Hollywood Movie Review Series:

*Movies are in no particular order. Please use Crtl F on your keyboard to find a particular movie. Movies that got a wide release in the year after their first screening are listed in the next year. For example, 300 (2006) is listed in 2007 because it only got a wide release in 2007.

*Don't worry about spoilers. You can read the review of any movie without being afraid of spoilers and enjoy the movie if you watch it. I intentionally made sure not to ruin a movie by revealing a hidden plot or hidden climax scene. I simply pass or fail each scene and comment on them.

The Five Year Engagement, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jason Segel, Nicholas Stoller

Director: Nicholas Stoller

Dialogue: Fail

"I got news for you moron. Your father and I, we're not even 90% right for each other. Not even 60 okay, but he's the love of my life." Good line and delivery.

Plot: A couple wants to get married.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Past lovers. Jokes.

Mom invites ex-boyfriend. Jokes.

Decent cooking scenes throughout.

Singing to the bride. Jokes.

Fail of almost all professor scenes.

Jumps on a fire hydrant. Jokes.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Boring and too unbelievable. What woman is dumb enough to stick around for that long? Even crazy liberal women aren't that dumb.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Too unbelievable.

The Guilt Trip, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Dan Fogelman

Director: Anne Fletcher

Dialogue: Pass.

Plot: A mother wants a better life for her adult son.

Story: Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of home scenes throughout.

This is just sad, and not in a good way.

What did the writer, director and studio executives expect from this movie?

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Hey, the guy from Coach Carter (Rick Gonzalez). Nice to see you again.

Fail of car talk scenes throughout.

Powerfully boring movie.

Cutting meat for her to eat for the competition. Really?

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

There was practically no development of either character.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

One of the worst movies of all time. The fact that this movie was an Epic Commercial Failure proves that God does exist.

The Watch, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Jared Stern, Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg

Director: Akiva Schaffer

Dialogue: Pass.

"Hey, do you mind if I suck on your balls?" "I'm going to see how this plays out." Good line, excellent delivery by both actors/actresses.

Plot: Someone/something wants to kill people.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro. Shame that everything goes downhill from there.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of football scene.

Fail of home scene.

Fail of neighborhood watch scenes throughout. Powerfully stupid.

Only Hollywood is dumb enough to package a family and relationship movie into this plot.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Wanderlust, 2012: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: David Wain, Ken Marino

Director: David Wain

Dialogue: Pass.

Plot: A couple wants a better life.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good apartment scene.

Fail of board scene.

Ah…the scam companies. Scamming all the way till the police show up. Well done.

Good solution.

Ah…the hippie commune, just f*cking and doing whatever you want. Yah…that doesn’t work in 2021.

Crazy rich housewives and their alcohol to dull the pain of their meaningless life. Yup, sounds about right.

Excellent bathroom scene.

Good forest truth scene.

Fail of deed scene.

And a new plot appears. Oh dear.

Good fly table scene.

"I didn't f*ck the deed." Jokes.

Excellent baby delivery scene. That's a fully empowered woman. That's the kind of woman I want as my future wife.

Ah…the placenta people. Yes, that's a real thing.

Couple chose to have lotus birth - meaning they have kept newborn's placenta attached

Just don't eat the placenta.

Hey, moms: eating your placenta could sicken or kill your baby

Good blow up scene.

Decent rich couple scene.

Good diner scene.

Good climax scene.

Brazilian dance martial arts (Capoeira). Wow, this is the second time seeing it in a major movie. The first major show in a movie was the 1993 movie Only the Strong with Mark Dacascos.

Good ending.

Should have made more money, at least to Potential Profit.

Lincoln, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Tony Kushner

Director: Steven Spielberg

Dialogue: Pass.

Plot: A US president wants to abolish slavery.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Fail of Daniel Day-Lewis’ acting.

Fail of Tommy Lee Jones’ acting.

Comments:

Good intro.

So much dialogue. Christ.

How many period pieces must the public endure? F*ck sakes.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of congressional talks throughout.

Fail of home scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

The Campaign (Extended), 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Chris Henchy, Shawn Harwell

Director: Jay Roach

Dialogue: Pass.

"My hair could lift a car off a baby if it had to." "Absolutely." Good line, excellent delivery by both actors.

Plot: A Chinese corporation wants to buy an election.

Story: Character, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Another stupid funny movie. Oh dear god.

Fail of answering machine.

Fail of almost all campaign scenes throughout.

Good boat talk scene.

I wouldn't be surprised if Hollywood does a similar comedy film where Russians buy an election. Jokes, this was reviewed before the 2016 election.

Fail of sweatshop labor scene.

Dick dragging around a body. Jokes.

Other dogs watching from the window. Jokes.

Good baby punch scene.

Fail of house invasion scene.

Fail of all scenes.

Dan Aykroyd. Nice to see you again.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

The Odd Life of Timothy Green, 2012: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Peter Hedges

Director: Peter Hedges

Dialogue: Pass.

Plot: A couple want to have a child.

