Hollywood Movie Review Series:

*Movies are in no particular order. Please use Crtl F on your keyboard to find a particular movie. Movies that got a wide release in the year after their first screening are listed in the next year. For example, 300 (2006) is listed in 2007 because it only got a wide release in 2007.

*Don't worry about spoilers. You can read the review of any movie without being afraid of spoilers and enjoy the movie if you watch it. I intentionally made sure not to ruin a movie by revealing a hidden plot or hidden climax scene. I simply pass or fail each scene and comment on them.

Vanity Fair, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Julian Fellowes, Matthew Faulk, Mark Skeet

Director: Mira Nair

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: An orphan wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of carriage scene.

Fail of table scene.

India eh? Yah…it’s…not a place people go willingly.

I see Hollywood never gives up on period pieces, even though audiences already have. Note to Hollywood. People can't relate to this crap. Give it a rest.

Fail of outside talk scene.

Steer to an indiscretion. Throws it in the water. Jokes.

Fail of old woman scenes throughout.

Fail of proposal scene.

Fail of bidding scene.

Fail of all scenes. Just terrible.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of death scenes.

Fail of lunch scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Powerfully boring movie.

I could put all period pieces on the worst movies of all times list, but it would be a pretty long list.

Connie and Carla, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Nia Vardalos

Director: Michael Lembeck

Dialogue: Fail

Good California jokes throughout.

Plot: Mobsters want to kill a guy.

Story: Ambition, Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Excellent acting by Alec Mapa.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of diner scene.

Fail of bar scene.

Hey, the guy from House of Cards again (Boris McGiver). Always a pleasure.

Robert John Burke from 2012 Safe. Nice to see you.

Fail of killing scene.

Fail of car scenes throughout.

Hollywood making content just for the sake of content. Sigh.

Herbal clay wrap. Jokes.

Fail of bar scenes throughout.

N’Cream. Jokes.

Fail of apartment scenes throughout.

David Duchovny. What the f*ck?

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Interesting way to package relationships and acceptance. But too cheesy.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Twisted, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Sarah Thorp

Director: Philip Kaufman

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue.

Plot: A serial killer wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Ashley Judd’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of sex scene.

Fail of psyc scenes throughout.

Fail of jail scene.

Fail of investigation scenes throughout.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of music content.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Terrible imitation of Silence of the Lambs/Hannibal Lecter.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made $40 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Paparazzi, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Forry Smith

Director: Paul Abascal

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail. Oh dear god.

Plot: Paparazzi wants to destroy a celebrity’s life.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Horrible characters. Oh dear god.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Always nice to see fans going crazy over an actor.

And people wonder why I have little faith in the next generation of idiots.

Always nice to see Hollywood executives building up movie/music stars as gods for people to follow.

Fail of cinematography.

Fail of voice over throughout.

Complete fail of writing, directing, characters, acting, music content.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Reminds me of paparazzi chasing Shia LaBeouf just for a picture. Disgusting.

Ironic that Alec Baldwin plays as paparazzi yet in real life despises them.

Fail of paparazzi bar talk scene. It’s just sad (and not in a good way).

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made $16 million proves that God DOES exist.

The Manchurian Candidate, 2004: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Daniel Pyne, Dean Georgaris

Director: Jonathan Demme

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Former soldiers want to deal with trauma.

Story: Character

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters all around.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Denzel Washington.

Excellent acting by Meryl Streep. One of her best performances.

Excellent acting by Liev Schreiber.

Excellent acting by Jeffrey Wright in his small role.

Comments:

Good intro.

Excellent school interaction.

Good room meeting scene.

Excellent flashback scenes throughout.

Good meet and greet scene.

Excellent phone hotel scene.

Fail of train scene.

Good table talk scene.

Excellent questioning scene.

Excellent library scene.

The music and acting really invigorates the writing.

Good beach scene.

Good talk scene.

Excellent school talk scene.

Excellent bath scene.

Excellent climax scene. Wow. Excellent music with it as well. Very well done.

Good ending.

One of the best movies of all time.

$80 million production budget. Geez.

Soul Plane, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Chuck Wilson, Bo Zenga

Director: Jessy Terrero

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to sue an airline.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro. Wasted comedy potential and devolved to stupid-funny. Sigh.

Fail of court scene.

Fail of airport scene.

Tossing his salad. Earjobs. Jokes. Liberal parenting.

Fail of White rapper kid scene.

Fail of bathroom strip scene.

Pregnant by the end of the flight. Jokes.

Low class. Jokes.

Fail of blind guy scenes throughout.

Fail of Arab character.

Fail of safety instruction scene.

Fail of pilot scenes throughout.

What was the music clearance bill for this movie? Must have been pretty high.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of orgasm scene.

Fail of bathroom sex scene.

Fail of bouncer scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Should have been direct to video/streaming.

After the Sunset, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Paul Zbyszewski, Craig Rosenberg

Director: Brett Ratner

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue.

"I'm Irish. We let people know how we feel. Now f*ck off." Good line and delivery.

Plot: A thief wants to steal a diamond.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Naomie Harris.

Fail of Don Cheadle’s acting. Oh dear god. Disappointing.

Comments:

Beginning heist scene is worthy of a James Bond movie. Fail of intro.

Good kiss scene.

Decent night Bahamas scene.

Good FBI talk scene.

