Hollywood Movie Review Series:

*Movies are in no particular order. Please use Crtl F on your keyboard to find a particular movie. Movies that got a wide release in the year after their first screening are listed in the next year. For example, 300 (2006) is listed in 2007 because it only got a wide release in 2007.

*Don't worry about spoilers. You can read the review of any movie without being afraid of spoilers and enjoy the movie if you watch it. I intentionally made sure not to ruin a movie by revealing a hidden plot or hidden climax scene. I simply pass or fail each scene and comment on them.

Strange Wilderness, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Peter Gaulke, Fred Wolf

Director: Fred Wolf

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A TV station wants to cancel a wildlife show.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Another stupid funny movie. Christ.

Fail of all wildlife reporting scenes. Weak characters.

Fail of all friend scenes.

Fail of writing. Fail of almost all scenes.

Fail of White thug scene.

Fail of all trailer scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Garbage writing and directing.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movies shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $7 million proves that God DOES exist.

The Forbidden Kingdom, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: John Fusco

Director: Rob Minkoff

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: An evil warlord wants to rule people.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting.

Fail of Michael Angarano’s acting.

Fail of Li Bingbing’s acting.

Comments:

Complete fail of magic fighting intro.

Learn kung fu, kick their ass, get the girl. Jokes.

Fail of guy/girl talk scene.

Fail of beating up scene.

Thugs robbing from an antique store. Really?

Magic staff. Oh dear.

Fail of all writing, directing, dialogue.

Excellent fighting scenes from Jackie Chan and Jet Li as usual.

Ah…the white boy savior prophecy. Of course. Well done Hollywood.

Fail of everything in this movie aside from the fighting scenes.

A White boy to save the weak Asians. Sounds like The Great Wall (2016/ wide release in 2017).

Fail of past story scene. Wow, it's complete garbage.

And the hot Asian woman is speaking in the third person. Oh dear god.

Fail of almost every scene.

Ah…the evil warlord and the cheesy music content to go along with it. Sigh.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say Hollywood is intentionally making sh*tty movies with visible minorities to keep them in their place. And no, Black Panther (2018) is not going to save visible minority movies. It's just a fictional superhero movie. Black audiences resonate with a fictional mythology just as feminists resonate with a fictional empowered matriarch mythology.

Good temple fight scene.

Good comedic training scenes, but not enough to pass.

Fail of music content throughout.

Excellent peeing scene.

Insult to the name of Buddha? Umm…just in case you don't know, Buddha/Buddhism is very sexist to women.

There's a misogynist aspect of Buddhism that nobody talks about

Fail of mountain scenes.

Fail of climax battle scene.

Fail of ending.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

What Happens in Vegas, 2008: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Dana Fox

Director: Tom Vaughan

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A father wants a son to take his life seriously.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good apartment scene.

Excellent embarrassing apartment scene.

Good double contrast bar scene.

Dumb Vegas room scene.

Decent front desk scene.

Good party Vegas scenes throughout.

Good breakfast scene.

Good court scene.

Good apart door scene.

Good apartment scenes throughout.

Good therapy scenes throughout.

Fail of boardroom scene.

Good bathroom scene.

Good parents talk scene.

Good party scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Adam Sandler, Robert Smigel, Judd Apatow

Director: Dennis Dugan

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A corporation wants to build a supermall.

Story: Character, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting.

Comments:

Fail of beach intro scene.

"If he can do that with a hacky sack, I'm sure he's great in bed." Really? Oh dear.

Israeli counter intelligence. Really?

Fail of intel office scene.

Powerfully stupid movie. Fail of writing.

Beautiful women throwing themselves at him. Oh dear.

Fail of dinner scene.

Fail of terrorist scenes. Complete failure.

What is this movie, Israeli propaganda?

Hey, the S7 guy from Transformers (John Turturro). Nice to see you again.

Good fish scene, but fail of lake scene.

Good plane cargo scene.

Ah…the Adam Sandler and Chris Rock combination. Still continuing in 2018. Yah, it doesn't really work. Stick to standup Chris Rock.

Fail of taxi scene.

Fail of hair dresser scene.

Fail of car street scene.

Throws a bike. Really?

Fail of conflict scene.

Israeli intelligence officer a superman. Wow. Fabulous propaganda movie.

Rob Steiner as a Middle Eastern taxi driver. Of course.

Fail of every scene.

Oh...the cat is so cute and loving.

Ah yes…the Israeli super sex machine man. Of course.

Fail of club scene.

Fail of all hair dressing scenes.

Fail of electronics store scene.

Fail of kebab scene.

Fail of music content throughout.

Fail of street scene.

Fail of limo scene.

Fail of all writing, directing, acting, dialogue, characters, music content.

What was the music clearance bill for this movie? But it made over $200 million so it doesn't really matter.

Screwing in the hair salon. I don't think that MeToo movement would take too kindly to this. But then again, the middle aged woman wouldn't really care because it's a younger man, who they secretly long for in their romance novels.

Fail of all Middle East taxi scenes.

Fail of doctor scene.

Juggling a cat. What? That's not cool.

Fail of all house scenes.

Fail of superhero fight scenes.

Wasted comedy potential. But then again, that's assuming Adam Sandler had comedy potential from the beginning. Oh no he didn’t. Oh yes I did.

Fail of boardroom scenes.

Fail of Middle Eastern rocky scenes.

Israel vs. Lebanon in hacky sack. Is that a real thing?

And now we have Mariah Carey. Oh dear god.

Fail of climax scene.

This movie had potential to improve Israeli/Palestinian relations. But it turned out to be sh*t.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. The fact that this movie made over $200 million proves that God does NOT exist.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Vantage Point, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Barry L. Levy

Director: Pete Travis

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Terrorists want to kill the US president.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

A movie from multiple perspectives. Yawn.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing and directing.

Fail of elevator scene.

And the plot thickens. What is this, The Island (2005)?

Terrorists breach so easily. Really? Too unbelievable.

Good other elevator scene.

Excellent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

The House Bunny, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Karen McCullah Lutz, Kirsten Smith

Director: Fred Wolf

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A playboy boss wants to get rid of a playboy bunny.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Ah…the dumb playboy blondes. Well done feminism. They look so empowered.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of cop scene.

