Hollywood Movie Review Series:

*Movies are in no particular order. Please use Crtl F on your keyboard to find a particular movie. Movies that got a wide release in the year after their first screening are listed in the next year. For example, 300 (2006) is listed in 2007 because it only got a wide release in 2007.

*Don't worry about spoilers. You can read the review of any movie without being afraid of spoilers and enjoy the movie if you watch it. I intentionally made sure not to ruin a movie by revealing a hidden plot or hidden climax scene. I simply pass or fail each scene and comment on them.

The Avengers, 2012: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Joss Whedon

Director: Joss Whedon

Dialogue: Fail

Too many corny lines.

"I sort of met you, I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping." Excellent line, good delivery.

Plot: An evil magician wants to enslave humanity.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Pass

Fail of Loki character.

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Robert Downey Jr. as usual.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Mind control too easy.

Good interrogation scene.

Good banner intro scene.

Good Captain American intro scene.

Good iron man scene.

Bad guy scenes look likes props. Even though they are, I would expect Marvel to do better. Please shoot at 24 FPS with an adequate depth of field. It’s not rocket science.

Terrible Loki costume.

Fail of all Loki/Thor scenes throughout (fail of dialogue and cinematography).

Fail of subjugation scene. Too stupid.

Fail of forest fight scene.

Good banter scenes throughout.

Fail of Thor scenes throughout.

Fail of Romanoff and Loki scene.

Good ship fight scenes.

Good climax scene.

Excellent Hulk/Loki scene.

Yells at him. Jokes.

Good ending.

Barely passable.

This Means War, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Timothy Dowling, Simon Kinberg

Director: Joseph McGinty Nichol

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Terrorists want revenge on CIA agents.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Too corny.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Tom Hardy’s acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of implementation of problem.

Fail of CIA office scene. At least the director is a Black woman. That counts for something.

Fail of street scene.

Fail of shopping scene.

Fail of party scene.

Decent martial arts scene.

Fail of office scene.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Fail of coffee date scene.

Fail of video scene.

Children named before breakfast. Jokes. Might be the best joke in the movie.

Fail of focus group scene.

Fail of CIA office banter scenes throughout.

Fail of all terrorist scenes throughout.

Fail of CIA surveillance scenes.

Terrorist plot is useless. Should have stuck to relationship plot.

Fail of jealousy scene.

Fail of house surveillance scene.

Fail of stripper scene.

Fail of pet scene.

Decent paintball scene.

Fail of interrogation scene.

Decent sex scene.

Fail of family lunch talk scene.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending, but not enough to pass. Slept with her. Jokes.

This movie only got made because of star power. Needed a real comedy writer and better comedy/action actors.

Atlas Shrugged Part II: The Strike, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Duke Sandefur, Brian Patrick O'Toole, Duncan Scott

Director: John Putch

Dialogue: Fail

All dialogue at board meeting is a complete failure. Oh dear god.

Plot: US govt wants a steel company to sell them steel.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of all actors.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Complete fail of all scene transitions. That's an odd thing to fail, but it failed.

Complete fail of all scenes. Epic failure. Fail of writing, directing, acting, music.

The larger plot of Atlas Shrugged should never have been made into a movie.

Affair plot is useless.

The entire scene at the board meeting is a complete failure.

Directive 10-2-89 by US govt is a complete joke. Employees can't quit. Get the f*ck outta here.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made only $3 million proves that God DOES exist.

Men in Black 3, 2012: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Etan Cohen

Director: Barry Sonnenfeld

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: An alien prisoner wants to kill an agent.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Excellent griffin character.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Josh Brolin.

Excellent acting by Etan Cohen.

Comments:

Good intro.

Chewing off chains. That's pretty handy.

A prison in space. Yup, sounds about right and coming soon in the next 20-40 years.

Good partner scene.

Decent funeral scene.

Good car scene.

Good restaurant scene.

A good Illuminati comedy movie.

Good home/work scene.

"Chocolate milk relieves temporal fracture headaches." What? How much did the dairy industry give the studio for that line (including special favors)?

Good building jump scene.

Excellent falling special effects.

Decent elevator scene, could have been better.

Good old MIB office scene.

Excellent realization MIB scene.

Excellent car scene.

Good bowling scene.

How much did it cost to get all of those old cars?

Decent fashion scene.

All future's existing potentially at the same time. Taking a page from new age ideologies.

Good stadium scene.

Good car chase scene.

Good apartment double scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

This was the best MIB movie.

The Bourne Legacy, 2012: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Tony Gilroy, Dan Gilroy

Director: Tony Gilroy

Dialogue: Fail

Weak dialogue throughout.

Plot: CIA wants to end their own assassination program.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Woman scientist character too naïve.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Beautiful wide shot scenery.

Excellent intro.

Excellent use of shots with no dialogue.

Fail of office audit scene. Could have been done better.

Excellent cinematography as usual.

Good office scene.

"Scrap the program but keep the data and science." Yup, sounds about right. That's the major assets. The agents are just test subjects that can be disposed of. Apply this thinking on a larger scale to politicians. Politicians are just useless puppets. It's the regulators/priest class that enforce the corrupt false democracy that are the real players. It's the priests who put the crown on the king's head.

Remember we don't live in a real democracy. We live in a false one. See Philosophy of Governance & Economics in Philosophy Reborn Part I: Purpose.

Philosophy Reborn Part I: Purpose

Decent cabin scene, could have been better.

Fail of end of program scenes.

Excellent missile strike scene.

Excellent forest scenes.

That's one way to deal with a wolf.

Morally indefensible. What a joke.

Good lab scene.

Good flashback scenes.

Good house scene.

Scientists that don't know the real story and working for the enemy. I have little sympathy for such people. Just burn in hell. Even though they’ll probably be rewarded for their efforts in the afterlife. The idea that bad people go to hell is a cruel Illuminati fantasy.

