich white people drugging themselves. Yup, sounds about right.
Rich White people in their armchair philosophy. And you wonder why the audience tuned out.
Interesting book relationship story playing out.
Shouldn’t smart people know not to drive on desert highways at night? White people.
Excellent bathtub scene.
Decent dinner scene.
Good jail scene interview.
Wow, sh*tting outside on a toilet in the open. Is that normal for White trash people?
Decent police scenes, but sheriff actor kill's it.
Fail of anti-climax scene.
Fail of ending.
Interesting but not passable. If the climax was good it could have passed.
Hardcore Henry, 2016: FAIL
Commercial Success
Writer: Ilya Naishuller
Director: Ilya Naishuller
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: Someone wants to capture a bionic man/weapon.
Story: Ambition, Character
Characters: Fail
Acting: Fail
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of all lab scenes.
Fail of attack scene.
Fail of movie from person’s perspective. Just terrible cinematography, which means terrible directing.
Fail of escape scenes throughout.
Fail of bus scene.
Fail of strip scene.
Fail of almost every scene. Fail of writing, directing, acting.
Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.
Fail of evil villain scenes throughout.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
How did this get a wide release? 3000 theatres. Wow.
***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.
One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $15 million proves that God DOES exist.
I'm sure that computer nerds loved the video game perspective.
Kudos to the skinny $2 million production budget. Which means that the actors were getting paid next to nothing.
Miracles From Heaven, 2016: FAIL
Commercial Success
Writer: Randy Brown
Director: Patricia Riggen
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: A family wants to heal their daughter.
Story: Family
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Decent intro. But it all goes downhill from there.
Fail of church scenes throughout.
Weak house scenes throughout.
Fail of hospital scenes. Terrible hospital scenes. Yes, doctors are incompetent. We got it. And then they’re saviors because God worked through them. Sigh.
Yes yes, keep praying for her. Blah blah blah. Got it.
Well done with the crazy religious people and their sin theory. That’s real.
Good restaurant scene.
Good street scenes.
Fail of faith anger scene.
Good sad hospital scenes.
Fail of airline scene.
Good fall scene.
Decent heaven scene.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
Decent real life ending.
Impressive that another Christian movie got a wide release and did well. Good for them.
Garbage characters and dialogue but good for Christians. The writing for Christian movies is slowly getting better. But not enough for this movie to pass.
Fences, 2016: PASS
Potential Profit
Writer: August Wilson
Director: Denzel Washington
Dialogue: Pass
Excellent dialogue throughout.
"I told him if he wasn't the marrying kind, then move out the way so the marrying kind can find me." Excellent line and delivery.
"Hell must be getting old the way I'm watching that boy whip through that wood." Good line and delivery.
Plot: A man wants a better life for his family.
Story: Family, Relationships
Characters: Pass
Excellent characters.
Excellent veteran developmental disability character.
Acting: Pass
Excellent acting by Viola Davis.
Excellent acting by Denzel Washington.
Comments:
Good intro.
Excellent walking home scene.
"I got some talk for you later." Jokes.
Excellent backyard talking scenes throughout.
Excellent living room talk scene.
Truck with the devil. Jokes.
Excellent father/son talk scene.
A&P? Wow. That's a blast from the past. Even I remember A&P grocery stores.
Excellent cinematography throughout.
Excellent kitchen/spouse argument scene.
Excellent climax scene.
Good ending.
Not one of the best movies of all time, but I strongly recommend watching it.
Moonlight, 2016: PASS
Epic Commercial Success
Writer: Barry Jenkins
Director: Barry Jenkins
Dialogue: Pass
"You gon’ raise him?" "You goin’ keep selling me rocks?" Decent line, good delivery
Plot: Kids want to bully another kid.
Story: Family, Characters
Characters: Pass
Acting: Pass
Excellent acting all around.
Comments:
Good intro.
Good bullying scene.
Good house guy child scene.
Good school scenes throughout.
Good lake scene.
Good house and crazy mother scenes throughout. Sad, but it’s reality.
Good beach scene.
Ah…the reality of low income black community. Tough, but it’s reality.
Excellent narration throughout.
Good climax scene.
Decent ending.
An all Black cast movie made $60 million on a $1.5 million budget. Kudos. Which means that the actors were getting paid next to nothing.
Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Jean-Christophe Castelli
Director: Ang Lee
Dialogue: Fail
Fail of Steve Martin’s character dialogue.
Plot: A veteran wants to deal with his PTSD.
Story: Ethics
Characters: Fail
Acting: Fail
Fail of Joe Alwyn’s acting. Not the right actor for the role.
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Chris Tucker. Wow.
Decent cemetery scene.
Fail of house scene.
Fail of limo scene.
Fail of hallucination scenes.
Fail bed talk scene.
Fail of military scenes throughout. Stupidly robbing world of oxygen. Oh dear.
Fail of football scenes.
Fail of press conference scene.
Way of the warrior. Oh dear. Conditions him to not want answers. That is the army way.