Fail of jail scene.

Hey, the woman from National Lampoons Christmas Vacation and High Point (Beverly D'Angelo). Nice to see you again.

A hot blond woman to get men. Fabulous female empowerment again.

Decent naked scene. Sadly, it was the highlight of the movie.

Weak writing so far.

Fail of car wash scene.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of all characters.

And now they're wearing makeup and look like high fashion sluts. Feminists would actually be proud of them and see it as female empowerment. Whereas I would see it as subservience to the patriarchy and deep self-esteem issues.

Fail of all scenes.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of date scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

The Boy in Striped Pyjamas, 2008: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Mark Herman

Director: Mark Herman

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A family wants a better life under the Nazis.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent home scenes throughout.

Plot through the eyes of children, one on each side. Very well done.

Heartbreaking friendship scenes throughout. Very well done.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Slow beginning, but powerful movie.

Not one of the best movies of all time, but I strongly recommend watching it.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Eric Roth

Director: David Fincher

Dialogue: Fail

"But we're all born the same way. Just taking different roads to get there." Excellent line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A disabled man wants a better life.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of grainy past footage scene.

Excellent taking care of child scenes throughout. In real life, it's not like this movie, but I’ll go with it.

Good church scene.

Fail of ship scene.

Fail of dialogue throughout.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Even Brad Pitt's acting can't pass this movie. It just didn't work.

Fail of non-climax scene.

Excellent ending, but not enough to pass.

$167 million production budget. Holy f*ck. Paramount Pictures and Warner Brother Pictures have money to burn.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Jason Segel

Director: Nicholas Stoller

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to get over his ex-girlfriend.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of house scene.

Decent doctor scene.

"You can gag me?" Gotta love female submissiveness which is now female empowerment.

This character is too sad to watch.

This is the level that men are at. Once you f*ck with our hearts, we're damaged goods. But not as bad as this character.

Fail of stalking scenes.

Russell Brand. Nuff said. In real life and on screen this man had the dream life of screwing lots of beautiful women. But he realized that it's all meaningless and found another path. A happy ending.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of yoga scene.

So many A-list stars, but the movie is still garbage.

Fail of bar night talk scenes throughout.

Fail of all beach scenes throughout.

Decent rock scene.

Fail of idiot emotional guy.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

The Reader, 2008: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: David Hare

Director: Stephen Daldry

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A tribunal wants to indict a Nazi prison guard.

Story: Relationships, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Kate Winslet.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good school scenes throughout.

Good intimate scenes throughout.

Excellent tribunal scenes throughout.

Excellent cinematography.

Excellent music content.

Whistling at women. In the UK that could be a crime:

Make catcalling a hate crime, UK Labour MP to urge parliament

Good speech scenes throughout.

Good hospital scenes.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Elizabeth Chandler

Director: Sanaa Hamri

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A group of girls want a better life.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Decent friend talk scenes throughout.

Drawing naked people. I'm surprised this still exists.

Saving a condom for 2 years. Jokes.

Fail of most scenes. Boring. Lack of comedy and lack of drama. Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Vicky Christina Barcelona, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Woody Allen

Director: Woody Allen

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Two woman want to find love.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of narrated intro.

Too much narration throughout. It destroys the film.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing, directing.

One man screwing two woman who are best friends. Of course. Well done Hollywood. The MeToo movement would love this movie.

Oh…this movie is made by Woody Allen and financed by The Weinstein Company. Now it makes sense.

Ah…and there's another woman now, well done Allen and Weinstein.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Almost as if the movie was made just so male celebrities could get laid. Sometimes, pretend sex on-camera turns into real sex off-camera. Either before or after shooting.

Lakeview Terrace, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: David Loughery, Howard Korder

Director: Neil LaBute

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to get rid of his neighbors.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Movie is flat with forced action/drama.

Kudos for pushing the interracial envelope.

Boring and cliché problem scenes throughout. Fail of writing.

If I wanted to watch a movie about regular day to day bullsh*t, I'll look out my window.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Never Back Down, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Chris Hauty

Director: Jeff Wadlow

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A boy wants to deal with the death of his dad.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Djimon Hounsou usual.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of almost every scene. Complete fail of writing.

What is this, American Pie without the comedy?

Using martial arts as your high. Well…that’s something.

Fail of background music content.

Scenes are way too overdramatic.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

City of Ember, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Caroline Thompson

Director: Gil Kenan

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue.

Plot: People want to survive.

Story: Ambition, Survival

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Complete fail of all acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro. Nice to see beginning scene of scientists, architects, and engineers are all White. Well done Hollywood. And it went downhill from there.

Always nice to see a Hollywood set that looks like a Hollywood set. Please shoot at 24 FPS with an adequate depth of field. It’s not rocket science.

Fail of assignment day scene.

Fail of dad scenes.

Fail of engineer scenes throughout.

Fail of mayor scenes throughout. Just terrible.

Fail of girl/guy scenes throughout.

Fail of all scenes. Boring.

I couldn't help but notice that there no visible minority leads. Always nice to see the token Black person supporting the strong White leads. I'd expect nothing less from Hollywood.

Fail of escape scenes.

Fail of solution scenes.

Fail of creature room scene.

Fail of night/day scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $18 million proves that God DOES exist.

Kit Kittredge: An American Girl, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Ann Peacock

Director: Patricia Rozema

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue throughout.

"Are you comfortable." "No." "Excellent." Weak line, excellent delivery.

Plot: An employer wants to fire an employee.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Fail of Abigail Breslin’s acting.

Excellent acting by Stanley Tucci as usual.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Another period piece. Christ.

Ah…the problems of rich White families. Cry me a river.

Fail of outdoor lunch scene.

Fail of tree house scene.

Fail of practically every scene.

Chris O'Donnell. Wow. What a blast from the past. I only remember you from Batman Forever (1995).

Fail of all house scenes throughout.

Fail of acting, writing, directing, characters.

Good magician scenes throughout.

Decent newspaper scene. Ah…the heydays of print journalism. Remember it while you can. kids from today's generation don't even know what a cassette is.

Ah…the token Black kid. Thank god. I was beginning to worry.

These two cops almost look like Nazis.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

I don't know what this movie wanted to be, and neither did audience.

