Hollywood Movie Review Series:

*Movies are in no particular order. Please use Crtl F on your keyboard to find a particular movie. Movies that got a wide release in the year after their first screening are listed in the next year. For example, 300 (2006) is listed in 2007 because it only got a wide release in 2007.

*Don't worry about spoilers. You can read the review of any movie without being afraid of spoilers and enjoy the movie if you watch it. I intentionally made sure not to ruin a movie by revealing a hidden plot or hidden climax scene. I simply pass or fail each scene and comment on them.

Gosford Park, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Julian Fellowes

Director: Robert Altman

Dialogue: Fail

Long-winded dialogue in the beginning, unnecessary.

"No one could stab a corpse and not know it." "Really, when was the last time you stabbed a corpse." Good line and delivery.

Plot: Someone wants to kill a baron.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Too many unnecessary characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Showing the leisure of British aristocracy is powerfully uninteresting.

Fail of almost all scenes. powerfully boring. Fail of writing.

Servants b*tching about their jobs. Meh.

Plot doesn't start until 1:18:45.

Servants micromanaging could be interesting, but not in this movie.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Scooby-Doo, 2002: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: James Gunn

Director: Raja Gosnell

Dialogue: Fail

Complete failure of all dialogue.

Plot: Someone wants to brainwash college students.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Fail

All characters too corny.

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Sarah Michelle Gellar. What a blast from the past.

Freddie Prince Jr. Wow. A definite blast from the past.

What is this supposed to be, a family Ghostbusters movie?

Pamela Anderson. Oh dear.

Fail of CGI dog.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Stupid funny again. Sigh.

Fail of airport scene.

Fail of airline scene.

Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean). A pleasure sir.

Fail of beach scene.

What was the music clearance bill for this movie?

Fail of all haunted house scenes.

Fail of ghost party scene.

Stretching CGI. That must have taken some fancy editing in 2002.

Fail of all hotel scenes throughout.

Decent body change scene.

Protoplasm/souls as energy source. Yup, sounds about right.

Fail of real plot. Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

The Count of Monte Christo, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jay Wolpert

Director: Kevin Reynolds

Dialogue: Fail

All dialogue feels forced and fake.

Plot: A man wants to betray another man.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

No emotional investment in any character.

Acting: Fail

Complete failure of all acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Another period piece. God help me.

Fail of all battle/fight scene throughout.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Takes too long to get to the plot.

Fail of music content throughout.

Fail of all prison scenes throughout.

Fail of all prosecutor scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

A Walk to Remember, 2002: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Karen Janszen

Director: Adam Shankman

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of cheesy dialogue.

Plot: A principal wants to punish a student.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Mandy Moore.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail dumb White people scene. Oh yah, I forgot about the token Black guy.

He expected to get away in a red car. Really?

Fail of church scene.

Fail of principal punishment scene.

Too predictable and flat.

Decent bus scene.

Fail of theater scene.

Good guy/girl dating scenes throughout.

Good theater scene.

Fail of cafeteria scene.

Fail of mother scene.

2002 and cancer. Definitely no medical marijuana for you.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

I wonder who gets cancer more, religious people or atheist liberals? Obviously, cancer doesn't discriminate. Not that cancer has intentionality of course. But it would be interesting to see the comparison. But I would bet that the rate would be higher for religious people.

8 Mile, 2002: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Scott Silver

Director: Curtis Hanson

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A White rapper wants a better life.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Fail of Janeane character. But it’s based on a true story, so…

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Eminem. I'd like to see him in more films. Just like Sean Diddy Combs, Eminem has great acting potential.

Comments:

Excellent bathroom intro.

Good rap battle scene.

Good trailer scenes throughout.

Good car fixing song scene.

Just so you know, rap in general is garbage. Freestyle is good. Note the distinction.

Good street rap scene.

Good trailer park scenes throughout.

Good car scenes throughout.

Fail of fight scene.

Good work rap scene.

Sex right in the manufacturing plant. F*ck yah.

Buck tooth. Jokes.

Good trailer fight scene.

Sad plot. But well done.

Excellent mother/son argument scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Decent ending.

About a Boy, 2002: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Peter Hedges, Chris Weitz, Paul Weitz

Director: Chris Weitz, Paul Weitz

Dialogue: Pass

"I just thought you had hidden depths." "Oh no no no no, you've always had that wrong. I really am this
shallow." Good line and delivery.

"Suzie has every right to express her anger Will." "Right, and she's expressed it. Now I have a right to
bugger off."

"You like rap?" "A little. It's by Black people mostly, and they're pretty angry most of the time. But
sometimes they just want to have sex."

Excellent dialogue throughout.

Plot: A man wants a regular bachelor life.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Hugh Grant.

Excellent acting by Nicholas Hoult.

Comments:

Good narrated intro.

Good child holding scene.

Good cinematography throughout.

Good date scene.

Good narration throughout.

Good cereal scene.

Excellent contrast of the two lives. Excellent writing.

Good group scene.

Good parking car seat scene.

Good cop bread scene.

Good mother/son scenes throughout.

Excellent man/boy scenes throughout.

Walks away from charity food line. Jokes.

Excellent restaurant confrontation scene. Very well done. Kudos to the writer.

Ah…the odd British accent and colloquial speech. A mystery.

Good school scenes throughout.

Good house blowup scene.

Good car scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid comedy-drama movie. Well done.

Passed with 3 writers. Well done.

National Lampoon's: Van Wilder, 2002: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Brent Goldberg, David T. Wagner

Director: Walt Becker

Dialogue: Pass

"You see, I cannot go home a virgin. I came here to study the great American art of muff diving." Good line, excellent delivery.

"You have shown me a life I could have only dream about back home while masturbating in my father's wood shed." Excellent line and delivery.

Plot: A father wants his son to graduate.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent party scenes throughout.

Excellent sex scene between Richard and girlfriend. Very well done.

Excellent gay sexual tension scene.

Good study scenes throughout.

Solid comedy writing.

Good parents scene.

Good solution scenes throughout.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

$5 million production budget. Wow, what a pay cut for Ryan Reynolds.

The writer, director, producer and studio executives knew their market and audience for this movie. Well done.

One of the best movies of all time.

Red Dragon, 2002: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Ted Tally

Director: Brett Ratner

Dialogue: Pass

"You're in chalk now. I don't want you to feel any pain. In a moment you'll begin to be light-headed, then drowsy. Don't resist. So gentle, like slipping into a warm bath." Wow. What a line.

"That's interesting." "That's not interesting, you thought of that before." Good line and delivery.

Plot: Someone wants to kill people.

Story: Ethics, Family

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters throughout.

Excellent Hannibal character. Wow.

Good Reba McClane character.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Anthony Hopkins.

Good acting by Edward Norton. Those baby blue eyes could melt butter.

Comments:

Fail of orchestra intro.

Good dinner intro.

Excellent after dinner intro. Wow. Very well done.

Excellent jail scenes throughout.

