Hollywood Movie Review Series:

*Movies are in no particular order. Please use Crtl F on your keyboard to find a particular movie. Movies that got a wide release in the year after their first screening are listed in the next year. For example, 300 (2006) is listed in 2007 because it only got a wide release in 2007.

*Don't worry about spoilers. You can read the review of any movie without being afraid of spoilers and enjoy the movie if you watch it. I intentionally made sure not to ruin a movie by revealing a hidden plot or hidden climax scene. I simply pass or fail each scene and comment on them.

Jack and Jill, 2011: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Steve Koren, Adam Sandler

Director: Dennis Dugan

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Clients wants celebrities for their commercials.

Story: Family, Character, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent real life twins intro. Very well done.

Good production scenes throughout.

Good twin scenes throughout. The comedy works. Weird, but it works.

Good homes scenes throughout.

Excellent The Price is Right scene. Well done.

Decent Jill immigrant family scenes throughout.

Al Pacino losing it on stage because of the cell phone. Jokes.

Good workout scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.
------------------------------------------

Red Riding Hood, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: David Leslie Johnson

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

Dialogue: Fail

Weak dialogue in hunting wolf. The correct line after "I'm wrong for you" is "...but I'm right for you." Instead of "I don't care." Corny lines by wolf slayer.

Plot: A wolf wants to kill people.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Weak acting all around.

Comments:

Intro as a child for 3 minutes was useless.

Narration shouldn't continue after the beginning.

Fail of jump in time. No emotional investment.

Weak main and sub characters.

I didn't expect the wolf to have those skills. Interesting twist.

Looks like the scenes are being made up as they go. Fail of writing.

The wolf slayer chasing/trying to recapture the sacrifice through the town. Seriously?

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

The sex leads nowhere. Terrible. Garbage writing.

The Change-Up, 2011: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jon Lucas, Scott Moore

Director: David Dobkin

Dialogue: Pass

"Now you put your thumb up nice lady's butthole or else maybe you have an accident on set," Good line, fail in delivery.

"What's with the heavy breathing...are you jerking off?" Decent line, good delivery.

Plot: Two friends want a better life.

Story: Purpose

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Oh…the babies are so cute and lovable.

Excellent father/children scenes throughout.

Fail of bar scene.

Stupid solution but the acting works.

Good lawyer meeting scene.

Decent production scene.

Good dinner scene.

Pregnant sex. Jokes.

Excellent bedroom/bathroom scene.

Good elevator scene.

Daughter throwing the other girl on stage. Jokes.

Good date scene.

Ah…the slutty lawyer. Well done feminists.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

This movie shouldn't have cost $52 million to make.

Green Lantern, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Greg Berlanti, Michael Green, Marc Guggenheim, Michael Goldenberg

Director: Martin Campbell

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A bad alien wants revenge on good aliens.

Story: Purpose, Character, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters, oh dear god.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Ryan Reynolds’ acting. Disappointing.

Comments:

Fail of intro explanation.

No fear. That usually leads to sociopath or psychopath ambitions. Powerfully stupid.

Fail of prisoner escape scene. Doesn’t make sense.

Fail of all alien scenes. The body suits look terrible.

Movie relies too heavily on special effects.

Fast planes and beautiful White women. Ah…Hollywood knows it's audience.

Fail of all plane scenes.

Taking unnecessary risks. And the ring chooses him. Really?

Would have been nice if intro narration was made into a separate movie, without the heavy special effects.

Fail of all council/guardian scenes.

Fail of examination scenes.

Ah…the token Black woman. I was beginning to wonder.

Biologist infected bad energy. Oh dear.

Nice alien body scan scenes.

Fail of alien speech scene.

Fail of lantern training. Too corny.

Fail of all professor scenes.

Fail of party scene.

A lot of wasted comedy potential in this movie.

Fail of lab fight scene.

Interesting forging of ring scene.

Fail of climax fight scene.

Nice yellow flash of bones/death/fear scene.

Fail of ending.

Fail of post-credit scene.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Captain America: The First Avenger, 2011: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely

Director: Joe Johnston

Dialogue: Fail

Corny dialogue throughout.

"If you have something to say, right now is the perfect time to keep it to yourself." Excellent line and delivery.

Plot: A mad German scientist wants to rule the world.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Excellent Red Skull character.

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Chris Evans.

Excellent acting by Hugo Weaving.

Excellent acting by Tommy Lee Jones as usual.

Excellent acting by Hayley Atwell.

Comments:

Good intro.

Like all marvel movies, the Illuminati/deep state symbolism/programs are quite evident. The tree of life housing gift of the gods. When the church laymen says it's not for the eyes of ordinary men, they men you, the viewer.

The gifts of the gods: immortality, psychic power, power…will not be given to humans. The Illuminati have conditioned the masses to see such things as the “dark side.” Oh dear.

Excellent initial enlistment scene.

Hidden high up in the mountains. Yup, that's the special Illuminati base. That and underneath national parks.

Nazis vs. the Allies? That's just the surface image. In reality it's Illuminati families vs. one another. Soldiers, countries, and governments just carry out the programs.

Excellent training scene.

Got beat up in the alley. Jokes.

Decent transformation scene.

Good hydra shot.

Good theater scenes.

Good breakout scene.

Beautiful cars. Well done art department.

Excellent testing scene.

Fail of multiple successful mission scenes.

Good interrogation scene.

Fail of corny music.

Good climax scene.

Good end resolution.

Excellent ending.

Not the best movie, but solid overall.

X-Men: First Class, 2011: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Ashley Edward Miller, Zack Stentz, Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn

Director: Matthew Vaughn

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A mutant wants revenge.

Story: Ambition, Equality, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Michael Fassbender as usual.

Fail of Kevin Bacon’s acting.

Excellent acting by James McAvoy.

Fail of Rose Byrne’s acting.

Fail of January Jones’ acting.

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Kevin Bacon. Nice to see you.

Excellent Magneto/Xavier growing up contrast scenes.

Weak teenage magneto scenes, but…I’ll give it a pass.

Good French office scene.

"The nuclear age may have accelerated mutant evolution." Oh dear.

I was wondering when they were going to introduce the Emma Frost group.

Very weird diamond look.

Fail of missile strategy scene.

Excellent music content throughout.

Excellent bar scene.

Excellent writing, directing, music, cinematography, and acting overall.

Good CIA scene.

Excellent boat scene.

Excellent Charles/Eric scenes throughout.

Good beta version of cerebro.

Fail of house training scenes.

