Hollywood Movie Review Series:

*Movies are in no particular order. Please use Crtl F on your keyboard to find a particular movie. Movies that got a wide release in the year after their first screening are listed in the next year. For example, 300 (2006) is listed in 2007 because it only got a wide release in 2007.

*Don't worry about spoilers. You can read the review of any movie without being afraid of spoilers and enjoy the movie if you watch it. I intentionally made sure not to ruin a movie by revealing a hidden plot or hidden climax scene. I simply pass or fail each scene and comment on them.

Annapolis, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Dave Collard

Director: Justin Lin

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Good acting by James Franco.

Decent acting by Tyrese Gibson. But the character is limiting his acting potential (no sarcasm intended).

Excellent acting all around, but the characters are sh*t.

Comments:

Fail of boxing intro.

Decent talk scene.

Fail of club scene.

Ah…the approval of daddy. Oh dear.

Decent inspection scene.

Decent training scenes throughout.

Boxing training. Yawn.

Good food scene.

Excellent visible minority characters.

"I'm so stubborn and don't need help from anyone." Yah yah.

Fail of cafeteria scene.

Good water tank scene.

Fail of boxing scene.

Why is it taking so long for him to get the message?

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of father/son talk scenes throughout.

Good dance scene.

Fail of commander/guy talk scene.

Good water tank scene.

Good Mississippi talk scene.

Boxing the most important thing to teach character. What?

Fail of boxing scenes throughout.

Good night rain training scene.

Good obstacle course scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

I wanted to pass this movie, but the weak writing wouldn’t let me.

American Dreamz, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Paul Weitz

Director: Paul Weitz

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue.

Plot: The US president doesn't want to be seen.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Willem Dafoe’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of all characters, garbage writing.

Oh my god, Willem Dafoe as an old man. Jokes, but it doesn't work.

Wow, the guy from American Pie (Chris Klein).

The usual sleazy backroom shenanigans. Sigh.

Jennifer Coolidge from American Pie. Always a pleasure.

Good terrorist plot, but not enough to pass.

Reality show plot doesn't work.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, 2006: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Ed Decter, John J. Strauss

Director: Michael Lembeck

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: An expecting mother wants a normal family.

Story: Family, Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Martin Short.

Fail of Spencer Breslin’s acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of main elf talk scene. The child acting is hurting the movie.

Fail of council scene.

Martin short. Wow. Nice to see you. Excellent performance.

Judge Reinhold. Always a pleasure.

Michael Dorn (Worf) from Star Trek TNG. Wow. Shame it was a bullsh*t role.

Fail of in-laws scene.

Decent to good north pole scenes throughout.

Divine little kitten. Jokes.

Decent family house scene.

Good alternative plot. Well done.

Fail of all deer scenes throughout.

Good recital scene.

Good pre-climax scene.

Good climax scene.

A bit overacting but it passed on the strength of Martin Short and Judge Reinhold’s acting.

Terrible bloopers in the end.

Only $12 million production budget. Wow. How? Well done.

Ultraviolet, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Kurt Wimmer

Director: Kurt Wimmer

Dialogue: Fail

Oh dear god. Some of the worst dialogue I've ever heard.

Plot: Govt wants to destroy rebels.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Oh dear god. Some of the worst characters I've ever seen.

Acting: Fail

Oh dear god. Some of the worst acting I've ever seen.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of cheesy music content.

Fail of all fight scenes throughout.

Fail of CGI. Looks terrible.

Fail of all narration. Just terrible.

Militant medical establishment. Oh dear. I'm a conspiracy theorist and even that's too far for me (at least until the COVID vaccines become mandatory, which they soon will be in 2022).

Fail of writing, directing, cinematography, acting, music. Oh dear god. I can't believe how bad this movie
is.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Complete fail of every single scene. Holy f*ck.

Fail of all medical building scenes throughout.

Hey the kid from one of the X-Men movies (Cameron Bright).

Fail of car escape scene.

Fail of train scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made $30 million proves that God does NOT exist.

How did this garbage movie get a wide release? Star power.

It made $30 million because of Milla Jovovich's star power.