Fail of night talk scene.

Fail of police scene.

Fail of dinner scene.

Fail of ship scene.

Fail of all Don Cheadle scenes throughout. His terrible acting kills it.

She can’t cook an omelet? Oh dear.

Fail of boat scene.

Fail of FBI scenes throughout.

Fail of sex scene.

Fail of bed scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Torque, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Matt Johnson

Director: Joseph Kahn

Dialogue: Pass

Garbage dialogue throughout.

Plot: Bikers want to traffic drugs on the streets.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Adam Scott’s acting.

Comments:

Good racing intro.

Fail of outside diner scene.

Ah…the Japanese and Mexican bikers. Well done with visible minority actors. But they're still following a White guy. Just saying.

Good cinematography throughout.

Fail of biker conflict scene.

Nice to see a lot of visible minorities though.

Ah…women as sex objects to sell motorcycles. And more importantly, letting Hollywood "brand" them as sex objects. Lovely.

Fail of city motorcycle scenes.

Good shop scene, until the idiot bikers come in.

Thailand? A White man vacationing in Thailand. We all know why. Thailand and the underage sex trafficking/sex providing capital of the world. "Oh, but I'm there for the beautiful peaceful way of life." Sure you are.

Two White bikers standing with their lips close together. Amazingly, there are a lot of conservative bible belt states that love gay porn.

Porn in the USA: Conservatives are biggest consumers

Fail of limo talk scene.

Fail of club scene.

Fail of bathroom scene.

How much was the movie clearance bill? Must have been pretty high.

Shame the movie has weak characters and acting.

Fail of FBI investigative scenes throughout.

Brown woman with Japanese guy. This movie is breaking new ground (no sarcasm intended). Kudos.

Fail of diner/gas station scenes.

Fail of chase scenes throughout.

Meet the twins. Oh dear god. Is the writer even trying?

And the bikes are now on a train. Lovely.

Slow motion explosion not necessary.

Good racing truck scenes.

Excellent slow motion car jump scene. Very well done. How much did that shot cost?

Fail of rooftop scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Excellent slow motion glass scene. Yes, the cinematographer has serious skills. But in a garbage movie they're not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

Breakin' All the Rules, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Daniel Taplitz

Director: Daniel Taplitz

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: An employer wants to downsize a company.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Jamie Foxx’s acting. Not the right actor for the role. Maybe Michael J. Fox would do.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Too stupid. Boring psychology. But maybe it could work with the right actor.

Fail of writing.

Fail of all hospital scenes. Is this movie supposed to be a comedy?

Fail of music content.

Fail of realization scene. Terrible writing and directing.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that this movie only made $12 million proves that God DOES exist.

Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Don Rhymer

Director: Kevin Allen

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue.

Plot: A former agent wants to control the world.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Good acting by Anthony Anderson.

Fail of Frankie Muniz’ acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good camp transformation scene.

Fail of campfire scene.

Fail of night attack scene.

Good bathroom scene.

Fail of secret explanation scene.

Joined a marching band to meet girls. Jokes.

Fail of airport scene.

Fail of gadget scene.

Mentos. Jokes.

Fail of kitchen scene.

Fail of all bad guy scenes throughout.

Fail of all handler scenes throughout.

Fail of facility scene.

Fail of instrument scene.

Fail of chase scene.

Mark Williams from Chef and the Harry Potter series. Nice to see you.

Fail of inspector scene.

Fail of taxi scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Barbershop 2: Back in Business, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Don D. Scott

Director: Kevin Rodney Sullivan

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A barbershop wants to compete with another barbershop.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Fail of Jimmy James character.

Fail of Kenard character.

Fail of Lalowe Brown character.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Kenan Thompson acting.

Good acting by Queen Latifah.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good gentrification plot.

A milk bath. That's actually a real thing.

Fail of bus scene.

Fail of flashback scenes/plot.

Fail of all politician office scenes.

Fail of end statement scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of end scene.

Complete failure of movie. Will someone put an end to this series.

Ladder 49, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Lewis Colick

Director: Jay Russell

Dialogue: Fail

Too corny.

Plot: Firefighters want to put out fires.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of John Travolta acting.

Fail of Robert Patrick’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of firehouse Travolta scenes throughout.

"When you get enough fires you find god." Really?

Fail of hazing scene.

Fail of grocery scene.

Fail of storytelling narrative. Fail of writing.

Stick to Backdraft (1991).

Fail of building scene.

Weak family scenes throughout.

Fail of music content.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

The Big Bounce, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Sebastian Gutierrez

Director: George Armitage

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of dialogue.

Plot: A hotel magnate wants to build on sacred land.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Charlie Sheen’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Always fabulous to see White people in control of Hawaii and their indigenous people and land. Lovely. But there are so many generations of White people in Hawaii that they think it's natural.

At least they made a Black man as a judge. That counts for something.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Sorry, but leave the heist movies for Steven Soderbergh.

A lot of big names in this movie.

A construction guy being disrespectful to a judge in public. Really?

Beating him with a branch. Jokes.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Welcome to Mooseport, 2004: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Tom Schulman

Director: Donald Petrie

Dialogue: Pass

"You thieving conniving ungrateful…" Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: A woman wants to get money from her ex-husband.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Gene Hackman as usual.

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent phone conversations with wife.

Excellent back and forth bickering scene.