Excellent music content throughout. This is the composer you want for your dark movie.

Excellent multiple newspaper clip scene.

Good house beach scene.

Excellent house investigative scene.

Good police scene.

Good diner scene.

Psychiatrists that love to study serial killers. Sigh.

Excellent jail cell. Well done art department.

Excellent jail cell scene.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Excellent jail walking scene.

Excellent jail phone scene.

Good villain scenes throughout.

Good jail maintenance scene.

Excellent police scenes throughout.

Excellent home night scene.

Good torture scene.

Good jail mirror shot.

Oh…the tiger is so cute and loving.

Good home scene.

Decent attack scene.

Excellent waiter jail scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

This movie should have made more money.

Excellent writing, directing, acting, cinematography.

One of the best movies of all time.

Minority Report, 2002: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Scott Frank, Jon Cohen

Director: Steven Spielberg

Dialogue: Pass

"The power has always been with the priests. Even if they had to invent the oracle." Excellent line, good delivery.

Plot: Govt wants to nationalize a pre-crime program.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Very impressive future technology.

Good police prevention scene.

Excellent holographic technology throughout.

Interesting highway system.

"Nature of murder is destructive to metaphysical fabric that binds us." What a joke.

Good police office scene.

Good psychic grab scene.

Good police archive scene.

Fail music content. Reminds me of Star Wars and Indiana Jones. Not good for this movie.

Good house friend scene.

Fail of house search scene.

Good police office scene.

Fail of elevator scene.

Outdoor escape scene reminds me of Star Wars pod racing.

Eye scans across the city. It’s coming soon.

Good action cinematography scenes throughout.

Fail of car scene.

Automation scene again reminds me of Star Wars.

The old woman reminds me of the old woman in the 1962’s Manchurian Candidate movie.

Fail of old woman scene. Too much direct explanation. Should have found out through investigative scenes instead.

Fail of shady people scene.

Fail of home scene.

Good flashback scene.

Good escape scene.

Decent abduction scene.

Good hostage scene.

Good police explanation scene.

Good capture scene.

Excellent realization scene.

Good climax a scene.

Good ending.

Not the best movie, but still good enough to pass.

Men in Black II, 2002: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Robert Gordon, Barry Fanaro

Director: Barry Sonnenfeld

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: An alien wants to rule the universe.

Story: Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Tommy Lee Jones as usual.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good dog alien scene.

Good park scene.

Good worm/train scene.

Excellent mind erase scene.

Good pie restaurant scene.

Good office scene.

Excellent dog partner scene.

Excellent post office scene.

Good office scene.

Excellent deneuralizer scene.

Fail of MIB office scene.

Good realization scene.

Fail of office fight scene.

Good picture scene.

Excellent insect scene.

Excellent locker scene.

Excellent video store scene.

Decent flashback scene.

Excellent apartment scene.

Decent office MIB scene.

Excellent car chase scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Spiderman, 2002: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: David Koepp

Director: Sam Raimi

Dialogue: Pass

Corny dialogue but passable.

Plot: A defense contractor wants to win a military contract.

Story: Relationships, Ambition, Family

Characters: Pass

Solid characters all around.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Willem Dafoe’s acting.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good science museum scenes.

Fail of military contract scene.

Decent transformation scene.

Fail of secret testing scene.

Good morning apartment scene.

Excellent school scene.

Excellent backyard scene.

Good car scene.

Fail of cage fight scene.

Fail of fight scene.

Excellent home scene.

Good newsroom scene.

Good street talk scene.

Good news scene.

Excellent office scene. Yes, it’s a shame when you don't control your own company.

Good party scene attack.

Green costume is terrible. But this is a 2002 movie, so...

Decent friend talk scene.

Good house scene.

Fail of hero/villain talk scene.

Excellent alley scene with upside down kiss. Excellent cinematography shot.

Good fire scene, if not corny as hell. Christ.

Nice slow motion jump.

Good apartment scene.

Fail of fireplace scene, Too easy and cheesy. Oh…I should be a rapper.

Fail of apartment attack scene. Terrible.

Good hospital scene.

Good father son scene.

Excellent hospital scene.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Star Trek: Nemesis, 2002: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: John Logan

Director: Stuart Baird

Dialogue: Fail

"Of course you're happy, but what about my needs?" Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: Romulan military wants to launch a coup.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Fail of B4 character.

Fail of Shinzon character.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent music content throughout.

Weak plot. Seems forced. Fail of writing.

Fail of Shinzon/Picard talk scenes throughout.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Fail of real plot. Doesn’t make sense in terms of medical technology in the future.

Good special effects throughout.

Fail of Data/Picard talk scene.

Fail of telepathy solution.

Good climax battle scenes, but not enough to pass.

Decent ending.

I’m a trekkie…a TNG Trekkie. It pained me to fail this movie but I had too.

Signs, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: M. Night Shyamalan

Director: M. Night Shyamalan

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Aliens want to harass a rural family.

Story: Purpose, Family

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of all scenes. Too stupid.

Fail of video camera realization scene.

Fail of Shyamalan and Gibson talk scene.

Fail of all alien scenes throughout. Powerfully stupid.

Complete fail of writing. But good acting by Gibson as usual.

Powerfully stupid movie.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

How did this movie get a wide release? Star power.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $400 million proves that goes does NOT exist.

Catch Me If You Can, 2002: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Jeff Nathanson

Director: Steven Spielberg

Dialogue: Pass

"If you're a father you'd know, I would never give up my son." Good line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Character, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Christopher Walken.

Good acting by Leonardo DiCaprio.

Decent acting by Tom Hanks.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good stage scene.

Good bank scene.

Good school scene.

Decent family scene.

Good bank scene.

Good phone scene.

Thanking people for using a bank. Oh dear.

Sweet talking bank tellers. A time long ago.

Good airline/hotel scene. Could have been better.

Good restaurant scene.

Excellent hotel wallet scene. Very well done.

Decent office scene.

Goldfinger movie. How much did the music clearance cost?

Decent hotel scene.

Good phone conversation scene.

Fail of hospital scene.

Decent house scene.

Fail of father/son scene.

"Ask me to stop." Sigh. You're an adult. Stop asking for the approval of your parents.

Good airport scene.

Good office scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Analyze That, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Kenneth Lonergan, Peter Tolan, Peter Steinfeld, Harold Ramis

Director: Harold Ramis

Dialogue: Fail

Decent thought dialogue.

"Get in the car." "We're going to the prom?" "Shut up and get in the car." Good line, fail in delivery.

Plot: Someone wants to kill a mafia boss.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Both characters too weak.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Jimmy Crystal.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of jail scene.

Excellent church visualization scene.

Fail of jail mayhem scene.

Good house interrogation scene.

Fail of analyzing scene.

Decent FBI office scene.

Good car scene.

Fail of house sex scene.

Decent talk scene.

Decent mafia woman scene.

Fail of car dealership scene.

Fail of restaurant job scene.

Fail of jewelry store scene.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of room scene.