Ah…the slutty Christian girl. Lovely.
American soldiers invading Iraq. Just die already. It’s the same as American soldiers invading your house and killing your family. They don’t care. They have no ethics. I wouldn’t trust the military or police to keep me safe. But in Canada, we don’t have a right to bear arms. Hence, the victimization mentality.
Fail of film plot throughout. Too stupid.
Fail of lunch scene.
Fail of national anthem scene.
Fail of half time scene and freak-out. Could have been done much better.
Fail of football pressure scene.
Decent asshole scene.
Fail of talk scene.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
I can see what the writer was trying to achieve, and how various interested parties wanted to craft the narrative and exploit the troops, but it didn’t work. This movie should be redone with a better writer today.
Lion, 2016: PASS
Epic Commercial Success
Writer: Luke Davies
Director: Garth Davis
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: A boy/man wants to find his family.
Story: Family, Character
Characters: Pass
Acting: pass
Excellent acting all around.
Excellent child acting by Sunny Pawar.
Comments:
Good intro.
Excellent scenes throughout.
Excellent sleeping bench scene.
Excellent cinematography.
Excellent scenes of child on his own. Very sad. Well done.
Excellent music content. This is the composer you want for your blockbuster movie.
Old man kidnapping young children in India. Yup, sadly, sounds about right.
Selling children into the sex trade in India. Yup, sadly, that sounds about right.
Excellent childhood scenes throughout.
Excellent use of visual images vs. dialogue.
Good university course scenes throughout.
Excellent flashback scenes.
Good family meeting woman scene.
Excellent searching scenes throughout.
Good climax scene.
Excellent ending. Wow.
Based on a true story. Wow.
Powerful movie. One of the best movies of all time.
Hell or High Water, 2016: FAIL
Potential Profit
Writer: Taylor Sheridan
Director: David Mackenzie
Dialogue: Fail
Complete fail of dialogue throughout.
Plot: Two brothers want a better life.
Story: Ambition, Family
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Excellent acting by Ben Foster.
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of investigation scenes.
Fail of diner scene.
The robberies border on stupidity. My suspension of disbelief has a limit.
Good convenience store scene.
Fail of casino scene.
Good real plot, but the writing doesn’t work.
Fail of diner scene.
Yes, the horrible banks are taking land away from people. May they burn in hell for all eternity.
Fail of chase scene.
Poverty as a disease. Well said.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
This movie should be redone with a better writer.
Mother’s Day, 2016: PASS
Commercial Failure
Writer: Tom Hines, Anya Kochoff Romano, Matt Walker
Director: Garry Marshall
Dialogue: Pass
Some of the dialogue is forced but passable.
Plot: Various people want a better life.
Story: family, Relationships
Characters: Pass
Julia Roberts character not needed.
Acting: Pass
Excellent acting by Jennifer Aniston as usual.
Comments:
Good intro.
Fail of kitchen scene.
Decent bar scene.
Fail of bar scene.
Fail of all Julia Roberts scenes throughout.
Sarah Chalke from Scrubs. Great to see you.
Fail of sister scene.
Fail of gym scene.
Good Jennifer Aniston scenes throughout.
A visible minority husband. That's fabulous. And an LGBT character. F*ck me, this movie is breaking new ground, and yet it failed commercially.
Decent park scene.
Fail of freak out car scene.
Fail of soccer scene.
Didn't need Julia Roberts or her character/plot. Too many plots in motion, but enough comedy to pass.
Excellent parents scenes throughout.
Fail of party scene.
Fail of RV scene. Shame. Could have been much better.
Fail of police scene. Wasted comedy potential.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
This movie only passed on the strength of its comedy and actors. Characters are weak. I was feeling generous.
Almost Christmas, 2016: FAIL
Potential Profit
Writer: David E. Talbert
Director: David E. Talbert
Dialogue: Fail
"You know what, I'm getting a phone call. So I'm going to have to put pause on this conversation, which
I'm really enjoying." Good line, excellent delivery.
"Rachel you know Lonnie." "I'd love some ham thank you." Good line, excellent delivery.
Plot: A dad wants his family together for Christmas.
Story: Family, Character, Relationships
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Excellent acting by Jessie T. Usher.
Excellent acting by Gabrielle Union.
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Stale jokes throughout. Wasted comedy potential.
Nice attempt at a Black National Lampoons Christmas Vacation...but not enough to pass.
The movie feels forced, as if the writer is making it up as they go.
Fail of stuck in the window scene.
It would have been good if the nosy neighbor saw it and the camera focused on the fake thrusts with her reactions.
Good comedy in the climax scene, but not enough to pass.
Decent ending.
Allied, 2016: PASS
Commercial Failure
Writer: Steven Knight
Director: Robert Zemeckis
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: Nazis wants to take over Europe.
Story: Ambition, Relationships
Characters: Pass
Acting: Pass
Good acting by Marion Cotillard.
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of bar scene.
Another period piece. Christ.