Fail of initial house scene. But it got better after.

Decent car talk scene.

Decent to good office operations scene throughout.

Unbelievable ID tricks on plane. But I’ll let it slide.

Good lab scene.

Excellent flashback scene.

Good climax scene.

Fail of ending.

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2012: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: James Vanderbilt, Alvin Sargent, Steve Kloves

Director: Marc Webb

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A geneticist wants to strengthen the human body.

Story: Ethics, Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Interesting intro.

Fail of school scene.

Good home scene.

Good room scene.

Decent lab scene.

Interesting pass code door lock scene.

Good home scene.

Good gym scene.

Decent robbery scene.

Decent night scene.

Good pre-training scenes.

Fail of home scene.

A kid is cutting a young adult’s fish. Oh dear.

Good rooftop scene.

Good bride scene.

Decent police scene.

Good lizard scene.

Good home scene.

Good school scene.

Throw you out the window. Jokes.

Decent city scene, but garbage music. Citizens operating cranes to help him swing. Lovely.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Passed with 3 writers. Impressive.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Peter Jackson, Guillermo del Toro

Director: Peter Jackson

Dialogue: Fail

Weak dialogue throughout.

Plot: A dragon wants to horde gold.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Martin Freeman.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Beautiful CGI architecture.

A dragon wants the gold? Sorry, but that's beyond suspension of disbelief. Powerfully stupid plot.

Dig a mountain and start a new society. Oh dear.

Good initial Gandalf and Bilbo scene.

Excellent dwarf house scene.

This movie would have been better if the elves didn't look like cartoon characters.

And now we're into a musical.

Funeral arrangements. Jokes.

No good reason for him changing his mind. Sigh.

Fail of flashback battle scene.

Christ, everything looks too real and in-focus. Please shoot at 24 FPS with an adequate depth of field. It’s not rocket science.

Fail of forest wizard scene.

Fail of troll scene. This movie has come a long way from the Lord of the Rings. And not in a good way.

Good castle fortress scene.

Fail of music content throughout.

Fail of wolf chase scene.

Beautiful Riverdale scenery.

Fail of elves scenes.

Magic to hide code only to be revealed on a specific day. Well done. Illuminati methods.

Decent wizard/elves table scene.

Giant rock people fighting. Oh dear.

Fail of cave goblin scene.

Excellent Baggins/Smeagol scene.

Good fat goblin scene. Jokes.

Decent Bilbo/dwarf speech scene.

Fail of climax fight scene.

Sorry, but the CGI birds are not cute.

Good ending.

Decent characters, but the garbage dialogue and lack of depth of field destroys everything. Fail of writing and directing.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

The Dark Knight Rises, 2012: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Jonathan Nolan, Christopher Nolan

Director: Christopher Nolan

Dialogue: Pass

"But you understand only money, and the power you think it buys." Good line, fail in delivery.

"Oh, you think darkness is your ally? But you merely adopted the dark. I was born in it. Molded by it." Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: A terrorist wants to destroy a city.

Story: Character

Characters: Pass

Excellent Bane character.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Tom Hardy.

Comments:

Excellent plane intro.

Excellent light music chant. Holy f*ck.

Good house maid scene.

Good Alfred/Wayne scenes.

Good bar scene.

Good sewer scene.

Decent cop house scene. I was expecting something else, but...

Decent hospital scene.

Good charity ball scene.

Excellent wife bit. See, a dark movie with a bit of comedy. Well done.

Good Wayne Enterprises scenes.

Good batman underground scenes.

Fail of stock market attack scene. Doesn't make sense.

Excellent initial batman scene.

A fingerprint. Really?

Fail of Bruce/Alfred scene in cave and upstairs.

Fail of green energy fusion power plot.

Excellent Bane house scene.

"Do you feel in charge?" Well done.

Decent house sex scene.

Excellent underground fight scene. Very well done.

Excellent airport scene.

Excellent dungeon pit scenes.

Excellent football scene.

Fail of state of living after. A bit too unbelievable.

Good Ducard memory scene.

Excellent batman return scene.

Excellent police march scene with excellent music.

Excellent music content throughout. This is the composer you want for your blockbuster movie.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Cloud Atlas, 2012: FAIL

Epic commercial Failure

Writer: Lana Wachowski, Lilly Wachowski, Tom Tykwer

Director: Lana Wachowski, Lilly Wachowski, Tom Tykwer

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Two people want to be together.

Story: Relationships, Character, Ethics, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Excellent suicide scene.

Fail of slave, hippie, publisher, forest future plots throughout.

Excellent non-linear plot, but it needs a full TV series to flush it out. Decent dystopia.

Excellent narration throughout.

Fail of elevator scene.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of dystopian realization scene. But too unbelievable for most.

Efficiency at its best without morals.

Decent culmination climax scene.

Decent ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Safe, 2012: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Boaz Yakin

Director: Boaz Yakin

Dialogue: Pass

"You think you can blackmail me because you have Vassily? Kill him and go to hell." Good line, excellent delivery.

"He's in the hospital d*ckhead. You broke his trachea." "I didn't know a trachea could break." Decent line, excellent delivery.

Plot: Mobsters want to capture a girl.

Story: Character, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting all around.

Excellent acting by Anson Mount.

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent little girl scenes throughout.

Good house scene.

Good dirty cop scenes throughout.

Good cop meeting building scene.

Excellent subway platform scene.

Characters a bit too unbelievable, but I’ll let it slide.

Excellent fight scenes throughout.

Excellent chase scene.

Good hotel scene.

Good shootout scene throughout.

Excellent Russian son capture scene.

Good safe attack scene.

Decent climax scene.

Good ending.

This movie should have made more money.

Django Unchained, 2012: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Quentin Tarantino

Director: Quentin Tarantino

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A bounty hunter wants to kill people.