No music effects at all. Dead tone to movie. Fail of directing.

Fail of mob office scene.

Fail of consultant scenes throughout.

Fail of psychiatrist mob woman scene.

Fail of car chase scene.

Fail of stripper scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Fail of writing and directing.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Insomnia, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Hillary Seitz

Director: Christopher Nolan

Dialogue: Fail

Dialogue dry and flat.

Plot: Someone wants to kill a woman.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters except Walter Finch.

Acting: Fail

Good acting by Hilary Swank.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good examination scene.

One murder in Alaska and two LAPD detectives come to Alaska. Really?

Internal affairs excuse is unbelievable.

Decent diner talk scene.

Good student investigation scene.

Fail of stake out/attack scene.

Good phone conversation scene.

Fail of dog frame up scene.

Fail of office scene.

Good phone killer conversation.

Fail of car truck scene.

Fail of chase scene.

Fail of meeting scene and after. Doesn't make sense. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Fail of writing.

Die Another Day, 2002: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Neal Purvis, Robert Wade

Director: Lee Tamahori

Dialogue: Fail

"Can I expect the pleasure of you in Iceland?" "I'm afraid you'll never have that pleasure Mr. Bond." Good line, weak delivery.

Plot: Terrorists want to control the world.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Weak characters throughout.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Halle Berry’s acting.

Fail of Rosamund Pike’s acting.

Fail of Michael Madsen acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro. Too stupid. Facial recognition should be obvious.

Garbage beginning forest fight scene.

Decent torture scene.

Good x-ray scenes.

Fail of hospital escape scene. Too unbelievable.

Interesting china hotel scenes.

Fail of Cuba office talk scene.

Fail of beach/sex scene. I didn't see her give verbal consent. That’s a no no in the MeToo movement.

Fail of island hospital scenes. Garbage writing.

Ah…British media like dogs serving rich White owners. And people wonder why the UK is the pedophile, surveillance, and corrupt capital of the Western-European world.

Madonna. Give it a rest. Either blow up the White House as an ultra feminist/Antifa terrorist or retire.

Singer Madonna defends 'blowing up the White House' remark

Madonna: 'Blowing up White House' taken out of context

Decent sword fight scene.

Good m subway scene.

Good Q/R scene.

Interesting ice palace stuff.

Good make out scene.

Decent realization scene.

Good ice car chase scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Jackass: The Movie, 2002: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: 19 writers. Geez. I’m not listing them.

Director: Jeff Tremaine

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Red neck idiots want to do stupid things.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Even though it's not really applicable.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of everything. Oh dear god. Complete fail of writing.

Should have been direct to video/streaming.

Normally, I wouldn't include a reality movie, but it did get a major theatrical release.

Fail of almost all scenes. Too stupid.

The big cone bit was funny.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $70 million proves that God does NOT exist.

19 writers. Way too many cooks in the kitchen.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding, 2002: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Nia Vardalos

Director: Joel Zwick

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A woman wants to marry outside of her nationality.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Excellent shot of Fortoula staring at Miller in beginning restaurant scene.

Putting Windex on all pains. Jokes.

Excellent family scenes throughout.

Excellent dad manipulation by the wife and aunt.

Grandma sneaking out and the sprinklers go off. Jokes.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Excellent writing, directing, acting.

Solid family movie to watch.

One of the best movies of all time.

Reign of Fire, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Matt Greenberg, Gregg Chabot, Kevin Peterka

Director: Rob Bowman

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Dragons want to destroy the Earth.

Story: Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Matthew McConaughey as usual.

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of jump in time.

Dragons awakening from modern construction. Too unbelievable. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Dragons killed dinosaurs and caused the ice age. Oh dear.

Fail of almost all scenes. Complete fail of writing.

Ah…the last fortress. Yah right. A dragon can easily destroy it.

Good McConaughey scenes throughout, but not enough to pass.

Complete fail of solution. Powerfully stupid.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Austin Powers: Goldmember, 2002: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Mike Myers, Michael McCullers

Director: Jay Roach

Dialogue: Pass

A lot of corny dialogue.

"Run, it's Godzilla." "It looks like Godzilla, but due to international copyright laws, it's not Godzilla." "Still, we should run like it is Godzilla." "Though it isn't." Excellent line and delivery. Very well done.

Plot: An evil genius wants to destroy the Earth.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Pass

Decent characters.

Acting: Pass

Decent acting. But the characters aren't that strong anyways.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Excellent dance intro.

Good evil plot scene.

Excellent mole issue.

Good dance scene.

Good jail scene.

Decent flashbacks.

Excellent prison door scene.

Decent car scene.

And we're in another dance scene.

Good subtitle scene. Well done.

Decent interrogation scene.

And we're in another dance scene. Sigh.

Decent jail scene.

Decent submarine scene.

Excellent sumo scene.

Excellent Japanese subtitle scene.

Good peeing scene.

Good father/son car scene.

Excellent mini-me scene.

Excellent mellon scene.

Excellent behind the curtain shot.

Good climax scene.

Belgians made you evil. Jokes.

Fail of ending. There's a limit to idiocy.

Ah…nice to see Britney Spears before her downfall.

Solid comedy.

Road to Perdition, 2002: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: David Self

Director: Sam Mendes

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A mafia enforcer wants revenge.

Story: Family, Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Tyler Hoechlin.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Another period piece. Period pieces forever. Lovely.

Fail of regular life scenes throughout.

Things didn't get moving until 25 minutes into it.

Excellent tone of movie.

Excellent scenes with tom hanks throughout.

Good meeting boss scene.

Excellent music content.

Excellent rain kill scene.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

The Adventures of Pluto Nash, 2002: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Neil Cuthbert

Director: Ron Underwood

Dialogue: Fail

"My moon card expired." Oh dear god.

Plot: Mobsters want to collect money.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Complete failure of all characters. Oh dear god.

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting except Alec Baldwin.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of problem scene.

Decent jump in time.

Fail of bar/talk scene

Fail of office scene. Clinton on the money in the future. Jokes.

Fail of attack scene.

Almost every scene looks like fake props. Please shoot in 24FPS with adequate depth of field. It’s not rocket science.

Fail of motel scene.

Weird robot scenes throughout.

Good cosmetic surgery scene.

Fail of escape scene.

Gun at a hologram. Jokes.

Good cab scenes throughout.

A lot of names in this movie.

Decent attack/bathroom scene.

Excellent slot machine scene.

Fail of casino scene.

Good twin women scenes.

Good potential elevator scene.

And the plot thickens.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

$7 million at the box office on a $100 million dollar movie. Holy f*ck, I think that's the box office bomb
record since Eddie Murphy demands top dollar upfront, which is understandable.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

The Bourne Identity, 2002: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Tony Gilroy, William Blake Herron

Director: Doug Liman

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: CIA black ops want to assassinate a politician.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting from Matt Damon as usual.

Excellent acting by old glasses guy.

Comments:

Good boat intro.

Excellent park bench scene.

