Hollywood Movie Review Series:

*Movies are in no particular order. Please use Crtl F on your keyboard to find a particular movie. Movies that got a wide release in the year after their first screening are listed in the next year. For example, 300 (2006) is listed in 2007 because it only got a wide release in 2007.

*Don't worry about spoilers. You can read the review of any movie without being afraid of spoilers and enjoy the movie if you watch it. I intentionally made sure not to ruin a movie by revealing a hidden plot or hidden climax scene. I simply pass or fail each scene and comment on them.

The Big Sick, 2017: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Emily V. Gordon, Kumail Nanjiani

Director: Michael Showalter

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Ah…the life of the standup comedian. It's tough. Nice to see.

Fail of bar scene.

Decent apartment scene.

Good Indian family scenes throughout.

Good date scenes throughout.

Fail of drama scene.

Grow a beard. Jokes.

Guy, at least ask a woman if she's been married before or has kids.

Good hospital scenes throughout.

Ray Romano. Wow. What a blast from the past.

Good standup comedy scenes throughout.

Decent drive thru blow up scene.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Baby Driver, 2017: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Edgar Wright

Director: Edgar Wright

Dialogue: Fail

Weak dialogue throughout.

Plot: Thieves want to rob banks.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Only driver character makes sense.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Thanks to Jason Statham movies, contracting out for getaways is now a business? Oh dear.

Excellent car chase scenes throughout. I wonder how long it took to film.

Fail of money meeting scene. Too stupid.

Fail of elevator scene.

Good home scenes throughout.

Good flashback scenes throughout.

Fail of all prep scenes throughout. Kevin Spacey setup too stupid.

One girl to take his heart away? Since he's a kid, I'll let it pass.

Good diner scene.

Good Laundromat scene.

How much was the music clearance for this movie? Must have been pretty high.

Using another kid to help scope. That's a good idea.

The plot is garbage, the driver character is passable. But a movie is not an island.

Fail of buyer deal scene and events spiraling down.

Fail of most scenes.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

The Beguiled, 2017: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Sofia Coppola

Director: Sofia Coppola

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to desert his army unit.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Ah…the women conditioned to be helpless. A far cry from the empowered women of Sin City.

And they all fancy him because they have no other men there. Sigh.

Listening to women talk about their conditioned life…oy vey.

Fail of almost all house scenes.

Prison or death? Sometimes it's a more difficult choice than it seems.

A man reflecting on his choices in the 1800s. Lovely.

What a coward for putting others in danger.

Fail of night attack scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Wonder, 2017: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Jack Thorne, Steve Conrad, Stephen Chbosky

Director: Stephen Chbosky

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A boy wants a better life.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good birth flashback scene.

27 surgeries. This movie is going to make a massive amount of money. Usual heart strings movie.

Umm…plastic surgery and facial reconstruction is pretty good in 2017. It's not exactly like in Elysium but it's solid. And I mean facial reconstruction by private healthcare, not sh*tty public ones.

The idea that he would look like that is too unbelievable.

He looks 90% human with 10% cat face. I love cats and most furry creatures.

Good school scenes throughout.

Ah…the cruelty of children. And people wonder why kids are homeschooled.

Good family home scenes throughout.

A Padawan thing. Jokes.

Ah…the superficial idea of pretending that looks don't matter. A cruel joke in our society.

Good perspective from daughter throughout.

The resentment from everyone is natural.

They still do elementary school pictures like that? I had no idea. Same when I was in elementary school.

Ah…the courtyard.

Good cafeteria scene.

Excellent grandmother scene.

Good child blowup scene.

Didn't need the perspective from the other kid.

Good Miranda phone conversation. Well done. Could have extended it with a close up.

Movie is ruined from too many perspectives. Still passable but...

Good play scene.

Kids still do the volcano thing? Jokes.

Good principal scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Passed with 3 writers. Well done.

Thank You for Your Service, 2017: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Jason Hall

Director: Jason Hall

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Military veterans wants a better life.

Story: Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting by main Miles Teller. His acting is getting better. I like it.

Comments:

Good intro.

Soldiers who join the army because they have no purpose in life. Same as climate change cult believers and religious people.

Sorry, but whatever your initial purpose prior to incarnating on the Earth (if you believe in reincarnation), wasn't to kill people in unjust invasions or spout ideological science to defend your beliefs. And yet, that's the way reality turned out. Sad.