Good home scenes throughout.
Fail of office scene.
Fail of tone of movie. Too dry and flat. It's like "he's going to do X. Ah yes I see. I will stop him. Excellent work." Fail of directing.
Decent car sex scene.
Fail of attack scene.
Hey, the doctor from Manchurian Candidate (Simon McBurney). You keep popping up in a lot of movies. Kudos.
Good interview scene.
And the plot thickens.
First hour of this movie was garbage. Second half has potential.
Good phone and sex scene.
Good flashback scenes.
Good music content.
Good hospital scene.
Fail of party scene. Ah…free spirit people. Lovely.
Good picnic scene.
Fail of French attack scene.
Excellent climax scene. Sad. Well done.
Excellent ending.
First half garbage, but the last half was excellent.
I understand why this movie didn't make much money.
When the Bough Breaks, 2016: FAIL
Potential Profit
Writer: Jack Olsen
Director: Jon Cassar
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: A couple wants to have a child.
Story: Family
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of office scene.
Fail of house scene.
Boring house scenes throughout.
"If he tries to harm you, call us again." Useless police creating more victims. Just die already.
Fail of jail interview scene.
Yah yah, a life of luxury. It’s tempting.
And the plot thickens.
Fail of party scenes.
Scenes easily anticipated.
Good day attack scene.
Good night attack scene.
A smart man should have anticipated this.
Fail of realization scene.
Fail of investigation scenes throughout.
At least the wife is smart in knowing what to do.
Good pre-climax scene.
Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.
Fail of ending.
Money Monster, 2016: FAIL
Potential Profit
Writer: Alan Di Fiore, Jim Kouf, Jamie Linden
Director: Jodie Foster
Dialogue: Fail
Complete fail of all dialogue.
Plot: A man wants to kill a talk show host.
Story: Ambition, Character
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Fail of intro. Powerfully stupid.
Glorifying money and stock in a boxing motif. Really?
I can't wait for broadcast TV to be annihilated by live streaming. It's only the baby boomers holding up TV/print news.
Fail of all characters and dialogue.
How do you lose $800 million over night? Fraud. That's the risk of stock market investment. End of movie.
Fail of girlfriend talk down scene.
Complete fail behind the scenes plot.
Fail of evacuation scenes.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
Garbage movie.
Rules Don't Apply, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Warren Beatty
Director: Warren Beatty
Dialogue: Fail
1964 Christian dialogue. Oh dear god.
"You know, all these girls want their own cars but I'm telling you that if you don't drive them you can't keep an eye on them...you gotta have their gate keys." Good line, fail in delivery.
Plot: Stockholders and creditors want to take over a plane company.
Story: Ambition, Purpose, Character, Relationships
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Good acting by Alden Ehrenreich
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Ah…period pieces. Even the 1960s is old enough to be a period piece because it's so different from today.
Fail of everything. Complete garbage.
Nice to see Hollywood sexism in the ‘60s.
Ah…selling herself for fame. What a joke.
Good Christian women. Oh please.
Boring scenes throughout. Fail of writing.
Fail of all car girl/guy talk scenes.
Fail of all characters.
Fail of corny music content.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
Monster Trucks, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Derek Connolly
Director: Chris Wedge
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: An oil company wants to drill deep wells.
Story: Family, Ethics, Character
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of morning scene.
Fail of house scene.
Danny Glover. Wow. Why?
Fail of night scene.
Fail of class scene.
Fail of initial creature scene.
Fail of shop investigation scene.
Fail of girl truck scene.
The creature is so cute and loving.
Fail of garage scenes.
Boring scenes throughout.
Fail of gas station scene.
Weak comedy scenes throughout.
Fail of dad scene.
Fail of road escape scene. Good above car scene through.
Private companies strong-arming local sheriffs. Well said.
Fail of campfire scene.
Fail of facility scene.
Fail of prep scenes.
Fail of pre-climax scenes.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
$125 million production budget…with no big names. Holy f*ck. Paramount Pictures has money to burn.
The Infiltrator, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Ellen Brown Furman
Director: Brad Furman
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: Cartels want to smuggle drugs into the US.
Story: Ethics
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Excellent acting by John Leguizamo.
Fail of Bryan Cranston’s acting.
Comments:
Decent intro.
Fail of home scenes throughout.
Fail of motel talk scene.
Fail of briefing scene.
Fail of court scene.
Fail of home talk scene.
Fail of motel scene.
Fail of jail scene.
Fail of strip club scene.
Fail of luxury offer scene.
Bryan Cranston’s acting really kills this movie.
Fail of briefing scene.
Decent banking scene.
Fail of wife scene. Doesn’t make sense.
Good bathroom scene.
Fail of car scene.
Fail of shaman scene.
Fail of fake wife scenes throughout.
Good close up execution kitchen scene.
Fail of mail scene.
Fail of party scene.
Fail of seizure scene.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
The Founder, 2016: PASS
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Robert D. Siegel
Director: John Lee Hancock
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: A salesman wants a better life.