Story: Ethics, Ambition

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Leonardo DiCaprio.

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent night fight scene.

Excellent bar scene.

Good execution scene.

Good explanations scene.

Good music content.

Good farm execution scene.

Good attempted death scene.

Excellent cinematography.

Good training/partner scenes throughout.

Black slaves fighting for money. The sad history of humanity.

Excellent entrance scenes.

Excellent dinner talk scene.

Excellent pre-climax fight scene.

Smitty Bacall. "Who the f*ck is Smitty Bacall?" Jokes. Very well done.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Solid movie.

The Hunger Games, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Suzanne Collins, Gary Ross, Billy Ray

Director: Gary Ross

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A corrupt government wants to control the people.

Story: Ambition, Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of dystopian future.

Decent forest scene.

Fail of city official scene. Too stupid. I couldn't appreciate it because I see this movie as a rip off of from the Japanese book/film series Battle Royale.

Future is too unbelievable. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Fail of train scene.

Fail of welcoming scene. Again, everything is too stupid.

Fail of training scenes.

Well done for the massive media presence. Propaganda is essential to enslavement.

Watching youth trying to kill each other. Well done Hollywood. That's clearly what we need.

Nice human bonding scenes, but doesn't work here. The only exception is with Ruth.

Fail of rebellion scene. Should have rebelled a long time ago.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

The fact that this movie makes over $600 million is disturbing.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Safe House, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: David Guggenheim

Director: Daniel Espinosa

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: CIA wants to kill a rogue agent.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Interesting safe house scenes.

Good restaurant scene.

Good office scenes throughout.

Excellent safe house interrogation scenes throughout.

Good safe house attack scene.

Good chase scene.

Fail of all scenes after.

Concept didn't work. Needed more than 2 main people.

Doesn't make sense that they couldn't get a tactical team ASAP.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Argo, 2012: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Chris Terrio

Director: Ben Affleck

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Iranians want to take over a US embassy in Iran.

Story: Ambition, Survival

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting all around.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good anti-American scenes throughout.

Excellent embassy scenes throughout.

Ah…the old CIA. Interesting to watch.

Good intel scenes throughout.

Excellent bar idea scene.

Good house talk scene.

Good script solution scenes throughout.

Good street van scene.

Good airport scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Impressive since this was based on a true story.

Savages, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Shane Salerno, Oliver Stone, Don Winslow

Director: Oliver Stone

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue.

Plot: A Mexican drug cartel wants to take over a US marijuana operation.

Story: Ambition, Purpose, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Benicio del Toro.

Fail of Selma Hayek’s acting.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Afghanistan cannabis? Meet legal cannabis in Canada in 2018 (at the federal level). Bob Marley would be proud.

Smoking Marijuana Is Legal in Canada, Unless You're South Korean

Always nice to see how the illegal marijuana industry operates, even though everyone already knows.

Good negotiation scene.

Fail of party scene.

Decent sex scenes.

Fail of music content throughout.

Fail of abduction scene.

Fail of transport scene.

Fail of car scene issue.

Fail of mod squad analysis.

Fail of attack car scene.

Beating up a woman. That's not cool. But an accurate scene nonetheless.

Fail of all attack scenes after.

Fail of dinner scene.

Too much narration. Beginning narration good, but the rest not needed.

Fail of torture scene.

Fail of agent scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Almost as if the movie was made just so male celebrities could get laid. Sometimes, pretend sex on-camera turns into real sex off-camera. Either before or after shooting.

Skyfall, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Neal Purvis, Robert Wade, John Logan

Director: Sam Mendes

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A terrorist wants to leak names of NATO operatives.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro mission scene. Very well done.

Excellent train scene.

Good MI6 office scene.

Fail of all beach scenes. Doesn't make sense.

Excellent coffin flag shot. Well done.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of training scenes. It could work, but feels off. What is he, a new agent?

"Hire me or fire me." What?

Bringing him out of retirement? Didn’t he just become a double O?

Good museum scene.

Fail of China building scene.

Good hotel scene.

Fail of Macau casino scenes.

Ah…boat sex. I don't think it's that good. But sex at 30,000 ft in the air? That's a different story. Aside from the radiation of course. Not exactly the best place to conceive a child.

Fail of island scenes.

Good spread legs gay innuendo scene.

Good holding cell scene.

Good escape scenes.

Fail of testimony scene. Propaganda for UK intelligence.

Good car change scene. the only funny moment.

Odd that it shifts to his childhood. Audience wasn't primed for it. And no, the mention of skyfall by the psychiatrist isn't enough.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Fail of writing.

Snow White and the Huntsman (Extended), 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Evan Daugherty, John Lee Hancock, Hossein Amini

Director: Rupert Sanders

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: An evil queen wants to rule a throne and live forever.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of narrated intro.

Good battle scene.

Good marriage scene.

Good dungeon scenes throughout.

Fail of attempted assassin scene.

Excellent mirror character scenes throughout.

Good forest scene.

Weak dialogue throughout.

Could have been better without the stupid monsters.

Good dwarf scenes throughout.

Fail of speech scene.

The only good scenes are the mirror. The rest is garbage.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

The Expendables 2, 2012: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Sylvester Stallone, Richard Wenk

Director: Simon West

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Terrorists want to find plutonium.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Weak characters.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Yu Nan’s acting. At least they were kind enough to throw in another visible minority. That counts for something.

Fail of Chuck Norris’ acting.

Fail of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s acting.

Comments:

Decent intro mission. But again, I don't want to see of these actors talking about gun control laws.

Decent plane scene.

Good bar scene.

Black is too colorful. Jokes.

Fail of talking scene.

Fail of plane scene.

Fail of group scene attack.

Nice to see Jean Claude Van Damme in action again.

Symbol of the goat. Oh dear.

Fail of mining scenes.