Good plane scene.

Soldiers that want to die on the battlefield. Understandable given the brainwashing. Dying for one’s country is valued as the most noble sacrifice one can make. And yet in reality, all soldiers are simply expendable objects fighting the Illuminati’s war.

Good bar scene.

Good bank scene. Expected.

Good tone of movie.

Good drive scene.

Good hunting night scene.

Ah…the life of the expendable solider. After the first gulf war, all soldiers should have known what they're getting into.

Good ol' veteran affairs. What a scandal they are in reality.

Veteran affairs scandal letting veterans die, Obama administration

Veteran affairs scandal Eric Shinseki

Veteran Affairs troubled history, veterans broken toys

Good music content.

Good psychiatrist/therapy scenes throughout.

Good hallucination scenes throughout. Holy f*ck.

Excellent cinematography.

Good dog fight scene.

Good truck scene.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

Solid movie.

Less than $10 million at the box office? The audience was too cruel. This movie should have made at least Potential Profit. The fact that it didn't proves that God does NOT exist.

Sleepless, 2017: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Andrea Berloff

Director: Baran bo Odar

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Corrupt cops want to steal drugs.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Decent precinct scenes throughout.

Fail of partner guy.

Fail of crime scene investigation scenes throughout.

Fail of car scene.

Abduction scene too unbelievable.

And the plot begins to spiral.

He should have expected blowback. Why is it that no one expects blowback in Hollywood movies? Christ.

Decent music content. I think the music composer is learning, but has lots of room for growth. Looking forward to see the music content in their next movie.

Fail of mastermind boss scenes throughout.

Good torture scene.

Fail of casino scenes throughout. Doesn't make sense.

Complete fail of all scenes.

Fail of parking garage scene.

Feels like this movie is made up as it goes. Fail of writing and directing.

Good elevator scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Snatched, 2017: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Katie Dippold

Director: Jonathan Levine

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue.

Plot: A man wants to dump his girlfriend.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of break up scene. At least he had the balls to do it in person. Today's generation of men are p*ssies with text message/email/Facebook break ups.

Fail of social media scene.

Goldie Hawn. Wow. What a blast from the past. Nice to see you.

Fail of house family scenes throughout.

I'm waiting for the comedy.

German Shepherd at the window. Jokes.

Fail of hotel reception scene.

Fail of other women guest scenes throughout.

Women who take pictures of themselves. This used to be shameful in the past. And yet today it's considered a normal activity. Sigh.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of date scene.

Fail of room scene.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of abduction scenes throughout. Understandable but stupid.

Fail of escape/rescue scene.

Fail of son scenes throughout. Powerfully stupid.

Fail of tape worm scene. It had potential to be funny.

Fail of State Department scene. Too stupid.

Fail of torture scene.

Black Rob - Like Whoa (2000). Wow, I haven't heard that song in such a long time.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

American Assassin, 2017: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Stephen Schiff, Michael Finch, Edward Zwick, Marshall Herskovitz

Director: Michael Cuesta

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue. Oh dear god.

Plot: Muslim terrorists wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Weak acting all around.

Fail of Michael Keaton’s acting. Wrong actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of apartment scene.

Fail of MMA scene. Yes he's angry. We got it.

Fail of prep scenes throughout.

This idiot doesn't realize they're watching his webcam? Too unbelievable in 2017.

Fail of room/attack scene.

Fail of interrogation scene.

Fail of all intel scenes throughout. Too stupid.

Complete fail of writing, directing, dialogue, music.

"Train a diamond in the rough." Get the f*ck outta here.

Fail of all training scenes throughout.

Fail of all weapon meeting scenes throughout.

Fail of van shooting scene.

What is this movie supposed to be?

Oh dear god, Shiva Negar is super beautiful. Wow. And she can act too. Kudos.

Fail of op scene. Rookies.

Fail of room scene. Too unbelievable.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Decent hotel scene.

Fail of betrayal scene.

Fail of torture scene.

Fail of agent realization scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made almost $70 million proves that God does NOT exist.

A Bad Mom's Christmas, 2017: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Scott Moore, Jon Lucas

Director: Scott Moore, Jon Lucas

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Mothers wants to see their daughters for Christmas.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of narrated intro.