Story: Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Basically, God and/or evolution doesn't want you to procreate or be together. You should be able to get the message.

Excellent home scenes throughout.

The difference when you have your own kids and when you adopt is that you don't have to report to some asswipe about your parenting. Hence the reason why most couples who struggle choose IVF instead of adoption.

Good pool scene.

Good hospital scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Good family movie. Should have made more money.

Think like a Man, 2012: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Keith Marryman, David A. Newman

Director: Tim Story

Dialogue: Pass

"I want to buy you a house." "That's my man, step up there." "I want to buy you this house." "Back up b*tch, you ain't buying my house." Excellent line and delivery.

Plot: A comedian wants to give relationship advice.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Interesting animation intro.

Excellent various profile scene.

Excellent bar scenes throughout.

Black women dating. I feel for you.

Good basketball scenes throughout.

Didn't open the car door. Well done. but shouldn't have come back.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

A majority Black cast that made 8 times its budget. Well done.

What to Expect When You're Expecting, 2012: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Shauna Cross, Heather Hach

Director: Kirk Jones

Dialogue: Pass

"You gotta watch it Davis, that one looks like a wife. She got wife eyes. Girlfriend tits, but definitely wife eyes. Excellent line, good delivery.

Plot: Various women want a better life.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of dance show.

Ah…liberal women who can't get pregnant naturally. Sad, but a true reality. In some cultures, that would be seen as God or evolution telling you that you're with the wrong person.

Good baby photo scene.

Good cheese truck scene.

Umm…"if you don't stop me I'm going to kiss you." Prior to the MeToo movement, that would have been acceptable. But after the MeToo movement, saying nothing is no longer a form of acceptable consent. Goddamn these crazy liberals.

Good couple talk scene.

Excellent Notorious BIG song/daddy stroller scene. Very well done.

Good hospital scene.

Excellent park scenes throughout.

Wrong baby from daycare.

Fat people in a swimming pool. Jokes.

Good young couple scenes throughout.

Put on weight with your wife. Jokes.

Good golf cart scene.

Rip this baby out yourself. Jokes.

Excellent hospital pregnancy scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

The Master, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Paul Thomas Anderson

Director: Paul Thomas Anderson

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A WWII veteran wants a better life.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent presentation/talk scene.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of talk scene.

Good mall scene.

Decent mall angry scene.

Decent initial ship/talk scene.

Boring wedding scene.

Boring psychotherapy/dialectic scenes throughout.

Decent argument scene. Pig f*ck. Jokes.

Weird tone to movie.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing and directing.

Weird naked dance scene.

Fail of jail scene.

Fail of all scenes. How did this movie get a wide release?

Recall vs. imagine. That’s a big difference.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending. Could have been done better.

Flight, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: John Gatins

Director: Robert Zemeckis

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A regulator want to investigate a pilot.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Don Cheadle.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

It moves from a drama to comedy music back to drama. Really?

Fail of almost every scene. Fail of writing.

Aside from initial plane landing, it's flat and boring.

Fail of characters due to weak writing. Characters are too unbelievable.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of prison ending.

Red Dawn, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Carl Ellsworth, Jeremy Passmore

Director: Dan Bradley

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue.

Plot: North Korea govt wants to invade the US.

Story: Ethics, Survival

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of almost all scenes. Complete fail of writing. Oh dear god.

Fail of all invasion scenes. Completely beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of solution. Completely beyond suspension of disbelief.

A makeshift military in a few days. Really? Even in The Last Samurai it took more time to train.

None of this makes any sense. Complete fail of writing and directing.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Resistance signs on the walls. What is this, The Mask of Zorro?

My apologies to Christians but some higher power has to take responsibility for allowing the release of this garbage movie.

Brainwashing in the camps. At least make it look believable.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

The studio couldn’t do China as the enemy since China practically owns Hollywood.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie should have only made $1.00. The fact that it made $50 million proves that God does NOT exist.

People Like Us, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, Jody Lambert

Director: Alex Kurtzman

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to get over his father's death.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent child acting by Michael Hall D'Addario.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of airport scene.

Fail of kitchen scene.

Fail of awkward son scenes throughout.

His dad didn't spend time with him. Boo hoo to your White privileged life. Sorry, too harsh right off the bat. Must be in a bad mood.

Fail of diner scene.

Good principal scene.

Good apartment scene. Start beating your kids woman.

Fail of church scene.

Okay, I’m just going to say it. Olivia Wilde’s eyes are so big that they scare me. Sorry, don’t mean to hate, just had to say it.
Fail of freak out scene. Woman, handle your man.

Fail of transformation of character.

Fail of record store scene.

Good kid scenes throughout, but enough to pass.

Drawing it all out instead of being honest. Oh dear.

Fail of audio therapy scene.

Fail of bench scene.

Fail of eating/talk/laundry scene.

Fail of spending time scenes. Understandable what will happen.

Fail of denial scenes.

Characters keep going in circles. Understandable for plot, but doesn't work.