Story: Ambition
Characters: Pass
Acting: Pass
Good acting by Michael Keaton, but could have been someone else.
Comments:
Decent intro.
Stop talking directly to the camera. Kevin Spacey can pull it off, not Michael Keaton.
A story about high pressure sales in the past. Really?
Ah…people experiencing the joy of fast food for the first time. The beginning of convenience and the erosion of health and practically all of humanity.
I personally despise the content of this movie. But it's good characters, weak dialogue.
Excellent tennis court idea scene.
Good music content.
Big ambitious people screwing over genius small-time inventors. Yup, sounds about right for the current level of development of humanity.
Fail of most scenes, especially basement argument scenes, But the characters are still solid.
Decent climax scene.
Good ending.
Race, 2016: FAIL
Commercial Success
Writer: Joe Shrapnel, Anna Waterhouse
Director: Stephen Hopkins
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: Nazis don't want Jews and visible minorities to compete in Olympics.
Story: Ambition, Ethics
Characters: Fail
Excellent characters.
Acting: Pass
Excellent acting by Jason Sudeikis.
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Boring talking and running scenes so far.
Fail of interview scene.
You belong to me. Yah, that’s slavery in another sense when it’s coming from a White man.
Fail of conference talk scene.
Good initial Nazi scene.
Excellent coach locker room scene. Holy f*ck. Best scene of the movie.
Race 2016 - Learn to block out the noise
Good anger higher time scene.
Ah…to be young and set world records. Lovely.
Decent party scene.
Fail of Nazi office scene.
Fail of conference speech scene.
White people making decisions for everyone. Lovely.
Weak scenes throughout.
Fail of Nazi talk scene.
Fail of anger talk scene.
Who do Germans hate more, Jews or Blacks? Whoever makes them looks like idiots.
Decent high jump scene. Nothing earth shattering.
Boring racing scenes.
Fail of Nazi pressure scene.
Good American coach talk scene.
Fail of climax scene.
Good ending.
Some will pass it, but most of the scenes are boring aside from the locker room one. But it’s based on a true story, so…
Jane Got a Gun, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Brian Duffield, Anthony Tambakis, Joel Edgerton
Director: Gavin O'Connor
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: A gang wants to kill a former member.
Story: Family, Relationships
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
I almost couldn't tell that was Ewan McGregor. Well done. Excellent acting by McGregor.
Comments:
Good intro.
Fail of house scene.
Boring scenes throughout.
Fail of attack scene.
Nice to see a somewhat strong female character.
Weak characters.
Boring scenes throughout.
Good argument scene.
Fail of kill scene.
Boring scenes throughout.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.
Less than $4 million at the box office. Ouch.
Eye in the Sky, 2016: FAIL
Potential Profit
Writer: Guy Hibbert
Director: Gavin Hood
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: Terrorists wants to recruit western Muslims.
Story: Ambition
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Wow, Professor Snape from Hogwarts (Alan Rickman). Nice to see you. Rest in peace sir.
Saying "room" when a senior officer steps into the room. Reminds me of my CAF days (private recruit). But he didn't say it like a real army reserve soldier would have.
F*ck me. I just realized (in 2018) that Alan Rickman was the Sheriff of Nottingham in the 1991 movie Robin Hood Prince of Thieves.
I almost expected the drone operators to say the giraffes were a threat to national security and kill them in cold blood.
Scene of buying doll not needed.
A lot of fluff in this movie (which they would argue is context). Get to the point.
British intel squeamish on drone attack of confirmed terrorists. What a joke. Most of the UK and US military operates are sociopaths.
No U.S. Troops Will Be Punished for Deadly Kabul Strike, Pentagon Chief Decides
Rational rookies in the military who've never killed and debate the ethics. Yah right.
Entire movie about debating the ethics of killing confirmed suicide bomber terrorists. I'm a philosopher and I'm waiting for them to get on with it. Christ.
As if all of this ethical debate would happen in a real op. What a joke.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
The Birth of a Nation, 2016: FAIL
Commercial Failure
Writer: Nate Parker
Director: Nate Parker
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: White people want to enslave Black people.
Story: Ethics
Characters: Fail
Acting: Fail
Comments:
Fail of intro.
The wise elder sounds like a regular Black guy speaking an African language vs. a Black actor from Africa speaking an African language.
Fail of all acting all around.
Fail of dream images from boy.
Fail of writing. This movie doesn't connect with the audience at all.
Always nice to see more slave movies with "n*gger this" and "n*gger that." How many movies are like this? Including this, 16 since 1994. History in action. We got it. Stop making more of these sh*tty movies. See The Conspiracy Against Visible Minorities.
Fail of music content.
Complete failure of everything. Fail of writing.
Fail of climax realization scene.
Fail of ending.
Using the White man's bible against White people. Gotta appreciate the irony.
The Light Between Oceans, 2016: FAIL
Commercial Failure
Writer: Derek Cianfrance
Director: Derek Cianfrance
Dialogue: Pass
Good dialogue throughout, but not enough to pass.