Fail of p*ssy waxing scene.

Fail of mall scenes throughout.

Still waiting for the comedy.

Fail of most family scenes.

Still waiting for the comedy.

Fail of most mother/daughter scenes throughout.

Fail of gingerbread talk scene.

What is this, American Gladiators for kids?

Decent obstacle course place scene.

The slow motions made it work.

Using the son as a shield. Could have been funnier.

What was the music clearance bill for this movie?

Good ball wax scene but still missing the comedy.

I didn't know that liberals celebrate Christmas anymore. I didn't know that climate change cult believers give gifts and dress up the house wasting the precious resources we have left. Oh well.

Fail of women's night out scene.

Fail of grandma grandchildren scenes throughout.

Fail of daughter house realization scene.

Fail of writing. This movie clearly wasn't written by a comedy writer.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Atomic Blonde, 2017: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Kurt Johnstad

Director: David Leitch

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue throughout.

Plot: KGB wants a list.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Charlize Theron’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of all intel scenes throughout.

Fail of east Berlin scene.

Fail of music content. Just terrible.

Fail of car chase scene.

Fail of almost all scenes. Powerfully stupid.

Fail of warehouse beating scene.

How much was the music clearance for this movie? Must have been pretty high.

Fail of bar scenes throughout.

Fail of all fight scenes throughout.

Decent protest scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Yes, all intel agents are expendable.

Fail of ending.

Fail of writing, directing, acting, music, dialogue.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, 2017: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Chris McKenna, Erik Sommers, Scott Rosenberg, Jeff Pinkner

Director: Jake Kasdan

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Students want a better life.

Story: Ambition, Ethics, Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Weak acting all around.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

It's a video game now. Oh dear.

Mother worried about him being dropped from the team? Fabulous parenting.

Fail of most school scenes. Weak.

I hope the comedy is strong because the plot is garbage.

Fail of game intro scene.

20 minutes into it and waiting for the comedy.

Fail of flashback scene.

Fail of evil villain scenes throughout. Too stupid.

40 minutes in and still waiting for the comedy.

Fail of attack scenes throughout.

Fail of friend conflict scene.

Fail of snake scene.

1 hour into it and I'm still waiting for the comedy.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Fail of new guy scenes throughout.

Fail of training flirt scene.

Backpack power? Oh dear god.

That's not dance fighting. Brazilian martial arts (Capoeira) is dance fighting. Watch Only the Strong (1993).

Fail of helicopter scene. A lot of wasted comedy potential.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

Fail writing, directing, acting, dialogue.

This movie only made money because of star power.

Sony struck gold with star power. Well done.

Doesn't hold a candle to the first movie.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Daddy's Home 2, 2017: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Sean Anders, John Morris

Director: Sean Anders

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Kids want a better life at home.

Story: Family, Relationships, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Drop kick from the swing. Jokes.

Decent theater scene.

"Chiseled from Gibraltar." Jokes.

Fail of airport scene.

Decent grandparents arrival scene at house.

Some wasted comedy potential so far.

Fail of van talk scene.

John Lithgow has come a long way from 3rd Rock from the Sun.

Yup, the Asian girl always pulls your attention. I understand.

Fail of initial family talk scene.

Fail of ski scene. Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of various outings scene. Wasted comedy potential.

I'm not liking the lack of comedy in this movie.

Sorry, but this can't compare to National Lampoons Christmas Vacation (1989).

Decent thermostat scene. Could have been much better. A lot of wasted comedy potential. Going down the drain here.

Life lesson, don't marry a woman who has kids. Nuff said. The only exception is when you have a dream of an angelic being telling you to be with her and that the angel will pop in to help from time to time. Only then should you enter into the sacred agreement. Either that or the biological father is dead.

Decent boy problem talk scene.

Decent cell phone tower scene.

4G obsolete. Jokes. 5G will permanently irradiate humanity. Well done.

The wolves are so cute.

Want to take the foot off. Jokes.

Fail of thermostat scene.

Decent bowling scene.

Fail of store scene.

Fail of hunting scene. Too stupid.

Fail of hospital scene.

Over an hour and almost no comedy.

Fail of improv scene.

Fail of climax scene. Too stupid.

Good ending.

This movie had potential, but wasted it too many times. Fail of writing.