Basic Instinct 2, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Leora Barish, Henry Bean

Director: Michael Caton-Jones

Dialogue: Fail

"Of course I am. I'm traumatized. Who knows if I'll ever come again." Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: The UK justice system wants to convict a woman.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Fail of shrink character.

Acting: Fail

Fail of David Morrissey's acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Excellent intro with excellent cinematography and music. Very well done. Shame it goes downhill from there.

Fail of interview scene.

Fail of court scene.

Fail of philosophy meeting scene. Post-structuralism. Oh dear god. And I’m a philosopher.

Fail of shrink scenes throughout. As if they couldn't find a shrink without the past baggage.

Fail of bedroom sex scene. Could have worked with better music content and cinematography.

Fail of investigation scenes throughout.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Complete fail of writing.

Complete train wreck of a movie. Very disappointed.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made almost $40 million proves that God does NOT exist.

$70 million production budget. Sony Pictures Releasing has money to burn.

Underworld: Evolution, 2006: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Danny McBride

Director: Len Wiseman

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Vampires want to kill one of their own.

Story: Survival, Ambition, Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Excellent cinematography as usual for the Underworld series.

Kraven scene doesn’t make sense.

Decent ship scene.

Fail of forest fight scene.

Ah…the magical sex scene. Well done.

Fail of exile scene. Too easy just revealing everything. Could have made it into a plot device.

Fail of Corvin scenes throughout.

Fail of ship battle scene.

Sloppy writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Saw III, 2006: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Leigh Whannell

Director: Darren Lynn Bousman

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to abduct people.

Story: Survival, Family, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Excellent flashback scenes throughout.

Good investigative scenes throughout.

Excellent survival scenes throughout.

Excellent doctor scenes throughout.

Excellent music content throughout.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

One of the best movies of all time.

The Hills Have Eyes, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Alexandre Aja, Gregory Levasseur

Director: Alexandre Aja

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: People want to kill travelers.

Story: Ambition, Survival, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent gas station scene.

Who drives their family in the desert with a little kids? White people who want to die.

Fail of killer characters. Too stupid. Should have gone with regular crazy White trash serial killers.

Fail of most scenes. Too unbelievable. Fail of writing.

Fail of music content.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Decent ending.

Watching this movie is another reason why I didn’t want to initially review slasher movies.

See No Evil, 2006: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Dan Madigan

Director: Gregory Dark

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: People want to torture/kill people.

Story: Ambition, Survival

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

I like how they don't radio for backup.

Flashlight still on her face. Well done.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Decent bus scene.

Fixing up a landmark hotel. I guess that's legal since involuntary slavery is legal in prison.

Slavery Is Still Legal in the United States

The 'Modern Day Slavery' Of Prison Labor Really Does Have A Link To Slavery

Good cleaning scenes throughout.

Excellent spookiness throughout.

Excellent sound effects throughout.

Good capture scenes throughout.

Good flashback scenes throughout.

Killed by wild dogs. Too cruel.

Excellent climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid movie.

Slither, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: James Gunn

Director: James Gunn

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: An alien wants to take over humans.

Story: Ambition, Survival, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good class scene.

Fail of bedroom scene.

Fail of forest scene.

Fail of transference scene.

Fail of house scene. They couldn't shoot. Really?

Fail of investigative scenes throughout.

Fail of barn scene.

Fail of worm visualization scene.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of zombie scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Stay Alive, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: William Brent Bell, Matthew Peterman

Director: William Brent Bell

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Something wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition, Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

10 minutes in and I see this as a complete failure in everything.

Fail of every scene. Complete fail of writing.

Hey, the guy from Malcolm in the Middle (Frankie Muniz).

Video games. That actually works as a plot.

Fail of video game scenes throughout.

Fail of explanation scenes throughout.

Fail of cop investigation scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

The Descent, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Neil Marshall

Director: Neil Marshall

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A woman wants to get over her trauma.

Story: Survival, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good hospital scene.

Good cabin scenes throughout.

Good dream scene.

Fail of cave scenes throughout.

A bit odd that a group of women go off to explore a deep cave on their own.

I was expecting something else from this movie from the dream state scene. I was wrong.

Good music content though.

Fail of writing.