Fail of freak out scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Promised Land, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: John Krasinski, Matt Damon

Director: Gus Van Sant

Dialogue: Fail

Flat Dialogue.

Plot: A salesman wants to sell fracking to a town.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

It's a good movie, but flat and boring.

One person with the evidence and one retired teacher to save the town. Really?

Good climax twist scenes, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

This should be redone by a better writer.

A Thousand Words, 2012: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Steve Koren

Director: Brian Robbins

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A magical tree wants to kill a literary agent.

Story: Character, Relationships, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Literary agents for book publishing? A dead industry in a decade or so. Another useless gatekeeper. Would you like to see the racism in publishing?

Black authors are on all the bestseller lists right now. But publishing doesn't pay them enough

Racist White publishers and Black authors

Over 1,000 Publishing Workers Strike to Protest Industry Racism

Normally I wouldn't say that "a tree wants," but the intentionality of plants is debatable.

Corny dialogue and scenes but one of the few passable movies for Eddie Murphy. Well done.

Excellent climax scene.

Good ending.

This movie shouldn't have cost $40 million to make.

This movie should have made it to Potential Profit.

Mud, 2012: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Jeff Nichols

Director: Jeff Nichols

Dialogue: Pass

"You can call me a hobo ‘cuz a hobo’ll work for his living and you can call me homeless ‘cause that’s true for now, but if you call me a bum again I'll have to teach you somethin' about respect that your daddy never did." Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: State police want to capture a fugitive.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good nature shots throughout.

Excellent dialogue throughout. Weird, but excellent.

Excellent Matthew McConaughey scenes throughout. His acting really pushes this movie to succeed. But it’s still excellent writing.

Excellent island scenes throughout.

Decent motel girl scene.

Good island anger scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Quartet, 2012: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Ronald Harwood

Director: Dustin Hoffman

Dialogue: Pass

Excellent dialogue throughout

"You moved your ball." "That's unthinkable. How dare you." Decent line, excellent delivery.

Plot: Seniors want to pull out of a musician gala.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting all around.

Excellent acting by Billy Connolly.

Excellent acting by Maggie Smith as usual.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Excellent meeting scene.

Excellent lunch room scene.

Decent escalator scene.

Clapping when she arrives. Oh dear.

Telling old people not to smoke. Go f*ck yourself. They made it. They earned their smoke. And that’s coming from a non-smoker.

History of rap music. Jokes.

Excellent samba scene.

I would have liked to have seen flashbacks of them in their prime.

Excellent greenhouse scene.

Decent old couple/former partner scenes throughout.

Excellent doctor/old man scene.

Fail of dinner scene.

Fail of lunch scene.

Good hospital scene.

Good pre-show scenes.

Decent climax scene.

Decent ending.

Moonrise Kingdom, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Wes Anderson, Roman Coppola

Director: Wes Anderson

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue throughout.

Plot: A scout wants to run away from his scout unit.

Story: Family, Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Good acting by Bill Murray as usual.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of most scenes.

Powerfully stupid movie. Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Nice art movie, but it should have been direct to video/streaming. It only got a wide release because of A-listers.

Was the writer high when he wrote this?

Fail of music content.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Complete failure of all scenes, acting, characters, writing. There’s a reason why arthouse movies are direct to video/streaming.

The Cold Light of Day, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Scott Wiper, John Petro

Director: Mabrouk El Mechri

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue.

Plot: Someone wants to kidnap a family.

Story: Family, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Decent intro.

Slow start, but interesting.

And then it’s not interesting. Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Characters don't work. No amount of acting will help.

Fail of end parking garage scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Fail of writing and acting.

This movie only got a wide release because of A-list stars.

The Cabin in the Woods, 2012: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Joss Whedon, Drew Goddard

Director: Drew Goddard

Dialogue: Pass

"...think of all the pain and...tequila is my lady." Good line, excellent delivery. Wow.

Plot: A company wants to kill people.

Story: Survival

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Bradley Whitford.

Comments:

Good intro.

A bong transformed into a coffee flask. Wow.

Not enough gas to get back. What?

Betting on the participants. Too cruel. Well done.

Holy f*ck, this gives new meaning to occultism. Well done for the unusual approach for an Illuminati movie. More direct.

Excellent stabbing from the girl.

Weird kids in Japan scene.

Should have made more money.

This is a f*cked up movie, but in a good way.

Fail of climax scene, but still good enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

A good Illuminati horror movie.

To Rome with Love, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Woody Allen

Director: Woody Allen

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible cheesy dialogue.

"You choose projects that are doomed to fail. You get some kind of a payoff out of failing." Good line and delivery.

"Well the car is different. You can f*ck me in the car. I'm fine with that." Excellent line and delivery.

Plot: Various people want a better life.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting overall.

Good acting by Ellen Page.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of street scenes throughout.

Fail of narration.

Fail of plane scene.

Fail of office scene.

IQ in Euros vs. dollars. Well done.

Fail of most Woody Allen scenes.

Decent embarrassing room scene.

Fail of house talk scene.