I wanted to pass this movie but couldn't. There are some standards to comedy, and this movie didn't meet them.

The Space Between Us, 2017: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Allan Loeb

Director: Peter Chelsom

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue.

Plot: A man wants to colonize Mars.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro speech.

Fail of most space scenes.

Too unbelievable that NASA wouldn't have known, unless she was a liberal slut and did it the night before at a bar for one last rub in the hay.

Fail of all board talking scenes throughout. Too stupid.

Fail of jump in time.

20 minutes in and I’m still hoping that this movie is going somewhere.

Plot too unbelievable.

Fail of solution.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of all school scenes.

Fail of tone of movie. Fail of directing.

Fail of music content.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Complete failure of writing. How did this script get the green light? How did this movie get a wide release?

Underworld: Blood Wars, 2017: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Cory Goodman

Director: Anna Foerster

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Werewolves want to rule the world.

Story: Survival, Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Lara Pulver.

Comments:

Decent recap intro.

Fail of intro.

Decent coven talk scene.

Decent lycan train scene.

Fail of council meeting scene.

Ah…the rich vampire politics. Lovely.

Fail of training/betrayal scene.

Fail of escape scene.

Fail of woman train scene.

Northern people. Looks like the elves from Lord of the Rings.

Fail of northern scenes.

Good death room scene.

Fail of council/betrayal scene.

Fail of house battle scenes. Too dark, can’t see.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

Yes, Kate Beckinsale is beautiful as f*ck. But this series needs to die.

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter, 2017: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Paul W. S. Anderson

Director: Paul W. S. Anderson

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A corporation wants to destroy the world.

Story: Survival, Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Ruby Rose.

Comments:

Good explanation intro.

Fail of street scene.

Fail of road scene.

Black guy dies first again. Almost as if Hollywood is quietly speaking to the White nationalist movement.

Fail of tank fight scene. Too stupid.

Fail of battle scene. Just fluff.

Good cinematography throughout.

Good flashback scenes throughout.

Global warming destroying 90% of the world. Yah yah. Go cry yourself a river. And don't forget to take your antidepressants.

Good infiltration scenes throughout.

Good hive scenes throughout.

Predictive combat software. Jokes.

Good hive explanation scene.

Trinity of b*tches. Jokes.

Fail of climax scene. Too easy.

Excellent ending.

Multinational corporations must have loved this movie. Some corporations are bigger than countries and serve only their shareholders. An ideal situation for shareholders who want to control the planet/humanity.

The companies as big as entire countries' stock markets

World's largest corporations make more money than most countries on Earth combined

Jigsaw, 2017: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Josh Stolberg, Peter Goldfinger

Director: Peter Spierig and Michael Spierig

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to kidnap and test people.

Story: Survival, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Excellent survival scenes throughout.

Excellent investigative scenes throughout.

Excellent writing and directing.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Everything is excellent. Nuff said.

One of the best movies of all time.

47 Meters Down, 2017: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Johannes Roberts, Ernest Riera

Director: Johannes Roberts

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A woman wants to get over her breakup.

Story: Survival, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

A man left a woman. It's okay, I'm sure he was emotionally abusive or something. The feminist victim mentality movement welcomes you.

Ah…the sad lives of rich beautiful White people. Lovely.

Two White women in Mexico on their own. What?

Fail of diving scene.

Fail of the next hour of underwater survival scenes.

What is this supposed to be, an imitation of Jaws?

Fail of climax scene. Way too unbelievable.

Fail of ending.

Alien Covenant, 2017: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: John Logan, Dante Harper

Director: Ridley Scott

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Humans want to colonize a planet.

Story: Ambition, Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of Fassbender alone scenes.

Fail of captain speech scene.

Fail of plot process.

Fail of almost all scenes. Weak writing.

Fail of plot and survival scenes.

Fail of Fassbender scenes throughout.

Fail of past story scene.

Fail of AI scenes throughout.

Good alien ship scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Jeepers Creepers 3, 2017: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Victor Salva

Director: Victor Salva

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Something wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition, Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of police scenes throughout.

Blade in the tailpipe. Jokes.

Fail of all creature scenes throughout.

Fail of farm scene.

Fail of young boy scene.

Liberal parents. Try and beat your children once in a while.

Fail of truck scene.