Charlie Bartlett, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Gustin Nash

Director: Jon Poll

Dialogue: Pass

"My family has a psychiatrist uncle. How normal can I be?" Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: A teenager wants a better life at school.

Story: Character, Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Anton Yelchin’s acting. Wrong actor for the role.

Excellent acting by Kat Dennings.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent scenes throughout but weak writing.

Always nice to see a movie about the plight of rich White people. Perhaps you can show it to people in developing nations.

This would have passed if not for the main father and rich mother characters. They don't work. But the high school drama works well.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

Redbelt, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: David Mamet

Director: David Mamet

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A woman wants to deal with her past emotional trauma.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of almost every scene. Complete fail of writing.

Though it's a sh*t movie, it's great to see a strong Black martial artist movie similar to ones with Michael Jai White.

Plot is too melodramatic when it doesn't have to be.

I'm surprised Joe Rogan wasn't in this movie.

Fail of music content.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

It's difficult to be an Epic Commercial Failure with a production budget of $7 million. But this movie pulls it off. Yikes. And it had a wide release of almost 1400 theaters. That shows how bad the movie is.

Should have been direct to video/streaming like Scott Adkins and Michael Jai White movies.

Meet Dave, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Bill Corbett, Rob Greenberg

Director: Brian Robbins

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Extraterrestrials want to destroy the Earth.

Story: Ethics, Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of acting by inner people.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

What happened to the fish in the beginning? I didn't see a body.

Fail of jump in time. What the hell is the writer doing?

Excellent lip movement scene in beginning.

Interesting CGI effects.

Nice to see a Black extraterrestrial captain.

Writes out the unified field theory for 5th graders. Jokes.

Very dumb police officer plot.

Hot dog hitting Kevin Hart. Jokes.

Good colon release scene, but could have been better.

Good comedic moments, but not enough to pass.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Traitor, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jeffrey Nachmanoff

Director: Jeffrey Nachmanoff

Dialogue: Pass

"If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for...he isn't fit to live." Good line, fail in delivery.

"Terrorism is theatre. And theatre is always performed for an audience." Excellent line, good delivery.

Plot: Muslim terrorists want to commit terrorism.

Story: Ambition, Purpose

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Interesting take on terrorism from a Muslim perspective. But without a good backstory, inner conflict isn't passable. This movie should be redone today with a better writer.

Everything else is good except the writing/backstory.

Just have to rework the plot to fit the backstory.

I can understand why White audiences didn't support this movie financially.

I always like how agents meet with their secret handlers in the open in movies. Easy for counterintelligence to take a picture/record the moment.

Interesting sleeper cell activation.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Bangkok Dangerous, 2008: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Danny Pang Phat, Oxide Pang Chun

Director: Danny Pang Phat, Oxide Pang Chun

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: An assassin wants to kill people in Bangkok.

Story: Character

Characters: Pass

Fail of local contact character Kong.

Excellent pharmacy woman character.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Narration is excessive, but understandable.

Good women plot.

Fail of local contact plot.

Nice to see some Wing Chun in there.

Oddly enough, Nicholas Cage is the right actor for this character.

Excellent pharmacy woman scenes.

Excellent background music content.

The elephant is so cute.

Fail of past assassination flashback scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

A lot of failures in the movie but passable due to music content and decent writing.

The Longshots, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Nick Santora, Doug Atchison

Director: Fred Durst

Dialogue: Pass

"You're too young to be feeling sorry for yourself. Too old to be this damn stupid." Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Family, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting all around.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Ah…church, the only salvation for Black people. How sad.

Decent school scenes throughout.

Entrusting her only daughter with a homeless guy. Of course that makes sense.

Good to excellent scenes with girl and Ice Cube.

Fail of music content throughout.

That’s her calling? Really? How did that develop?

Ice Cube's acting is excellent but the football medium doesn't make sense.

Good football training scenes throughout.

Sports as a way to bring out character. Yawn. Yes it can work, but sad that it does.

Would be nice if she had another Black friend. Both can be miserable and develop together.

Packaging company closed and neighborhood fell to sh*t? That's not the company’s fault. That's a lack of empowerment, vision, and innovation from the Black community. Just telling it how it is. Stop expecting companies to save low-income communities.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

Football empowerment movie. Yawn.

First Sunday, 2008: FAIL

Unknown (most likely Potential Profit)

Writer: David E. Talbert

Director: David E. Talbert

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Two guys want a better life.

Story: Character, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Tracy Morgan’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Stolen wheelchairs. That's low, even for poor Black people.

Decent court scene.

Ah…the baby mama. Gotta take responsibility, otherwise it’s govt run foster care. And once they're in, they're f*cked.

Fail of apartment scene.

Fail of diner scene.

A church. Really?

And then they let out all their shit for Jesus to clean their soul. Oh please.

Garbage movie.

Interesting interludes of the choir members, but not enough to pass.

Decent court climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

Stop-Loss, 2008: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Kimberly Peirce, Mark Richard

Director: Kimberly Peirce

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: US govt wants more soldiers in the Middle East.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good long intro.

Good bus scene.

Good parade scene.

Good speech scene.

Good night scene.

Excellent front lawn scene.

Good outdoor fun scene.

Eating snakes. Wow.

Excellent office scene.

Good argument scene.

Good running scenes throughout.

Good motel room scene.

Excellent night street scene.

Excellent visitation scene.

Yah, everyone saw that coming.

Good funeral scene.

Fail of non-climax scene.

Decent ending.

Solid movie. Should have made more money.

Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins, 2008: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Malcolm D. Lee

Director: Malcolm D. Lee

Dialogue: Pass

"N*gga what is you cryin for?" Decent line, good delivery.

Plot: Parents want to see their adult child and his fiancé.

Story: Family, Relationships, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Mo'Nique.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Fail of soccer scene.

Excellent bed sex scene.

Decent kitchen scene.

Fail of plane scene.

Decent car intro scene.

Good kitchen scene.

Token White girl. Jokes.

Good house/family scenes throughout.

Decent baseball scene.

Fake ass Bruce Lee. Jokes. Excellent fight scene.

Good dog sex scene.

Good brother fight scene.

Excellent bathroom scene. Double whooper. Jokes.