Decent shower scene.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of music content.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Perversion of the dialectic. Oh dear. Fail of all Alec Baldwin scenes.

Sorry, but I couldn't appreciate the art.

Spineless jellyfish. Jokes.

Fail of night rain scene.

Excellent music shower stage scene. Very well done.

Sensitive to the agonies of existence. Oh dear.

Fail of bedroom scene.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

Enough of these arthouse movies getting a wide release because of A-listers. Christ.

The Raven, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Ben Livingston, Hannah Shakespeare

Director: James McTeigue

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Someone wants to kill women.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of John Cusack’s acting.

Fail of Kevin McNally’s acting.

Fail of Luke Evans’ acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of all characters.

The murderer could give Jigsaw a run for his money.

Difficult movie to make. But I don't see any other way it could have been written. I feel the writer was boxed in with his frame/setup of plot, and had to commit.

A murderer making a writer famous. A writer making a murderer famous. Sigh.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Decent ending.

The Words, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Brian Klugman, Lee Sternthal

Director: Brian Klugman, Lee Sternthal

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A writer wants a better life.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Christ, Olivia Wilde is super beautiful. Difficult to focus on anything else.

I wonder how many takes it took to get that intro exactly right.

Ah…the plight of my fellow writers in love.

Ah…the rejection letters. I wouldn’t know because mine are self-published. But I feel for you.

This movie could have been done just with the characters.

Stories within stories. Sigh.

Excellent cinematography, but the plot is weak.

Fail of climax scene.

Like songwriters, most writers write some of their best work in great emotional pain.

Fail of ending.

One For the Money, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Liz Brixius, Stacy Sherman, Karen Ray, Karen McCullah Lutz

Director: Julie Anne Robinson

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue. Oh dear god.

Plot: A company wants to lay off an employee.

Story: Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters except Morelli.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Daniel Sunjata’s acting.

Fail of Katherine Heigl’s acting. Disappointed.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Laid off but kept the luxury car. Really?

No taser for the first time. Really?

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing, dialogue.

Complete fail of writing. Oh dear god.

Tries to strangle her in broad daylight. Really?

Sad attempt at comedy.

Fail of almost every scene.

Fail of music content.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

End of Watch, 2012: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: David Ayer

Director: David Ayer

Dialogue: Pass

Excellent dialogue throughout.

"Dude I'm not gay, but I'd go down on him if he asked." Excellent line and delivery.

Plot: Rival gangs want to kill each other.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by everyone.

Excellent acting by Jake Gyllenhaal. Wow. Very well done.

Comments:

Excellent voice over car chase intro.

Good cinematography throughout.

Excellent writing. Wow.

Excellent directing and acting.

Excellent internal politics and stress of policing in LA.

Excellent truck stop gun scene.

Fail of music in end climax gun scene. I wasn't expecting Boondock Saints music, but something else.

Good ending.

Could have done it with a different ending scene, but still good.

Not one of the best movies of all time, but I strongly recommend watching it.

Hope Springs, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Vanessa Taylor

Director: David Frankel

Dialogue: Fail

Flat and boring dialogue.

Plot: A woman wants a better relationship with her husband.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass.

Comments:

Good intro.

A married couple sleeping in different bedrooms. If my future loving wife gives me 6 kids and stays with me until they're all 18, she can have her own bedroom and personal bathroom.

A bit slow and flat. Odd since the music is more uplifting.

A bookstore. Hilarious. Those won’t exist in the future.

Decent home scenes, but flat and lacking.

15 minutes in, is this supposed to be a comedy?

Mrs. Streep, please don't look directly into the camera. But that’s a failure of directing.

Steve Carell as a marriage counselor. Okay, I’m open to it.

Fail of marriage counseling scenes.

Watching Mad About You. There's a clearance bill for that too.

Weak characters.

A movie about old couples and their loveless marriage. Sigh.

Telling your sexual life to a marriage counselor. I hope I never get to this shameful moment in my future loving marriage.

Fail of movie theatre scene.

Could have been funnier if the purpose was comedy, but clearly, it's not.

Fail of writing and directing.

Paying cash for a sex book. Well done. That’s how you do it.

Fail of climax scene.

Excellent ending, but not enough to pass.

Oh...the dogs are so cute and loving.

Good end credits scenes.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid Dog Days, 2012: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Wallace Wolodarsky, Maya Forbes

Director: David Bowers

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A boy wants to keep playing video games.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Rachael Harris.

Steve Zahn feels like overacting.

Excellent acting by Karan Brar. That kid's got great potential.

Comments:

Public beach bathrooms? Eww.

Excellent intro.

From the intro I have an idea of how this movie will end. We'll see if I’m correct.

Steps on a toy right in front of girls. Well done.

Today's generation loves video games from childhood to adulthood. And you wonder why I have little faith in the next generation.

Decent classroom scene.

Decent outside scene.

Fail of fast forward scene.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of kitchen scene.

Fail of phone scenes.

Fail of war reenactment scenes.

Fail of golf scenes.

The writing is getting flat by the second. Add some comedy or something. I'm dying here.