Plot: A woman wants a better life.
Story: Relationships, Family, Ethics
Characters: Fail
Fail of all characters.
Acting: Pass
Decent acting, nothing to write home about.
Comments:
Decent intro.
Good music content.
A new lighthouse man. Really?
Fail of dinner scene.
Decent cinematography shots, nothing to write home about.
Fail of outdoor talking scene. 15 minutes in, is this movie going somewhere?
Ah…it's period piece love story. Lovely.
Plot easily anticipated.
Ah…the demons that people create on their own. One's mind can work for you or against you, either way, it's your call.
And the expected second plot. Everything is too obvious.
The baby is so cute and loving.
Ah…a tortured man in his solace and current actions. Sigh..
And another plot unfolds.
It's not that it's a boring movie. It's that's it's too expected.
Good jail scene.
Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.
Excellent ending.
Me Before You, 2016: PASS
Epic Commercial Success
Writer: Jojo Moyes
Director: Thea Sharrock
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: A shopkeeper wants to close his shop.
Story: Family, Character, Relationships
Characters: Pass
Acting: Pass
Excellent acting by Sam Claflin.
Comments:
Decent intro.
Good woman interview scene.
Good initial scene of guy meeting woman.
Ah…being disabled in a White privileged family. Interesting.
What was the music clearance for this movie? A lot of unnecessary pop music.
Good caregiver scenes throughout.
Fail of horse racing scene.
Decent wedding scene.
Good beach dance scene.
Good climax scene.
Good ending.
Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life, 2016: FAIL
Potential Profit
Writer: Chris Bowman, Hubbel Palmer, Kara Holden
Director: Steve Carr
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: A principal wants to maintain school integrity.
Story: Ambition, Relationships, Family
Characters: Fail
Fail of father character. Too unbelievable.
Fail of all school staff characters. Too unbelievable.
Fail of boyfriend character.
Acting: Pass
Fail of Andy Daly’s acting. Not the right actor for the role.
Comments:
Decent intro. Ah…the imagination of a child. Lovely.
Hey, the woman from Gilmore Girls (Lauren Graham). Nice to see you again.
Oh…the dog is so cute.
Reminds me of Gilmore Girls. Well done.
Excellent principal miming. Very well done.
Uhh…why are the students moving in single file lines?
Good teaching method. Impressive. Shame almost everyone else in the world never had that teacher.
Fail of animation throughout. Not necessary and doesn't add to his character because his drawings and pranks already do it.
Wutang Clan. Oh my god. I haven't heard that name in so long.
Fail of mother lack of realization.
Fail of all characters. Fail of writing.
Fail of restaurant scene.
Everything too unbelievable. Beyond suspension of disbelief.
Mother character too naïve.
Good sprinkler scene. Must have cost a pretty penny.
VCR with LCD screen. Wow. I didn't even know that existed.
Fail of climax scene.
Good ending.
3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.
Eddie the Eagle, 2016: FAIL
Commercial Failure
Writer: Sean Macaulay, Simon Kelton
Director: Dexter Fletcher
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: Executives don't want a guy competing in the Olympics.
Story: Ambition
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of pre-Olympic scenes.
Decent sauna scene.
Fail of jumping scenes throughout.
Fail of bar scene.
Fail of hospital scene.
Fail of board scene.
Is this supposed to be a comedy?
Boring characters throughout.
Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.
All scenes too unbelievable.
Fail of elevator scene.
Fail of climax scene.
Good ending.
Characters are flat. But it’s based on a true story, so…
I Saw the Light, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Marc Abraham
Director: Marc Abraham
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: A couple wants a better life.
Story: Ambition, Relationships
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of marriage scene.
Fail of car scene.
Fail of recording scenes throughout.
Boring scenes throughout.
Fail of business deal scenes throughout.
Fail of stage scenes throughout.
Vertebrae not closed. Oh dear.
Fail of writing.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
Characters are flat. But it’s based on a true story, so…
Less than $2 million at the box office. Ouch.
The Young Messiah, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Cyrus Nowrasteh, Betsy Giffen Nowrasteh
Director: Cyrus Nowrasteh
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: A boy wants a better life.
Story: Ambition, Ethics
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Good child acting by Adam Greaves-Neal.
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of mob scene.
Fail of miracle scenes throughout.
In the 21st century, Jesus as a child would have been drugged and then locked up in a psych ward.
Fail of ship scene.
Fail of battle scene.
Fail of devil scenes throughout.
Only one miracle. Roman steel. That should be trademarked.
House will last forever. Yah...no. But then again, if he was referring to the Illuminati’s control over humanity (with religion as one major lever of control), he would be correct.
Decent climax scene.
Fail of ending.
Fail of writing. But a good attempt. I'm sure more will try to capture the early life of Jesus in future live action movies. But the production budgets would have to be less than $5 million.