Good toilet scene.

Stupid plot, but decent characters.

Corny but passable scenes.

Gene Hackman's acting really passed this movie.

Weak non-wife/girlfriend plot.

Decent climax scene.

Good ending.

But the movie shouldn't have cost $30 million to make.

In Good Company, 2004: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Paul Weitz

Director: Paul Weitz

Dialogue: Pass

"Does it feel like a boy?" "Right now, it feels like a stomach cramp." Good line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A company wants to lay off workers.

Story: Ambition, Family, Character, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Topher Grace.

Good acting by Dennis Quaid.

Comments:

Good intro.

The magazine is a cash cow. Ah…the good old days of print journalism. Just die already.

Ouch…And women wonder why men don't want to get married.

Good doctor check up heart beat scene. Could have been better though.

Good alone in the car parked outside of house scene.

Excellent cinematography throughout.

Excellent shots of Carter.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

Shall We Dance, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Audrey Wells, Masayuki Suo

Director: Peter Chelsom

Dialogue: Fail

"Disappointed that I'm older?" "Yes. I mean no. I mean...hey, you look experienced." Excellent line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Fail of train scene.

Wrong tone to movie.

Fail of dance scenes throughout.

Weak actors. Maybe this movie could have worked with better actors.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Fail of wife friends scenes throughout.

Fail of husband friends scenes throughout.

Fail of family scenes throughout. Odd awkwardness to it.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Decent ending.

Wimbledon, 2004: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Adam Brooks, Jennifer Flackett, Mark Levin

Director: Richard Loncraine

Dialogue: Pass

"20 pounds to win, Ajay Bhatt." "Hold on hold on. Isn't he playing your brother?" "You should be ashamed of yourself." Decent line, excellent delivery.

Plot: A tennis player wants to be the best.

Story: Ambition, Relationship

Characters: Pass

Excellent main characters.

Fail of Ron Roth character.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Excellent slow and fast motion cinematography.

Ah...the life of rich privileged White people. Lovely.

Wow, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jamie Lannister from Game of Thrones). Nice to see you.

Excellent voice over thinking scenes throughout.

Excellent morning scene after sex.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent writing, directing, cinematography.

Hotel staff scene near the end is too much.

Decent ending.

This movie should have made more money. The fact that it didn't proves that God does NOT exist.

Spartan, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: David Mamet

Director: David Mamet

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue throughout.

Plot: Someone wants to kidnap the president's daughter.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Weak acting throughout.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Val Kilmer. Nice to see you again. I was wondering what happened to you.

Stiff d*ck of bubble gum. Oh dear.

Weak initial investigative scene.

Fail of boyfriend talk scene.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of escort place scene.

Ed O'Neill from Married with Children. Wow. What a blast from the past.

Fail of beach house scene.

Fail of music content.

Decent gas station scene.

Fail of ranch talk scene.

And the plot thickens…

Fail of mansion scene. Fail of explanation scene.

Fail of private contractor guy talk scene.

Fail of Dubai scenes. Terrible.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Interesting movie. Should be redone with a better writer and actors.

Flight of the Phoenix, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Lukas Heller, Scott Frank, Edward Burns

Director: John Moore

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: An oil company wants to shut down an operation.

Story: Survival

Characters: Fail

Weak characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of loading scene.

Fail of secondary problem. As if they couldn’t anticipate it.

Fail of all desert plane scenes. Weak characters.

A compass dance. Oh dear.

Fail of music content. Oh dear god.

Nice visualization effects, but wasted on this bullshit plot.

Fail of all breakdown scenes throughout.

Fail of writing, directing, music.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Victor Levin

Director: Robert Luketic

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue throughout.

Plot: A failed actor wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Terrible characters.

Acting: Fail

Good acting by Topher Grace.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

$9.00 for lemonade. Jokes.

The main woman character is too stupid.

Fail of most scenes. Complete fail of writing.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Fail of waitress speech scene.

Ah…declaring your love to have it crushed. Well done, but not enough to pass.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

Wicker Park, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Brandon Boyce

Director: Paul McGuigan

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to find a woman.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of street scene.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of plot. Too stupid and unbelievable.

Fail of shoe store scene.

Fail of intro music content.

Fail of date scene.

Fail of past memory scenes throughout.

Fail of the writing, directing cinematography.

And she just throws herself at him. Watching him sleep. Oh dear.

And the plot thickens. But it can’t work so far in. Not with the weak setup.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Surviving Christmas, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Harry Elfont, Deborah Kaplan, Jeffrey Ventimilia, Joshua Sternin

Director: Mike Mitchell

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A guy doesn’t want to commit.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of everything.

Go to childhood home. Oh dear.

Powerfully stupid movie. Nothing makes sense. Terrible characters.

Complete fail of writing.

Ben Affleck’s acting killed this movie…like he’s done for so many others. And yet he still gets big roles. That's not accidental. That's intentional.

Glamour shots as porn. Jokes. I mean…that's not funny.

How did this movie get a wide release? Star power.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass with garbage characters and acting.

Good ending.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Taking Lives (Directors Cut), 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jon Bokenkamp

Director: D. J. Caruso

Dialogue: Fail

Garbage dialogue.

Plot: A serial killer wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

The characters could work with a better writer.

Acting:

Fail of Angelina Jolie’s acting. Not the right actress for the role.