Good tennis court scene. Saved.

Excellent swim rescue scene. Very well done. What a comeback for the writer.

Good ice cream cone scene.

Fail of amusement park scenes.

Fail of day house scene.

Good swim scene.

Decent dog house scene.

I'm aware that White people are oblivious to this, but it's been over 1 hour into the movie and I haven't seen a visible minority other than the Indian boy 40 minutes ago. Oh, I saw two more at 1:09:40.

Oh…the little Indian boy came back. Well done Hollywood.

Fail of scout scenes.

Good climax scene.

Good ending. Yup, as expected.

A lot of sh*tty scenes, but enough to pass.

The Grey, 2012: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Joe Carnahan, Ian MacKenzie Jeffers

Director: Joe Carnahan

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A group of men want to survive.

Story: Purpose, Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of narrated intro.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Killing wolves. That's not cool. But it's understandable.

Fail of plane scene.

Fail of most survival scenes. Boring. They're trying to survive in the cold with wolves. Got it.

Taunting wolves. How stupid.

"Wolves are known for revenge." Umm...what? If they're known for revenge, that's means they can think. If they can think, they have associative memories. If they have memories and are capable of thinking, they're aware of themselves. And if they're aware of themselves, others and their environment around them, they have consciousness.

Moving on…

Fail of all campfire scenes throughout.

Fail of writing and directing. Excellent cinematography though.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Alex Cross, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Marc Moss, Kerry Williamson

Director: Rob Cohen

Dialogue: Fail

Stale dialogue.

Fail of villain dialogue throughout. Oh dear god it's terrible.

Plot: A man wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

All the wrong actors for all roles.

Comments:

Good intro with excellent cinematography. Very well done. Shame it went downhill from there.

Fail of jail scene.

Fail of cage match scene.

Fail of house scene.

Oh my god, it's John C. McGinley from Scrubs as chief of police. F*ck me.

Fail of apartment scene.

Fail of car scene.

Fail of crime scene.

Fail of investigation scenes throughout.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Fail of building killing attempt scene.

Fail of writing, acting, dialogue. good special effects though.

Jean Reno. Nice to see you again. Your face is a bit rounder compared to Léon: The Professional (1994).

Fail of all bad guy character scenes throughout.

Was the bad guy supposed to be some sort of Joker character? What a joke (forgive the pun).

Fail of train/city scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $30 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Underworld: Awakening, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Len Wiseman, John Hlavin, J. Michael Straczynski, Allison Burnett

Director: Mans Marlind and Bjorn Stein

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Humans want to eradicate vampires and werewolves.

Story: Survival, Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent recap intro.

Revealed in the 21st century. Interesting. Decent intro. But the vampires should be superior in strength, strategy, tactical skills…but I'll let that go for now.

Excellent balcony fight scene.

Fail of pier fight scene.

Good cryo-fight scene. Reminds me of Resident Evil.

Fail of detective scenes throughout.

Fail of building realization scene. Too easy. Again, could have made it as a plot device.

A lycan attack in the streets. What? Doesn’t make sense.

Fail of van explanation scene.

Fail of coven battle scenes.

Hey, Charles Dance from Game of Thrones. Nice to see you again.

Lycans in control. Really?

Fail of breach building scene.

Fail of building fight scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Just a question. Why does the girl look like a witch from The Ring?

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

2 directors and 4 writers. What the f*ck?

Resident Evil: Retribution, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Paul W.S. Anderson

Director: Paul W.S. Anderson

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue.

Plot: A corporation wants to experiment on a woman.

Story: Survival, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Sienna Guillory’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro. Didn't work this time.

Fail of recap scene.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of fight scene.

Fail of music content.

Fail of writing and directing.

Everything is getting too stupid.

Fail of all facility scenes throughout.

Fail of rescue team scenes throughout.

Complete fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of cigar gun scene.

Fail of submarine ice scene.

Fail of climax fight scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $200 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Prometheus, 2012: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Jon Spaihts, Damon Lindelof

Director: Ridley Scott

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Humans want to find out about their origins.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Michael Fassbender as usual.

Comments:

Fail of intro. Too unbelievable.

Fail of dream scene.

Kudos to paying homage to the old Alien series.

Good Fassbender alone scenes.

Well, that's one way to put intelligent design back on the map.

Good expedition scenes throughout.

Good ship head experiment scene.

Fail of music content throughout.

Good medical scenes throughout.

That's the kind of med pod that everyone on the Earth is waiting for, the one that conspiracy theorists talk about on a regular basis.

Decent ship mayhem scenes.

Fail of climax scene. Doesn't make sense.

Fail of ending.

I'm sure this movie could be re-written by a better writer.

Always nice to see that human aliens are White. Well done Hollywood.

Good Deeds, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Tyler Perry

Director: Tyler Perry

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A woman wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of car scene.

Fail of parking lot scene.

Should be called Diary of a Mad Black Woman.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of diner scene.

Fail of all girlfriend scenes throughout.

Fail angry brother scenes throughout.