Good bank scene.

Excellent music content.

Excellent embassy scene. Very well done.

Excellent fight scene cinematography throughout.

Odd that no one can see him outside embassy. But I’ll let that slide.

Ah…2002 computers. How far we've come with garbage Windows 8, 10 and 11 today.

Good old pagers.

Good car talk.

Excellent fight scene.

Good car chase scene.

Snipers are p*ssies. Yah, I said it.

Good forest area fight scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

The Good Girl, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Mike White

Director: Miguel Arteta

Dialogue: Fail

"Here's your change, f*ck you very much." "Excuse me." "Thank you very much."

Plot: A small town girl wants to have a better life.

Story: Family, Purpose, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Fail

Complete Fail of acting throughout.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of home scenes throughout.

Boring and flat dialogue. Fail of writing.

Ah…the slutty cheating woman enslaved by religion.

Try to empower yourself instead of making shitty choices.

Too much narration.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

This movie wouldn't have been made or gotten a wide-release without Jennifer Aniston.

The Sweetest Thing, 2002: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Nancy Pimental

Director: Roger Kumble

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A guy wants to break up with his girlfriend.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Thomas Jane.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Decent talk scene.

Good home scene.

Good party scene.

Feeling fake breasts in the bathroom. Jokes.

A keyboard at a restaurant, then a musical. Too dumb.

A stuffed elephant surprising the girl. Jokes.

Musicals parts are too dumb.

Puppy on the bathroom door. Jokes.

Screwing purple elephant in the change room? Jokes.

Decent wedding scene.

Piercing on his d*ck is stuck. Jokes. Very well done.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

Weak movie, but enough comedy to pass.

Unfaithful, 2002: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Alvin Sargent, William Broyles Jr.

Director: Adrian Lyne

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A married mother wants to have an affair.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting all around.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good home scenes throughout.

Wind effect is too dumb. Could have used something else for them to meet.

Good wife/husband scenes throughout.

Gentlemen, that's what happens when you don't eat p*ssy. If she’s liberal, she'll find someone else who does. And ladies, same for blowjobs and swallowing. It's not rocket science people.

Good firing scene.

Good investigative scene.

Excellent music content.

That was pretty rough dominant sex. She said no, but she loved it. What would the MeToo movement think?

Excellent husband/guy confrontation scene.

Excellent answering machine scene. Very well done.

Excellent climax scene.

Good ending.

Should have made more money.

Death to Smoochy, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Adam Resnick

Director: Danny DeVito

Dialogue: Fail

Weak and corny dialogue throughout.

Plot: A TV network wants to replace a show.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Fail

Weak acting from Robin Williams and Edward Norton.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of problem. Too stupid. Introduced to quickly. At least it’s not pedophilia like the Catholic Church.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of solution scene.

Fail of song scene.

Fail of all smooch scenes. Just terrible character. Fail of writing.

Fail of night car talk scene.

Rocket ship. Well done covering that one up.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of argument scene. Hungry, angry, lonely, tired (HALT). I’ve never heard of that until today.

Fail of almost all scenes. Complete fail of writing. Oh dear god.

Fail of threat scene.

Fail of Nazi scene. Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of all Robin Williams’ character scenes throughout.

Fail of realization scene.

Fail of police/paparazzi scene.

Decent sex scene.

Fail of kill scene.

Fail of gun scene.

Fail of pre-climax scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Fail of acting and writing.

How did this movie get a wide release? Star power.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made just over $ 8 million proves that God DOES exist.

The Hot Chick, 2002: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Tom Brady, Rob Schneider

Director: Tom Brady

Dialogue: Pass

"I should have made love to you when I had the chance." Good line and delivery.

Plot: A wiccan wants to hex a girl.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Plot is stupid, but…

Good club dancing scene.

Good Billy-Jessica prom scene.

Good bar owner facial look scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending scene.

Not the best comedy movie, but enough comedy to pass.

Punch-Drunk Love, 2002: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Paul Thomas Anderson

Director: Paul Thomas Anderson

Dialogue: Fail

Dialogue too stupid.

Plot: A man wants to be with a woman.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Boring scenes throughout.

Fail of all office scenes throughout.

Fail of family scene.

Fail of apartment scenes throughout.

Fail of date scene.

Fail of robbery scene.

Powerfully boring movie.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Terrible music content.

Fail of all Hawaii scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Complete fail of writing, acting, directing. Oh dear god.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst moves of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made under $25 million proves that God DOES exist.

Maid in Manhattan, 2002: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Kevin Wade

Director: Wayne Wang

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A woman wants a better life.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting by aide bald guy as usual.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good bus scene.

The training of maids. Oh dear.

Ah…maids serving rich people. What else is new.

Decent prep scenes.

Fail of all politician scenes throughout.

Ah…the life of maids and rich guests. According to the MeToo movement, the power dynamics wouldn’t allow them to consent.

Rich people stealing hotel supplies. Yup…sounds about right (which really does happen).

Ah…the lives of struggling beautiful visible minorities. Note the implied difference between regular looking visible minorities.

Decent nurse servicing scene.

Maids trying on a guests clothes. Oh dear.

Good elevator scene.

Good park scene.

Fail of manager office scene.

Good bathroom scene.

Good other woman apartment scene.

Fail of front office goddess woman.

Good manager-butler scene.

Borrowing a priceless necklace. Really?

Good ballroom scene.

Fingers stroking her lips. I can't help but think of the Aziz Ansari story.

Aziz Ansari Accused of Sexual Misconduct by Photographer

Good realization scene.

Good street scene.

Good pre-climax scene.

Decent climax scene.

Good ending.

Not the best movie, but passable.

Showtime, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jorge Saralegui, Keith Sharon

Director: Tom Dey

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A TV network wants to boost their ratings.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Eddie Murphy’s acting.

Fail of Rene Russo’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Lawsuit for reality show. Nuff said.

Fail of all scenes. Complete fail of writing.

This movie could have been made without Murphy and Russo and would have recouped the budget.

A staged fight. Oh dear.

Even William Shatner’s star power can't save this movie. Why? Because the writing is garbage. If the writing is garbage everything else is window dressing on top of garbage.

How many times did Robert De Niro frown in this movie? Too many to count.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

I Spy, 2002: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Cormac Wibberley, Marianne Wibberley, Jay Scherick, David Ronn

Director: Betty Thomas

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue.

Plot: US agents want to get back a stolen stealth plane.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Owen Wilson was not the right actor for this role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

From boxing to auction. Sigh.

Tattoo the wins on your arm. Interesting. Self-mutilation with self-confidence.

Bad ripoff of spy movies.

Wilson character is a jealous idiot, but smart enough to test Murphy and run ops. Really?

Complete fail of solution to plot. No agency would be this stupid.

Fail of writing.

Even Canadian intelligence wouldn't be this dumb. Canadian what? Exactly.

Fail of knife scenario. Lots of comedy potential wasted.

Same situation with red carpet scene and car chase. All wasted comedy potential.