Good outdoor scene.

Decent car scene.

Good Mo'Nique speech scene.

Good climax speech scene.

Good ending.

Excellent credits ending scene.

This movie shouldn't have cost $35 million to make.

Solid Black family comedy movie.

Nick And Norah's Infinite Playlist, 2008: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Lorene Scafaria

Director: Peter Sollett

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A guy wants to get over his breakup.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Kat Dennings.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good school scene.

Good party scene.

Excellent car scenes throughout.

Hits him in the throat. Jokes.

The ex wants him back. Yup, sounds about right.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Good writing, directing, acting.

Solid relationship movie, but Kat Dennings’ acting really pushed the envelope.

The Duchess, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Jeffrey Hatcher, Anders Thomas Jensen, Saul Dibb

Director: Saul Dibb

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A duke wants to cheat on his wife.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting overall, but boring characters.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of everything. Fail of writing.

Flat boring movie.

Ah…period pieces. When will Hollywood and UK actors/actresses ever stop?

Too much stale dialogue.

Plot moving too slowly.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Pride and Glory, 2008: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Gavin O'Connor, Joe Carnahan

Director: Gavin O'Connor

Dialogue: Pass

"Get that f*cking monkey language out of my f*cking yard." Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: Someone wants to kill cops.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Rick Gonzalez.

Excellent acting by Colin Farrell.

Good acting by Edward Norton.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good chaotic scene.

Good bathroom scene.

Good investigative scenes throughout.

Good house dinner scene.

Disturbing scenes. Well done.

I'd like to see Rick Gonzalez in more lead roles.

Good commanding officer scenes throughout.

Fail of cab scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Solid movie.

This movie should have made more money.

Swing Vote, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Joshua Michael Stern, Jason Richman

Director: Joshua Michael Stern

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue.

Plot: A state election wants to break a tie breaking vote.

Story: Family

Characters: Fail

Terrible characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Kevin Costner’s acting.

Excellent acting by Madeline Carroll.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Powerfully stupid movie.

Complete fail of all writing, acting, directing. Oh dear god.

Generally speaking, Kevin Costner in a comedy doesn't work.

Undocumented actors. Jokes.

Nana Visitor from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and Dark Angel. Wow. Nice to see you again.

Fail of climax speech scene.

Decent ending.

The Secret Life of Bees, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Gina Prince-Bythewood

Director: Gina Prince-Bythewood

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue throughout.

"Why do White people always think sports is the only way we can be successful?" Excellent line, good delivery.

Plot: White people want to discriminate against Black people.

Story: Purpose, Ethics, Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Terrible characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Dakota Fanning’s acting. Wrong actor for the role.

Fail of Paul Bettany’s acting. Wrong actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of kitchen scenes.

Fail of fight scene.

Fail of relationship between girl and slave woman. Another movie to put Black people in their place? Lovely.

Fail of house scenes throughout.

Fail of everything. Complete fail of writing and acting.

Black people being saved by Christianity. Sigh.

Fail of music content.

Garbage acting, character, dialogue. Complete failure.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

W., 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Stanley Weiser

Director: Oliver Stone

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue throughout. Oh dear god, this is some of the worse dialogue I've ever heard.

Plot: The US president wants to invade Iraq.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Complete fail of all acting. Oh dear god.

Fail of Josh Brolin’s acting.

Fail of Jeffrey Wright’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Instead of celebrating Bush as a man of ambition, he should be denigrated as a warlord along with Tony Blair and Dick Cheney and tried for crimes against humanity.

Aside from JFK (1991), Oliver Stone's work is going downhill.

Fail of every single scene. Oh dear god.

Complete fail of all writing.

Ah…the sad story of White privilege.

Fail of music content throughout.

Some of the worst acting, dialogue, characters I've ever seen.

Fail of anti-climax scene.

Fail of ending. Complete garbage.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that this movie makes less than $30 million proves that God DOES exist.

Inkheart, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: David Lindsay-Abaire

Director: Iain Softley

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: People want to kidnap a family.

Story: Family, Ambition, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Fail

Fail of Brendan Fraser’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

An old book shop. Those won't exist in another decade or so. Not with the lack of demand and high lease cost.

Fail of magical creatures plot.

Too much overacting from Brendan Fraser and most actors/actresses. They're too loud. It's almost as if they think that they're on Broadway.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

This movie should be redone today with better actors and a better writer.

Doubt, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: John Patrick Shanley

Director: John Patrick Shanley

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue throughout.

"You know what I'm talking about. You're controlling the expression on your face right now aren't you?" Good line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A priest wants to take an interest in a boy.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Philip Seymour Hoffman as usual.

Fail of Meryl Streep’s acting. Disappointed.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Too slow and flat movie, even though it's nuns.

Conflicted nuns when they're conditioned by a religious patriarchy. Tough life but you chose it.

30 minutes in and no problem. Really?

Fail of confrontation scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Nights in Rodanthe, 2008: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Ann Peacock, John Romano

Director: George C. Wolfe

Dialogue: Pass

"You should have married that hippie potter with the great ass back in school. Hell, I should have married the hippie potter with the great ass." Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: A man wants to sue a doctor for the death of his wife.

Story: Family, Relationships, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Viola Davis as usual.

Comments:

Good intro.

Ah…the rebellion of a real tattoo. I look forward to the challenges with my future children.

Excellent beach house talk scenes throughout.

Beautiful beach house.

Interesting Richard Gere plot.

Good storm scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Good movie. Not the best, but good.

The Other Boleyn Girl, 2008: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Peter Morgan

Director: Justin Chadwick

Dialogue: Pass

"Betrothed is not married. It's a long journey from bended knee to the altar." Excellent line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A king wants a male heir.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Family

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Natalie Portman’s acting.

Fail of Scarlett Johansson’s acting.

Excellent acting by Kristin Scott Thomas.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Beautiful scenery shots.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Improper intimacies. That's one way of putting it.

Amazingly, a decent period piece. Very rare.

Wasted dialogue on terrible actors.

Kristin Scott Thomas’ acting really passed this movie.

Good music content throughout.

Decent climax scene.

Decent ending.

How to Lose Friends & Alienate People, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Peter Straughan

Director: Robert B. Weide

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue.