Fail of all scenes. Complete fail of writing.

Fail of vacation scene.

Fail of elevator scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Won't Back Down, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Brin Hill, Daniel Barnz

Director: Daniel Barnz

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Two women want a better life for their kids.

Story: Family, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Fail of Maggie Gyllenhaal's acting. Not the right actress for the role.

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of teacher staff room scene.

Fail of mother principal scenes.

Fail of speech scene.

Fail of solution scene.

Wrong tone to movie. Fail of directing.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of argument scene.

Fail of union speech scene.

Good bathroom scene.

Fail of climax scene. Too unbelievable.

Decent ending.

Fail of writing. Weak acting.

$19 million production budget. Wow. Kudos.

Nitro Circus: The Movie: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Gregg Godfrey, Jeremy Rawle, Travis Pastrana

Director: Gregg Godfrey, Jeremy Rawle

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Various men want a better life.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Even though it's not really applicable.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Ah…the stupidly of crazy White people. Lovely.

Of course people would come see them. This world is run on stupidly.

Near suicidal men. Lovely.

Fail of narration throughout.

Complete fail of all scenes.

This is dumber than the Jackass movies.

Good wooden loop woman scene.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Not enough to seal the deal. Jokes.

Fail writing, directing and all stunts.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

I guess these idiots tried to imitate Jackass but failed.

Madea's Witness Protection, 2012: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Tyler Perry

Director: Tyler Perry

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A company wants to shutdown.

Story: Ambition, Family, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of rich house scene.

Good house offer scene.

The man in the boat. Jokes.

Good wall talk scene.

"All you gotta do is whisper." Jokes.

Good father up scene.

Iron the sheets. Jokes.

Fail of law office scenes throughout.

Good church scene.

Good airport scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

One of the few passable Tyler Perry movies.

The Three Stooges, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Mike Cerrone, Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly

Director: Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A church wants to close down an orphanage.

Story: Family, Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Though I don't think any actors could pull it off.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of all nun scenes.

Fail of car scene.

Will Sasso. Always a pleasure to see you.

Victim of circumstance. Jokes.

Fail of solution scene.

Fail of Black guy scene. Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of hospital scenes.

Fail of golf scenes.

Fail of dolphin scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Should have been direct to video/streaming.

Complete fail of writing. To be fair, it's next to impossible to replicate the original 3 Stooges.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

The Collection, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Marcus Dunstan, Patrick Melton

Director: Marcus Dunstan

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A serial killer wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition, Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Good intro.

Good club scene.

Excellent visual effects throughout.

Unbelievable killing scene. It's like the writer didn't bother to put any effort to abduct them.

Fail of hospital scene.

Fail of hunting scenes throughout.

Who do you think you are, Liam Neeson in Taken? Get the f*ck outta here.

Marked the changes in direction on the arm. Oh please.

Fail of girl scenes throughout.

Fail of shooting scene.

Fail of survival scenes throughout.

Everything is too unbelievable. Beyond suspension of disbelief. Complete fail of writing.

Fail of all scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Fail of writing and directing.

Premium Rush, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: David Koepp, John Kamps

Director: David Koepp

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A mail courier wants to make more money.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good visualization scenes throughout.

Ah…the life of mail cyclist couriers.

Fail of threat scene.

I'm sure half these male cyclists have prostate cancer.

Avid cyclists could have higher prostate cancer risk

Long Distance Bicycle Riding Causes Prostate-Specific Antigen to Increase in Men Aged 50 Years and Over

Fail of car cyclist chase scene.

Fail of gambling scene.

Fail of real plot.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing. Fail of all characters.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

House at the End of the Street, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: David Loucka

Director: Mark Tonderai

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A girl wants to kill her family.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good night scene.

Good lunch scene.

Good party scene.

Good night car scene.

Fail of house scene. Too unbelievable. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Must have crossed over, and another soul taken over.

Fail of dinner scene.

Ah…the fixer up girlfriend. Sigh.

Of course you can't trust your horny teenaged kid.

Fail of forest scene.

Fail of hospital scene.

Fail of all scenes after.

Fail of realization scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Doesn't make sense. Fail of writing.

Last Ounce of Courage, 2012: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Darrel Campbell

Director: Darrel Campbell, Kevin McAfee

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue.

Plot: Officials want to remove Christmas from a town.

Story: Family, Purpose, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of characters.

Acting: Fail

Complete fail of all acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of narration throughout.

Fail of cinematography throughout.

Ah…the good Christian thing to do. Fight for your country and kill the godless heathens. Well done sir.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of pharmacy scene.

Fail of all school scenes throughout.

Fail of house scenes throughout.

Fail of principal scene.

Fail of music content.

An American flag on a bike today would trigger all liberals.

It's not Trump's America or Trump's flag. Liberals, take back our most enduring symbol

Staten Island man: 'Liberals' are stealing my American flags

What's next for liberals, right wingers ask — banning the American flag?

Complete fail of writing, directing, acting, cinematography.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Fail of all mayor scenes throughout.

Complete fail of every scene.