Good double vision boxing scene.

Booty blind. That would have worked if introduced near the beginning.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Two Weeks Notice, 2002: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Marc Lawrence

Director: Marc Lawrence

Dialogue: Pass

"You are still getting divorced?" "Unless my ex-wife decides to fall in love with me again, or for the first time, yes." Excellent line, fail in delivery.

"I have very loyal employees. I think it's the health plan." "Yes, the health plan is excellent." Good line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A corporation wants to destroy a community.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Sandra bullock as usual.

Comments:

Decent music/picture intro.

Fail of demolition scene.

Ah…a hippie liberal fighting for her causes. Sandra Bullock pulls it off well. All she needed was to be a vegan. But it doesn't matter, in the future, every liberal character in a Hollywood TV show and movie will soon be vegan. Not vegetarian, but vegan.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of exercise scene.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Decent outside talk scene.

Fail of car scene.

Fail of parents daughter talk scene.

Fail of jump in time. That's bad writing.

Fail of bar sleep scene.

Fail of divorce scene. Complete garbage.

Fail of wedding scene. No character should be this stupid.

Fail of office talk scene.

Fail of bathroom scene. Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of interview scene.

Fail of all boss/attorney talk scene.

How much was the music clearance bill for this movie? It must have been pretty high.

Fail of baby scene. If he said “morning” and the baby started crying, that would have been funny.

Good interview scene.

Decent baseball scene.

Decent tennis scene, but wasted comedy potential.

The emergency bathroom scene was the only comedic moment.

Fail of brother house scene.

Oh my god. Donald Trump? F*ck me.

Good pre-climax scene.

Fail of office goodbye scene.

Should have taken the promise in writing or in an email. And promises made in an email are legally binding in the courts. Verbal ones are also legally binding but only if you can prove it.

Fail of parents/daughter scene.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams, 2002: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Robert Rodriguez

Director: Robert Rodriguez

Dialogue: Fail

Complete failure of all dialogue. Oh dear god.

Plot: Terrorists want to steal a device.

Story: Ambition, Ethics, Family

Characters: Fail

Complete failure of all characters. Christ.

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Daryl Sabara.

Fail of Steve Buscemi’s acting.

Comments:

A juggling ride. That looks scary and fun. Can't imagine the liability insurance if it was real.

Fail of intro.

Good house hair scene.

Good father children dance scene.

Secret service corny dance. Jokes. Could have been better, but still good.

Dance ballet. Jokes. Unfortunately, it goes downhill from there.

Fail of kids fight scene.

Decent bad guy exit.

Terrible music content throughout.

Good tree house/office scene.

Fail of briefing scene.

An agent’s only as good as his gadgets. Oh dear.

Can the creepy Peewee guy stop looking directly into the camera?

Fail of ship scene.

Poofy water rafts. Well done.

Fail of desert scene.

Fail of office scene.

Decent CGI in 2002.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of island scene.

Fail of ship scene.

Khan. Oh dear god.

Fail of falling scene. Wasted comedy potential.

Mini animals. That's different.

Fail of island scene.

Decent ship scene.

And now we're in thought world?

Are the scenes being created as they go? Christ.

And terrible CGI monsters. Oh dear god.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

But good epilogue concert scene.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

Crossroads, 2002: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Shonda Rhimes

Director: Tamra Davis

Dialogue: Fail

Complete failure of all dialogue.

Plot: A girl wants a better life

Story: Purpose, Character, Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good house scenes throughout.

Britney spears and Dan Aykroyd. Wow. What a blast from the past.

Good attempted sex scene.

Reading off a paper. Jokes.

Decent forest scene.

Good phone conversation.

Good road trip scenes throughout.

Good bathroom scene.

Good karaoke scene.

Good camping scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

The Tuxedo, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Michael J. Wilson, Michael J. Leeson

Director: Kevin Donovan

Dialogue: Fail

Complete failure of all dialogue.

"Don't take advice from women about women." Good line and delivery.

Plot: A bottled water CEO wants to contaminate global water supplies.

Story: Ethics, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Jennifer Love Hewitt’s acting.

Fail of Romany Malco’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of taxi scene.

Everyone just standing around watching. Yup, sounds about right.

Ah…the days before Uber.

A driver for a secret agent. Of course that makes sense. It's too much to ask agents to know how to drive well.

Fail of driving scene.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of almost all scene.

Fail of lab scene.

Fail of jewelry store scene.

Fail of dance scene.

How much did Burger King pay for that product placement?

Skateboard following a car. Interesting.

Fail of ship scene.

CEOs treating their employees as disposable objects. Yup, sounds about right.

Fail of pre-op scene.

Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of ship scene.

Fail of all fight scenes.

Fail of gun training scene.

You gotta nice rack. That would be considered sexual harassment, even before the MeToo era.

Fail of dance scene.

Fail of table scene.

Fail of hotel scene.

Good camouflage scene.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of pre-climax scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Trapping a bug on her face. Jokes.

Fail of ending scene.

Not one of the worst movies of all time because of Jackie Chan, but pretty close.

Bad Company, 2002: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Jason Richman, Michael Browning

Director: Joel Schumacher

Dialogue: Fail

Weak dialogue throughout.

"You're in so deep with us now, we can never let you go." Really? Weak line, fail in delivery.

Plot: Terrorists want to sell a suitcase bomb.

Story: Ethics, Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Chris Rock acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of handover scene.

Fail of attack scene.

Good train scene.

Fail of club scene.

Fail of CIA intro scene.

Fail of all CIA scenes.

Gabriel Macht from Suits. Wow. Nice to see in a 2002 movie.

Usual Russian terrorist plot. Yawn.

Fail of agent meeting scene.

Fail of building attack scene.

Fail of rooftop scene.

Fail of mother scene.

Fail of diner scene.

Fail of op/confinement scene.

Fail of all hotel scenes.

Fail of girlfriend scene.

Fail of kiss scene.

Fail of all op prep scenes.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of museum scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Big Fat Liar, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Dan Schneider

Director: Shawn Levy

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A Hollywood producer wants to steal a kids essay for a movie.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Struck by a limousine. What is this, 1994's Blank Check?

The plot would make more sense if they started with Wolf's backstory and failings.

Fail of bully scene.

Underage kids fly to LA without chaperones. Okay there.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

Too stupid and unbelievable movie. The Hollywood bar is pretty low, but it shouldn't be this low.

Big Trouble, 2002: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Robert Ramsey, Matthew Stone

Director: Barry Sonnenfeld

Dialogue: Pass

"And your name is?" "This is my house." "Good for you, your name is…?" Good line, excellent delivery.

"I want to press charges. Cuff him." "My hands are kinda full right now, what with holding my d*ck and all." Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: Assassins wants to kill a man.

Story: Ambition, Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Fail of two idiot characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Dennis Farina.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Ugly fish, good beer. Jokes.

Good office scene.

What man buys a Geo? A liberal.

Good freeze shot of rifle.