Good mansion op scene.

Fail of house attack scene.

Always the Black one to go first. Yup, sounds about right for Hollywood.

Good training scenes.

Excellent chess scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Fail of Magneto look in the end.

One of the best X-Men movies...and with 4 writers. Impressive.

Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides, 2011: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio

Director: Rob Marshall

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue throughout.

"Does this face look like it's been to the fountain of youth?" Excellent line, fail in delivery.

"The fountain of youth." "Dearest Angelica, fret not, you still have a few usable years left." Excellent line and delivery.

Plot: Spanish govt wants the fountain of youth.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Fail of Keith Richards' acting.

Excellent acting by Johnny Depp as usual.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Fail of court scene. Powerfully stupid.

Good horse carriage scene.

Fail of royal meeting scene.

UK vs. Spain. I'm sure the rivalry flourished in the past. But it's nonsense today.

Good escape scene.

Ah…pirates treating women like sexual objects. And feminists wonder why men don't respect women.

Good sparrow vs. sparrow fight.

Decent gallows scene.

Good sparrow ship scenes throughout.

Fail of UK ship scene.

Good music content throughout.

Garbage chalkboard dialogue. But the characters and acting is good.

Made by the English. Let's not get our hopes up. Jokes.

Good mermaid scene.

Good island scenes throughout.

Fail of pistol scene.

Decent ship sliding scene.

Fail of sparrow/Hektor scene.

Fail of pig chalices scene. Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of climax scene.

Ah…representatives of govt always trying to claim virgin land. As it is below on the Earth, the same will be true above in space/planets. Humanity among the stars. A terrible fate for the universe.

Excellent ending for cleric.

Fail of ending.

Barely passable. We've come a long way from the earlier POTC movies.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Ehren Kruger

Director: Michael Bay

Dialogue: Fail

Complete failure of all dialogue.

Plot: Bad alien robots want to take over the Earth.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Fail of girlfriend character.

Fail of NSA director character.

Fail of Sentinel character.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent space scenes.

Fail of White House scenes.

Excellent drilling worm battle scene.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

So many new robot characters. Difficult to care about them or learn their names.

Fail of main character problem. Too unbelievable. Dumb interviews.

Fail of S7 secret info plot.

Megatron scenes don't make scene.

Excellent bathroom scene.

Fail of car/gate freak out scene. Lazy writing.

Fail of govt official talk scenes.

Arguing in front of the humans. That just looks bad.

Excellent bumblebee scene and boss.

Excellent bar scene. Well done.

Fail of highway scene.

Fail of all Sentinel scenes throughout.

Doesn't make sense that autobots don't have access to classified intelligence.

Fail of elite family scenes. Nice try, but doesn't work. Could have worked with a better writer though.

Fail of all NSA director scenes.

Fail of manipulation scenes.

Fail of city takeover scenes.

Decepticons couldn't see the truth. Really?

Decent pre-climax scene with the worm robot.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of Megatron talk scene. Too unbelievable.

Fail of ending.

Just to note, the Transformers series is very pro-gun. I don't see many liberals looking at Hollywood to blame though. I don't see many liberals blaming Obama's approval/interpretation allowing bump stocks on semi-automatics making it a defacto automatic. Just saying.

Kellyanne Conway Blames Obama for Not Regulating Bump Stocks

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Steve Kloves

Director: David Yates

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: An evil wizard wants to kill a teenaged boy.

Story: Ethics, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of Draco character.

Good development of Longbottom character.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of school intro.

Good room talk scene.

Fail of wand issue. It would have been better to introduce this issue earlier in the series.

Ah…the poor dragon and Pavlovian conditioning.

Always nice to see the Jews...I mean the elves managing the bank. Well done Hollywood. I don’t make the stereotypes. I’m just pointing them out.

Fail of dragon scene.

Fail of brother scene.

Fail of school scene/confrontation. Lazy writing.

Shouldn't the students and teachers know who killed Dumbledore from the last movie?

Fail of Snape scene. Lazy writing.

Fail of other school scenes.

Fail of ghost solution.

Weak battle scene.

Fail of Malfoy scene.

Decent music with battle scenes, but didn't work for brother scene.

Fail of Voldemort want realization scene.

Decent recap of entire plot through memory. But Harry should have been able to figure it out through his connection with Voldemort.

Excellent forest ghost scene.

Decent vision scene.

Fail of Voldemort pre-climax scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, 2011: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Josh Appelbaum, Andre Nemec

Director: Brad Bird

Dialogue: Pass

"Did you jump?" "Should I not have jumped? Cuz I jumped." Decent line, excellent delivery.

Plot: A terrorist group wants to launch a nuclear weapon.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Fail of Josh Holloway’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Hey, the woman from the garbage 2015 Bond Spectre movie (Léa Seydoux).

Excellent jail scenes.

Excellent waiting camera scene.

They can't even open their own doors? Gotta love technology.

Excellent credit multiple clip scene.

Shot in the neck. Very well done.

Excellent writing and acting so far.

Interesting contact lens searching mode. I'm sure one day it'll be sold to consumers when the 5G network is running smoothly maybe in 2023.

Excellent phone booth scene.

Good Kremlin infiltration scene.

Excellent camouflage screen scene. Very well done.

Excellent smoking observation jumping scene.

Good van talk scene.

Excellent train running scene.

Good Dubai aerial shot/city contrast scene.

Fail of music for Dubai intro scene.

Excellent running downward on hotel windows.

Good hotel scenes.

Running with a cloud of dust on you. Well done.

Decent past story scene.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Decent plane strategy scene.

Good party scene.

Nice to see a Bollywood star.

Excellent pre-jump scene.

Good pre-climax scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Cowboys & Aliens, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, Damon Lindelof, Mark Fergus, Hawk Ostby

Director: Jon Favreau

Dialogue: Fail

Complete failure of all dialogue.

Plot: Aliens want to experiment on humans and steal gold.

Story: Ethics, Survival

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Daniel Craig’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of fight scene.

Fail of all town scenes throughout.

Fail of idiot shooting everywhere scene.

Fail of bar scene.

On some movies, minimal dialogue is great. This isn't one of those movies.

And…queue the bad aliens.

Fail of all scenes. Complete garbage.

Powerfully stupid movie.

Fail of writing, directing, acting.

Nice to see an Aboriginal actor in the movie.

Fail of flashback scenes.

Fail of alien ship scenes.

The guy with the big guns. Oh dear.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00 The fact that it made almost $200 million proves that God does NOT exist.