Queen of Katwe, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: William Wheeler
Director: Mira Nair
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: Schools don't want to educate slum children.
Story: Ambition, Family
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Good boy dancer scene.
Fail of school scenes throughout.
Weak scenes throughout.
Chess as a means to move forward. Oh dear. I hate chess because it’s not a good representation of reality with its rules.
Too proud to accept prostitution money. Well said.
Fail of most scenes. Boring scenes throughout. Fail of writing.
Fail of climax scene.
Good ending.
Flat characters. But it’s based on a true story, so…
Southside With You, 2016: FAIL
Commercial Success
Writer: Richard Tanne
Director: Richard Tanne
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: A man wants a better life.
Story: Ambition, Relationships
Characters: Fail
Acting: Fail
Fail of Tika Sumpter's acting. Not the right actress for the role.
Fail of Parker Sawyers' acting. Not the right actor for the role.
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of street scene.
Fail of art gallery scene.
Fail of date scenes throughout.
Boring scenes throughout. Fail of writing.
Fail of church scene.
Fail of climax scene.
This movie was about Barak Obama? Could have fooled me.
Another flat movie. But it’s based on a true story, so…
Bleed for This, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Ben Younger
Director: Ben Younger
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: A boxer wants a better life.
Story: Ambition
Characters: Fail
Acting: Fail
Fail of Miles Teller's acting. Not the right actor for the role.
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Christ, how many boxing movies do I have to watch?
Fail of weigh in scene.
Fail of casino scene.
Good boxing scenes throughout.
Fail of house scene.
Fail of training scenes.
Boring scenes throughout.
Decent accident scene.
Fail of recovering scenes throughout.
Fail of dinner scene.
Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
Fail of writing. Decent directing.
Flat characters. But it’s based on true story, so…
10 Cloverfield Lane, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Success
Writer: Josh Campbell, Matt Stuecken, Damien Chazelle
Director: Dan Trachtenberg
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: A man wants to hold a woman captive.
Story: Survival
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Decent intro.
And the plot thickens.
Boring captive scenes throughout.
Good door scene.
Boring scenes throughout. Fail of writing.
Fail of climax scene.
Decent ending.
3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.
I’m sorry, but I couldn’t appreciate the brilliance of this movie.
Green Room, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Jeremy Saulnier
Director: Jeremy Saulnier
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: Neo-Nazis want to kill a girl.
Story: Survival, Ambition
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of house scene.
Decent performance scene.
Fail of hall scene.
Fail of cop scene.
Always a pleasure to see Jean Luc Picard from Star Trek: TNG (Patrick Stewart).
Fail of room scenes throughout.
Weak scenes throughout. Fail of writing.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
How did this movie get a wide release?
Complete fail of writing.
Hello, My Name is Doris, 2016: PASS
Epic Commercial Success
Writer: Michael Showalter, Laura Terruso
Director: Michael Showalter
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: A woman wants to deal with her trauma.
Story: Relationships, Character
Characters: Pass
Acting: Pass
Excellent acting by Sally Field. She was meant for this role.
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of office scene.
Fail of self help scene.
Good pump scene.
Good fantasy scene.
Good Facebook scenes throughout.
Baby Goya. Jokes.
Decent dinner scene.
Good club scene.
Good diner scene.
Ah…the other woman.
That looks like a Neumann TLM-102 mic. Which doesn't make sense because it's a bar and you'd pick up all the ambient noise. Just stick with an SM5B.
Good sad scene.
Good house family scene.
Excellent friend fight scene.
"Move the f*ck on." Jokes.
Good both dinner scenes.
Naked bodies twitching. Jokes.
Good rejection scene.
Good climax scene.
Good ending.
Good writing, excellent acting.
This was a surprisingly good movie.
$1 million production budget. That's what I'm talking about. Even though that means that the actors were getting paid next to nothing.
Demolition, 2016: PASS
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Bryan Sipe
Director: Jean-Marc Vallee
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: A man wants to deal with his trauma.
Story: Ambition, Character
Characters: Pass
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of house scene.
Good narration and multiple clip scene.
Decent father in law scene.
Gypsy moths. Jokes.
Good train scene.
Yah, I thought so. Liberal ideologies. What did you expect?
Good airport scene.
This is what I'd expect from a liberal.
Good letter scenes.
Good work scenes throughout
Good backward motions street scene.
Good house speech scene.
Good climax scene.
Good ending.
Solid writing, directing, acting.
Should have made more money.
The Danish Girl, 2016: PASS
Commercial Success
Writer: Lucinda Coxon
Director: Tom Hooper
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: A couple wants to have a child.
Story: Relationships, Character
Characters: Pass
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Decent intro.
Good bed scene.
Submit to a woman's gaze. Oh dear.
Good painting scenes throughout.
Good sex scenes throughout.
Good gala scene.
Good kiss scene.
Good mirror scene.
Good real plot.
Good house scene.
Good tone to movie. Good directing.
Good therapist scene.
Good brothel scene.
Good couple scenes throughout.