Too much narration throughout.

Could have let the story play it out, like Oceans series.

Fail of bar scene.

Another foot man. Weird people.

Good pre-attack dog scene.

Watching Xena. Oh dear. That costs money.

Good attack confusion scene.

Good cop scene.

Weird Jesus guy and Nina couple scene.

Weird movie, stupid, but good.

Good car talk scene.

Weird Nina and Puggy couple.

Good office scene.

Good underground scene.

Good beach scene.

Good lunch scene.

Ah…the time when people could smoke in restaurants.

Fail of bar scene.

Good cop car scene.

Good boy/security guy cop scene.

Fail of bar intelligence scene.

Good house scene. Very stupid but it works in this movie.

Moron #2 got moron #1 all wet. Jokes.

Weird hallucination scene.

Fail of fed car scene.

Good goat highway scene. But could have been better.

Airport scene doesn't make sense.

Fail of car theft scene.

Decent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Running naked in the airport. Jokes.

This movie passed more on the strength of Dennis Farina's acting more than the writing.

Mr. Deeds, 2002: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Tim Herlihy

Director: Steven Brill

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: An interim CEO wants an heir to sell his shares.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Longfellow Deeds character too unbelievable.

Weak Emilio Lopez character.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of news room scenes throughout.

Fail of all mansion scenes throughout.

Too many scenes look fake, like props. Please shoot at 24 FPS with an adequate depth of field.

Fail of all scenes. Plot is too stupid. Fail of writing.

Good opera restaurant scene.

Stupid funny. Should have been direct to video/streaming.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Decent ending.

Fail of end scene.

Diary negates entire movie.

S1m0ne/Simone, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Andrew Niccol

Director: Andrew Niccol

Dialogue: Fail

Complete failure of dialogue.

Plot: An actress doesn't want to be in film.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Fail of Viktor Taransky character. Too unbelievable.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Al Pacino’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of solution.

Fail of all media/journalists scenes throughout. Complete fail. Oh dear god.

Fail of almost every scene. Complete fail of writing.

Performance is reflected on Egyptian pyramids. Oh dear.

Fail of police scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $20 million proves that God DOES exist.

The Master of Disguise, 2002: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Dana Carvey, Harris Goldberg

Director: Perry Andelin Blake

Dialogue: Fail

Complete failure of dialogue.

Plot: A smuggler wants to steal treasure.

Story: Character, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Brent spiner (Data from Star Trek TNG). Wow. Nice to see you. Shame you’re in a garbage movie.

Powerfully stupid movie.

Fail of all scene.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Good mansion dance scene.

How did this movie get a wide release in over 2500 theaters?

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made almost $50 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Panic Room, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: David Koepp

Director: David Fincher

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Thieves want to break into a safe in a panic room.

Story: Survival

Characters: Fail

Complete failure of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Entire movie is a waste of time. Fail of writing. Plot and solution is ridiculous.

No one hears a propane tank explosion. Really?

Criminals reflecting on their life. Oh dear.

Fail of cop scene. Ridiculous.

Fail of family gun scenes. Too ridiculous.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending. Oh dear god.

Not one of the worst movies, but pretty close.

Undercover Brother, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: John Ridley, Michael McCullers

Director: Malcolm D. Lee

Dialogue: Fail

"How Stella got a White man back?" Good line and delivery.

Plot: White people want to destroy Black culture.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Good Mr. Feather character.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Another stupid funny movie.

Hey, the principal guy from Boston Public (Chi McBride).

Ah…the time when Eddie Griffin was a huge star. Good times.

Fail of Mission Impossible parody scene.

Fail of bank scene.

Fail of every scene. Complete garbage. Fail of writing.

Fail of all Eddie Griffin scenes throughout.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of facility scene.

Good bad guy scenes. Destroy Black culture but loves it.

Fail of tech scene.

Fail of infiltration scene.

Complete fail of writing. This writer just doesn't give a f*ck.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Denise Richards. Wow. She's still in movies? That’s news to me. Oops, forgot that this is a 2002 movie.

Fail of chicken scene.

Good White girl sex explanation scene.

Too many garbage scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Did Universal Pictures really expect this movie to do well? I doubt it. Must be a conspiracy to create sh*tty Black movies and tell the media that Black movies "Just don't play well." Diabolical.

Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Steve Oedekerk

Director: Steve Oedekerk

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A group wants to kill a family.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro. Powerfully stupid.

CGI in 2002. Oh dear.

Fail of all training scenes.

Failure of all fighting scene.

Fail of every scene. Oh dear god. Complete fail of writing.

Golfer chucks. Oh dear.

Fail of old style Chinese fighting movies.

How did this movie get a wide release?

A living happy face tongue on his tongue. Sigh.

Flashing breast. Jokes.

A cow fighting scene. Oh dear god.

A talking sky lion. Oh dear god.

How much was the music clearance bill for this movie?

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made only $17 million proves that God DOES exist.

Friday After Next, 2002: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Ice Cube

Director: Marcus Raboy

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A landlord wants to evict tenants.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Dog doesn't detect the burglar? really?

Too much narration throughout.

Fail of most scenes.

How did this movie get a wide release? This movie is unbelievable stupid. Fail of writing.

Fail of idiot robbery scene.

Fail of Santa Claus scenes.

Fail of evangelical woman scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

40 Days and 40 Nights, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Robert Perez

Director: Michael Lehmann

Dialogue: Fail

"Do you like p*ssy...cats matt?" Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: A guy wants to get over his ex-girlfriend.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting from Paulo Costanzo.

Josh Hartnett’s acting was too limited in this character.

Comments:

Fail of amateur shaky camera intro.

Good confession scene.

Good kitchen scene.

Decent sex scene.

Fail of office scene.

Ah…the liberal atheist life of screwing women and chucking them out like dirt while the women believe that they're empowered. Well done Hollywood.

Good second confession scene.

Good living room scene.

Decent Laundromat scene.

Good living room scene.

Betting on the solution. Yup, sounds about right.

Ah…women throwing themselves at a decent looking White man in the workplace. A long time ago, that would be fun. But not anymore in the post-Metoo movement era.

Good Laundromat scene.

Good girl talk scene.

Good living room scene.

Fail of boss/employee talk. Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of storage room scene.

Fail of restaurant scene, but interesting ‘80s music.

Fail of parent dinner scene, wasted comedy potential.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of storage scene.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of couple scene.

Fail of girl talk scene.

This movie started off good but fell off a cliff. Fail of writing.

Fail of living room scene.

Fail of bus visualization scene.

Fail of living room scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

A lot of wasted comedy potential in this movie.

Like Mike, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Michael Elliot, Jordan Moffet

Director: John Schultz

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue throughout.

Plot: Nobody wants to adopt a child.

Story: Character, Family

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Lil’ Bow Wow’s acting.

Comments:

Good basketball court intro with music.

Moses was adopted? Oh yah, from the Nile. I forgot. Well said.

Watching The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Is the clearance bill worth it?