Oh dear god this movie is terrible.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $5 million proves that God DOES exist.

Chernobyl Diaries, 2012: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Oren Peli, Carey Van Dyke, Shane Van Dyke

Director: Brad Parker

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A guy wants to propose to his girlfriend.

Story: Survival

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good argument scene.

Good restaurant scene.

Good tour guide scenes throughout.

Good tone to movie.

Good van scenes throughout.

Good survival scenes throughout.

Good night scenes throughout.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid writing, directing, and acting.

Passed with 3 writers. Kudos.

Fun Size, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Max Werner

Director: Josh Schwartz

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A mother wants to keep her daughter close during college.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Ah…the sad life of middle class White people. Cry me a river.

Fail of street talk scene.

Fail of store scene.

Fail of house scenes throughout.

Fail of Halloween scenes throughout.

Fail of convenience store scene.

Fail of music content.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of club scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Fail of writing and acting.

The Man with the Iron Fists, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Robert Fitzgerald Diggs (RZA), Eli Roth

Director: Robert Fitzgerald Diggs (RZA)

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue.

Plot: A clan wants to steal gold.

Story: Ambition, Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Complete fail of all acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of narration throughout.

Only refuge is a prostitute. Oh dear.

Oh dear god, that woman is super beautiful (Zhu Zhu).

Fail of blacksmith scenes throughout.

Fail of whore house scenes throughout.

How did this terrible movie get a wide release?

Fail of all fighting scenes throughout.

Fail of music content throughout.

Rap and bad dialogue and weak martial arts scene. This movie is truly hell.

Fail of forest scene.

Well, at least he ate her out well. That must count for something.

Fail of alley fight scene.

Fail of restaurant fight scene.

The Gemini stance. Oh dear god.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Fail of flashback scenes.

Fail of temple scenes throughout.

"I enjoy seeing you forced in any position." I don't think the MeToo movement would approve.

Fail of madam speech scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $20 million proves that God DOES exist.

Chasing Mavericks, 2012: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Kario Salem

Director: Curtis Hanson, Michael Apted

Dialogue: Pass

Good dialogue throughout.

Plot: A child wants a better life for his mother.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Gerard Butler.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good drive scene.

As if he would live next door.

Good house scenes for both families throughout.

Good surf scenes throughout.

Good mentor scenes throughout.

Good pool scene.

Holding his breath in the tub. Jokes.

Decent pizza fight scene.

Decent class scene.

Decent campfire scene.

Decent bully scenes throughout.

Decent climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Good real life ending scene.

Decent writing. Weak bully plot. But good directing and acting.

Big Miracle, 2012: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Jack Amiel, Michael Begler

Director: Ken Kwapis

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Corporations want to drill in Alaska.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of reporter scene.

Lipstick. A reminder of patriarchy.

Fail of protest scene.

Worried about freezing over. What about everything melting due to climate change?

Good coverage scenes.

Odd that no one has a device to break ice that was publicly available.

Breaking ice isn't rocket scene.

Good oil company house scenes throughout.

Good wife manipulation scene.

Mic cord broke. Jokes.

Fail of military talk scene.

Cash only. Yah right.

Aboriginals who want to kill the whales. Yah, that's bad press.

Fail of Aboriginal talk scene.

A f*cking chainsaw. That's what I'm talking about. Was that so hard? Took a week to figure that out. Christ.

Fail of White House scenes.

Good underwater scene.

Military incapable of moving a barge. Really?

Good de-icer scene.

Fail of restaurant scenes throughout.

Stole their generator. Jokes.

Fail soviet scenes.

Good animation scenes.

Good death scene.

Decent climax scene.

Good ending.

Good real life ending scenes.

Corny movie but passable.

Friends with Kids, 2012: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jennifer Westfeldt

Director: Jennifer Westfeldt

Dialogue: Pass

Good dialogue throughout.

Plot: A man and woman want a better life.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good restaurant scene.

Good apartment scene.

Excellent dinner scene.

Good date/talk scenes throughout.

Good explanation scene.

Kill the romance. Jokes.

Worst idea they've ever heard. Jokes.

"Access to your big d*ck." Jokes.

Decent hospital scene.

Good baby scenes throughout.

Good apartment lunch scene.

Good separate dating scenes throughout.

Nazi basketball player. Jokes.

Excellent log cabin scenes.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

Gone, 2012: PASS

Unknown (most likely Potential Profit)

Writer: Allison Burnett

Director: Heitor Dhalia

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Someone wants to abduct a woman.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good house scene.

Decent diner scene.

Interesting real plot.

Good personal investigative scenes throughout.

Good locksmith scene.

Excellent flashback scenes throughout.

Good police investigation scenes.

Good climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Good writing, directing and acting. Should have made more money. The fact that it didn’t proves that God does NOT exist.

Man on a Ledge, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Pablo Fenjves

Director: Asger Leth

Dialogue: Fail

Weak dialogue throughout.

Plot: A man wants to commit suicide.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Sam Worthington.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good hotel scenes throughout.