Plot: Hollywood wants to ignore a journalist.

Story: Ambition, Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of main character.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Jeff Bridges’ acting.

Fail of Kirsten Dunst’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of everything. Complete fail of writing.

Powerfully stupid movie.

A celebrity magazine?

It's not out of business today only because there are still yuppies reading and big corporate advertisers.

Decent office striptease scene. Could have been better.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Blindness, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Don McKellar

Director: Fernando Meirelles

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: People want to deal with their blindness.

Story: Survival, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Fail of Danny Glover’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Powerfully stupid movie.

Complete fail of every scene. Oh dear god.

Fail of all scenes prior to confinement, in confinement, and out of confinement.

Blind people are going to be left on their own without help? Really? Were they expecting their dormant ESP to kick in?

Fail of narration throughout.

Lazy writing.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

How did this movie get a wide release of over 1600 theatres? Star power.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $20 million proves that God DOES exist.

Smart People, 2008: FAIL

Unknown budget (most likely Commercial Failure)

Writer: Mark Poirier

Director: Noam Murro

Dialogue: Fail

"Well, your father is gonna kill you. But for the time being, I'm filled with pride." Good line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A university wants to hire a new head of a department.

Story: Family, Relationships, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Good acting by Sarah Jessica Parker.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of regular life scenes. Too boring.

Ah…the sh*tty life of white privileged professors. Oh the tragedy.

Flat characters and dialogue. Fail of writing.

Weak acting all around.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Australia, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Baz Luhrmann, Ronald Harwood, Stuart Beattie, Richard Flanagan

Director: Baz Luhrmann

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A large cattle ranch company wants a monopoly on the beef market.

Story: Ambition, Survival, Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Powerfully stupid.

Fail of narration throughout.

Using some comedy to bring out Aboriginal exploitation in Australia. Decent attempt, but fails.

The dog is so cute and loving in the truck.

Fail of imaginary scenes throughout.

Fail of music content.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Nim's Island, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Joseph Kwong, Paula Mazur, Mark Levin, Jennifer Flackett

Director: Jennifer Flackett, Mark Levin

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: An editor wants an author to finish a book.

Story: Family, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

The sea lion is so cute and loving.

White people and their endless imagination. Lovely.

You know, I don't know many visible minorities with stupid germophobe fears. They usually have real problems to deal with like racial discrimination.

Overdramatic with no story. It's just imagination and rolling the dice. Fail of writing.

Little girl is empowered but too unbelievable.

Funny author scenes when leaving to rescue, but not enough to pass.

Plane scene could have been better.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Penelope, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Leslie Caveny

Director: Mark Palansky

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A woman wants to curse a rich White family.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Family, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Fail

Good acting by Catherine O'Hara.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Stupid comedy, but would have been passable with good acting.

Mole on the third date. Jokes.

Shatter proof glass. Jokes.

Shame the acting was so weak.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

This movie should be redone today with better actors.

Over Her Dead Body, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Jeff Lowell

Director: Jeff Lowell

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A dead woman doesn't want her husband to be with another woman.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Fail of Lindsay Sloane’s acting.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Excellent dog hoisting scene in vet. Jokes.

Fail of music content.

Stole a cat to talk to a guy. Jokes. Shame it wasn't funny.

Dog doesn't like to be lifted up. Jokes.

Excellent airport bird scene.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

This movie should be redone today with a better writer.

The Rocker, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Maya Forbes, Wallace Wolodarsky

Director: Peter Cattaneo

Dialogue: Fail

Weak dialogue.

"I’m gonna have to ask you to pack your things and leave." "This is my apartment." Decent line and delivery.

Plot: A music label wants to get rid of a drummer from a band.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Good acting by Christina Applegate.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of backstage scene.

Good break up scene.

Fail of lunch scene.

Good garage scene.

Fail of audition scene.

Fail of prom scene.

Christina Applegate from Married with Children. Wow. What a blast from the past.

Fail of living room scene.

Decent characters. Shame the dialogue and acting is weak.

Fail of label and touring scenes.

Fail of cafeteria scene.

Bradley Cooper. Jokes.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Decent ending.

Nothing like the Holidays, 2008: FAIL

Unknown (most likely Commercial Failure)

Writer: Rick Najera, Ted Perkins, Alison Swan

Director: Alfredo De Villa

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Parents want to see their adult kids for the holiday.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Trinidad is Puerto Rican not Black. Umm...what? Like Guyana, black slaves were brought over to Trinidad.

Fail of music content.

Comedy is decent but not enough to pass. It needs a real plot aside from the one that appears in the middle.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

People in a loveless marriage. And people wonder why the divorce rate is so high.

Wow, even Brown families don't have this much drama at Christmas.

Decent climax scenes but not enough to pass.

Decent ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Oddly enough, this movie should be redone today with a better writer.

Righteous Kill, 2008: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Russell Gewirtz

Director: Jon Avnet

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A cop wants to kill criminals.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro scene.

Good grainy video narration throughout.

Good planting evidence scene.

Good bathroom scene.

Good sex scene. Crazy BDSM women.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of deal scene.

Fail of baseball scene.

Decent to good investigative scenes throughout.

Good tone to the movie. Good directing.

Decent set up scene.

Good climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Miracle at St. Anna, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: James McBride

Director: Spike Lee

Dialogue: Fail

Garbage dialogue.

Plot: A man wants to shoot another man.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Strong beginning. Shame it went downhill from there.

Historical films. Tough market to crack. Leave it to Christopher Nolan.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Shame the past scenes bring the move down.

Fail of most scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Excellent ending. Very well done, but not enough to pass the boring history.

The first role of a movie is to entertain. Education is a far second or third after profit.

Saw V, 2008: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan

Director: David Hackl

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to kidnap and test people.

Story: Survival, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good investigative scenes throughout.

Excellent survival scenes throughout.

Excellent Kramer and detective scenes throughout.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

88 Minutes, 2008: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Gary Scott Thompson

Director: Jon Avnet

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to rape and kill women.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Alicia Witt.

Comments:

Good intro.

Decent court scene.

Al Pacino screwing a younger woman. Well done Hollywood. But I don’t think the MeToo movement would approve.

Excellent FBI meeting scene.

Good music content throughout.