Good cinematography and directing though.

Fail of all creature scenes throughout.

Nice to see strong women characters. Kudos.

Fail of all death scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Excellent ending, but not enough to pass.

I can understand why this movie made money, but the writer needed to provide an intro story for the creatures. Then it might be passable.

Kudos to the skinny production budget.

This movie should be redone with a better writer.

The Night Listener, 2006: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Armistead Maupin, Terry Anderson, Patrick Stettner

Director: Patrick Stettner

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to leave his partner.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Robin Williams.

Comments:

Good intro.

Interesting deeper plot.

Good phone scenes throughout.

Good relationship scenes throughout.

Good investigative scenes throughout.

Good frosted glass scene. Could have gone further with it.

Good house scene.

Good hospital scene.

Good cop scene.

Good road scene.

Factitious disorder. Something only victim mentality feminists and liberals would have.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid movie.

Passed with 3 writers. Kudos.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, 2006: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Sheldon Turner

Director: Jonathan Liebesman

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition, Survival

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Interesting timeline scenes.

Decent meat scene.

Hey, the girl from the Fast and Furious series (Jordana Brewster). F*ck me.

Good couple scene.

Good highway biker scene.

Fail of road kill scene.

Decent dinner scene.

Good shop scene.

A cow on the road they didn't see. Really? I'll let it go.

Good torture scenes throughout.

Good home scenes throughout.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid writing.

Hostel, 2006: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Eli Roth

Director: Eli Roth

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A group wants to torture/kill tourists.

Story: Ambition, Survival

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Impressive cinematography.

Good shop scene.

Ah…good old Amsterdam.

Buying women for sex like they're products. I'm sure that today’s feminists would be so proud.

Good train scene.

Good sex scenes throughout.

Good torture scenes throughout.

Good deja vu scene.

Good bar scene.

Good warehouse scene.

Slips on the ball gag. Jokes.

Excellent locker room scene.

Fail of Japanese girl room scene.

Good climax scene.

Fail of ending. Too unbelievable.

Kudos to the skinny production budget.

Bloodrayne, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Guinevere Turner

Director: Uwe Boll

Dialogue: Fail

Some of the worst dialogue I've ever heard.

Plot: A vampire ruler wants to rule the world.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Complete fail of all acting. Holy f*ck.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Hey, the woman from the Terminator series (Kristanna Loken).

Fail of fighting/battle scenes throughout.

Fail of all hero scenes throughout.

Complete failure of writing, directing, and acting. Oh dear god.

How did this movie get a wide release.

Fail of psychic scene.

Fail of cinematography.

What the f*ck was that with those spinning blades?

Fail of all vampire ruler scenes throughout.

Decent flashback scene.

Fail of sex scene.

"Your form is weak. Lacking passion." Oh dear.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Almost as if the movie was made just so male celebrities could get laid. Sometimes, pretend sex on-camera turns into real sex off-camera. Either before or after shooting.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $4 million proves that God DOES exist.

The Wicker Man, 2006: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Neil LaBute

Director: Neil LaBute

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A woman wants to find her missing daughter.

Story: Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

A bit overacting but it's okay.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good hallucination scenes throughout.

Good investigative scenes throughout.

Good commune scenes throughout.

Ah…hippy women and their crazy communes.

Leelee Sobieski. What a blast from the past. Always a pleasure.

Good dream scene.

Fail of class scene.

Good confusion throughout.

Good climax scene. Weird, but good.

Good ending.

$40 million production budget. Really?

When a Stranger Calls, 2006: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Jake Wade Wall

Director: Simon West

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Someone wants to kill people in their house.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent sound effects without showing the images. Well done.

Good gym scene.

Good school scene.

Hey the guy from the Marvel movies (Clark Gregg).

Excellent house scenes throughout.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Excellent movie. Solid writing, directing, acting, cinematography.

Date Movie, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer

Director: Aaron Seltzer

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A woman wants to get married.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro. Too stupid.

Alyson Hannigan from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Wow. What a transformation.

Fail of road dance scene. But good gay scene.

Fail of dating scenes throughout.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

What was the music clearance bill for this movie? I guess it doesn't matter since it was a Commercial Success.