Fail of train talk scene.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of room scene.

Fail of man/woman talk scene.

Nice to see Chuck Norris in action again. But still a failure.

Fail of street scene.

Woman with guns. That's very sexy (no sarcasm intended). I like an empowered woman.

Fail of church scene.

Fail of mining scene.

Arnold. Nuff said.

Fail of pre-climax scene.

Fail of climax fight scene.

Fail of ending.

The Dictator, 2012: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Sacha Baron Cohen, Alec Berg, David Mandel, Jeff Schaffer

Director: Larry Charles

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A dictator wants to develop nuclear weapons.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Another stupid funny movie. Christ.

The characters are garbage, but let's hope the comedy is passable.

Fail of all royalty scene.

Fail of bomb facility scene.

Fail of protest scene.

Fail of torture scene.

Fail of UN scene.

Ah…liberal feminists proving that they're not racist by dating or screwing visible minorities. Works for me.

Fail of all scenes. Every scene is complete garbage.

The only good scene in this movie is the helicopter scene.

The only excellent scene is the Asian guy making fun of his wife. Very well done.

The Dictator 2012 - Eddie Norton/Chinese Wife Scene

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2, 2012: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Melissa Rosenberg

Director: Bill Condon

Dialogue: Pass

"You nicknamed my daughter after the Lockness monster?" Decent line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A vampire council wants to kill a vampire child.

Story: Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good credits intro.

Fail of forest/cliff scene.

CGI baby is not cute. A bit creepy.

Excellent angry Bella house/outside scene. Well done.

Good house scenes throughout.

Good sex scene.

Fail of dad house scene.

Excellent arm wrestling scene.

Thank god the creepy CGI baby is gone. I was getting scared.

Fail of council scene.

And a new plot has been created. A bit forced but...

Beautiful aerial shots.

Good family witness scenes throughout.

Good training scenes.

Good cinematography throughout.

Good car scene.

A Black man. Wow. I wasn't expecting that.

Good campfire scenes.

Good pre-battle scenes.

Good battle music content.

The guy with the long face (Christopher Heyerdahl) looks funny. Jokes.

And now he's scared of that? Doesn’t make sense. Lazy writing. Uses that as pretext to bend the rules. Really? Lazy writing.

Good climax battle scenes.

J.D. Pardo as the half Native man/half vampire. That wouldn't play well with Aboriginals in Canada. But he's Argentinean and El Salvadorian, so I’ll give it a pass.

Good ending.

Zero Dark Thirty, 2012: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Mark Boal

Director: Kathryn Bigelow

Dialogue: Pass

"Abu Akmed is too smart to tip his hand by talking about ops on the phone. He works for Bin Laden. The guys that talk about ops on the phone don't get that job." Excellent line, fail in delivery.

Plot: Muslim terrorists want to kill westerners.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good interrogation scenes throughout.

Good flat tone.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Good intel scenes throughout.

Fail of blow up meeting scene.

20 leaders, only eliminated 4. It doesn't matter if you’ve eliminated all 20. A new generation of Muslim extremists will just take their place. Religious ideology runs very deep. And no, that ideology cannot be educated out of a person. It can only be replaced with another unfalsifiable ideology. See Philosophy of Religion in Philosophy Reborn Part I: Purpose.

Philosophy Reborn Part I: Purpose

Good director/agent blow up scene. Well done.

Good boardroom strategy scene.

Good hangar talk scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid characters. Not the best, but solid.

Wrath of the Titans, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Dan Mazeau, David Leslie Johnson

Director: Jonathan Liebesman

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue.

Plot: An evil god wants to be free.

Story: Character, Ambition, Survival

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Rosamund Pike’s acting.

Fail of Édgar Ramírez’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of lonely island scenes.

Fail of god attack scene.

Ah…the traitor, of course.

Fail of all attack/fight scenes throughout. Too stupid.

Fail of leadership strategy scene.

Fail of all scenes. Complete fail of all writing.

Always nice to see that the gods are all White. God forbid a visible minority god. Hollywood whitewashing (also known as racism) at its best.

At least the flying horse is Black. That counts for something.

Good special effects.

Fail of forest giant attack scene.

So, the moral of the story is to let beautiful White people (who have royal blood in their veins) save us. Well done Hollywood. Typical Illuminati movie.

Fail of music content throughout.

Ah...Zeus, you almost look like Christ in those chains. Or is it the other way around?

Fail of cave fight scene.

Fail of climax battle scene.

Fail of ending.

Taken 2, 2012: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen

Director: Olivier Megaton

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Sex traffickers want revenge.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting overall.

Comments:

Fail of funeral intro.

Fail of car obsession scene.

Decent house scene.

Good car scene.

Excellent interrogation scene.

Good friends scene.

Excellent vacation/hotel scene.

Excellent first abduction attempt.

Excellent fight scenes throughout.

Excellent transport scene.

Good interrogation scenes throughout.

Excellent daughter empowered scenes. Very well done.

Excellent father/daughter instructions scene.

Excellent car scenes throughout.

Took him a bit too long to reach her, but I’ll let that go.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

This is 40, 2012: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Judd Apatow

Director: Judd Apatow

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A husband and wife want a better life.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Good yoga scene.

It doesn't stay hard forever, aside from the male gigolos.

Sitting down on a fire hydrant. Oh dear. Very sad.

Good toilet scene.

Good family scenes throughout.

Farting in bed. It's a natural function. If she can't handle it, let her go. You should have known when you were dating.

Triplets. Jokes.

Good parents scene.

Hey, the guy from 3rd Rock from the Sun (John Lithgow). Nice to see you.

Good car talk about kids scene.

Good vacation scene.

Good mother child outdoor scene. “I'll f*ck you up.” Jokes.

Good club scene.

Good house blowup scenes throughout.

Excellent parent school blowup scene.

Good principal scene.

Good pool scene.