Fail of Ethan Hawke’s acting.

Comments:

Good intro.

Two guys lost in the world. Sigh.

Holy f*ck, I didn't see that coming. Wow.

Fail of night grave scene.

Fail of morgue scene.

Fail of music content.

Fail of interrogation scene.

Psychopaths have different brain patterns. Sorry, but that's junk science. Everyone has different brain patterns.

Fail of investigative scene.

Fail of cinematography of talking with mother scene.

Excellent quick thriller scenes, but the music content and garbage writing kills this movie.

Fail of all scenes after.

No real emotional connection with any of the characters.

Fail of two men scene.

And of course…there's a sex scene.

Fail of body scene.

Fail of elevator scene. And the elevator door closes. What?

Special cinematography effects. Oh dear.

Fail of train scene.

Fail of flashback scenes.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse, 2004: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Paul W.S. Anderson

Director: Alexander Witt

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: People want to survive zombie killers.

Story: Survival, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Oded Fehr.

Comments:

Good recap intro.

Fail of police station killing.

Fail of wall scene. No one else has a gun?

Everything too unbelievable. This is one reason why I didn’t want to review horror/slasher movies. Just terrible writing.

Fail of church scenes.

Fail of most scenes.

Fail of writing and directing.

Fail of music content.

Good school scene.

Good flashback scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Excellent ending, but not enough to pass.

Saw, 2004: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Leigh Whannell

Director: James Wan

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Someone wants to abduct people.

Story: Survival, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Excellent bathroom scenes throughout.

Excellent investigation scenes throughout.

Excellent flashback storytelling.

Good music content.

Excellent writing.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Excellent movie.

One of the best movies of all time.

Blade: Trinity, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: David S. Goyer

Director: David S. Goyer

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Vampires want to rule the world.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of warehouse fight scene.

Decent chase scene.

Fail of setup scene. Too stupid.

Fail of vampire condo scene.

Fail of talk show scene.

Fail of music content throughout.

Fail of train platform fight scene.

Decent capture scene.

Fail of interrogation scene.

Excellent glass vampire burning special effect. Best scene of the movie.

Very well done. Kudos.

Good hallway fight scene but garbage music content.

Fail of all ship scenes throughout.

Fail of writing.

Fail of idiot vampire group scenes throughout.

Fail of ancient vampire explanation scene.

Fail of ancient vampire scenes throughout.

Fail of chase scene.

Fail of rooftop scene.

Fail of park scene.

Fail of facility scene. Could have worked with a better plot device.

Good holding cell scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $100 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Alien vs. Predator, 2004: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Paul W. S. Anderson

Director: Paul W. S. Anderson

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Two alien species want to kill each other.

Story: Ambition, Survival, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of speech scene.

Decent expedition scenes throughout.

Good alien scenes throughout.

Not the best writing but entertaining nonetheless.

Decent past story explanation scene.

Good friendship scenes.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Kudos to the studio for making the Black woman as the lead.

The Village, 2004: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: M. Night Shyamalan

Director: M. Night Shyamalan

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Something wants to kill animals/people.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Joaquin Phoenix.

Good acting by Adrien Brody.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Decent everyday life scenes throughout.

Animal suffers from madness. Oh dear god.

Fail of barn speech scene.

Good door/hand scene.

Decent wedding scene.

Good porch talk scene.

Good music content throughout.

Fail of journey scene.

Interesting revelation.

Fail of journey scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Seed of Chucky, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Don Mancini

Director: Don Mancini

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Killer dolls want to switch bodies.

Story: Ambition, Ethics, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

How do these garbage slasher movies get a wide release? Christ.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

A movie about a movie. Oh dear god.

Fail of writing and directing.

Redman. Wow. What a blast from the past.

One invocation and they're awake. Really?

Terrible Japanese translation.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of photo room scene.

Fail of all house scenes throughout.

Transgender question in a 2004 movie. Jokes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Dawn of the Dead, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: James Gunn

Director: Zack Snyder

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Zombies want to kill people.

Story: Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Ah…the life of a nurse. That's one of the two professions never to marry into, nurses or teachers.

Christ, another zombie movie. Make it stop.

Good Asian guy running at max speed. Jokes.

Hey, the guy from House of Cards (Michael Kelly). F*ck me.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fat chick at Dairy Queen. Oh dear.

Good cinematography though.

Fail of all mall scenes throughout except father and daughter scene. Best scene of the movie.

Fail of slow motion gun scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Shaun of the Dead, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg

Director: Edgar Wright

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Zombies want to kill/infect people.

Story: Relationships, Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good fast motions and sound effects throughout.

Decent sales scenes throughout.

Decent zombie scenes throughout.

Good future visualization scenes throughout.

Weak comedy scenes throughout.

Face vacant with a hint of sadness. Jokes.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid, 2004: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: John Claflin, Daniel Zelman, Michael Miner, Edward Neumeier

Director: Dwight H. Little

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A pharmaceutical company wants to create a drug for immortality.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Ah yes, the good old Hayflick Limit. I'm sure Silicon Valley will wipe that out in a decade or so, for only the very rich of course.

Good boat dynamics/interactions throughout.

Killing a gator for a human. I guess that's okay.

Good forest scenes throughout.

This is surprisingly a good movie.

Good betrayal scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Passed with 4 writers. Impressive.