Good hand scene.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Decent flashback scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Fail of writing and directing.

Birth of the Dragon, 2017: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Christopher Wilkinson, Stephen J. Rivele

Director: George Nolfi

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A Chinese gang wants to control the streets.

Story: Ambition, Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of class scene.

Fail of film scene.

Decent sparring scene.

Fail of alley scene.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Good beach scene.

Kung fu belongs to the Chinese people? Oh dear. Sorry, but all physical combat belongs to all of humanity.

Fail of tournament scene.

Good date scene.

Fail of Master Wong scenes throughout.

Fail of Bruce Lee scenes throughout.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of all fight scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Fail of characters. Fail of writing and directing.

Jason Scott Lee's Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story 1993 was much better.

Same Kind of Different As Me, 2017: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Ron Hall, Alexander Foard, Michael Carney

Director: Michael Carney

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to cheat on his wife.

Story: Relationships, Family, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of house scene.

The sad life of rich White people. Sigh.

Fail of gallery scene.

Fail of fight scene.

Fail of dream scene.

Good violence scene.

Good homeless shelter scenes throughout.

Fail of dad scene.

Old cliché characters.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of flashback scenes throughout.

Pictures of KKK in an art gallery. Really? That's news to me.

Fail of narration throughout.

Nothing like a health issue to get people to change.

Why do good things happen to bad people? Yah yah.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Fail of characters. Fail of writing.

Mother! 2017: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Darren Aronofsky

Director: Darren Aronofsky

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: People want to stay at a woman's house.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of initial house scenes.

Fail of initial guest scene.

Fail of basement scene.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Boring scenes throughout.

Opening the door to new people. Oh dear.

She resisted at first but then she gave in for the sex. I don't think that MeToo movement would approve.

Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Powerfully stupid movie. Fail of writing and directing.

20th Century Women, 2017: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Mike Mills

Director: Mike Mills

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Various people want a better life.

Story: Relationships, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Single child with older parent. Yikes.

Fail of house scenes throughout.

Good old clip scenes.

Why can't he just skip school. Oh dear.

A lot of movies are like real life and no longer entertaining. The first point of a movie is entertainment, then profit, then everything else comes after.

Just start beating the kid. Everything else will fall into place.

Boring scenes throughout.

Slutty liberal kids. Lovely.

Broken liberal families leads to more issues down the road.

Fail of sex talk scene.

Fail of car talk scene.

Fail of club scene.

Fail of narration throughout.

This movie is a homage to the feminist movement. Sigh.

Decent climax scene.

Fail of ending.

A Monster Calls, 2017: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Patrick Ness

Director: Juan Antonio García Bayona

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Bullies want to bully a kid.

Story: Family, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Good child acting by Lewis MacDougall.

Fail of Liam Neeson's voice acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good school scenes throughout.

Wow, that's a giant tree.

Good special effects throughout.

Fail of dream scenes throughout.

Good home scenes throughout.

Fail of tree scenes throughout.

Fail of animation scenes.

Fail of dad scenes throughout.

Good hospital scene.

Good cafeteria scene.

Fail of graveyard scene.

Good climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Fail of writing and directing.

$43 million production budget. Really? Universal Pictures and Entertainment One have money to burn.

Battle of the Sexes, 2017: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Simon Beaufoy

Director: Jonathan Dayton, Valerie Faris

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Men want to discriminate against women in sports.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of dinner scene.

A lot of big names in this movie.

Fail of tennis scene.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of hairdresser scene.

$7000 for every tournament. Oh dear.

Boring scenes throughout.

Fail of club scene.

Decent sex scene.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Decent tennis scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

LBJ, 2017: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Joey Hartstone

Director: Rob Reiner

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A politician wants a better life.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Woody Harrelson's acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of office scenes throughout.

Afraid people won't love him? Sounds like Donald Trump. Ha ha ha.

Boring scenes throughout.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Fail of assassination scene.

Fail of boardroom scenes throughout.

Fail of president office scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Fail of writing and directing.

$2.5 million at the box office. Ouch.

Victoria & Abdul, 2017: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Lee Hall

Director: Stephen Frears

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: British lords wants to look down on Indian people.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of boat scene.

Fail of preparation scenes throughout.

Yells soup in the hall. Jokes.

The British crown…just die already.

The royal pudding. Jokes. Best scene of the movie.