"Can't use up a Jew card." Jokes.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

Total Recall (Extended), 2012: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Kurt Wimmer, Mark Bomback

Director: Len Wiseman

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Govt wants to crush rebels.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Colin Farrell.

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Jessica Biel from 7th Heaven? Wow. Nice to see you. Where have you been?

Interesting dystopian future. It can work. Pushing suspension of disbelief, but I’ll let it go for now.

Good machine building scenes. Gotta love the irony.

Decent office scene.

Beginning is a bit slow.

Usual red light district for dystopian movies.

Good tech attack scene.

Good wife attack scene.

Good escape scene.

Good music content.

I think this is one of Colin Farrell’s best movies.

Excellent car chase scene.

This movie looks very expensive.

Interesting real plot.

Good confrontation black guy scene.

Good chase scenes throughout.

Good elevator fight scene.

Good meeting scene.

Good attack scene.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Should have made more money. The fact that it didn't proves that God does NOT exist.

Battleship, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jon Hoeber, Erich Hoeber

Director: Peter Berg

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Extraterrestrials want to destroy military targets.

Story: Ethics, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of robbery scene.

Fail of house scene.

Kick the face. Damn.

A f*ck up. But at least he gets the girl.

Fail of fight scene.

Fail of all ship scenes.

Character and discipline building doesn't work.

Fail of woman scenes helping injured vets.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing. Too predictable.

Excellent shots of ET vessels.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Excellent special effects throughout.

Just so you know, a real alien invasion won't come from above. It will come from infiltration from within. That's assuming humanity has (at some point in history) ruled themselves without extraterrestrial influence. Food for thought.

Conspiracy Theorist Series 101

A barrier. Not bad. Would have made more sense to put it around all military bases, but good enough.

Ah…brain dead soldiers who can't survive without orders. Not exactly the high point for humanity.

Excellent ET spinning attack spheres. That's a good idea.

Excellent sphere baseball diamond scene. Very well done.

The extraterrestrials are White-skinned. Really? Is there no diversity anywhere in the universe? Hollywood racism at its best.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Post-production must have eaten up the production budget.

Another Illuminati bad alien vs. good military movie. Just so you know, the militaries around the world are controlled by the Deep State/Illuminati. If you think that your elected govt creates policy, you're way too green.

Conspiracy Theory Introduction Series 101

Dark Shadows, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Seth Grahame-Smith

Director: Tim Burton

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A witch wants to curse a man.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Johnny Depp as usual.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good curse scene.

Fail of housemaid scenes throughout.

Fail of writing. The two plots don't work.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of coffin opening scene.

Fail of tone of movie. Doesn't work for a comedy.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Good breakfast scene.

Hey, the guy who played Count Dooku in Star Wars and Saruman in The Lord of the Rings (Christopher Lee).

15 and no husband. Birthing hips. Jokes.

Fail of music content.

Fail of office sex scene.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of backstory girl scene.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

Dredd, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Alex Garland

Director: Pete Travis

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of dialogue.

Plot: A gang wants to control the drug trade.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters just terrible.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Karl Urban’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

My first impression upon seeing the eagle on the building is Nazi Germany.

Fail of road scene.

I thought that was Karl Urban’s voice (from Star Trek and RED movies). Shame it’s complete garbage acting. Fail of all Karl Urban scenes throughout, which is pretty much the entire movie.

Fail of mall scene.

Is that Anne Hathaway? Nope. My bad. It’s Olivia Thirlby. Must be the Illuminati genetic cloning program.

A new power. Oh dear. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of trippy slow motion shots throughout.

Fail of slow motion attack scene.

Fail of all ma-ma scenes throughout. Just terrible.

Blast shields. What?

Complete fail of every scene. Fail of writing. Oh dear god.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Fail of mental scene.

And the plot thickens.

Fail of hunting scenes.

Fail of writing, directing, acting, music content.

Fail of execution scene. He should have known.

Impressive field dressing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $40 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Act of Valor, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Kurt Johnstad

Director: Mike McCoy, Scott Waugh

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue. Complete garbage.

Plot: Terrorists want to kill people.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Ah yes, only the American military can save the day. Oh please.

Beating the sh*t out of a woman to fun loving music. That's not cool.

Fail of narration throughout.

Fail of beach speech scene.

Fail of cinematography.

Fail of intel/op scenes throughout.

Fail of rescue scenes throughout.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing. Complete garbage.

Fail of writing, directing, cinematography, acting.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Nice car escape scene.

Fail of Russian prep scenes throughout.

Fail of shop scene.

Fail of ship infiltration scene.

Fail of music content.

Fail negotiation talk scene.

Fail of attack op scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $80 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Most money was mode domestically. US public loves war movies and their military with absolute devotion. Classic propaganda.

Looper, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Rian Johnson

Director: Rian Johnson

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Criminals want to get rid of bodies.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Floating quarters. That’s the norm? What?

Fail of plot. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of apartment scene.

Fail of office talk scene.

Interesting but too stupid.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of dystopian future.

Fail of most farm scenes.

Fail of house boy attack scene.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Good climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

Magic Mike, 2012: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Reid Carolin

Director: Steven Soderbergh

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A male stripper wants a better life.

Story: Character, Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Doesn't remember her name. Too cruel.

Good work scenes throughout.

Excellent home scenes throughout.

You do what you gotta do for the money.

Good bar scene.

Excellent prep/talk scenes throughout.

Excellent stripper scenes throughout.

I had no idea male stripping was big business. You learn something new every day.

Excellent sorority strip scene. Holy f*ck.

Excellent climax scene.

Good ending.

Kudos on the slim $7 million production budget. Very well done.

Almost as if the movie was made just so male celebrities could get laid. Sometimes, pretend sex on-camera turns into real sex off-camera. Either before or after shooting.