All for the shoes and basketball as the only real life for Black orphans? Sadly, that makes sense.

Fail of basketball scene

Fail of office scene. $5000.00 to buy a Black orphan for the day. Well…at least they're offering. Most wouldn't offer a penny and just kill them in an Illuminati blood sacrifice.

Fail of basketball locker scene.

Fail of all stadium scenes. Beyond suspension of disbelief…and the audience agrees looking at the box office revenue.

Fail of solution. Too stupid.

Fail of airplane scene.

Fail of hotel scene.

Decent locker room scene.

Good car scene bonding.

Allegra allergy medicine. Jokes.

Ah…scummy liberal childcare guardians treating orphans like garbage. Sadly, that’s the reality, aside from the pedophilia of course. Don’t believe me? See for yourself.

The dark legacy of sexual liberation in Germany Kentler pedophilia project

Inept child-welfare agencies gave accused pedophile foster dad steady access to kid victims, report finds

Child Welfare Agency Cuts Ties to Professor Over Pedophile Studies

Who's minding the children in Canada? Pedophile adoption orphanage

Elderly Quebec couple sentenced for sexually abusing foster kids

Good outdoor house scene.

Beat the Toronto Raptors? As someone from Toronto, what a joke.

Fail of asswipe guardian and white boy scene.

Fail of betting scene. that's low, even for liberals.

Fail of climax scene.

Hey, the guy from Family Matters (Reginald VelJohnson). Wow. What a blast from the past.

Excellent ending.

Sweet Home Alabama, 2002: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: C. Jay Cox

Director: Andy Tennant

Dialogue: Pass

"Honey, just cause I talk slow, doesn't mean I'm stupid." Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: A woman wants to get a divorce from her first husband.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass.

Fail of Mayor Kate Hennings’ character.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Reese Witherspoon.

Comments:

Good intro.

Decent fashion scenes throughout.

Decent proposal scene. Weird but...you gotta know.

Excellent home scene throughout.

A p*ssyass man who won't sign divorce papers. Take it to court and you’re done with him. Unforutuantely each state has their own rules about divorce. Sigh.

Excellent family scenes throughout.

Excellent bar scene.

The dog is ugly but cute.

Good carnival scene.

Excellent cemetery scene.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Gangs of New York, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jay Cocks, Steven Zaillian, Kenneth Lonergan

Director: Martin Scorsese

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue.

Plot: Various gangs want to rule New York City.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Christians vs. Catholics.

Powerfully stupid beginning battle scene.

Fail of all fighting scenes throughout.

Is this supposed to be a drama?

This looks like an expensive movie set.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing, directing, acting, cinematography.

Old style boxing. Lovely.

44 notches on the cloak. Lovely.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Even star power couldn't have passed this movie. This movie wouldn't have gotten made if DiCaprio wasn't in it.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (Extended), 2002: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Stephen Sinclair

Director: Peter Jackson

Dialogue: Pass

"If this is to be our end, then I would have them make such an end as to be worthy of remembrance. Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: A dark lord wants a ring to rule the world.

Story: Ethics, Character

Characters: Pass

Excellent tree characters.

Excellent Gollum character.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Billy Boyd.

Excellent acting by John Rhys-Davies.

Comments:

Beautiful aerial scenery intro shot.

Decent chase scene.

Good army building scene.

Good king scene.

Good Gandolf past battle scene.

Excellent Gandolf and king scene.

Ah…a love story to enrich the battle. Well done.

Good sleep scene.

Excellent open battle with excellent music. Very well done.

Excellent pre-climax scene.

A single arrow. Jokes.

On a side note, I can't help but notice that all the good guys are White and all the bad guys are non-White. Sigh.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent music content.

Decent ending.

Passed with 4 writers. Impressive.

One of the best movies of all time.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, 2002: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Steve Kloves

Director: Chris Columbus

Dialogue: pass

Plot: Someone wants to open a secret chamber.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Alan Rickman as usual.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Excellent farm scene.

Decent book scene.

Fail of flying car scene.

Fail of Snape talk scene.

Fail of plant class scene.

Excellent talking letter. Very well done.

Fail of pompous guy class.

Throwing up snails. Well done.

Ah…the token Black kid. I was beginning to worry. Thank you Hollywood.

Fail of class scene.

And now we're onto the stupid sports game. Sigh.

Fail of hospital scene.

Decent bathroom scene.

Good snake scene.

Decent Dumbledore scene.

Fail of Draco Malfoy infiltration scene.

Good book special effects.

Excellent past scenes.

Decent Hagrid scene.

Good forest scene.

Fail of hall scene.

Fail of professor scene.

Excellent climax scene, aside from the crappy snake fight scene.

Treating an elf as a slave. That's not cool. I doubt that would play well in 2021.

Fail of ending.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, 2002: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: George Lucas, Jonathan Hales

Director: George Lucas

Dialogue: Pass

"I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life." Good line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A former Jedi master wants to kill a senator.

Story: Relationships, Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Fail of Jedi talk about Count Dooku. Nonsense.

Odd that the Jedi order relies on prophecy.

Decent chancellor scene.

Good elevator scene.

Decent home scene.

Good night scene.

Diving out of a high rise window. Well done sir. You've earned your wings.

Excellent car chase scene.

Good council scene.

Good Anakin and Padmé scenes throughout.

A robot stealing bread. Jokes.

Good young in-training scene.

Excellent outdoor water fight scene.

Fail of Anakin mother scene.

Good mass congress scene.

Excellent factory fight scene.

Excellent special effects throughout.

Good music content.

Good climax Jedi fight scenes.

Good ending.

The Transporter, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen

Director: Corey Yuen, Louis Leterrier

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Thieves want to rob a bank.

Story: Ethics, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Matt Schulze’s acting. Oh dear god. Definitely not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of heist/chase intro.

Excellent cinematography throughout but not enough to pass.

A private transporter for criminals. Seriously?

The woman (Shu Qi) is too beautiful for this movie. It takes away from everything else.

Fail of fighting scene cinematography. Not as good as Transporter 2 in 2005.

What professional doesn't look in the back seat?

Fail of house attack scene.

Fail of explanation of house attack scene.

Real plot at 58 minutes. Sigh.

Excellent police exit scene.

Cyril Raffaelli from 2001’s Kiss of the Dragon. Was that your kick between the buses? Son of a b*tch. Nice to see you again.

Fight in bus station music remind me of music from 1987’s American Ninja 2: The Confrontation.

Decent climax scene, but fighting isn’t enough to pass a movie.

A tire wrench to the face. Too cruel.

Good happy ending, but not enough to pass.

Impressive and sad they continued this movie series when the first one made less than $45 million.

Deuces Wild, 2002: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Paul Kimatian, Christopher Gambale

Director: Scott Kalvert

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A gang boss and drug dealer want to sell drugs.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Good Marco character.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of all fight scene shots. Fail of slow motion shots.

Could have been a decent movie with better cinematography.

Fail of flashback scene.