Good jail scene.

Good prison yard scene.

Good interview scene.

Good prison talk scene.

Good funeral scene.

Good escape scene.

Excellent train crash scene. Very well done.

Good night scene.

Weak police scenes throughout.

And the plot thickens.

Excellent first distraction scene.

Fail of heist scenes throughout.

Fail of guy and girl scenes throughout.

Fail of business guy scenes throughout.

Fail of money scene.

Fail of window talk scenes.

Fail of street scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

It started strong but fell short.

This could have worked with a writer who had a different vision.

The Lucky One, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Will Fetters

Director: Scott Hicks

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A former solider wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Zac Efron's acting. Wrong actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of military scene.

Fail of club scene.

Idiot pawns that take order blindly. Understandable, but sad.

Good cinematography throughout.

Fail of initial house scenes throughout.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of initial dog boarding scene.

Good dog scenes throughout.

Fail of cop scene.

Weak scenes throughout.

Cut and paste romance. Sigh.

Decent dinner scene.

Fail of cop scenes throughout.

Ah…women and their dumb choices in choosing the father of their kids. Sigh.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Sorry, but nothing worked. Fail of writing.

The Vow, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Abby Kohn, Marc Silverstein, Jason Katims

Director: Michael Sucsy

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to deal with his wife's condition.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Fail of line up scene.

Boring dating scenes throughout.

Memories and the soul. Yah yah.

Cut and paste movie. Sorry, getting burned out. I've watched and reviewed over 2000 movies so far.

Never met the parents. How stupid.

Weak plot mechanisms throughout.

Fail of dinner scene.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Chocolate truffles. Nice.

Fail of friend scenes throughout.

Fail of grocery store scene.

Women who justify cheating. Yup, sounds about right.

Women who love powerful and rich men. Yup, sounds about right.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Fail of writing. Characters too unbelievable.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Trouble with the Curve, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Randy Brown

Director: Robert Lorenz

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A manager wants to fire an old scout.

Story: Ambition, Family, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of board scene.

Best scouts. Sigh. I just see White people deciding everyone's future.

Boring scenes throughout.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of grave scenes.

Fail of home scenes throughout.

A juicer. You must be joking. Use a blender to get all the nutrients (Magic Bullet or Ninja or whatever).

Boring scout scenes throughout. Fail of writing.

Boring baseball game scenes throughout.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of bus scene.

Board selection when daddy needs help. Really?

Cut and paste writing.

Fail of diner scene.

Fail of lake scene.

Excellent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

$60 million production. Wow. Warner Bros. Pictures has money to burn.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower, 2012: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Stephen Chbosky

Director: Stephen Chbosky

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A student wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Ezra Miller.

Fail of Logan Lerman's acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of school scenes throughout.

No friends. Don't worry, your imagination is your best friend.

Boring house scenes.

Women who accept domestic abuse. Yup, sounds about right.

Fail of dance scene.

Fail of writing and directing.

Fail of narration throughout.

Buddhist and punk. Jokes.

Fail of drug scene.

Fail of make out scenes.

Good cafeteria scene.

"Why do we pick people who treat us like crap?" Because you’re broken and cracked in the head. It’s not rocket science.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

American Reunion, 2012: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg

Director: Jon Hurwitz

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A group of guys want to reunite.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Yes, R. Kelly always does the trick indeed. At least he used to until his conviction for sexual exploitation.

R. Kelly convicted of racketeering and sex trafficking by a federal jury in New York

Good Stifler scenes throughout. But I don't think that the MeToo movement would approve.

Good babysitter scene.

Good room scene.

Good bar scene.

Good beach scene.

Excellent shit scene.

Ah…slutty high school girls. Feminism at its best.

Good night beach scene.

Good truck scene.

Excellent window scene.

Good living room scene.

Good party scene.

Shut the lights off. Jokes.

Excellent role playing costumes.

Good lawn scene.

Decent board scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid writing and directing.

For Greater Glory: The True Story of Cristiada, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Michael James Love

Director: Dean Wright

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Mexican govt wants to discriminate against Catholics.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters

Acting: Fail

Fail of Andy Garcia’s acting. Wrong actor for the role.

Good acting by Ruben Blades. Well done.

Comments:

Fail of intro. Sounds like a bad conspiracy theory. And that’s coming from a conspiracy theorist.

Discriminating against the Vatican. What nonsense.

Priests as protectors of the realm of ethics. Oh dear god.

Like most true stories, it makes for terrible movies.

Fail of music content.

Oh my god, is that Andy Garcia? F*ck me.

The studio executives threw in big names to get it made. Understandable, but...everything seems so...fake. More than usual. Please shoot at 24 FPS with an adequate depth of field. It’s not rocket science.

Fail of all govt scenes.

Fail of all rebellion scenes.

Fail of all child scenes.

Fail of writing and directing.

Fail of train scene.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Fail of all action scenes throughout.

Bruce Greenwood. F*ck me. Always a pleasure.

Ah…the sanctity of mass in the wild. Lovely.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.