Fail of queen scenes throughout.

Ah yes, the crown owns so much frickin' land. Give some of that to visible minorities and we'll call it even.

Britain's Queen Elizabeth II owns all the land in Canada

Boring scenes throughout.

The eye rolls throughout are jokes.

The mango is off. Jokes.

Fail of fight scene.

Fail of issue scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

A romantic view of the British Crown. Sigh.

Fail of writing. Good directing and acting though.

Professor Marston & the Wonder Women, 2017: FAIL

Unknown (most likely Epic Commercial Failure)

Writer: Angela Robinson

Director: Angela Robinson

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Regulators want to ban a female comic book character.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Luke Evans' acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Excellent acting by Rebecca Hall.

Fail of Bella Heathcotes' acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of lecture scenes throughout.

Good observation scene.

Fail of all scenes with Luke Evans. His acting destroys the movie.

Penis envy. Jokes.

The movement as opposed to the child. Typical feminists.

A man lecturing women about power. Oh dear.

Fail of ritual scene.

Sorry, but a lie detector is still inadmissible in court because it can't be relied on objectively.

Fail of picnic scene.

Women as president of the US? ha ha ha. We'll see in 2024. What you can't achieve in reality, achieve in fiction and then let the fictional idea condition everyone. The Hollywood process.

Fail of beach scene.

Fail of lie detector plot as a catalyst.

Decent sex scene, but I don't think that MeToo movement would approve.

Fail of child family scenes throughout.

BDSM ropes. Oh dear.

Good comic book scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Fail of writing and dialogue. Good directing though.

Leatherface, 2017: FAIL

Unknown (most likely Epic Commercial Failure)

Writer: Seth M. Sherwood

Director: Julien Maury, Alexandre Bustillo

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A family wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition, Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good road scene.

Dumb women. You can't tell when you're being setup? Oh dear.

Decent farm scene.

Fail of psyc ward scene.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of mother office talk scene.

Shock therapy. Ah…the brilliance of unethical White atheist scientists. Lovely.

Fail of mayhem psyc war scene.

Fail of office guy scene.

Good sex scene.

Fail of hostage scene. Dumb plot.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of trailer scene.

Fail of night forest scene.

Fail of cop forest scene.

Well, she's a survivor.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

It had potential to pass, but...

Fail of writing. Decent directing.

The Book of Henry, 2017: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Gregg Hurwitz

Director: Colin Trevorrow

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A child wants a better life for his family.

Story: Family, Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Decent class scene.

Good home scenes throughout.

Mother playing the video game. Jokes.

Decent neighbor scene.

Good night scene.

Schools turning a blind eye to abuse? Almost like the Sandusky scandal.

Sandusky scandal penn state pedophilia

Penn State faces $2.4m fine for handling of Jerry Sandusky case and other crimes

Penn State to pay Sandusky child abuse victims $59.7m in settlements

Good principal scene.

Good hospital scenes.

Good school scenes throughout.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Good writing, directing, acting.

The production budget shouldn't have been $10 million. Regardless, the movie should have made more money. The fact that it didn't proves that god does NOT exist.

Beatriz at Dinner, 2017: PASS

Unknown (most likely Potential Profit)

Writer: Mike White

Director: Miguel Arteta

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A woman wants a better life.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

A new age practitioner. Lovely.

Decent massage scene.

Ah…the unbridgeable divide between the rich and the poor. Lovely.

Kidney stones like crystals. Ouch.

Good pool talk scene.

A sister wife. Jokes.

Good dinner talk scene.

Pure man and beast struggle. Jokes.

Good argument scene.

Good guitar scene.

Decent climax scene.

Good ending.

Not the best plot, but solid characters.

CHIPS, 2017: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Dax Shepard

Director: Dax Shepard

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Criminals want to steal money.

Story: Ethics, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

People still do brazen daytime robberies?

Fail of car chase scene.

What is this, another version of Baby Driver?

Fail of pier scene.

Fail of interview scene.

Fail of helicopter scene.

Fail of all FBI talk scenes throughout.

Fail of locker room scene.

Asked about the failed marriage. Jokes.

Fail of investigative scenes throughout.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of highway scene.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Fail of truck bike scene.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of gym scene.

Fail of motorcycle chase scenes throughout.