Hit and Run, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Dax Shepard

Director: David Palmer, Dax Shepard

Dialogue: Fail

"I wasn't f*cked by a Black guy...okay" Good line and delivery.

Plot: A teacher wants to take a job in another state.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of idiot agent scenes throughout.

Fail of talking office scene.

Fail of home scene.

Hey, the guy that played Lex Luther on Smallville (Michael Rosenbaum). You keep popping up in these small roles. Kudos.

Fail of cop scenes throughout.

Fail of all scenes. Too stupid. Fail of writing and directing.

Fail of ex-boyfriend car scene.

Fail of White guy and Black guy fight.

Putting a collar on a Black guy. Maybe you don't know this, but in the slavery days, Black people had metal collars around their neck.

Portsmouth group shares slavery-era collar with Richmond museum to raise awareness

Fail of White guy with dreads scenes throughout.

Decent to fail car talk scenes.

Fail of motel scene.

Fail of car chase.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

Haywire, 2011 Haywire, 2012: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Lem Dobbs

Director: Steven Soderbergh

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: An intelligence agency wants to capture an agent.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent diner intro. Wow.

Good flashback scenes.

Fail of intel flashback scenes.

Good mission op scenes throughout.

Excellent empowered woman. My dream wife.

Excellent hotel fight scene.

Good escape chase scenes.

Excellent fight scenes throughout.

Good climax scene.

Excellent explanation scenes.

Good ending.

I liked it. A different approach for an espionage movie.

Should have made more money. The fact that it didn't proves that God does NOT exist.

21 Jump Street, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Michael Bacall

Director: Phil Lord, Christopher Miller

Dialogue: Fail

A few good spots of dialogue, but not enough to pass it.

Plot: Someone wants to deal fatal drugs to people.

Story: Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Fail of principal character.

Fail of crazy female teacher.

Fail of gym teacher.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Ice Cube.

Comments:

Fail intro past and present.

I wonder how much the music clearance bill cost?

Cops on bikes. Oh dear god.

Beat your d*ck off. Very well done. But stupid funny can only go so far.

Excellent church scene.

Decent home scene.

Excellent initial school scene.

Gay when you punched me. Well done.

Fail of classroom scenes.

Fail of drug scene.

Fail on montage scene.

Fail of drug classroom scene, powerfully stupid.

Fail of next church scene.

Fail of house party.

Fail of other scenes.

Fail of gang car scene.

Fail of highway chase.

Fail of stage performance.

Fail of climax scene, powerfully stupid.

Fail of slow motion scene.

Good limo scene, but could have been better.

I didn’t see the cop ask permission from the woman if he could kiss her. He just grabbed her and did it. She was too emotionally compromised to say no. I don’t think the MeToo movement would approve.

Chronicle, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Max Landis

Director: Josh Trank

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Teenagers want a better life.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all writing.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of car scene.

Filming everything. Sure, that's not creepy.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of cave scene. Too stupid.

Fail of all scenes. Complete garbage. Fail of writing.

Good teddy bear girl scene.

Fail of all flying scenes throughout. Too stupid.

Fail of stage performance scene.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of father/son scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close. The fact that it made over $100 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Contraband, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Aaron Guzikowski

Director: Baltasar Kormakur

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Drug dealers want to kill a smuggler.

Story: Family

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Mark Wahlberg as usual.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of bar scene.

Decent hospital scene.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of motel scene. Doesn't make sense. What is this small time crap?

Fail of jail scenes throughout.

Fail of solution. They went from small time to big time in a few days. Really?

Fail of all ship scenes throughout.

Very expected home scene while he's gone. What is this, amateur hour by the former professional?

Starch free paper. Oh dear. Amateur hour again.

Fail of cinematography. Picture is too dark for a good deal of the movie.

Dumb question, why does it look like they're wearing duct tape on their faces? Is that to cover them? Won't do much for the bullets.

Fail of theft police scene.

Interesting method of transport.

Fail of office talk scene.

Slamming a woman's head against a mirror. That’s not cool. Well done Hollywood.

And now his good friend wants a piece of her. Of course.

Fail of climax scene.

Interesting money solution.

Fail of ending.

Here Comes the Boom, 2012: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Allan Loeb, Kevin James

Director: Frank Coraci

Dialogue: Pass

"Who keeps ex-lax in their back pocket?" "I had a situation" "You're a situation." Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: A principal wants to cut school programs.

Story: Relationships, Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Good school scenes throughout.

Good teacher auditorium scene.

Good basketball scene.

Good workshop scene.

Good cage fight scenes throughout.

Goes to exercise bike. Jokes.

The Asian girl is correct, school is a waste of time. It only has social value. The rest can be learned online. And that social value doesn't apply to everyone equally, especially the students who don't want to socialize.

Throws up on the guy. Jokes.

Good home date scene.

Joe Rogan. Wow. How does he keep appearing in these small roles? Well done sir.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid comedy movie.

Jack Reacher 2012 Jack Reacher, 2012: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Christopher McQuarrie

Director: Christopher McQuarrie

Dialogue: Pass

"Look at the people. You tell me which ones are free. Free from debt, anxiety, stress, fear, failure, indignity, betrayal." Excellent line, fail in delivery.

Plot: Someone wants to kill random people.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent tone of the movie.

Good investigative scenes.

Good past scenes of Reacher intro.

Good hospital scene.

Good cafe scene.

Good past sniper scenes.

Good house scene.

Good past crime scenes.

The slow place actually works in the movie's favor.

Decent father/daughter scene.

Good crime evidence scene.

Good bar scene.

Good realistic bar fight scene.

Good holding scene.

Good past victim scenes.

Good motel scene.

Fail of secret meeting scene.

Decent sandy auto scene.

"Just what girls like me do." Patriarchal conditioning at its best.

Fail of house attack scene. Would they really use idiots to clean up?