5 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes, 2011: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver

Director: Rupert Wyatt

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Scientists want to cure Alzheimer’s disease.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Daniel Craig’s acting.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good lab scenes throughout.

A drug that makes people super smart. Powerfully stupid, but…

Good ape home scenes throughout.

Excellent animal facility scenes throughout.

I wonder how many apes, dogs, cats, and horses have died for human experimentation. Incalculable.

Excellent Cesar closing gate scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

The Green Hornet, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg

Director: Michel Gondry

Dialogue: Fail

Complete failure of all dialogue.

Plot: An old crime lord wants to maintain his standing.

Story: Character, Ambition, Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Absolute failure of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Fail of James Franco’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro. Beginning past scene not necessary.

Fail office scene.

No one frisks him for a gun. Oh dear.

Good slow motion club explosion.

A newspaper mogul and luxury lifestyle. Ah…the glory days of mainstream media outlets.

Fail of practically every scene.

Fail of funeral scene.

Good coffee scene though. The beauty of stainless steel and aluminum.

A brilliant Chinese martial artist that can build anything. Sigh.

Kudos to the self-inflating tire.

I guess they wanted to give Kato a sharingan (from Naruto TV series) but couldn't.

Fail of all fight scenes and cinematography of fight scenes.

Fail of night office scene.

Crime is down in LA? Sorry, but that's beyond suspension of disbelief. And have you seen the homeless situation in LA? Oh dear god. Liberal policies at its best.

High rate of crime in Los Angeles

California police sergeant rips Gov. Newsom for denying crime spike: He's living in a 'fantasy world'

San Francisco confronts surging crime, drugs and homelessness as it tries to bounce back from Covid-19

California poverty liberal contradiction

California has a reputation for progressive politics. Don't tell that to the state's progressives

Fail of all crime lord scene.

Superhero email. Oh dear. The writers just didn't give a f*ck. And clearly, the director, producer and studios didn't give a f*ck either. Hollywood garbage at its best.

Fail of house fight scene.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of all drug lord scenes.

Fail of climax scene. But good car in elevator shot. Well done.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that is made over $200 million proves that God does NOT exist.

When garbage movies make over $100 million, it's very difficult to take the audience seriously.

Madea's Big Happy Family, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Tyler Perry

Director: Tyler Perry

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A mother wants to tell the family about her cancer.

Story: Family, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Fail of ungrateful daughter character.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of animated intro.

Good hospital scene.

Fail of drive through scene.

Fail of house scene.

Too many subplots.

Fail of talk outside house scene.

Fail of Medea house scene.

"Living for God is the bright side." Oh dear.

Fail of other couple scene.

Fail of couple night scene.

Good mother angry daughter scene.

Fail of all Medea house scenes.

Good car auto shop scene.

Fail of real estate scene.

Black men knocking up messed up women. Yup, sounds about right.

Fail of family scene.

Good kitchen scene.

Good woman on soap opera.

Fail of house/street scene.

Fail of funeral scene.

Only God is the answer for all the pain in a Black household. Yup, sounds about right.

Fail of after funeral speech scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of talk show ending.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules, 2011: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Jeff Judah, Gabe Sachs

Director: David Bowers

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A mother wants her sons to get along.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Fail of rollerblading scene.

Excellent parent embarrassment scene.

Good narration throughout.

Paying with fake money. Jokes.

Fail of classroom scene.

Fail van scene.

Good church embarrassment scenes.

Decent party scene.

What was the music clearance bill for this movie?

Excellent note scene.

Reading his journal. Jokes. That's why you need to burn all your past journals because they’ll be used against you in the future.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Fast Five, 2011: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Chris Morgan

Director: Justin Lin

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue from Dominic Toretto character.

Plot: A crime boss wants to control a city.

Story: Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting all around.

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent brazil scenes throughout.

Good train theft scene.

Excellent offloading scene.

Good crime boss office scene.

Excellent govt attack scene.

Good investigative scenes throughout.

Decent plot, but the solid acting from Dwayne Johnson really passed this movie.

Good drug hit scenes throughout.

Good bathroom scene.

Women as sex objects showing off cars. Well done Hollywood. I'm sure these women are so empowered.

Excellent beach scene.

Decent standoff scene.

Good truck attack scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Good ending.

Thor, 2011: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Ashley Edward Miller, Zack Stentz, Don Payne

Director: Kenneth Branagh

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue throughout.

Plot: An alien species wants to rule a kingdom.

Story: Ethics, Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Characters with their sh*tty costumes are garbage.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Ah…White savior gods. Thank goodness. I was beginning to worry.

Decent past war scenes.

Excellent Asgard/space special effects.

Fail of all palace scenes. The costumes look terrible. I can't shake it.

Ah…the Black security guard. $10.00/hr?

Fail of first major battle scene.

Fail of palace scene.

Good hospital scene.

Excellent comedy from regular human group. But the Asgard scenes kill it.

Good hammer retrieval scenes.

Fail of all palace scenes/past child scene.

Good coffee shop scene.

Fail of palace scene.

Good break-in hammer scenes.

Fail of interrogation scene.

Fail of frozen world scenes.

And Xena-like warriors in bad costumes walking on the streets. Oh dear.

Fail of pre-climax fight scene.

Fail of climax fight scene.

Good ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

The Mechanic, 2011: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Lewis John Carlino, Richard Wenk

Director: Simon West

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A hit team wants to kill a traitor.

Story: Character, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of cafe talk scene.

And…he does her like a pro. I didn’t see him asking for consent though. That's a big no no in the mind of the MeToo movement.

Fail of air strip scene.

Good underground parking kill scene.

Everything goes downhill from there.

Nice training scenes but pointless.

Fail of boss guy scenes throughout.

Fail of book signing scene.

Good action scenes, but no real plot other than kill person X.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Statham character should have known.

When will Hollywood learn that Jason Statham playing the same role in every move won't work.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Melissa Rosenberg

Director: Bill Condon

Dialogue: Fail

Weak dialogue.

Plot: A vampire wants to turn his partner into a vampire.

Story: Relationships, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good invitation intro.

Tarps on the roof of native house. Well done. Sadly, that’s correct. Shame the supposed natives aren't really natives at all. They’re Asian or Filipino. But…I’ll take it as a win for visible minorities.

Good house scenes.

Excellent flashbacks scenes.

Decent wedding scene. A bit too melodramatic.

Good wedding prep scenes.

Good after party wedding talk scenes.

Fail of Jacob tension scene. Stop acting like a p*ssy and accept it.