Good auto transformation scene. Best scene of the movie.

Fail of bachelor scenes throughout.

The comedy is too over the top.

Terrible parodies throughout.

Fail of cat toilet scene.

Fail of almost all scenes. Complete fail of writing and directing.

Fail of parents talk scene.

Fail of best man/woman scenes throughout.

Fail of music scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Should have been direct to video/streaming.

The Sentinel, 2006: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: George Nolfi

Director: Clark Johnson

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Someone wants to kill the US president.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Fail of Kiefer Sutherland’s acting. Wrong actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good white house outside scene.

Good inside White House scenes throughout.

Fail of interview scene.

In broad daylight. Really?

Fail of idiot cop scene.

And the plot thickens.

Fail of secret service scene. In broad daylight. Really?

The smart agent would think rationally, debrief and resign and allow themselves to be kept under surveillance. But that's not how Hollywood does things.

Decent to good investigative scenes throughout.

Good music content throughout.

Fail of mall scene.

Good switch of scenes throughout.

Good writing and directing.

Good apartment scene.

Good house invasion scene.

Fail of secret talk scene.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

Flicka, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Mark Rosenthal, Lawrence Konner

Director: Michael Mayer

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Parents want a girl to do well in school.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Ah…the troubled life of the middle class White girl. Cry me a river.

Fail of forest scene.

Fail of music content throughout.

Fail of home scenes throughout.

The essay as an explanation of the soul. Oh dear.

Boring horse scenes throughout.

"Only the horse can understand my soul." Oh dear.

Should have been named the horse whisperer.

"I feel like a cartoon." Oh dear.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Good forest night scene.

Fail of rodeo scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

The Return, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Adam Sussman

Director: Asif Kapadia

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to scare a girl.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro. Too quick.

Sarah Michelle Gellar. Wow. What a blast from the past.

Good work scene.

Fail of highway scene.

Fail of club scene.

Fail of home scene.

Fail of music content throughout.

Fail of motel scene.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of flashback scenes throughout.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.
-----------------------------------------------

Friends with Money, 2006: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Nicole Holofcener

Director: Nicole Holofcener

Dialogue: Fail

Boring dialogue.

Plot: Various couples want a better life.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

A lot of big names in this movie.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of car scene.

Boring scenes throughout.

Fail of diner scene.

Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

The Nativity Story, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Mike Rich

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A Roman king wants oppress Jews.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro. Needed more backstory.

Hey, the guy who played Mance Rayder from Game of Thrones (Ciaran Hinds). Nice to see you.

Fail of temple scene.

Good forest teenager scene.

Good story scene.

Good roman tax scene.

Fail of 3 wise man scenes throughout.

Dr. Bashir from Star Trek: DS9 and from Game of Thrones (Alexander Siddig). Nice to see you again.

Good angel scene.

Good birth scene.

Fail of roman scenes throughout.

Fail of dream scene.

This movie could have been good with a better writer.

Tone for the movie is wrong. Fail of directing.

It would have been better to focus more on Joseph and Mary as opposed to everything else.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Material Girls, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: John Quaintance, Jessica O'Toole, Amy Rardin

Director: Martha Coolidge

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A competitor wants to buy a company.

Story: Ambition, Character, Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by David Spiner.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Ah…the sad life of rich scion White girls. Sigh.

Fail of club scene.

Fail of house scene.

Oh my god, Brent Spiner (data from Star Trek: TNG). Wow.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of gala scene.

Fail of house scenes throughout.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Decent hotel lobby scene.

Good bus scene.

Fail of office scenes throughout.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of lawyer scenes throughout.

Good housekeeper house scene.

Fail of spa scene.

Fail of investigative scenes throughout.

Fail of searching room scene.

Fail of prison scene.

Fail of cat woman scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

How to Eat Fried Worms, 2006: FAIL

Unknown (most likely Potential Profit)

Writer: Bob Dolman

Director: Bob Dolman

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Bullies want to bully a kid.

Story: Relationships, Family, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of child actor Luke Benward. Not the right actor for the role. Not his fault of course.

Good acting by Ty Panitz.

Comments:

Fail of animated intro.

Decent car ride scene.