Hit paparazzi. Jokes.

Shot him again. Jokes. Best scene of the movie.

Decent phone sex scene.

A lot of wasted comedy potential in this movie.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

The Glass Castle, 2017: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Destin Daniel Cretton, Andrew Lanham

Director: Destin Daniel Cretton

Dialogue: Pass

Good dialogue throughout.

Plot: Hippie parents don't want their daughter to marry a guy.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Woody Harrelson.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent restaurant scene.

Good street scene.

Good hospital scenes.

Good car scenes throughout.

Good campfire scene.

Good mother/daughter scenes throughout.

Good pool scene.

Good house scenes throughout.

Excellent childhood scenes throughout.

Good music content throughout.

Good lunch scene.

For all the hippie liberal parent movies, this was well done.

Excellent arm wrestle scene. Best scene of the movie.

The Glass Castle 2017 - Arm Wrestle (2017)

Good fight scene.

Excellent teenage scenes throughout.

Decent bar scene.

Decent bed scene.

Good parents restaurant scene.

Good climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Excellent characters. Good acting and directing.

One of the best movies of all time.

This movie should have made more than $20 million at the box office. The fact that it didn't proves that God does NOT exist.

Collide, 2017: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: F. Scott Frazier, Eran Creevy

Director: Eran Creevy

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A businessman doesn't want to give a partner equal share.

Story: Relationships, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of club scene.

Fail of dating scenes.

Fail of restaurant talk scene.

Fail of plot. Fail of solution.

Fail of truck scene.

Fail of both boss scenes throughout.

Fail of shooting scene.

Good cinematography for chase scene.

Fail of convenience store.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Fail of writing. Good directing.

Free Fire, 2017: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Amy Jump, Ben Wheatley

Director: Ben Wheatley

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: The Irish Republican Army wants to buy guns.

Story: Ambition, Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Weak acting all around.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of warehouse scene. Oh wait, that's pretty much the entire movie.

Fail of writing. Fail of most scenes.

Fail of music content.

How did this movie get a wide release? Star power.

Fail of climax scene.

Shot in the ass. Oh dear.

Fail of ending.

Fail of writing and acting. Good directing though.

Ingrid Goes West, 2017: FAIL

Unknown (most likely Commercial Failure)

Writer: David Branson Smith, Matt Spicer

Director: Matt Spicer

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A woman doesn't want to invite another woman to her wedding.

Story: Relationships, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of psyc ward scene.

Fail of home scenes throughout.

I'm thankful that I was born prior to social media.

Good people voice over scenes throughout.

Lonely people who can't exist without social media. Sigh. Just die already.

Fail of initial landlord scene.

Pictures of food. Oh dear god.

Boring scenes throughout.

Fail of lunch scene.

Boring truck scenes throughout.

Sound bath. Oh dear.

Fail of parking lot scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Megan Leavey, 2017: PASS

Unknown (most likely Commercial Failure)

Writer: Pamela Gray, Annie Mumolo, Tim Lovestedt

Director: Gabriela Cowperthwaite

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: An employer wants to fire an employee.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Hey, Kate Mara from House of Cards. Nice to see you again.

Interesting solution.

Good marine training scenes throughout.

Good restaurant scene.

Adults yelling at people like they're kids. What a joke.

Good dog training scenes throughout.

The German shepherd is so cute and loving.

Good Iraq scenes throughout.

Good street scenes throughout.

Good party scene.

Ah…the greatest military force in the world…defeated by Iraqi insurgents. What a disgrace.

Good war scenes throughout.

Oh my god, the guy from The West Wing (Bradley Whitford). I barely recognized him.

Good family scenes.

Good death scene.

Good house night scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Passed with 3 writers. Kudos.

Should have made more than $14 million at the box office. The fact that it didn't proves that God does NOT exist.

The Hitman's Bodyguard, 2017: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Tom O'Connor

Director: Patrick Hughes

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A war criminal wants to escape justice.

Story: Ambition, Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Elodie Yung's acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of next client scene.

Fail of cabin scene.

Fail of court scene.

Fail of problem and solution. Too stupid.

Pure evil. Jokes.

Good phone scene.

Fail of couple fight scene.

Fail of Belarusian scenes throughout.

Fail of music content throughout.

Excellent jump scene.

Escape scene too unbelievable.