My Baby's Daddy, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Eddie Griffin, Coke Daniels, Brent Goldberg, David Wagner

Director: Cheryl Dunye

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Women want their boyfriends to become good fathers.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Family, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent animated intro.

What dad drops his daughter off to such a party?

The guy from The Sopranos (Michael Imperioli). Wow.

Decent party scene.

Fail of convenience store scene.

Decent Lamaze class scene.

Fail of hospital birth scene.

Excellent convenience store birth scene.

Russell Peters. How? Why?

Good baby father scenes throughout.

Decent club scene.

"I hear you're celibate." Jokes.

Decent club scene.

Fail of label office scene.

Fail of boxing training scenes throughout.

Excellent baby sneaking out scene.

Fail of robbery scene.

Fail of outdoor scene.

What was the music clearance bill for this movie?

The writer bit off more than they could chew.

Fail of uncle talk scene.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Thunderbirds, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: William Osborne, Michael McCullers

Director: Jonathan Frakes

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue.

Plot: An evil genius wants to kill superheroes.

Story: Ambition, Ethics, Family, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Good acting by Ben Kingsley.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

International rescue. Oh dear.

I was confusing thunderbirds with ThunderCats.

Fail school scenes throughout.

Complete fail of writing, directing.

Fail of all rescue scenes throughout. Just terrible.

Trying to be discreet in a pink car. Jokes.

Fail of car flying scene.

I thought that was you Vanessa Hudgens. Kudos in getting a lot of small to medium roles.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Fail of all evil genius scenes throughout.

Complete fail of writing.

Fail of music content.

At least the Penelope scenes are decent to good.

Good Penelope fight scene.

Decent climax scene.

Decent ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made almost $30 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Benji: Off the Leash, 2004: FAIL

Unknown (most likely Epic Commercial Failure)

Writer: Joe Camp

Director: Joe Camp

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to breed perfect dogs.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good rescue scene.

Good dog parquet scenes throughout.

Fail of two idiot vet control guy scenes throughout.

Fail of jump in time.

Fail of house scenes throughout.

Complete fail of everything.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Fail of old man neighbor scenes throughout.

Fail of investigative scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Gregory Poppen

Director: Bob Clark

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue.

Plot: A man wants to exploit babies' knowledge.

Story: Ambition, Ethics, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Christ, the first movie was terrible. We don’t need a second terrible one. Just die Hollywood.

Oh my god, the guy from Mission Impossible (Jon Voight).

Fail of backstory scene. Just terrible.

The baby knows something. Oh dear.

Fail of baby walking scene.

Fail of bad guy scenes throughout.

Oh my god, the guy from 2009 Dragonball Evolution (Justin Chatwin). Wow.

Every scene is complete garbage. Complete fail of writing, directing, acting.

Not even good enough to direct to video/streaming.

Fail of transformation scene.

Fail of all action scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $10 million proves that God DOES exist.

National Lampoon's Gold Diggers, 2004: FAIL

Unknown (most likely Epic Commercial Failure)

Writer: Gary Preisler

Director: Gary Preisler

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to drain a trust fund.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Good intro.

Hey, the guy from American Pie (Chris Owen).

Fail of bus scene.

Fail of sidewalk scene. Too stupid.

Fail of next theft scene.

Fail of house scene. Too stupid.

Fail of most scenes. Complete fail of writing.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Should have been direct to video/streaming.

Fail of wedding scene.

Fail of all house scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie should have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $1 million proves that God DOES exist.

Godsend, 2004: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Mark Bomback

Director: Nick Hamm

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A family wants to get over trauma.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Greg Kinnear.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good accident scene.

And the plot thickens.

Good restaurant scene.

Good home scene.

Good fertility scenes throughout.

Good childhood scenes throughout.

Excellent first creepy childhood moment with good music content.

Good nightmare scenes throughout.

Good forest/shed scene.

Odd that they gave him the same name.

Good class scene.

Good bathroom scene.

Good playground scene.

Good kitchen scene.

Good car scene.

Good dinner scene.

Good hospital scenes throughout.

There were lots of ways this plot could have unfolded. But the writer chose a decent one.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

This movie shouldn't have cost $25 million to make. Someone didn't take a pay cut.

Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Rowdy Herrington, Bill Pryor

Director: Rowdy Herrington

Dialogue: Fail

Boring dialogue throughout.

Plot: A boy wants a better life.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Boring and flat characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of into.

This many people just for golf. And people wonder why sexism, racism, greed and inequality exist.

Boring golf scenes throughout.

Fail of mother bedroom scene.

Ah yes…the colored boy holding the clubs. Fabulous. This movie is really moving race relations in the right direction.

Fail of almost all scenes. Too boring.

Taking money from his cabbie. Have these people no shame?

How did this movie get a wide release?

The best scene in this movie was the bus/bike scene. What a smile.

Decent bar scene.

On a cruise ship. Really?

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Distributed by Film Foundry Releasing. Who? Did they really expect this movie to make money?

Over 1000 theater release in 2004. Really?

Johnson Family Vacation, 2004: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Earl Richey Jones, Todd R. Jones

Director: Christopher Erskin

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A dealership wants to change a man's car.

Story: Ambition, Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of animated intro.

Fail of car dealer scene. Too stupid with Bow wow's overacting.

Fail of car scenes throughout.