Fail of initial school scene.

Why is the cubby thing outside of the classroom? Anyone can steal from it.

Ah…the cruelty of kids.

Good cafeteria scene.

Good dad workplace scenes throughout.

Decent hall scene.

Fail of outside scene.

Fail of outside bike kids scene.

Fail of girl house scene.

Decent dad son talk scene.

Fail of outside boys talk scene.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Good second animation scene.

Fail of worm park scene.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of most worm eating scenes throughout.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

This movie had potential to pass. Should be redone with a better writer.

End of the Spear, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Bill Ewing, Bart Gavigan, Jim Hanon

Director: Jim Hanon

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Native tribes want to kill each other.

Story: Ambition, Ethics, Relationships, Family, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Tell his story from childhood. Yah, that doesn't work.

Fail of backstory scenes throughout.

Spearing a jaguar. Burn in hell.

So interconnected with animal spirits that they kill. Get the f*ck outta here.

Fail of almost all scenes.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Fail of White family scenes throughout.

Fail of music content.

Fail of first contact scene.

Fail of kill scene.

In real life, White Christians are still trying to convert the sinful natives.

'He lost his mind': Slain missionary John Allen Chau planned for years to convert remote tribe in India

Police trying to recover body of American missionary killed by remote tribe turn back to avoid attack

They can burn in hell as well. With so many groups burning in hell, heaven must be boring.

No you haven't angered the spirits. You angered armed cracked in the head White people.

Fail of wives tribe scene.

Fail of cinematography, writing, directing, acting.

Only the White people can save them. Of course.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Crossover, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Preston A. Whitmore II

Director: Preston A. Whitmore II

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue.

Plot: People want a better life.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Fail of acting throughout.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of street ball scenes.

Fail of bragging scene.

Fail of bookie scenes throughout.

Fail of home scenes.

Fail of club scene.

Fail of most scenes.

Fail of porch talk scene.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Should have been direct to video/streaming.

Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Waist Deep, 2006: PASS

Unknown (most likely Commercial Failure)

Writer: Vondie Curtis-Hall

Director: Vondie Curtis-Hall

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A Black gang wants to control the streets.

Story: Family, Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting all around.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good father son scene.

Good car jack scene.

Good garage scene.

I like how he takes care of his business.

Black mafia. Well done.

Decent speech scene.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Decent house robbery scene.

Good bike cop scene.

Decent house cop scene.

Good bank scene.

Good sex scene.

Good talk group scene.

Fail of trade scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid movie. Good writing, directing, acting.

The Matador, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Richard Shepard

Director: Richard Shepard

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: An assassin wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition, Character, Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Pierce Brosnan's acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent bench scene.

Good wake up scene.

Decent tree scene.

Fail of airport scene.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of outdoor scene.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of solution. Too stupid.

Fail of matador scene.

That's a lot of extras. At least they got paid.

Is this supposed to be a comedy.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of church scene.

Good dryer sex scene.

Fail of flashback scene.

Pierce Brosnan can't pull it off.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Unaccompanied Minors, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Jacob Meszaros, Mya Stark

Director: Paul Feig

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue.

Plot: Airlines want to cancel flights because of a blizzard.

Story: Relationships, Family, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

An unaccompanied minors room. Yah...no. Perfect place for pedophiles.

Who flies on Christmas Eve?

Hey, Fez from That ‘70s Show (Wilmer Valderrama).

Fail of kids room scene.

Is there a script for this movie?

Fail of most antics. Weak.

Fail of executive guy scenes throughout.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of girl fight scene.

Everything is beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of dog scene.

Decent luggage scene.

This movie wasn't written by a comedy writer.

Well…that's one way to screw over politically correct atheists.

Decent climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Complete fail of writing and weak acting.

The Libertine, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Stephen Jeffreys

Director: Laurence Dunmore

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A king wants to govern.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Excellent acting by Johnny Depp as usual.

Everyone else looks like 21st century actors in wigs. Even though they are, the point is to make it look like they aren't.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of initial talk scene.

Fail of carriage scene.

I don't think the she gave consent. But she liked it. I don't think the MeToo movement would approve.

Fail of bar scene.