Good lecture scenes throughout.

Good office scenes throughout.

Good underground parking lot scene.

Good investigative scenes throughout.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid movie.

The Spiderwick Chronicles, 2008: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Karey Kirkpatrick, David Berenbaum, John Sayles

Director: Mark Waters

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: An ogre wants ultimate power.

Story: Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Single mom and a bad child. Put two slaps in him and he'll sing a new tune. Oh, but liberals don't spank their children because it's a cruel punishment. I hope there's a special place in hell for atheist liberals. Joking. I don’t believe in eternal hell. Unless it’s on Earth.

Good childhood squabbling scenes throughout.

Hair tied to the bed. Jokes.

Good short fairy creature scenes throughout.

Given him the sight. Jokes.

I like that they kept the location at the house instead of another magical land.

Good underground escape scene.

Good magical creature scenes throughout.

Good house attack scene.

Good family problem scenes throughout.

Oh dear, now we have the magical world. But I'll let it pass.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Solid childrens movie. Kudos.

Passed with 3 writers. Kudos.

$90 million production budget. Holy f*ck. Paramount Pictures has money to burn.

Proud American, 2008: FAIL

Unknown (most likely Epic Commercial Failure)

Writer: Fred Ashman

Director: Fred Ashman

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: People want a better life in America.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro. Enough with the quotes and narration. F*ck sakes.

Fail of swearing in scene.

Decent standup comedy scenes throughout.

It's narration throughout. Oh dear.

US navy being kind to immigrants. That's news to me. Beyond suspension of disbelief. Ha ha ha.

Fail of classroom scene.

Fail of cafeteria scene.

Fail of all school scenes.

Fail of music content throughout.

Fail of home scenes throughout.

Complete fail of writing, directing, acting, dialogue.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

1886 Atlanta. Oh dear.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Complete fail of all scenes.

Fail of military scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it's most likely an Epic Commercial Failure proves that God DOES exist.

This movie would have failed as a documentary as well. Should have been straight to video/streaming.

How did this movie get a wide release, above 700 theatres? One of the mysteries of the universe.

Flash of Genius, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Philip Railsback

Director: Marc Abraham

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A car company wants to screw over an inventor.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of church scene.

Fail of driving scene.

Ah…the sad life of middle class White people. Cry me a river.

Fail of lecture scenes throughout.

Good basement kids scene.

Decent office scene.

Fail of ballroom scene.

Fail of writing and directing. I don't know where this movie wants to go.

AD Skinner from the X-Files (Mitch Pileggi). F*ck me.

Fail of music content throughout.

Fail of breakdown scenes throughout.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of all trial scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Speed Racer, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Lana Wachowski, Lilly Wachowski

Director: Lana Wachowski, Lilly Wachowski

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to exploit race car drivers.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of animated scenes throughout.

Fail of race car scenes. Oh wait, this is pretty much the entire movie.

Fail of almost scenes. Too stupid.

Complete fail of writing.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Weird over the top characters.

Stupid funny movie. Terrible.

Reminds me of Cato and the Pink Panther scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $90 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Leatherheads, 2008: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Duncan Brantley, Rick Reilly

Director: George Clooney

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A reporter wants to expose a fake war hero.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by George Clooney as usual.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Football practice in front of a cow. Jokes.

Good initial George Clooney scene.

The music really helps to make this movie.

Good fight scene.

"Never stare directly into your face." Jokes.

Decent media office scenes throughout.

Fail of fast forward of scenes.

Good lobby scene.

Good train scene.

This movie passed on the strength of George Clooney’s acting.

Decent to good football scenes throughout.

Fail of past war scenes throughout.

Good bar scene.

Fail of jumping off scene.

Excellent night fight scene. Best scene of the movie.

Decent bar scene.

Decent office commissioner scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

I don't like sports, especially football, but it's a solid movie.

An American Carol, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: David Zucker, Myrna Sokoloff, Lewis Friedman

Director: David Zucker

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Terrorists wants to stop American hegemony in the Middle East.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Robert Davi.

Comments:

Good intro.

Leslie Neilson. Wow. What an honor.

Excellent hill scene.

That was his car? F*ck me. Jokes.

The guest worker program. Jokes.

Good terrorist video.

Good Cuba scene.

Good Michael Moore scenes throughout.

Fail of gala scene.

Good restaurant scene.

Fail of JFK scene.

Good mindless protest scene.

Kelsey Grammer. Wow.

A lot of big names in this movie. I wonder how big the budget is.

Fail of Nazi scene.

Fail of slavery scene.

Fail of university scene.

Fail of girl scene.

Fail of elevator scene.

Fail of interview scene.

Fail of radical Christian scenes.

Fail of acting scene.

The movie started strong but went downhill in the middle.

Fail of court scene.

Fail of ACLU scene.

Fail of George Washington scene.

Victoria's burka. Jokes.

Fail of forensic scene.

Good protest stage scene.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

It had potential to pass but fell short.

Mad Money, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Glenn Gers

Director: Callie Khouri

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A company wants to downsize and fire an employee.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Ted Danson. Nice to see you again. I loved you in A Fine Mess (1986).

Fail of living room scene.

Fail of HR scene.

Fail of interview scene.

Fail of federal reserve scenes.

Hey the guy from First Wave (Roger Cross). You keep getting these small roles. Kudos.

The wife is working and the deadbeat husband isn't. Kick him to the curb.

Fail of interrogation scenes throughout.

Fail of tour scene.

Fail of solution scene. Too stupid.

Who looks directly at the cameras?

Katie Holmes. Really?

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Fail of security scene.

Fail of bar scenes throughout.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of prep scenes.

Janitors have access to the cash vaults. Really?

Fail of wife/husband scenes throughout.

Hands on the breast. Could have been better.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Weak characters, fail of solution.

Fail of writing.

College, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Dan Callahan, Adam Ellison

Director: Deb Hagan

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A girl wants to go to breakup with her boyfriend.

Story: Relationships, Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of locker room scene.

Ah…slutty women who want to party in high school. And women wonder why men don't respect liberal sluts.

Good cafeteria talk scene.

Fail of camp scenes throughout.

Loser men who will still get laid because they're stupid and they drink. Lovely.