Fail of almost all scenes. Complete fail of writing.

Gang turf wars in the good ol’ days. Really?

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

XXX, 2002: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Rich Wilkes

Director: Rob Cohen

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Terrorists want to create a bioweapon.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Recruiting civilian scum to catch scum. Seriously? Even black-ops aren't this bad.

Complete fail of mock up diner scene.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing. Oh dear god.

Fail of James Bond rip off scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

This movie is meant for the lowest common denominator.

The Sum of All Fears, 2002: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Paul Attanasio, Daniel Pyne

Director: Phil Alden Robinson

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Neo-Nazis want to start a war between Russia and US.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Liev Schreiber.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good president process scene.

Good CIA office scenes throughout.

Good briefing scene.

Excellent Russian president meeting scene.

Good inspection scene.

Good president dinner scene.

Music a bit overdramatic throughout, but I’ll allow it.

Excellent Russian infiltration scenes throughout.

Good crazy Neo-Nazi scenes throughout.

Good stadium scene.

Good explosion scene.

Good military prep scenes throughout.

Good ship scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Clockstoppers, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Rob Hedden, J. David Stem, David N. Weiss

Director: Jonathan Frakes

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A tech company wants to create a futuristic time device.

Story: Character, Family

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Fail of French Stewart’s acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of class scene.

Fail of store rock climbing scene.

Fail of home scenes throughout.

Fail of board scene.

Fail of all facility scenes. Powerfully stupid.

Fail of outside school scene.

Fail of all scenes. Complete fail of writing.

Fail of all magic watch scenes.

Fail of club scene.

Fail of home scene.

Fail of van scene.

Fail of hospital scene.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of girl home scene.

So…raking leaves can win a woman's heart? Willing to put money on that claim?

Fail of hotel scene.

Too stupid and unbelievable.

Fail of garbage scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Note to Hollywood. Please stop making these sh*tty movies. They should be direct to video/streaming. Oh dear, what I would do to Hollywood executives if there was a "Purge Day." Joking...not really.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Collateral Damage, 2002: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: David Griffiths, Ronald Roose

Director: Andrew Davis

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue throughout.

Plot: Terrorists want to kill intelligence officials.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of music content.

Good family scene.

Fail of after explosion scene. Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't make a good distressed victim.

Weak dialogue throughout.

Fail of investigation scene.

Fail of media interview.

Decent office attack scene.

Fail of court hearing scene.

Fail of phone scene.

Fail of amateur footage war scenes.

Fail of planning scene.

Fail of all Columbian scenes.

Hey, the guy from Transformers (John Turturro). Nice to see you again. You keep popping up in a lot of
movies. Kudos. Solid C-lister.

Fail of jail scenes throughout.

Terrible writing and directing.

Decent freestyle scene.

Fail of all scenes. As if the writer is making it up as they go.

Fail of torture and attack scenes throughout.

Complete fail of dialogue and writing. Oh dear god.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

Should have ended with boy building the same airplane toy.

Stealing Harvard, 2002: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Martin Hynes, Peter Tolan

Director: Bruce McCulloch

Dialogue: Pass

"He's having an affair isn't he?" "Now sweetheart, let's not rush to judgment. But yes, your piece of sh*t boyfriend is having an affair." Excellent line and delivery.

Plot: A woman wants to go to Harvard.

Story: Family, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Megan Mullally.

Comments:

Good narrated fate intro.

Saving before you get married. That's the smart thing to do.

Crying while making love. Jokes.

Good narration throughout. It plays well.

Good father in-law/son scenes.

Free spirit trailer trash. Jokes.

Two cats MIA. Jokes.

The heterosexual family unit. That will be extinct in a few decades if crazy liberals get their way.

Good quirky house scenes throughout.

Decent family borrowing scenes.

And now we enter the stupid comedy with Tom Green. Sigh. I'll let it slide because the writing is solid.

Decent initial solution to plot.

Cross-dressing and spooning. Well done.

An ecstasy ring. Jokes.

Excellent second spooning scene.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

While the audience may not have liked this movie, it was written by a real comedy writer. Very well done. Solid writing and good acting overall. Should have made more money.

The Time Machine, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: John Logan

Director: Simon Wells

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue. Complete garbage. Oh dear god.

Plot: A thief wants to kill a woman.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of street scene.

Fail of solution. Too stupid.

Fail of almost all time machine scenes. Fail of writing.

Everything is beyond suspension of disbelief.

At least the AI is a Black man. Kudos.

Fail of Uber-Morlock character.

Complete fail of writing, directing, music, dialogue.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $100 million proves that God does NOT exist.

We Were Soldiers, 2002: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Randall Wallace

Director: Randall Wallace

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: US soldiers want to defeat the Viet Cong.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro. Intro war scene nothing more than propaganda.

Fail of military talking scene.

Fail of airstrip scene.

Fail of briefing scene.

Fail of training scenes throughout.

Fail of women talk scene. Justifying their husbands actions. Yes, killing Vietnamese farmers and civilians who became guerilla soldiers is so honorable. Cursed American imperialism.

Fail of house scenes throughout.

Fail of speech scene.

Fail of almost all scenes. Weak writing throughout. Fail of writing.

Fail of telegram scenes throughout.

Fail of war scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

The movie tries to dress up war with American values before killing the evil enemy. Oh please.

Windtalkers, 2002: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Joe Batteer, John Rice

Director: John Woo

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue.

Plot: Japanese military wants to break US encryption code.

Story: Ambition, Character, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting.

Fail of Adam Beach’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Another war period piece. Christ.

Fail of bus scene.

Fail of all war scenes. Just garbage.

Fail of music content.

Fail of hospital/healing scene.

Slow and boring pace.

Fail of almost all scenes. Complete garbage. Fail of writing.

Fail of pre-op interview scene.

I was expecting to see a racist scene in the food line. Odd that there wasn’t. Maybe racism in the US military didn't exist. What propaganda that would be.

Fail of card game scene.

Ah yes…the dirty yellow Japs. Of course. Gotta love the period racism that pops up every now and then.

Fail of Joe losing his cool scenes throughout.

Good night campfire scene.

Ah…there's the racism. Well done.

Of course the Japanese would be cruel to you. You're invading them. The same is true in Iraq and Aghanistan.

Fail of Native ceremony scene. I don’t' really think that helped the Aboriginal/Native American genocide. And it certainly doesn't help the killing of Aboriginal women in Canada.

Indigenous Aboriginal women sexual assault foster care

Canada is asking families of murdered, missing Indigenous women to wait for action plan

Deaths of indigenous women 'a Canadian genocide', leaked report says

Fail of boss/Joe scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Half Past Dead, 2002: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Don Michael Paul

Director: Don Michael Paul

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Terrorists want to find gold.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Powerfully stupid movie. Made up as it goes.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of gun fighting scenes.

Fail of slow motions scenes.

Movie made up as it goes.

Complete fail of writing and directing.

Fail of execution scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Continued in Part 2