Movie is too unbelievable.

Fail of car scenes throughout.

Excellent Salma Hayek scenes throughout.

The fat girl is jokes.

Fail of bar flashback scene.

Fail of church death flashback.

Fail of clock scene.

Fail of street shooting scene.

Fail of boat street scene.

Fail of torture scene.

Fail of funeral flashback scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Fail of writing.

Tulip Fever, 2017: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Deborah Moggach, Tom Stoppard

Director: Justin Chadwick

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: An orphanage wants a girl to marry an old man.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Fail

Fail of Christoph Waltz's acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good maid scene.

Good doctor scene.

Men and women whoring around. Lovely.

Good painting scene.

Fail of all Christoph Waltz scenes throughout.

Good painting/sex scenes throughout.

Good cinematography.

I can't believe the tulip story is actually real.

Excellent geese scene.

Good birth scene.

Fail of climax scene. Too unbelievable.

Fail of ending.

It had the potential to pass with a better writer and better actors.

Table 19, 2017: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Jeffrey Blitz

Director: Jeffrey Blitz

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A couple wants to invite odd people to their wedding.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Eligible singles and iffy singles. Jokes.

Who invites a crazy White girl to a wedding?

Good jacket scene.

Good couple bickering scenes throughout.

Manitoba. Jokes.

Good table explanation scene.

Good dance request scene.

Good bathroom scene.

Good speech scene.

Good bathroom scene.

Decent elevator scene.

Good room talk scene.

Good nature talk scene.

Oh…what a scumbag.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

The Mountain Between Us, 2017: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Chris Weitz, J. Mills Goodloe

Director: Hany Abu-Assad

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Airlines want to cancel a flight.

Story: Survival

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Interesting solution.

Unbelievable accident scene.

Good survival scenes throughout.

Good ice scene.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

Odd movie, but passable.

$35 million production budget. Really?

Stronger, 2017: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: John Pollono

Director: David Gordon Green

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Terrorists want to bomb a marathon.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good terrorist scene.

Good hospital scene.

Good home recovery scenes throughout.

Good hockey scene.

Good elevator scene.

Good backyard scene.

Good car scene.

Good car argument scene.

Good flashback scene.

Good restaurant talk scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

21st century medical science and still not possible. Really?

Good writing, directing, acting.

$30 million production budget. Really?

This movie should have made more money. The fact that it didn't proves that God does NOT exist.

The Zookeeper's Wife, 2017: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Angela Workman

Director: Niki Caro

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Nazis wants to take over Poland.

Story: Survival, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good zookeeper scenes throughout.

Fail of house talk scene.

Good night elephant scene.

Good morning scene.

Good train scene.

Good German office talk scene.

Good tone to the movie.

Good Nazi scenes throughout.

Good night burning scenes.

Decent climax scene.

Good ending.

Good writing, directing, acting.

The Snowman, 2017: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Hossein Amini, Peter Straughan, Soren Sveistrup

Director: Tomas Alfredson

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Someone wants to abduct and kill married women.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Fail of Val Kilmer's acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Decent initial Fassbender scenes.

Fail of investigator talk scene.

Good boy talk scenes throughout.

Good barn killing scene.

Fail of auditorium scene.

Decent house interview scene.

Fail of train scene.

Fail of all Val Kilmer scenes throughout.

Fail of investigative scenes throughout.

Fail of room scene.

Fail of death scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Fail of writing.

Could have passed with a better writer.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Split, 2017: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: M. Night Shyamalan

Director: M. Night Shyamalan

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to abduct girls.

Story: Ambition, Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of James McAvoy's acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of car scene. Too unbelievable.

Fail of captive scenes throughout.

Everything is too unbelievable.

Fail of therapist scenes throughout. Weak explanation scene.

Fail of all scenes. Beyond suspension of disbelief. Fail of writing.

Fail of flashback scenes throughout.

Fail of surveillance scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Complete fail of writing.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

The Man Who Invented Christmas, 2017: FAIL

Unknown (most likely Commercial Failure)

Writer: Susan Coyne

Director: Bharat Nalluri

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Publishers don't want to publish a failing author.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Dan Stevens' acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of bed talk scene.

Fail of graveyard scene.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of family scenes throughout.

The sight of cows. Oh dear.

Fail of flashback scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.