Using a phone to call your own daughter in her room. Liberal parenting.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Should have been direct to video/streaming.

Fail of mother daughter argument scene.

Fail of other guy scene.

Decent toss out CD scene.

Fail of truck scene.

Fail of hotel lobby scene.

Fail of hotel scenes.

Fail of hot tub scene.

1/18 Cherokee. Oh dear. Let's not have a repeat of Senator Elizabeth Warrens' Native American claims.

Elizabeth Warren apologizes for heritage claim, woos Native American voters at forum

Fail of casino scene.

The guy from Aquaman (Jason Momoa).

Shannon Elizabeth from American Pie. Wow.

You must be a real man. What?

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of new hotel scene.

Fail of alligator scene.

Good drink cop scene.

Fail of jail scene.

Fail of uncle scene.

Fail of family reunion scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

The Cookout, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Laurie B. Turner, Ramsey Gbelawoe, Jeffrey Brian Holmes

Director: Lance Rivera

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants a better family life.

Story: Ambition, Character, Family, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of interview scene.

Fail of girlfriend scene.

Fail of idiot trying to make money scene.

Fail of street basketball scene.

Everything is too stupid. Complete fail of writing.

Fail of parents scenes throughout.

"N*groes across the street." Jokes.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Should have been direct to video/streaming.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Fail of all security scenes throughout.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of agent scenes throughout.

Fail of house scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Calendar Girls, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Tim Firth, Juliette Towhidi

Director: Nigel Cole

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Two women want a better life.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Helen Mirren.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of outdoor scenes.

Boring scenes throughout.

Interesting solution, but doesn't work with these characters/actors.

Good photographer pitch scenes.

Fail of group scenes throughout.

Weak comedy throughout.

Good actual photography scenes with men waiting. Best scene of the movie.

Fail of speech scene.

Fail of most scenes.

Fail of US shoot scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Two Brothers, 2004: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Jean-Jacques Annaud, Alain Godard

Director: Jean-Jacques Annaud

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A treasure hunter wants to find ancient statues.

Story: Ambition, Family, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Good intro.

The tigers are so cute and loving.

Decent auction scene.

A family of tigers. That's so cute.

Good tiger scenes throughout.

Decent excavation scenes.

Excellent tiger death scene.

White man pillaging from developing nations. Gotta love those superior Westerners.

Killing tigers. I hope you burn in hell.

Excellent tiger in crate scene. So sad.

Fail of most human scenes throughout.

The other tiger movies away. So sad.

Good music throughout.

Good boy/tiger scenes throughout.

Using his tail. That's so cute.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

This movie passed on the strength of the tigers acting ability, which was excellent. Normally, non-human actors wouldn't count, but the movie is so touching that I'll make an exception this time.

$72 million production budget. Holy f*ck.

Open Water, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Chris Kentis

Director: Chris Kentis

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A couple wants to take a vacation.

Story: Relationships, Survival.

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of most scenes.

Fail of cinematography.

Terrible writing. How did this movie get a wide release?

Incompetence in counting. Really? Too unbelievable. But it’s based on a true story, so…

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

The terrible cinematography kills it for me.

Fail of writing, directing, acting, cinematography.

Epic Commercial Success? Must have been a slow box office window.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $50 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Laws of Attraction, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Robert Harling, Aline Brosh McKenna

Director: Peter Howitt

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to hide assets from his ex-wife.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good restaurant scene.

Good bathroom scene. Wow. I didn't know the bathrooms are that nice.

Pierce Brosnan. Wow. Nice to see you again.

Good court scene.

Good office scene.

Fail of run scene.

Good seminar scene.

Good mother/daughter scenes throughout.

"I watch the weather channel." Jokes.

Good restaurant scene.

My socks don't match therefore...Jokes.

They're drunk and having sex. But according to law they can't consent. I don't think the MeToo movement would approve. When in reality, couples are consenting to drunk sex this very second.

Good court scene.

Good multiple court clips scene.

Decent restaurant scene.

Good rock star lawyer scene.

Fail of gas station scene.

Scotland. Odd, but...

Fail of castle scene.

Decent bar scene.

Married. What? This movie is going downhill fast.

And then on a plane. What? Fail of most scenes after.

The tone of the movie changed significantly. Fail of writing and directing.

Fail of court scenes, multiple clips.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

I don't know what happened. The movie was going strong and then it's like another writer came on board and f*cked it all up. But there are two writers so maybe that did happen.

Christmas with the Kranks, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Chris Columbus

Director: Joe Roth

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A family doesn't want to celebrate Christmas.

Story: Family, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of street scene.

Fail of dinner scene.

Fail of work scene.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Complete fail of all reaction scenes. Too stupid.

Fail of night house scene.

Fail of neighbor scene.

Fail of work scenes throughout.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of store scene.

Fail of priest tan scene.

Ah…the problems of middle class White people and one token Black family. Lovely.

Sprays the cat. Jokes.

Decent botox restaurant scene.

Decent phone scene.

Fail of store scene.

Fail of cop scene.

Fail of crowd scene.

How do the police not know her?

Decent car cop scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending. Disappointed.

Against the Ropes, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Cheryl Edwards

Director: Charles S. Dutton

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Male bosses want to treat a woman like garbage.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Meg Ryan's acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of office scenes throughout.

Fail of boxing scene.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Powerfully stupid solution. Complete fail of writing.