Ah…the problems of writers, in the past and the present.

Good alley scene.

He grabbed her and kissed her without asking for consent. That's a big no no in the eyes of the MeToo movement.

Fail of theatre scenes throughout.

Fail of outdoor scene.

Fail of training scenes throughout.

Fail of orgy scene.

Fail of house scenes throughout.

Fail of all John Malkovich scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One Night with the King, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Stephan Blinn

Director: Michael O. Sajbel

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of dialogue.

Plot: A king wants to get rid of his wife.

Story: Ambition, Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Complete fail of all acting. Oh dear god.

Fail of Tiffany Dupont's acting. Oh dear god.

Fail of Luke Goss' acting. Oh dear god.

Comments:

Fail of intro. Oh dear god. I think this is going to be one of the worst movies of all time.

Complete fail of cinematography. Oh dear god.

Decent home scene.

Fail of street scene.

Fail of cave talk scene.

Fail of flashback scenes.

Fail of music content.

Complete fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of all royal scenes.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of narration throughout.

Oh my god, every scene is a complete failure. Jesus Christ.

I can't believe I'm watching this movie.

I can't believe this movie got released in over 900 theatres.

Tommy Lister from Friday. Wow.

Fail of writing, directing, acting, cinematography.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Fail of all fight scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $15 million at the box office proves that God DOES exist, which is ironic given the content.

Goal! The Dream Begins, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Adrian Butchart, Mike Jefferies, Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais

Director: Danny Cannon

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A Mexican family wants a better life.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Kuno Becker's acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good pool scene.

Good soccer scenes throughout.

White parents pushing their kids into sports. Lovely.

Fail of pushing so hard scenes.

Good father scenes throughout.

An asthmatic soccer star. Really?

Fail of airport scene.

A Mexican soccer star to save the team. Well, at least it's better than beautiful White people saving the team.

Fail of beach scene.

Weak characters.

Kuno Becker’s acting really kills the movie.

Fail of music content throughout. This isn't a historical drama.

Fail of training scenes throughout.

Good hospital scene.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

4 writers. Way too many cooks in the kitchen.

Black Christmas, 2006: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Glen Morgan

Director: Glen Morgan

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Someone wants to kill people for Christmas.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Fail of psyc ward scenes.

Beautiful White women well endowed who get killed. Couldn't ask for a better cliché horror movie.

If this was a comedy, it wouldn’t have worked.

Fail of most scenes.

Fail of backstory scenes.

Fail of most scenes.

Good cinematography throughout.

Boring scenes throughout.

Fail to decent death scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Rocky Balboa, 2006: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Sylvester Stallone

Director: Sylvester Stallone

Dialogue: Pass

Good dialogue throughout.

Plot: A retired boxer wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting from Sylvester Stallone

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good graveyard scene.

Good lobby talk scene.

Good restaurant scenes throughout.

Good night talk scene.

Good bar scene.

A cute ugly. Jokes.

Good father son scenes throughout.

Good brother in law scenes throughout.

Excellent hearing scene.

Black boxers with White managers. Just maintaining the stereotype.

Solid writing and acting.

Good cinematography throughout.

Good public scene.

Excellent father son street scene.

Excellent rocky training scenes.

Good fight scenes.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Phatz Girl, 2006: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Nnegest Likke

Director: Nnegest Likke

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A woman wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good narration scene.

Fail of dressing scene.

Fail of cinematography. Terrible. The terrible cinematography destroys this movie, which is really a fail of directing.

Waddle. Jokes.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Decent store scenes.

1st plantation bank. Jokes.

Excellent bank scene. Shame the garbage cinematography kills it.

Fail of club scene.

Fail of fast food scene.

Fail of initial vacation scenes.

A walking match stick. Jokes.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of exercise scene.

Fail of most vacation scenes.

Fail of club scene.

Fail of store scene.

Fail of fashion show scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Some of the worst cinematography I've ever seen for a wide release movie.

Gridiron Gang, 2006: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jeff Maguire

Director: Phil Joanou

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Black gangs want to kill Black people.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Dumb angry Black juveniles. And liberals and the Black community wonder why people don't care about Black people dying.