Ah…the lovely fraternity initiation scenes.

Fail of lesbian scene.

Fail of most scenes.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Should have been direct to video/streaming.

Mini me. Oh dear.

Fail of party scene.

Decent outdoor fight scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

The Express: The Ernie Davis Story, 2008: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Charles Leavitt

Director: Gary Fleder

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: White people want to suppress Black people.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro. No way he should have been able to escape.

Good dinner scene.

Sports as a means of equality. Sigh. Unfortunate but true.

Good slow motion football scene.

Good video scene.

Good dinner scene.

Good father coach scene.

Good training scenes throughout.

Dated a White girl. Jokes.

Good music content throughout.

Good football scenes throughout.

Good family dinner scene.

Good locker room fight scene.

Knocks him down after the play. Nice.

"White Christian? Jewish?" Jokes.

Good team fight scene.

Good speech scene.

Good bus street scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Less than $10 million at the box office. Really? I hate sports and I’d even admit that this movie should have made more money at the box office. The fact that it didn't proves that God does NOT exist.

Witless Protection, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Charles Robert Carner

Director: Charles Robert Carner

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Larry the Cable Guy. Oh dear god.

Fail of intro.

Using the rocky soundtrack isn't free.

Fail of barn scene.

Fail of diner scene.

Fail of drive scene.

Fail of gas station scene.

Fail of chase scene.

Fail of phone scene.

Fail of explanation scene.

Fail of all FBI scenes throughout.

Fail of motel scenes throughout.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Fail of airport scene. Too stupid.

A fear fart. Jokes.

Backs into the agents. Jokes.

Fail of doctor scene.

Fail of funeral scene.

Fail of polo scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Complete fail of writing, acting, directing.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made only $4 million proves that God DOES exist.

Beverly Hills Chihuahua, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Analisa LaBianco, Jeff Bushell

Director: Raja Gosnell

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A woman wants someone to take care of her dog.

Story: Relationships, Character, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Good voice acting but not enough to pass for a live action.

Fail of Andy Garcia’s voice acting. Not the right voice actor for the role.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Ah…the life of rich White people. Sigh.

Good initial animal scene.

Fail of pool talk scene.

Fail of women complaining scene.

Fail of male dog scenes throughout.

Rich White women going to Mexico. Really? People would be bidding to kill them like in Hostel (2005) minutes after they crossed the border.

Fail of real plot.

Fail of kidnapping scene.

Good cage talk scene.

Fail of gardener guy scenes throughout.

José María Yazpik from Narcos. Wow. I thought that was you.

Fail of dog fight scene.

Fail of escape scene.

Pretending to be the dog on the phone. Jokes. Best scene of the movie.

Fail of German shepherd scenes throughout.

Fail of bad guy scenes throughout.

Good hotel dog scene.

Fail of dog street scene.

Decent museum scene.

Fail of rat scenes.

Fail of train scene.

Fail of bath scene.

Fail of mountain scenes.

Fail of Chihuahua group scene.

Fail of dog fight scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Meet The Browns, 2008: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Tyler Perry

Director: Tyler Perry

Dialogue: Pass

"LB what's wrong with you?" "You want to go in? There's room for you too you know." Decent line, excellent delivery.

Plot: An employer wants to shut down a warehouse.

Story: Ambition, Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of bus scene.

Ah…the crush of life.

Good basketball scene.

Good building talk scene.

Good daycare scene.

Good wife ex husband scene.

Good car scene.

Gospel gangster. Jokes.

Good family scenes throughout.

Good church scene.

Excellent funeral scene. Best scene of the movie.

Good house scene.

Good deal scene.

Good hospital scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

One of the few passable Tyler Perry movies.

Cadillac Records, 2008: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Darnell Martin

Director: Darnell Martin

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Two men want a better life.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good house recording scene.

Good street playing scenes throughout.

Good gun scene.

Good recording scenes throughout.

Good travelling scenes throughout.

Ah…the life of fame.

Good cop scene.

Good stage police scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Untraceable, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Robert Fyvolent, Mark Brinker, Allison Burnett

Director: Gregory Hoblit

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to kill people online.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Good acting by Joseph Cross.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Fail of office scenes throughout. Boring.

Good kill scenes throughout.

Fail of investigation scenes throughout.

Good house scene.

Weak characters. Fail of writing.

Boring FBI scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Cheering for her. Oh dear.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Nobel Son, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Randall Miller, Jody Savin

Director: Randall Miller

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to kidnap a guy.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Alan Rickman. Wow. Rest in peace sir.

Fail of sex scene.

Screwing the professor. Oh…she's a victim. I don't think the MeToo movement would approve.

Fail of lecture scene.

Ted Danson. Wow.

Fail of gala scene.

Eliza Dushka. Wow.

Fail of poetry scene.

Fail of sex scene.

Fail of tone to movie. Fail of directing.

Fail of hotel scenes.

Danny Devito. Wow.

Fail of kidnap scenes throughout.

Fail of mall scene.

Fail of investigative scenes throughout.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

10,000 BC, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Roland Emmerich, Harald Kloser

Director: Roland Emmerich

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Bad people want to capture slaves.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of native local scenes.

Blue-eyed girl as the key. Of course. Gotta show the superiority of White people. Lovely.

Fail of child scenes.

Hunting mammoths. Burn in hell.

Fail of mammoth scene.

Fail of attack scene.

Fail of forest scene.

Fail of tiger scenes throughout.

Fail of shaman scenes throughout.

Good aerial shots throughout.

Only the light skinned Black man can lead the dark skinned. Of course. Well done Hollywood. Love that subtle racism.

Fail of most scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Cloverfield, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Drew Goddard

Director: Matt Reeves

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Alien creatures want to kill people.

Story: Survival, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

I hate found footage film. Just terrible.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of most scenes. Too stupid.

Fail of night scene.

Fail of military scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Found footage movies should never get a wide release. Too stupid and cheap. Should be direct to video/streaming.

Quarantine, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: John Erick Dowdle, Drew Dowdle

Director: John Erick Dowdle

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Something wants to infect people.

Story: Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Boring scenes.

Recording a live fire event. What? Really?

Fail of apartment scene.

Fail of most scenes.

Fail of quarantine scenes throughout.