Good argument scene.
Good fight scene.
Good climax scene.
Good ending.
Excellent directing and acting. Good writing.
One of the best movies of all time.
Morgan, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Seth Owen
Director: Luke Scott
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: A company wants to create synthetic being.
Story: Ambition
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Decent intro.
Hey, the girl from House of Cards (Kate Mara).
Fail of room scene.
Fail of Cathy room scene.
Good video scenes.
Fail of Morgan meeting scene.
Fail of dinner scene.
Fail of tone of movie.
Fail of outside talk scene.
Fail of flashback scene.
Fail of psyc scene.
Fail of all scenes after psyc scene.
Complete fail of writing.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
Fail of writing, good directing.
Love & Friendship, 2016: FAIL
Commercial Success
Writer: Whit Stillman
Director: Whit Stillman
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: A mother wants a suitor for her daughter.
Story: Relationships, Family
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Boring scenes throughout.
Removed from school. Oh dear.
Fail of all mother/daughter scenes throughout.
The law of the universe. Oh dear.
How many more period pieces is Hollywood going to make? Christ.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
The Shallows, 2016: PASS
Commercial Success
Writer: Anthony Jaswinski
Director: Jaume Collet-Serra
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: A shark wants to kill people.
Story: Survival
Characters: Pass
Acting: Pass
Good acting by Blake Lively.
Comments:
Decent intro.
Decent truck scene.
Excellent cinematography throughout.
Good phone scene.
Good shark scenes throughout.
As if she could survive a shark attack, but...
Good tone to movie. Good directing.
Good middle aged guy scene.
Tosses the boards. Jokes.
Good shark circling scene.
Good jellyfish scene.
Good climax scene.
Excellent ending.
This is the cinematographer you want for your blockbuster movie.
Excellent writing, directing. Good acting.
The Bronze, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Melissa Rauch, Winston Rauch
Director: Bryan Buckley
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: A gymnast wants a better life.
Story: Ambition
Characters: Fail
Acting: Fail
Fail of Melissa Rauch's acting. Not the right actress for the role.
Comments:
Good intro.
Good room scene.
Fail of mail scene.
Good diner scenes throughout.
Fail of home scenes throughout.
Is this supposed to be a comedy?
Fail of bar scene.
Fail of room scene.
Fail of training scenes throughout.
Fail of mall scene.
Fail of competition scenes.
Fail of father/daughter room scene.
Fail of sex scenes.
Decent climax scene.
Fail of ending.
Shut In, 2016: PASS
Commercial Failure
Writer: Christina Hodson
Director: Farren Blackburn
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: Parents want to send their boy to a boarding school.
Story: Family
Characters: Pass
Acting: Pass
Fail of Charlie Heaton's acting. Not the right actor for the role.
Comments:
Good intro.
Good accident scene.
Good home scenes throughout.
Grabs her hand. Nice.
Excellent bedroom door scene.
Excellent night scenes throughout. Holy f*ck.
And the plot thickens.
Good climax scene.
Decent ending.
Room, 2016: PASS
Potential Profit
Writer: Emma Donoghue
Director: Lenny Abrahamson
Dialogue: Pass
Excellent dialogue throughout.
Plot: A man wants to keep a woman and child captive.
Story: Family, Ambition
Characters: Pass
Acting: Pass
Good child acting by Jacob Tremblay.
Good acting by Brie Larson.
Comments:
Decent intro.
Good child scenes throughout.
Good yelling scene.
The plot looks unbelievable, even though it's quite possible.
Very sad movie. Kudos.
Good tone to movie.
Good truck scene.
Good cop scenes throughout.
Good hospital scenes throughout.
Good family scenes throughout.
Good climax scene.
Decent ending.
Good acting, writing, directing.
Risen, 2016: FAIL
Commercial Failure
Writer: Kevin Reynolds, Paul Aiello
Director: Kevin Reynolds
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: Romans want to suppress Jews.
Story: Ambition, Character
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Good acting by Joseph Fiennes.
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Walking on top of the shields. Nicely done.
Good battle scene.
Fail of Pontius Pilate scenes throughout.
Fail of post death scene.
Fail of bath scene.
Decent Pharisee scene.
Fail of search scene.
Fail of interview scene.
Fail of dream scene.
At least Jesus was played by a visible minority actor this time. That counts for something.
"Everyone who believes gets eternal life." That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And yet billions of religious people believe that. How sad.
Fail of door scene.
Fail of Jesus house scene.
Fail of all scenes after.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
For 2015 and 2016 I think that's at least 3 Jesus movies put out by Hollywood. Why?
Florence Foster Jenkins, 2016: PASS
Commercial Failure
Writer: Nicholas Martin
Director: Stephen Frears
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: A woman wants a better life.
Story: Ambition, Relationships
Characters: Pass
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Good bed scene.
Decent opera scene.
Excellent singing training scenes. His face is jokes.
Good elevator talk scene.
Decent prep scenes.
Good concert scene.
Good apartment party scene.