Good brazil scenes.

Fail of beach native scene.

Good house scene.

Fail of wolves call/talking scene.

Fail of real plot. Doesn't make sense.

Make a final decision already.

Fail of night Leah/Jake talk scene.

Fail of Edward Bella blowup. Doesn't make sense.

Fail of writing.

Fail of Jake character throughout. Fail of writing.

Terrible dialogue.

Fail of night chase/talk scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Excellent ending, but not enough to pass garbage writing.

Super 8, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: J. J. Abrams

Director: J. J. Abrams

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: US military wants to capture a creature.

Story: Relationships, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of most kids scenes before things go bad.

Excellent special effects for train crash scene. Well done.

Good car scene.

Excellent cinematography.

Plot is too unbelievable. Too stupid. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of all military scenes.

Fail of old film scenes throughout.

Fail of all scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

This movie shouldn't have made over $250 million. But it's J.J. Abrams, so...

Unknown, 2011: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Oliver Butcher, Stephen Cornwell

Director: Jaume Collet-Serra

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Someone wants to steal a man's identity.

Story: Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting from Bruno Ganz.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good accident scene.

Good hotel scenes throughout.

Decent confusion scenes throughout.

Good hospital scene.

Excellent old man talk scenes throughout.

Excellent assassin hit scenes throughout.

Good chase scene.

Excellent old men talking scene.

Excellent realization scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Sucker Punch, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Zack Snyder, Steve Shibuya

Director: Zack Snyder

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to get rid of his daughter.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good use of scenes instead of narration. Well done.

Good mental psych scenes throughout.

Good ballet throughout.

Interesting creativity in storytelling.

Fail of Japanese sword guy scene.

A lot of terrible scenes. Fail of writing.

Excellent cinematography.

Fail of war scene.

How much was the music clearance bill for this movie?

Fail of all scenes. It was going well at first. Shame.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Spy Kids 4: All of the Time in the World, 2011: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Robert Rodriguez, Elizabeth Avellan

Director: Robert Rodriguez

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A terrorist wants to speed up time.

Story: Family, Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Jessica Alba. So many movies prior to her exile from Hollywood.

Fail of chase scene. Too stupid.

Fail of all characters.

Fail of all home scenes. Is this supposed to be comedy?

Fail of home attack/escape scene.

Fail of all OSS scenes.

The old actors/characters don't work.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Contagion, 2011: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Scott Z. Burns

Director: Steven Soderbergh

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: People want to stop a global virus.

Story: Survival

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters throughout.

Acting: Pass

Good acting overall.

Comments:

Excellent intro multiple scenes.

Fail of journalist scene.

Ah…doctors who can't diagnose sh*t. Lovely.

Excellent scenes throughout.

Excellent music content.

I'm sure this and biowarfare will become a reality soon enough in the 21st century. This movie was reviewed pre-COVID.

Story is moving a bit slow but it’s understandable.

A Rogue doctor who's smarter than everyone else. Okay there.

Good stadium scene.

A regular RNA virus. Yah right. The mutation rate is potentially exponential. Just like COVID in 2021.

Decent flashback scenes.

Fail of Asian plot.

Containment of information. Yup, sounds about right, especially in China in real life for COVID.

Good panic scenes throughout.

And the body bags…

Conspiracy theorist works. But could have been better.

Officials only telling their families. Yup, sounds about right.

Good use of multiple scenes and music content.

And the rioting begins. One good reason to have an underground bomb shelter, canned food for at least a year, and a ham radio. You think millionaires and billionaires don't have this stuff? You're dreaming.

Billionaire bunkers: How the 1% are preparing for the apocalypse

Billionaire Bunkers: Exclusive Look Inside the World's Largest Planned Doomsday Escape

Doomsday Prep for the Super-Rich

How New Zealand became an apocalypse escape destination for Americans

How super-rich Americans fled to New Zealand to stay in their lavish doomsday survival shelters during coronavirus crisis

Who do you think will be left from mass biowarfare? The asshole millionaires and billionaires from Silicon Valley and Wall Street. Which means patriarchal rule of course.

Tough to be a parent with a teenage daughter and mass biowarfare.

Arresting a conspiracy theorist? That’s the worst move a society can do before or during a mass panic.

Excellent origin ending.

What's the lesson? Never shake hands with an Asian chef in China. Ha ha ha. Too cruel. Lesson: wash your hands with soap for a few seconds or use anti-bacterial hand sanitizer. It’s not rocket science.

Battle Los Angeles, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Chris Bertolini

Director: Jonathan Liebesman

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Extraterrestrials want to destroy humanity.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Aaron Eckhart’s acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

1 minute in and they’re the last force. Really?

Fail of office scene.

Fail of bridal guy

Fail of talk scene.

So many random soldiers that I can’t keep track of them.

Fail of prep scenes.

Fail of staff sergeant scenes throughout. Wrong actor for the role.

Military get off on seeing themselves on TV. Almost like the Wikileaks war porn video. Just die already.

WikiLeaks VIDEO Exposes 2007 'Collateral Murder' In Iraq

Fail of helicopter scene.

Fail of military prep scenes throughout.

Good street attack scene.

Fail of pool scene.

Boring scenes throughout. Yes, they’re struggling. I got it.

Fail of freak-out scene.

Fail of CNN scene.

Fail of alien killing scene.

Perhaps she can mend his wounded heart. Lovely.

Fail of most street scenes.

Fail of honesty scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

I'm sure military vets loved this movie. But most people can't relate.

How many Illuminati movies do we need of aliens coming to destroy humanity and the American military as the heroes? Classic propaganda.

Steven Greer UFO Conspiracy Theorist

A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg

Director: Todd Strauss-Schulson

Dialogue: Fail

"I am gay...gay for that p*ssy." Excellent line and delivery.

Plot: A father in-law wants to have traditional Christmas.

Story: Character, Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of parking garage scene.

Boss giving employees personal tasks. Unions frown on those kinds of things.

White people throwing eggs at an Asian guy in a suit. Yah…that wouldn't happen. Even angry White people aren't that stupid.

Fail of almost all house scenes throughout.

Fail of apartment scene.

Fail of almost all scenes.

30 minutes and I'm still waiting for the comedy.

Fail of tree plot. Too stupid.

Fail of solution scenes throughout.

Fail of party scenes throughout. Too stupid. Wasted comedy potential.

Sneezing cocaine at a baby. Holy f*ck. Guy. Even though it's not real…but still. The idiot generation knows no bounds for imitation.