Are these people really this stupid?

They haven't seen enough Hollywood movies to know that the military has to contain the scene?

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Always nice to see how cheap Hollywood can be in their horror movies. Should have been direct to video/streaming.

Why would I want to watch a movie about people panicking?

The Strangers, 2008: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Bryan Bertino

Director: Bryan Bertino

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Strangers want to kill a couple.

Story: Relationships, Survival

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good car scene.

Good wedding reception scene.

Good tone to movie.

Good home scenes throughout.

Good outside scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Good writing, directing, acting.

Doomsday, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Neil Marshall

Director: Neil Marshall

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: People want to survive a deadly virus.

Story: Survival, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of narration throughout.

Fail of boat scene.

Hey the guy from Star Trek: DS9 and Game of Thrones (Alexander Siddig). Nice to see you again.

Fail of board talk scene.

Fail of solution scene.

Fail of car talk scene.

Killing a rabbit. Too cruel.

Fail of team briefing scene.

Fail of most scenes.

Fail of music content throughout.

Fail of interrogation scene.

Fail of stage scene.

Fail of all scenes.

Complete fail of writing, directing.

Men in armor on horseback. Oh dear.

Fail of zealot scenes throughout.

What is this, 300?

Fail of pit fighting scene.

Fail of car scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $25 million proves that God DOES exist.

Appaloosa, 2008: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Robert Knott, Ed Harris

Director: Ed Harris

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A group of people wants to harass a town.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of solution.

Fail of bar scenes throughout.

Fail of negotiation scene.

Black and white western. Oh dear.

Good colt b*tch slap scene.

Fail of most scenes. Boring.

Fail of outdoor scenes throughout.

Fail of writing.

Fail of court scene.

"Goddamn Natives." Oh dear.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Fireproof, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Alex Kendrick, Stephen Kendrick

Director: Alex Kendrick

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A wife wants a better life.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Kirk Cameron's acting. Terrible.

Comments:

Decent intro.

A girl and her wedding dream? Oh dear.

Fail of fire house talk scene.

Fail of hospital scene.

Fail of parents scene.

Fail of breakfast scene.

Fail of gym scene.

Fail of all house scenes throughout.

Fail of every scene with Kirk Cameron.

Fail of friends talk scenes throughout.

Fail of cinematography throughout.

Fail of train scene.

Fail of all scenes.

Complete fail of writing, directing, acting.

A Christian movie. Yah, that explains everything.

40 days. Oh dear.

Fail of all bible scenes throughout.

Fail of hot sauces scenes.

Fail of fire scene.

Fail of Gavin confrontation scene.

"Tired feeling empty." Oh dear.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $30 million proves that God does NOT exist, which is ironic since it's a Christian movie.

Kudos to the $500K budget. Which means that the actors were getting paid next to nothing.

Hamlet 2, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Andrew Fleming, Pam Brady

Director: Andrew Fleming

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A school wants to cancel drama class.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of bench scene.

Fail of home scene.

Fail of class scenes throughout. Just terrible.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of fertility scene.

Fail of all scenes.

Fail of writing, directing, acting.

Fail of police scene.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

How did this movie get a wide release?

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $5 million proves that God DOES exist.

Prom Night, 2008: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Joseph S. Cardone

Director: Nelson McCormick

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to be with a student.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good therapist scene.

Decent prom scenes throughout.

Good flashback scene.

And the cop didn't just go rogue and kill him. Really?

Fail of elevator scene.

Good tone to movie, but fail of plot. Everything moving too fast.

Fail of hotel death scenes throughout.

I hope this movie didn't cost too much money to make.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Fail of writing.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

My Best Friend's Girl, 2008: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jordan Cahan

Director: Howard Deutch

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A woman wants to break up with her boyfriend.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Dane Cook. He was born for this role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good bar scene. Jokes.

Fail of slow motion bar scene.

Liberal sluts. Gotta love them. The best of feminism. And feminists wonder why men don't respect women.

Good restaurant scene.

Good plot.

Good date scenes throughout.

Liberal women make it so easy to manipulate them.

Good bathroom scene.

Good call centre scene.

Good training call scene.

Good hairdresser scene.

Good house confrontation scene.

Good lecture scene.

Good father/son talk scene.

Good bar scene.

Good confrontation scene.

Good climax scene.

Fail of ending.

The Family that Preys, 2008: FAIL

Unknown (most likely Commercial Success)

Writer: Tyler Perry

Director: Tyler Perry

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A woman wants to get married.

Story: Relationships, Family, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Decent wedding scene.

Fail of diner scene.

Fail of white couple scene.

Fail of mother scenes throughout.

Fail of church scene.

Ah yes, Black people and their Jesus savior. But if they had faith in Jesus to hold wrongdoers accountable in the afterlife, the Black Lives Matter wouldn't have been created in the first place.

Fail of family scenes throughout.

Boring movie.

Fail of writing.

Fail of boardroom scene.

Living on debt. Lovely. The American dream.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of road trip scenes throughout.

The cheating wife. Lovely.

Fail of office talk scene.

Married people having affairs as if it's the norm. Lovely.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, 2008: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Doug Taylor

Director: Uwe Boll

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue.

Plot: A man wants to usurp the king.

Story: Ambition, Ethics,

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters. Oh dear god.

Acting: Fail

Complete fail of all acting. Oh dear god.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

The characters name is Farmer. Oh dear god.

Can Hollywood writers just stop. For the love of god, jumping off a cliff may be more beneficial than your sh*tty Hollywood scripts.

Terrible music content.

At least they threw in one Black supporting actor. And then one supporting of the supporting. That counts for something.

Tree fairy people. Oh dear god. And people wonder why the North American box office revenue is down.

"Thanks to you the kingdom may be lost." And the conspiracy against Women continues.

The Conspiracy Against Women

Wow, that magic head keeps getting cut off.

Nice Mordor imitation.

"A magus' power is contingent on his service to his king." Good Illuminati line. A method for keeping the Illuminati hierarchy in place and keep all the families from killing each other.

Last of his power to her? So the power is given and not earned like all other male characters? And the conspiracy against women looks like empowerment but really it’s disempowerment.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Complete fail of writing and directing.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made only $13 million proves that God DOES exist.