What do you expect? This is the fabulous US criminal justice system (forgive the sarcasm).

Decent solution scene.

Decent office talk scene. A bit over the top, but...

Good basketball court scene.

P*ssyass liberal schools. Oh dear.

Fail of bible speech scene.

Good football training scenes throughout.

Gangsters for life.

Good football game scenes throughout.

38-0. Wow.

Decent office talk scenes throughout.

Good cell talk scene.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Excellent real life scenes.

Solid writing, directing, and acting.

This movie shouldn't have cost $30 million to make. But it should have made more money at the box office. The fact that it didn't proves that God does NOT exist.

Turistas, 2006: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Michael Arlen Ross

Director: John Stockwell

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A group wants to kidnap/kill tourists.

Story: Survival

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good bus scene. Nice cinematography.

Good crash scene.

Good beach scene.

Idiot White tourists. It's almost as if they're asking to be abducted and killed.

Good party scene.

Good tone to movie.

Good death scenes throughout.

Fail of street patio scene.

Good swim scene.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Good surgery scenes throughout.

Decent forest scene.

Good underwater scene.

Decent climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Good directing, decent writing, good acting, excellent cinematography.

Transamerica, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Duncan Tucker

Director: Duncan Tucker

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Character, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of doctor office scene.

I'm sure that liberals will herald this movie as the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Two misfits together. Lovely.

Fail of therapist scenes throughout.

Boring scenes throughout.

Fail of house scene.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of car scenes throughout.

Vaginal dilators. Oh dear.

A woman who wouldn't pass as a woman but is really a woman. Jokes.

Level 4 vegan. Oh dear. Conservatives would tell them to burn in hell.

Yah, about the Native two spirit people, they didn't have gender surgery. They accepted their original bodies and expressed their aspects.

Hey, the guy from Rocky (Burt Young).

Fail of family scene.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Decent ending.

Weak characters.

Something New, 2006: FAIL

Unknown (most likely Potential Profit)

Writer: Sanaa Lathan

Director: Sanaa Hamri

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A friend wants to set up a woman on a blind date.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Black women who don't feel fulfilled until they're with a man. Oh dear.

Fail of bike scene.

Fail of Starbucks scene.

Fail of engagement party scene.

A woman who doesn't like dogs. Burn in hell. Joking…not really.

Fail of landscape scene.

A strong woman who can't handle a spider. Sigh.

A White man doing landscape. That's news to me.

Donald Faison from Scrubs. Nice to see you again.

Fail of brother scene.

Fail of most scenes. This should have been a comedy. Oh wait, Wikipedia says it’s a comedy. Could have fooled me.

Fail of writing.

Good sex scene.

Fail of friends scenes throughout.

Fail of comedy scene.

Fail of office scenes throughout.

Fail of racial tension scenes throughout.

Fail of convenience store.

She dated down. Sad. You always date up after the breakup.

Decent climax scene.

Decent ending.

Invincible, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Brad Gann

Director: Ericson Core

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A wife wants her husband to get a job.

Story: A man wants a better life.

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Hey, the guy from House of Cards (Michael Kelly).

Decent stadium scene.

Ah…useless sports fans. Just die already.

Good backyard scene.

Good house scene.

Good school scene.

Fail of speech scene.

Fail of bar scene.

Perspective from the coach. Really?

Fail of football selection scene.

Fail of slow motion scene.

Ah…the luck of beautiful White people. Lovely.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of house realization scene. Doesn't work.

Fail of media fame scenes.

Good training scenes.

Decent razing scenes for new guy.

Fail of coach cutting scene.

Fail of other coach speech scene.

Fail of date scenes.

Good roommate scene.

Locals who have no hope but football. Oh dear. The day that Hollywood and the entertainment industry dies is the day that sh*t hits the fan.

Fail of father son scene.

Fail of coach player office talk scene.

Fail of car trouble scene. Doesn't work.

Would need to build up the friend character more.

Fail of bar scene.

Pride before the team. Yup, sounds about right.

Decent game scenes throughout.

Good rain game scene.

Fail of speech scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Fail of real life ending.

The film lacked good characters. Fail of writing.