Decent office scene. Would have been better without the sh*tty music content.

Fail of car/house scene.

"That's our suspect." Really?

Good car chase.

Gives him his hat. Jokes.

Good range scene.

Fail of father office scene. Doesn't work.

Fail of pre-climax scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of bus ending.

Weak climax and ending but still passable.

John Carter, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Andrew Stanton, Mark Andrews, Michael Chabon

Director: Andrew Stanton

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Aliens want to rule Mars.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

From Mars to late 19th century. Seriously?

Fail of all scenes. Complete fail of writing.

The ability of giant leaps. Seriously?

Complete fail of music content.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Made a sh*tload of money in Russia. Yup, sounds about right.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $250 million proves that God does NOT exist.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Journey 2: Mysterious Island, 2012: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Brian Gunn, Mark Gunn

Director: Brad Peyton

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A boy wants to find his grandfather.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Ah…the pissed off privileged White boy. Lovely.

Mid-high income White parents, you need to start spanking your children.

Decent upstairs bonding scene.

$1000.00 USD would help with college. Really?

Good plane scene.

A baby elephant? A giant lizard? Moving beyond suspension of disbelief.

Good Caine/Johnson banter.

Good boy/girl scenes.

Excellent chest bounce scene.

Good adventure scenes throughout.

Decent bee scene.

Good campfire scene.

Good underwater scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid family movie.

Killing Them Softly, 2012: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Andrew Dominik

Director: Andrew Dominik

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Thieves want to rob from a poker game.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of flashback scene.

Fail of car talk scenes throughout.

Fail of robbery scene.

Too stupid, even though White trash idiots are stupid.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

How did this garbage movie get a wide release?

Fail of explanation scene.

Fail of bar talk scene.

Fail of hotel room talk scene. Way too long.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

The writer relied too heavily on dialogue.

Lawless, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Nick Cave

Director: John Hillcoat

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue.

Plot: A group of guys want to sell moonshine.

Story: Character, Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Tom Hardy’s acting.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Killing a pig with a gun. That's how sociopaths are created.

Good bridge scene.

Good delivery scenes throughout. Well done for a period piece.

Good alley fight scene.

Good moonshine production from young guy.

Fail of cop scene.

Fail of night group scene.

Good church scene.

Fail of beating up forest scene.

Good bar fight scene. Iron knuckles. Well done. But fail of all scenes after.

Good drive scene with woman.

Very sad forest scene. Well done.

Fail of music content.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

This movie could have worked with a better writer and better main actor.

Lockout, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Stephen Saint Leger, James Mather, Luc Besson

Director: Stephen Saint Leger, James Mather

Dialogue: Fail

Garbage dialogue.

Plot: Prisoners want to escape from a prison.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Guy Pearce, but not enough to pass.

Fail of Maggie Grace's acting.

Comments:

Excellent intro, but the rest of the movie is complete garbage.

Fail of train capture scene.

Fail of dystopian future. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Prisoners in space. What could go wrong?

A super hot woman and president's daughter inspecting prisons. Really? Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of all space battle scene throughout.

"I'd rather castrate myself with blunt rocks." Nuff said.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Mirror Mirror, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Marc Klein, Jason Keller

Director: Tarsem Singh

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue.

Plot: A queen wants to inherit a throne.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Julia Roberts’ acting.

Comments:

Fail of animated intro.

Fail of castle scenes throughout.

Fail of dwarf scene.

Good capture scene.

Fail of weird costume. Fail of directing. Art department does what the director tells them.

Fail of almost all scenes. Too weird.

Fail of all mirror scenes.

Fail of all Snow White scenes.

Complete failure of writing, directing, acting.

Just a question, can Snow White ever be a visible minority? That’s the sound of Hollywood laughing.

Fail of insect massage scene.

"I can feel you smiling." Jokes.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of dwarf training scenes throughout.

Garbage pedophilia Disney movie. Lovely.

35 Disney Employees Arrested On Child Sex Charges In Less Than 10 Years

Two Disney World employees among 17 arrested in Florida child-sex sting, sheriff says

Weak comedy throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Fail of dance ending.

Parental Guidance, 2012: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Lisa Addario, Joe Syracuse

Director: Andy Fickman

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: An executive wants to fire a sports announcer.

Story: Character, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Bette Midler.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good home scenes throughout.

Excellent Midler/Crystal banter throughout.

Excellent difference in parenting scenes throughout.

Good restaurant scene.

Destroying the sandwiches. Jokes.

Ah…liberals and their therapists for children. Big business.

Good school scenes throughout.

Highly educated liberal teachers teaching your children? F*ck that. Run for the hills.

Eating the cake. Jokes.

Russian music teachers. Jokes.

Good bathroom scene.

Excellent symphony scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid family movie.

Project X (Extended), 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Matt Drake, Michael Bacall

Director: Nima Nourizadeh

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Teenagers want a better life.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of school scene. Put a knife to his throat, slam his head against the locker and say "if you tell the principal, then me and everyone else will know that you're a f*ckin pussy."

Boner in the locker room. Jokes.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of weed scene.

Is there a point to this movie or is it just regular high school life?

Lovely party scene.

Who punches a kid? People who beat their wives. Nuff said.

Fail of police scene.

Fail of all scenes. Too stupid.

There's no point to this movie.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Should have been direct to video/streaming.

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, 2012: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Lorene Scafaria

Director: Lorene Scafaria

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Two people want to survive the end of the world.

Story: Character, Relationships, Survival

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Just runs out of the car. Jokes.

Stupid plot.

Good housekeeper scenes throughout.

Good last day scenes throughout.

Good party scene.

Decent bathroom scene.

In the end, there will always be a lot of lonely people.

No panic rooms or steel walls like The Purge?

Good weird car scenes throughout.

Decent restaurant scene.

Good jail scene.

Decent climax scene.

Good ending. .