Fail of projects scene.

Black crackheads. Oh dear.

Fail of diner scene.

Fail of DMV scene.

Fail of training scenes throughout.

Fail of strip club scene.

Fail of boxing scenes throughout.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of conference scene.

Fail of friends argument.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing and acting.

Fail of news scene.

If both communicated, everything would be good.

Fail of office deal scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made less than $10 million proves that God does exist.

Almost $40 million production budget. Paramount Pictures has money to burn.

The Forgotten, 2004: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Gerald Di Pego

Director: Joseph Ruben

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A mother wants to deal with the loss of her son.

Story: Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Decent therapy scenes throughout.

Good swing scene.

Good visualization scenes throughout.

Good tone to movie.

Never have only one child. Have lots and shove it up the ass of the climate change movement. Eventually, they’ll push eugenics on the global public in the name of "saving humanity."

Decent phone scene.

And the plot thickens.

Interesting searching scenes.

Good apartment scene.

And the plot thickens…again.

Good police car scene.

NSA. I don't understand…but I like it.

Interesting father scene.

Good investigative scenes throughout.

Interesting interrogation scene.

Good house scenes.

Holy f*ck. What a scene. I didn't expect that.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Excellent writing.

Not one of the best movies of all time, but I strongly recommend watching it.

Suspect Zero, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Zak Penn, Billy Ray

Director: E. Elias Merhige

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Fail of Harry Lennix's acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Fail of Ben Kingsley's acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Good intro.

Weird diner scene. I like it.

Good car scene.

Hey, the guy from The Dark Knight (Aaron Eckhart).

Decent office scene.

That's controlled remote reviewing (CRV). Interesting.

Carrie-Anne Moss. Always a pleasure.

Fail of diner talk scene.

Fail of funeral scene.

Fail of evidence scene.

Fail of flashback scenes.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of visualization scenes throughout.

Fail of rape scene.

Fail of attack scene.

Fail of directing.

Fail of investigative scenes throughout.

Fail of tone of movie.

Fail of woman door scene.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of police scene.

Fail of capture scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Secret Window, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: David Koepp

Director: David Koepp

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A woman wants to cheat on her husband.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Hey, the guy from Transformers (John Turturro).

Fail of door scene.

Ah…the problems of a writer. Cry me a river.

Fail of house worker scene.

Stop staring into the camera.

Fail of phone scene.

Fail of argument scene.

Boring scenes throughout.

Yes, he has a vivid imagination as all writers do. Lovely.

Hey, the guy from Gothika (Charles S. Dutton).

Fail of police scene.

Fail of house scenes throughout.

Fail of attack scenes throughout.

How may I assist you Amy. Jokes.

Fail of ex-wife scenes throughout.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of music content.

Leg is sleeping. Jokes.

A simple recorder can take care of all of it.

Fail of tone of movie. Fail of writing and directing.

Fail of multiple talking scene.

Yah, as I thought.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

And no, the ending is not the most important part of the story.

New York Minute, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Emily Fox, Adam Cooper, Bill Collage

Director: Dennie Gordon

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A truant officer wants to bust a girl for skipping school.

Story: Ambition, Character, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

The Olsen twins. Oh dear.

Two sheets on the home toilet. Really?

A snake. Kudos. Snakes are so misunderstood.

Fail of kitchen scene.

Ah…the tragic life of beautiful middle class White girls. Cry me a river.

Fail of manager scene.

Fail of bust scene.

Fail of train scene.

What was the music clearance for this movie.

Fail of train scene.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of train scene.

Hey, that looks like a GO train from Toronto.

An Asian woman? Maybe she's the Hollywood Imposter.

Hunting the Con Queen of Hollywood: Who's the "Crazy Evil Genius" Behind a Global Racket?

Global Scam Ravaging Hollywood: Silver-Tongued Imposter Poses As Top Female Producers To Catfish Victims

FBI Opens Investigation Into Hollywood’s Notorious "Con Queen"

'Con Queen of Hollywood' who allegedly duped actors arrested in UK

Fail of limo scene.

Yup, that's a Toronto subway station.

Fail of fight scene.

Hey, it's one of the super old subway cars. Orange seats. Jokes.

Decent car splash scene.

Fail of convenience store scene.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of apartment dog scene.

Hey, the guy from Gilmore Girls (Jared Padalecki).

Fail of rock concert scene.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Fail of trailer scene.

Fail of taxi scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Never Die Alone, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: James Gibson

Director: Ernest R. Dickerson

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to collect money owed.

Story: Ethics, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

A man showering in slow motion. Umm…sure.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of cinematography throughout.

Fail of bar scene.

Hey, the guy from Friday (Tommy Lister).

Fail of boss talk scene.

Fail of attack scene.

Fail of parking lot scene.

Fail of all white guy scenes throughout.

Fail of music content.

Fail of flashback scenes throughout.

Fail of talk scene.

Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

Nobility. Oh dear.

Fail of sex scene.

Fail of all attack scenes throughout.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Should have been direct to video/streaming.

Crack whores. Oh dear.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Mr. 3000, 2004: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Eric Champnella, Keith Mitchell, Howard Michael Gould

Director: Charles Stone III

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: The hall of fame doesn't want to include a baseball player.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent batter scene.

Fail of car sales scene.

Decent speech scene.