Fail of animation scene.

Fail of theater scene.

Fail of all waffle scenes throughout. Too stupid. This movie should have been direct to video/streaming.

Fail of superfast baby scene.

Good climax scene. But not enough to pass.

Decent ending.

30 Minutes or Less, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Michael Diliberti

Director: Ruben Fleischer

Dialogue: Fail

"You want to f*ck my sister don't you? Ah…my twin sister? Which is like f*cking me." Excellent line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A father wants a son to grow up.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting.

Comments:

Good intro.

Decent car make out scene. Ah…Aziz Ansari before his MeToo scandal.

Babe.net's Aziz Ansari story sexual misconduct

Just because feminists and crazy liberals in the MeToo movement can't differentiate you from Bill Cosby or Harvey Weinstein doesn't mean that real men can't. Keep your head high and move forward sir.

Fail of two idiot scenes.

Fail of father scene.

Fail of dinner scene.

Fail of strip scene.

Fail of guys talk scene throughout.

Fail of both plots. Too stupid.

Fail of writing.

Fail of kidnapping scene.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of teaching scene.

And now we have the Latino. Oh dear.

Fail of car scene.

Fail of robbery scene.

Fail of rooftop scene.

Fail of bank robbery scene.

Fail of cop scene.

You can't deal with a lady on top of you? Really?

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of father house scene. Powerfully stupid.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

50/50, 2011: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Will Reiser

Director: Jonathan Levine

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to deal with his cancer diagnosis.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Excellent coffee scene.

Good work scene.

Good diagnosis scene.

Decent girlfriend scene.

Good counselor scenes throughout.

Smart people today wouldn't get chemo if their life depended on it. They'd start with medical marijuana/cannabis oil. Even if you’re going to die, at least you died without being on toxic pharmaceutical drugs and without pain.

Sad to see the older generation conditioned to trust their doctors and go on chemo and radiation. But everyone has to make their own choices. But not when it comes to abortion. Joking. Not really. I’m a 3rd trimester pro-lifer. Decide in the first or second trimester. After that, take some f*cking some responsibility for your actions.

Good hospital scenes throughout.

Decent house scene.

Good club scene.

Good car counselor scene.

Good car blowup scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Colombiana, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen

Director: Olivier Megaton

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A mob organization wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of first kill scene.

A little girl escapes from trained mercenaries. Really? Too unbelievable.

Fail of embassy scene.

Fail of uncle scenes throughout.

Fail of school shooting scene. Powerfully stupid.

Good car cop prison scene. Smart infiltration.

Timed water release of electricity box. Brains and beauty. Well done.

Fail of bathroom scene.

CIA witness protection. Doesn't make sense, unless the CIA is corrupt and dirty as f*ck, which is most likely the case.

Fail of all FBI scenes.

Hey the guy from Alias (Michael Vartan). Nice to see you again.

Fail of Laundromat scene.

Fail of dog scenes throughout.

Good mansion infiltration scene.

Fail of all CIA scenes throughout.

Fail of library scene.

Shouldn't have been that easy to identity her if she was trained well.

Fail of breach apart scene.

Weapons in another apartment. Well done.

Why is it that the protagonist never expects blowbacks from killing the bad guys?

Fail of apartment scene.

I don't want to see Zoe Saldana as an advocate for gun control.

Fail of climax scene.

Well done with RPG.

Fail of ending.

Maybe the movie could have worked with a better writer.

Drive, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Hossein Amini

Director: Nicolas Winding Refn

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Thugs want a guy to do a job for them.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of almost all scenes. I'm the getaway driver for hire. What? Get the f*ck outta here.

Good production scene.

Fail of home scenes.

Fail of deal scene.

I like minimal dialogue, but it doesn't work here.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Nice chase scene but...

Fail of music content.

Fail of stripper scene.

Good elevator scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

Hanna, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Seth Lochhead, David Farr

Director: Joe Wright

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: CIA wants to kill a girl.

Story: Ambition, Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of acting all around.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good training scenes throughout.

Fail of confinement scenes.

Fail of almost all scenes. Too unbelievable.

Fail of writing, directing, acting.

Fail of music content.

Ah yes, the perfect child. Yawn.

Fail of internet scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

I'm not sure what the writer and director was trying to accomplish and neither did the audience since it was a Commercial Failure.

Immortals, 2011: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Vlas Parlapanides, Charley Parlapanides

Director: Tarsem Singh

Dialogue: Fail

Garbage dialogue.

Plot: A king wants to destroy the gods.

Story: Ambition, Survival

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of attack scene.

Hey, the guy who played Superman (Henry Cavill). Nice to see you.

Always nice to see that all the gods are White. Hollywood whitewashing (racism) at its best.

Terrible dialogue.

Fail of traitor scene.

Good hand to hand combat scene.

Fail of prophecy scenes throughout.

Excellent special effects throughout.

Fail of oracle scenes throughout.

Excellent god vs. god cinematography. Very well done.

Fail of all bad guy scenes throughout.

Fail of messenger scene.

Fail of speech scene.

Decent battle scene.

Good god fight scene throughout.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

I am Number Four, 2011: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Alfred Gough, Miles Millar, Marti Noxon

Director: D. J. Caruso

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue.

Plot: Extraterrestrials want to kill an extraterrestrial on the Earth.

Story: Relationships, Purpose, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of guardian/boy scenes throughout.

Complete failure of writing.

Fail of all home scenes throughout.

Decent to good school scenes throughout.

Fail of all awakening scenes.

He has high school problems. Really?

The dog is so loving and cute.

Good dating scenes throughout.

So…the extraterrestrial, the school girl, and the bad ass girl are all White? Well done Hollywood. God forbid an extraterrestrial of color.

Fail of all scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Limitless, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Leslie Dixon

Director: Neil Burger

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Someone wants to kill a man.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of bar scene.

Good narration throughout.

A magic pill that makes life better in all aspects. Powerfully stupid. Beyond suspension of disbelief. But then again, I guess this is what people feel on cocaine or ecstasy. I wouldn’t know.

Good sex scene.

Decent friend death scene.

So…he's brilliant and take's a loan. Really?

Fail of almost all scenes.

Fail of park scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

This movie was only made because of star power.

Johnny English Reborn, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Hamish McColl

Director: Oliver Parker

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Someone wants to assassinate the Chinese premier.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good monastery training scene.

Good Mozambique tick.

Pushes out the cat. Jokes.

Decent office scene.

Fail of tech scene.