Good morning apartment scene.
Good recording scene.
Good apartment scene.
Good auditorium talk scene.
Fail of restaurant scene.
Good climax scene.
Good ending.
Nerve, 2016: FAIL
Commercial Success
Writer: Jessica Sharzer
Director: Henry Joost, Ariel Schulman
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: A mother wants her daughter to go to a college nearby.
Story: Family, Ambition, Relationships
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of diner scene.
Ah...the foolishness of liberals.
Fail of diner scene.
Fail of clothes scene.
This is the dumbest game I've ever seen.
Fail of street scene.
Fail of party scene.
What would happen if the internet crashed? This Generation Z asswipes would most likely go insane.
Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
Fail of writing. Too stupid.
How to be Single, 2016: PASS
Potential Profit
Writer: Abby Kohn, Marc Silverstein, Dana Fox
Director: Christian Ditter
Dialogue: Pass
Excellent dialogue throughout.
Plot: Various women want a better life.
Story: Relationships
Characters: Pass
Acting: Pass
Excellent acting by Rebel Wilson.
Comments:
Good intro.
Good dorm scene.
Good hospital scene.
Body went to sh*t. Vagina so loose. Jokes.
Excellent tour scene. Should have gone on longer.
Good bar scene.
Sausage wallet. Jokes.
Good apartment scene.
Good shopping scene.
Good hospital scene.
Manwhores and sluts. Lovely.
Decent guy apartment scene.
Good bar scene.
Excellent lobby talk scene.
Decent Christmas party scene.
Good train scene.
Good reading scene.
Good fight scene.
Good baby store scene.
Decent climax scene.
Fail of ending.
Good writing, directing, acting.
Passed with 3 writers. Well done.
Don't Breathe, 2016: PASS
Epic Commercial Success
Writer: Fede Alvarez, Rodo Sayagues
Director: Fede Alvarez
Dialogue: Pass
Plot: Thieves want to steal from homes.
Story: Ambition, Survival
Characters: Pass
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Decent theft scene.
40% cut. Really?
300K. That's it?
Good trailer scene.
Who targets a blind former veteran grieving father? That's powerfully stupid thinking. But Generation Z isn't really that intelligent.
Step into my future home and I'll slit your throat before you have a chance to cry out. Not really, but....you never know.
Good dog scene.
Excellent house scenes throughout.
Excellent room scene.
Just kill them all. F*ck sakes. You’re within your legal rights sir.
Excellent fight scene.
This is a weird but good movie.
And the plot thickens.
I was wondering where the dog was.
Excellent directing.
And the plot thicken again.
Excellent writing.
Excellent downstairs scene.
Good climax scene.
Decent ending.
Excellent characters and directing.
Pete's Dragon, 2016: FAIL
Commercial Failure
Writer: David Lowery, Toby Halbrooks
Director: David Lowery
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: Wolves want to kill a boy.
Story: Family, Relationships
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Good intro.
Oh dear god that's an ugly dragon-like creature.
Fail of all scenes. Everything is too stupid, even for kids. Complete fail of writing.
Fail of all regular home scenes.
Fail of capture scene. As if.
Everything is beyond suspension of disbelief.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
Fail of writing and directing.
Hollywood is really banking on safe bets. Movies that have a large following prior. P*ssies.
Denial, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: David Hare
Director: Mick Jackson
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: A man wants to deny the holocaust.
Story: Ambition, Ethics
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Good acting by Tom Wilkinson.
Comments:
Fail of intro.
Fail of speech scene.
Just so you know, if you want to be at the top, you have to debate people you don't want to debate. Otherwise you're just an academic p*ssy in your bubble world.
Boring scenes throughout.
Lawsuits against holocaust deniers will never stop holocaust denial.
A court of law deciding history. It's debatable. A good deal of history is just bias and propaganda written by whoever has power.
Fail of dinner scene.
Good holocaust visit scene.
Fail of night talk scene.
Boring court scenes throughout.
Everyone can believe what they want. If it hurts you, that's life. Early, Medieval, and Renaissance Christians believed that anyone who wasn't with them was against them and killed them.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of ending.
$10 million production budget. Really?
The Neon Demon, 2016: FAIL
Epic Commercial Failure
Writer: Mary Laws, Nicolas Winding Refn, Polly Stenham
Director: Nicolas Winding Refn
Dialogue: Fail
Plot: A woman wants a better life.
Story: Ambition, Relationships
Characters: Fail
Acting: Pass
Comments:
Fail of intro. Wrong music content.
Fail of room scene.
Fail of bathroom scene.
Fail of interview scene.
Ah…the life of high fashion modeling. Lovely.
Fail of outdoor scene.
Fail of motel scene.
Ah…the sad life of beautiful White girls. Cry me a river.
Fail of set scene.
Fail of restaurant scene.
Fail of modeling interview scene.
Boring scenes throughout.
Fail of restaurant scene.
Fail of climax scene.
Fail of writing but good directing.
3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.