I can understand why this movie didn't make much money.

Playing for Keeps, 2012: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Robbie Fox

Director: Gabriele Muccino

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A divorced father wants a better life.

Story: Character, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Gerard Butler.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good father/son scenes throughout.

Good soccer scenes throughout.

Excellent ex-wife house talk scene.

Excellent rain scene.

Good music content.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

I liked this movie. Should have made more money.

Life of Pi, 2012:PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: David Magee

Director: Ang Lee

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A boy wants to understand God.

Story: Character, Survival

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of pool scene.

Didn't need the reporter guy.

Good table scene.

Good initial tiger scene.

Beautiful scenery throughout.

Excellent cinematography.

Excellent music content.

Good accident scenes throughout.

Boat unbelievable, but the tone of the movie and characters make it work.

Excellent tiger boat scenes throughout.

Excellent tiger/water boat scene.

The tiger is so loving and cute.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

Powerful movie.

Red Tails, 2012: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: John Ridley, Aaron McGruder

Director: Anthony Hemingway, George Lucas

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: White military officials want to shut down a Black fighter jet program.

Story: Character, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Terrence Howard.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good plane scenes throughout.

Is that a Black Jesus. Jokes.

Excellent speech scene.

A Black man and an Italian woman? I wonder what's worse for an Italian family? A daughter with a Black man or a son that’s gay. Tough choice.

Hey, the guy from House of Cards (Gerald McRaney). Nice to see you.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Movie is a tough sell. But it’s based on a true story. I wonder if it would have made more money with Denzel Washington.

Kudos to George Lucas for pushing this movie. Would have made more money if it got a foreign release.

Seven Psychopaths, 2012: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Martin McDonagh

Director: Martin McDonagh

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A murderer wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Ah...the life of a writer.

Murderers who feel for animals? That actually makes sense. Hitler loved animals.

Oh, the bunnies are so cute.

Good hospital scene.

Shooting a woman in broad daylight. Really?

Fail of all car talk scenes throughout.

A movie about a writer creating a story. Sigh.

Fail of all scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

What normal person threatens to kill a dog? That's not cool.

Fail of ending.

Silver Linings Playbook, 2012: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: David O. Russell

Director: David O. Russell

Dialogue: Pass

Fail of Jennifer Lawrence’s dialogue throughout.

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Solid characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Bradley Cooper as usual.

Comments:

Good intro.

Chris Tucker. Wow. What a blast from the past.

Good car scene.

Excellent parent scenes throughout.

Excellent home scenes throughout.

Good freak out scenes throughout.

Ah…psychiatrists medicating people for life. I hope there's a special place in hell for these people.

Excellent therapy scenes throughout.

Good flashback scene.

Excellent friend scenes throughout.

Excellent dinner scene.

Excellent running scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Excellent writing, especially for the parents characters.

Ted, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild

Director: Seth MacFarlane

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of dialogue throughout.

Plot: A couple wants a better life.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters except Ted.

Acting: Pass

Excellent voice acting by Seth MacFarlane.

Comments:

Decent intro.

And we're at the suspension of disbelief from the get go. Christ. I guess I’ll have to let it slide.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of bedroom scene.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of restaurant scene.

fail of apartment scene.

A White couple can't pick sh*t off the floor? That's how you know that you're not ready for children.

Fail of shit scene.

Fail of park scene.

Good grocery store scene.

And we're at a sex scene.

Animals screwing people. Powerfully disturbing.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of fart scene.

Fail of party scene.

Excellent Flash Gordon intro scene, but not enough to pass this movie.

Good Jews/Italian restaurant joke. Well done.

Fail of Asian party scene.

Fail of office scene.

Good bear fight scene. Well done not to use music.

Ah…those heavy ass TVs. I remember lugging the super old fashioned big one with the knob up a flight of stairs alone.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending, but not enough to pass.

Good Patrick Stewart end narration scene.

Powerfully stupid movie. The fact that this movie was a Epic Commercial Success proves the bar is at an all time low.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

That's My Boy, 2012: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: David Caspe

Director: Sean Anders

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A teacher wants to have sex with a student.

Story: Character, Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent slutty teacher scene.

Excellent theatre scene.

That's a lot of background extras.

Fail of court scene. Everything went downhill from there.

Hey, the guy from Heroes (Milo Ventimiglia). Nice to see you. Been a long time.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of all scenes with Adam Sandler. Just terrible.

Fail of all father/son scenes throughout.

Fail of all wedding prep scenes throughout.

Decent prison scene.

Excellent climax scene. It's worth watching this movie just for this scene. But it's available on YouTube.

That's My Boy (2012) - Broken Wedding Scene (10/10) | Movieclips

Fail of ending.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, 2012: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Ol Parker

Director: John Madden

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A group of people want a better life.

Story: Character, Relationships, Ambition

Characters: Pass

Good characters all around.

Excellent use of racist old woman character.

I felt that the Sonny Kapoor character was a bit too much.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Maggie Smith.

Excellent acting by Dev Patel.

Comments:

Decent intro.

"I want an English doctor." That's a real thing.

Video shows woman demand a 'white doctor' treat son at Mississauga, Ont., clinic

Good hip hop music for restaurant scene.

Ah…the UK health system and the waiting list. As Canadians, we know all about the waiting lists with our garbage public health care system. If you have to go under the knife in the UK or Canada, make sure that you get your affairs in order prior.

Decent scenes throughout.

Good airport scene.

Good initial India scene.

Good India hotel scenes.

Odd that these White people were suckered, but…

Ah…the magic of India. I’ll take your word for it.

Outsource old age. Jokes.

Blue sky thinking. Jokes.

Excellent narration throughout.

Excellent old woman wheelchair scene talk.

Excellent burial scenes.

Excellent couple talk after burial.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

One of the best movies of all time.

Continued in Part 2.