Fail of casino scene.

Hey, Tobey from The West Wing (Richard Schiff ). Nice to see you again.

Always the cleaners as assassins.

Fail of room talk scene.

Fail of chase scene.

Fail of music content.

Fail of fight scene.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Fail of psych scenes.

Fail of golf scene.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of church scene.

No comedy in this movie. Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

Abduction, 2011: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Shawn Christensen

Director: John Singleton

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A group wants to capture a student.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Fail of CIA actors.

Comments:

Good intro.

Hey, the wolf guy from Twilight (Taylor Lautner). Nice to see you. Sorry about your fall from Hollywood.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of parenting training scenes throughout.

Fail of Sigourney Weaver scenes throughout.

Fail of dream flashback scene.

Decent wrestling scene.

Ah…the super hot girl in his room. Time to use that Native American wolf vitality and show her your manhood. Sorry, wrong movie.

Fail of discovery scenes throughout.

No need to go so close in on the eyes.

Hey, the Russian guy from John Wick (Michael Nyqvist).

Fail of attack scene.

Fail of all scenes after.

Fail of car escape scene.

Hey, the father from The Wonder Years (Alfred Molina). What a blast from the past.

Fail of all CIA scenes. Just garbage.

Fail of train scene.

Fail of diner talk/attack scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $90 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Arthur, 2011: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Peter Baynham

Director: Jason Winer

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A mother wants her adult child to grow up.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Helen Mirren as usual.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of almost every scene. Fail of writing.

Ah…the plight of rich White people. I'm guessing Warner Bros. Pictures wanted to wait until the recession was over before people laughed about the problems of the elite. They were wrong.

Good bedroom scene.

Excellent nanny scenes throughout.

Interesting to see Russell Brand before his exile from Hollywood.

Decent office scene.

Fail of top hat street scene.

Fail of construction scene.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Decent relationship scenes throughout.

Fail of horse scene.

Fail of sex scene.

Good interview scene.

Suggesting that she become his mistress. Jokes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Bad Teacher, 2011: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Lee Eisenberg, Gene Stupnitsky

Director: Jake Kasdan

Dialogue: Pass

"We'll I'm pro-choice. I believe everyone should choose what makes them happiest...except abortion of course." Excellent line, good delivery.

Plot: A man doesn't want to marry a woman.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting all around.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good principal meeting scene.

Good flashback scene.

Decent relationship scene.

Good diner scene.

Decent bar scene.

Good cafeteria scene.

Good breast job scene.

Good principal scene.

Good car wash scene.

Good bathroom scene.

Good cafeteria scene.

Good “Gangster's Paradise” scene.

Hey, the girl from Last Man Standing (Kaitlyn Dever).

Good dance scene.

Decent kid's house scene.

Good principal scene.

Good marking scene.

Good date scene.

Excellent dry humping scene.

Good field trip scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

One of the best movies of all time.

Crazy Stupid Love, 2011: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Dan Fogelman

Director: Glenn Ficarra, John Requa

Dialogue: Pass

"Daddy, he doesn't even know that I'm in love with him" "With who?" "With him" "Are you pointing at me?" "Are you pointing at him?" Excellent line and delivery.

Plot: A woman wants to leave her husband.

Story: Character, Relationship, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Ryan Gosling.

Comments:

Good intro.

When you gotta jerk it…you gotta jerk it. Unless you want a boner all day.

Gets out of a moving car. Jokes.

Good bar scene.

Good mental breakdown of wife scenes.

Ah…hitting on the babysitter. Well done sir. But I don't think that the MeToo movement would approve.

Excellent slow motion eating pizza scene with excellent weird music.

Crazy Stupid Love 2011 Ryan Gosling Pizza eating scene

Decent transformation scenes throughout.

Kevin Bacon. Nice to see you again. You're making a pretty good comeback sir. Well done.

Good locker room scene.

Good dating scenes throughout.

High school girls sleeping with older guys. Of course. Well done Hollywood.

Declaring your love. What is this, a cheesy Japanese anime?

Excellent teacher interview.

The man knows how to make a good drink. Kudos.

"Do people still say bang?" Jokes.

Good home girl scene.

Well done with the Dirty Dancing music scene.

Good night phone conversation.

Excellent front yard scene. Very well done.

Excellent characters, writing, acting.

Excellent movie.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Should have made more money.

Drive Angry, 2011: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Todd Farmer, Patrick Lussier

Director: Patrick Lussier

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A cult leader wants to bring about Armageddon.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of William Fichtner’s acting.

Fail of Billy Burke’s acting.

Fail of Nicholas Cage’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Excellent diner scene. Very realistic of the past. Kudos to the writer. Shame that was the best scene of the movie.

He grabbed the waitress and kissed her without permission. I don’t think that the MeToo movement would approve. But I think she liked it. Oh dear.

Fail car trouble scene. Too easy.

Fail of garbage scene.

Fail of bed scene and beating up scene. Doesn’t make sense.

Fail of memory scene.

Fail of bar scene.

Tap that. Oh dear.

So…everyone’s all slutty. Lovely.

Fail of room scene.

Fail of trooper scene.

Almost as if the movie was made just so male celebrities could get laid. Sometimes, pretend sex on-camera turns into real sex off-camera. Either before or after shooting.

Fail of all cult guru scenes throughout. Just terrible.

Fail of slow motion gun fight scene.

Fail of cop gun scene.

Fail of highway scene

Fail of church scene.

Fail of chase scene.

Fail of mechanic guy scenes.

Fail of highway scene…again.

Fail of every scene. Complete fail of writing and acting.

Sacrificing in Satan’s honor annoys him? Okay there.

Fail of pre-climax fight scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

How did this movie get a wide release? Star power.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $40 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Bridesmaids, 2011: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Annie Mumolo, Kristen Wiig

Director: Paul Feig

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A woman wants a better life.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of sex intro.

Dancing in the park. Jokes.

Good d*ck talk scene.

Fail of jewelry scene.

Fail of mom/daughter talk scene.

Cracked a blanket in half because of too much cum. Jokes.

Fail of ticket scene.

Good tennis scene.

Fail of roommate scenes throughout.

Good diner scene.

Bridal dress reservation. Is that a real thing? Wow, this industry is really well-oiled.

Fail of sh*tting in the street. Too unbelievable.

Fail of cop scenes throughout.

Excellent plane scene.

"Get back on my seat." Jokes.

Fail of blow up scene.

Good friend couch fight scene.

Good car scene.

Decent climax scene.