Stupid real problem.

Fail of getting back in shape scenes.

Decent conference scene.

Young vs. old...cut and paste writing. Sigh.

Decent locker room scene.

Decent to good baseball scenes throughout.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of dating scenes throughout.

Fail of Japanese guy scenes throughout.

Fail of locker room scene.

Good locker room scene.

Good sex scene.

Excellent slow motion scene with music.

Decent media scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Good ending.

Weak writing but Bernie Mac's acting helped pass this movie.

Passed with 3 writers. Kudos.

Miracle, 2004: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Eric Guggenheim

Director: Gavin O'Connor

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: The US Olympic hockey team doesn't want to lose.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Kurt Russell.

Good acting by Noah Emmerich.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good house scenes throughout.

Good party scene.

Good locker room scene.

Good coaching scenes throughout.

Good parking lot talk scene.

Good training scenes throughout.

Good cinematography.

Good speech scene.

Good hockey scenes throughout.

Good writing, acting, directing, cinematography.

Good Christmas scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid movie.

Little Black Book, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Melissa Carter, Elisa Bell

Director: Nick Hurran

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A girl wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Brittany Murphy's acting. Not the right actress for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of growing up scenes.

Good relationships scenes.

Ah…the magic first year of relationships. Kudos.

Ah…the life of producing talk shows.

Good talk show scene.

Decent writer room scene.

Decent cafeteria scene.

The dog is so big and loving.

Good room scene.

Fail of in her head scenes throughout.

Fail of narration throughout.

Fail of apartment discovery scene.

Fail of writing.

Fail of gynecology scene.

Fail of office scene.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Decent street scene.

Fail of most scenes.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

It had potential to pass with a better actor.

Club Dread, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Jay Chandrasekhar

Director: Jay Chandrasekhar

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Someone wants to kill people.

Story: Survival

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro. Always nice to see slutty women.

Fail of dock/beach scene.

I don't think the MeToo movement would approve of this movie.

Fail of artsy scenes throughout.

Complete fail of writing. Fail of most scenes.

Decent kill scenes throughout.

Fail of campfire scene.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Fail of writing and acting.

Fail of investigative scenes throughout.

Decent boat scene.

A praying mantis woman. Jokes.

Fail of pool death scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Hidalgo, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: John Fusco

Director: Joe Johnston

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: White people want to kill Natives.

Story: Ethics, Character, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Fail of J.K. Simmons' acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of escalation scene. Doesn't make sense.

Decent circus scene.

Fail of train scene.

Fail of tent scene.

A race to build character. Oh dear.

Fail of ship scene.

Arabs and the Black slave trade? Yup, sounds about right.

Good tone to movie, but weak writing.

Boring mid east scenes throughout.

Desert law. Oh dear.

"Trust in Allah." Oh dear.

Fail of race scenes throughout.

Good ol’ sandstorms. As if you could outrun it.

Fail of punishment scene.

Fail of attack scene.

Fail of other attack scene.

Cougars. That’s not nice.

Fail of climax scene.

Excellent ending.

$100 million production budget. Buena Vista Pictures has money to burn.

Fat Albert, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Bill Cosby, Charles Kipps

Director: Joel Zwick

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Girls want to exclude another girl.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent locker scene.

Interesting solution, but fail of implementation.

Fail of most school scenes.

Fail of track n’ field scene.

Fail of street scene.

Fail of house scenes throughout.

Fail of mall scenes.

Fail of party scenes.

Fail of writing and acting.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Grown men in the playground. Yah, that wouldn't play well in 2019.

Fail of park scene.

Fail of carnival scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Friday Night Lights, 2004: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: David Aaron Cohen, Peter Berg

Director: Peter Berg

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A football team wants to win.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Tim McGraw. Very well done.

Comments:

Good intro.

Football as the only way of life. And people wonder why aliens don't want to interact with humans. This is the reason.

Good cinematography throughout.

Good locker room scene.

Good practice scene.

Good father son scene.

Hey, the guy from Angel (Christian Kane). Nice to see you again.

And people wonder why most men don't go for Black women.

Good party scenes.

Good sex scene.

Excellent father son living room scene.

Good locker room scenes throughout.

Good coach speech scenes throughout.

Good injury scene.

Good writing, directing, acting, cinematography.

Good coach scenes throughout.

Good coach talk room scene.

Excellent doctor scene.

Excellent car scene.

Coin toss. Really?

Good car scene.

Good coach talk scene.

Grabbed his legs in mid air. That's fabulous.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid movie.

I don't like sports, especially football, but I liked this movie.

Not the same kind of movie as Varsity Blues but just as good.

Catch that Kid, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Michael Brandt, Derek Haas

Director: Bart Freundlich

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A CEO doesn't want to loan a family money for healthcare.

Story: Ambition, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of racing scene.

Good accident scene.

$250K for surgery. Gotta love the American health care system.

The father plot works, but the bank CEO plot doesn’t work.

Solution is too stupid. Fail of writing. And now everything has gone downhill.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Fail of prep scenes.

Fail of dog scene.

Work for your daddy. Oh dear.

Is she manipulating these boys with a kiss? But feminists would call it empowerment while the MeToo movement would have to admit that it's unethical.

Complete fail of heist scenes.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Fail of office make-out scene.

Wasted comedy potential.

Decent climax scene.

Fail of ending.