Hoot, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Wil Shriner

Director: Wil Shriner

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Something wants to vandalize an area.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of bus scene.

Fail of police scenes throughout.

Fail of initial school scene.

Fail of bus scene.

Fail of girl scene.

Liberal parents and bullying. Oh dear.

Hey, the guy from Scrubs (Neil Flynn).

Beatrice the bear. Oh dear.

Fail of confrontation scene.

Fail of mother scene.

Fail of blond barefoot kid scenes throughout.

Complete fail of writing.

Fail of bike scene.

Hey, the guy from the Marvel movies (Clark Gregg).

Fail of boss scene.

Fail of hospital scene.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Fail of all scenes.

Decent climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Eight Below, 2006: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: David DiGillio

Director: Frank Marshall

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A scientist wants to find a meteor in the Arctic.

Story: Ambition, Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Paul Walker.

Comments:

Good intro.

Super hot to super cold. Kudos. A good shakeup/renewal for the body.

Oh…the huskies are so cute and loving.

Good poker game scene.

Good husky scenes throughout.

Risking going through the ice. Really? As if.

Decent to good exploration scenes throughout.

Good ice scene.

Good real plot scenes.

Excellent husky scenes throughout.

Very sad scenes. Well done.

Good speech scene.

Good dog whale scene.

No real climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Solid Disney movie and acting. A pleasant surprise.

Catch a Fire, 2006: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Shawn Slovo

Director: Phillip Noyce

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: White people want to rule Black people in South Africa.

Story: Ethics, Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Tim Robbins.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good car scene.

Good party scene.

Excellent police car scene.

Good interrogation scenes throughout.

Good work scenes throughout.

Good arrest scene.

Fail of torture scene.

Fail of breakfast scene. Doesn't make sense.

Good tone to movie.

Good cinematography throughout.

Good training camp scenes.

Good funeral scene.

Good boy cop scene.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Solid movie. Should have made more money.

Hollywoodland, 2006: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Paul Bernbaum

Director: Allen Coulter

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to kill himself.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Ah…classic Hollywood. A conditioning tool for the Illuminati. Just die already.

Fail of motel scene.

Fail of car scene.

Fail of diner scene.

Fail of house interview scene.

Fail of gala scene.

Boring scenes throughout.

Fail of date scenes.

Fail of almost all scenes.

How did this movie get a wide release? Star power.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Glory Road, 2006: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Chris Cleveland, Bettina Gilois, Gregory Allen Howard

Director: James Gartner

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A school wants to win basketball games.

Story: Ambition, Ethics, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Josh Lucas.

Comments:

Good intro.

A man coaching a women's team. Of course.

What idiot would accept the coaching job?

That’s a nice gator.

Accepts a job without looking at the budget. Really? Too unbelievable.

Good recruitment scenes throughout.

Excellent locker room scene.

Never seen a colored boy. Oh dear.

Good cafeteria scene.

Good training scenes throughout.

Decent party scene.

Good game scenes throughout.

Good black party scene.

Decent media coach scene.

Decent bathroom scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Good real life ending scene.

Passed with 3 writers. Kudos.

My Super Ex Girlfriend, 2006: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Don Payne

Director: Ivan Reitman

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A super villain wants revenge on a superwoman.

Story: Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters. Terrible.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Uma Thurman's acting. Not the right actress for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of train scene. Men who can't handle rejection.

Movies about men who just want to get laid. Lovely.

Good office scenes throughout.

Fail of superhero scenes.

If you want to know how NOT to make a super hero movie, this is the movie to watch.

The problems of middle class White men. Lovely.

Fail of museum scene.

Fail of all evil genius scenes throughout. Powerfully stupid.

I would think that a regular man's d*ck would break off in a super woman's vagina.

Fail of capture scene.

Fail of limo scene.

No alarm system. Really?

Fail of date scenes throughout.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

How did this movie get a wide release? Star power.

Fail of backstory scene.

Sucking his finger. Well done.

Women who want to claim their man. Lovely.

Fail of group date scene.

Took his car. Jokes.

Fail of apartment scene.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Fail of shark bed scene.

Fail of super villain scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00 at the box office. The fact that it made over $60 million proves that God does NOT exist.