Good ending.

Hugo, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: John Logan

Director: Martin Scorsese

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A boy wants to build a robot.

Story: Family, Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Good acting all around.

Comments:

Good intro. But everything goes downhill from there.

Another period piece. Sigh.

Fail of all scenes.

Fail of all train scenes.

Fail of father finding object scene. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of real flashback scenes.

Complete fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made almost $200 million proves that God does NOT exist.

$150 million dollar production budget. Holy f*ck. Paramount Pictures has money to burn.

In Time, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Andrew Niccol

Director: Andrew Niccol

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A govt wants to maintain the status quo.

Story: Ethics, Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

It operates as currency? Powerfully stupid. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Yes yes, the rich and poor. I got it.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Easily anticipated movie.

Yes, the rich bet big. Fail of sharing scene. Powerfully stupid.

One of the dumbest science fiction movies on this planet.

Fail of police scenes throughout.

Fail of luxury lifestyle scenes.

"Raise you another two centuries." Get the f*ck outta here. And that's when I tuned out completely.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Decent escape scene.

Fail of market scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made more than $150 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Just Go with It 2011 Just Go With It, 2011: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Allan Loeb, Timothy Dowling

Director: Dennis Dugan

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to be with a woman.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Boobie bags. Jokes.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of beach scene.

Fail of school scene.

Fail of shopping scene.

Excellent child lunch scene. Very well done.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of plot. Too stupid.

Fail of love friend character.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of vacation scene.

Fail of ball smack bridge scene.

Throws a kid in the mud. Really?

Fail of golf scene.

Fail of pool scene.

Fail of dinner scenes throughout.

Fail of sheep scene.

Fail of ball dance scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

You know, I'm getting tired of these Hollywood romance template movies. So predictable. It zaps the comedy right out of it.

Midnight in Paris, 2011: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Woody Allen

Director: Woody Allen

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Purpose, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Corey Stoll.

Comments:

Good intro, but way too much scenery. Not needed to set the mood.

Fail of couple restaurant scene.

So much boring sh*tty dialogue and armchair philosophy. Christ.

And now he creates his own world. As a fellow writer, I understand, but...

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of garbage dialogue.

Hey the guy from House of Cards and Billions (Corey Stoll). Nice to see you again.

Hemmingway. Oh dear.

"An honest book." "Die gracefully." Get the f*ck outta here.

That's a lot of A-listers turning a blind eye to Woody Allen's "indiscretions." But…that's Hollywood.

And now we're looking at sh*tty museum pictures that are works of art. Yawn.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, 2011: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Michele Mulroney, Kieran Mulroney

Director: Guy Ritchie

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A professor wants to profit from war.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Robert Downey Jr.

Comments:

Good intro.

Excellent pre-visualization scenes as usual.

Good fight scenes throughout.

Sherlock Holmes is Robert Downey Jr.’s best character.

Excellent investigative scenes throughout.

Good restaurant scene.

Excellent party scene.

Good professor meeting scene.

Excellent train scene.

Tosses her out. Jokes.

Good attack/escape scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Good ending.

One of the best movies of all time.

Source Code, 2011: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Ben Ripley

Director: Duncan Jones

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A group wants to blow up a train.

Story: Ethics, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Jake Gyllenhaal.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good train scenes throughout.

Interesting confinement scenes throughout.

Excellent writing. Pulls you in for more.

Excellent special effects.

Unbelievable technology, but the writer makes it work.

Good investigative scenes throughout.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Excellent movie.

But why is Russell Peters in this movie?

Friends with Benefits, 2011: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Will Gluck, Keith Merryman, David A. Newman

Director: Will Gluck

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Two people want a better life.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Mila Kunis.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of plane scene.

Good cab scene.

An aspiring writer. Oh dear.

Living in NYC? I'd rather be homeless in Vancouver.

All I see are a lot of background extras.

Good diner scene.

Sneeze after you cum. Jokes.

Ah…meaningless sex for liberals and hypocritical conservative religious men. Lovely.

Good sex scenes throughout.

Vagina made out of burlap. Jokes.

Ah…the liberal mom. Of course.

Fail of mother scenes throughout. Too unbelievable.

Good outdoor game scene.

Good family girl scenes throughout.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Passed with 3 writers. Kudos. But it passed more on the strength of Mila Kunis' acting.

No Strings Attached, 2011: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Elizabeth Meriwether

Director: Ivan Reitman

Dialogue: Pass

"You're f*cking my ex-girlfriend?" "Well...yah." Good line, excellent delivery.

Excellent dialogue throughout.

Plot: A guy wants to get over his past relationships.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good party scene.

Good funeral scene.

Excellent production scene.

He’s screwing the ex-girlfriend? Well done Hollywood. Excellent female empowerment.

Good father/son fight argument scene.

Good casual sex scenes throughout.

I didn't see him ask verbal permission to begin the sex. That's a no no in the eyes of the MeToo movement.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Real Steel, 2011: FAIL

Potential Profit.

Writer: John Gatins

Director: Shawn Levy

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Family, Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

People getting excited over two robots fighting. A new low for humanity.

Fail of robot righting scenes throughout. Too stupid. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of court scene.

Fail of bribe scene. Too stupid.

Fail of child custody scene. The fact that the child knows about it is too much for me.

All robot scenes beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of all scenes aside from father/son scenes.

While the father son plot is good, the medium doesn't work.

Fail of robot fight climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Should have been direct to video/streaming.

Tower Heist, 2011: PASS

Commercial Failure.

Writer: Ted Griffin, Jeff Nathanson

Director: Brett Ratner

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: FBI wants to convict a Wall Street tycoon.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Ben Stiller.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good management scenes throughout.

Hey the guy that played Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick). Where have you been?

Ah…the missing pension money.

Ah…these small roles for Eddie Murphy. At least Hollywood is still throwing him scraps after his numerous stinkers. Such a shame since his past standup was fabulous.

Good hospital scene.

Good bar scene.

Good solution idea.

Good Eddie Murphy scenes throughout.

Good lesbian talk scene. Jokes.

Runs over the agent with a cart. Jokes.

Theft a bit too unbelievable but I’ll let it slide.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Should have made more money. But the budget was too high, and I'm guessing it's because of Eddie Murphy.

The Eagle, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Failure.

Writer: Jeremy Brock

Director: Kevin Macdonald

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Celts want to overrun a Roman post.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent to good battle scenes throughout.

Excellent cinematography.

Public cheering on men to fight. Sigh. Sadly, this exists throughout all generations. And people wonder why aliens don’t want to talk with them. Humanity has little to offer them.

Good recovery scenes throughout.

This movie looks very expensive.

Fail of solution. Sins of the father shouldn't haunt children.

Good forest attack scene.

Fail of Roman prisoner scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Horrible Bosses, 2011: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Michael Markowitz, John Francis Daley, Jonathan Goldstein

Director: Seth Gordon

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Bosses want to make lives horrible for their employees.

Story: Character

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Colin Farrell’s acting.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good dental scenes throughout.

Good boss scenes throughout.

Fail of Colin Farrell scenes throughout.

Good bar scene idea.

Good street boss scene.

A cat jumps on him. Jokes.

Decent cop interview scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

A stupid funny movie, but it’s solid.

Passed with 3 writers. Well done.

Hall Pass, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly, Pete Jones, Kevin Barnett

Director: Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Married men and women want a better life.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of home scenes throughout.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Fail of baby monitor scene.

Fail of surveillance talk scene.

Excellent jerking off in the car scene. Best scene of the movie. Very well done.

Hall Pass (3/9) Best Movie Quote - Take Out the Garbage (2011)

Fail of all bar scenes throughout.

Fail of solution scene.

Ah…wives pretending to be asleep. Well done.

Good Asian massage parlor scene.

Fail of club scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Larry Crowne, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Tom Hanks, Nia Vardalos

Director: Tom Hanks

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A company wants to fire their long-time employees.

Story: Purpose, Character, Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of almost all Tom Hanks scenes, which is pretty much the entire movie.

Fail of all lecture scenes throughout. Too stupid.

Lack of post-education makes you retarded. What?

Fail of all home scenes throughout.

Characters are too unbelievable.

Soy sauce tattoo. Jokes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

New Year's Eve, 2011: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Katherine Fugate

Director: Garry Marshall

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Various people want a better life.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of all scenes. Garbage writing.

Gala tickets. Who gives a f*ck?

Fail of all elevator scenes.

These people's lives are just sad.

A charm school. What?

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Season of the Witch, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Bragi F. Schut

Director: Dominic Sena

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue.

Plot: A witch wants to curse the Catholic Church.

Story: Purpose, Character, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good night scene.

Everything looks like a set and props. Terrible cinematography. Please shoot at 24 FPS with an adequate depth of field. It’s not rocket science.

Fail of all battle scenes throughout.

Fail of all scenes. Powerfully stupid. Complete fail of writing.

Shame that the witches didn't destroy the entire Catholic Church. Would have saved us a lot of troubles today.

Fail of transport scenes throughout.

Garbage dialogue throughout.

Fail of all night attack scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Paul, 2011: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost

Director: Greg Mottola

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: UFO hobbyists wants to find UFOs.

Story: Ethics, Character

Characters: Pass

Good pathetic characters.

Fail of idiot characters.

Excellent religious woman character.

Acting: Pass

Excellent voice acting by Seth Rogen.

Comments:

Decent quick intro.

Good conference scene.

Decent diner scene.

Good real plot.

Excellent Paul scenes throughout.

Decent phone conversation/could have been darker.

Good Spielberg joke.

Excellent girl truck scene.

Good bar scene.

Good campfire scene.

Fail of cowboy agent scene. Could have been much better.

Very sad house scene. Very well done.

Fail of climax scene.

Good religious father scene.

Good ending.

A good movie showing how stupid religious people are with accepting extraterrestrials.

But it shouldn't have cost $40 million to make. Maybe the CGI ate up the budget.

The Dilemma, 2011: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Allan Loeb

Director: Ron Howard

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A woman wants to cheat on her husband.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent dinner scene.

Fail of dealership scene.

Good bar scene.

Good apartment scene.

Good car scene.

Decent office scene.

Decent greenhouse forest scene.

Fail of auto scene.

Fail of bank scene.

Fail of music content throughout.

Fail of hockey game scene.

Good bus scene.

Fail of cafe scene.

Fail of auto dealer scene.

You know, a simple tape recorder would have solved all of this. But then, there's no movie.

Fail of dinner scene.

Fail of porch scene. Too stupid.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

The Descendants, 2011: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon, Jim Rash

Director: Alexander Payne

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A wife wants to have an affair.

Story: Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Narration not needed.

White people who owned land on Hawaii since the 19 century thinks that the land belongs to them. Go f*ck yourselves. American exploitation right behind slavery.

Good home scenes throughout.

Ah…the rebellious youth. Something that no conditioning can tame. Aside from the Chinese govt of course.

Good investigative scenes throughout.

Good family land scenes throughout.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

Passed with 3 writers. Well done.

The Artist, 2011: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Michel Hazanavicius

Director: Michel Hazanavicius

Dialogue: Pass

Even though there's no dialogue.

Plot: An executive wants to put an end to silent films.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting throughout.

Comments:

Good intro.

Interesting to see a piece of Hollywood history.

Good use of expressions in telling the story.

Good difficult time scenes throughout.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

Your Highness, 2011: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Danny McBride, Ben Best

Director: David Gordon Green

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A warlock wants to sacrifice a woman.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Complete fail of everything. Oh dear god.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Good gay innuendo scenes throughout.

Thankfully, even star power couldn't make this movie profitable.

Good sucking venom scene, but could have been better.

Should have extended brothers swinging sword scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

The Smurfs, 2011: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: J. David Stem, David N. Weiss, Jay Scherick, David Ronn

Director: Raja Gosnell

Dialogue: Pass

"She's still an eye offending dog fish if you ask me." Decent line, excellent delivery.

Plot: A wizard wants to capture smurfs to become invincible.

Story: Character, Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good wizard scenes throughout.

Excellent comedy from the wizard.

Good smurf scenes throughout.

Too easy to find and capture them.

Decent lunch party scene.

Weak couple scenes throughout.

Good outhouse scene.

Good dog chase of smurfs scene.

Good Scottish smurf scenes throughout.

Good smurf work scenes throughout.

Excellent restaurant scene.

Good toy store scene.

Decent air vent scene. Could have been better.

Fail of prison scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Passed with 4 writers. Very impressive.

Something Borrowed, 2011: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jennie Snyder Urman

Director: Luke Greenfield

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to cheat on his fiancé.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of party scenes throughout.

Fail of morning scene.

Yes, you're a terrible person but the guy is the real problem.

Weak dialogue and characters.

Fail of writing, acting.

Always nice to see the problems of beautiful White people. Cry me a river.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

Continued in Part 2.