Hollywood Movie Review Series:

*Movies are in no particular order. Please use Crtl F on your keyboard to find a particular movie. Movies that got a wide release in the year after their first screening are listed in the next year. For example, 300 (2006) is listed in 2007 because it only got a wide release in 2007.

*Don't worry about spoilers. You can read the review of any movie without being afraid of spoilers and enjoy the movie if you watch it. I intentionally made sure not to ruin a movie by revealing a hidden plot or hidden climax scene. I simply pass or fail each scene and comment on them.

Catwoman, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: John Brancato, Michael Ferris, John Rogers

Director: Jean-Christophe "Pitof" Comar

Dialogue: Fail

Weak cat cult explanation.

Plot: A pharmaceutical company wants to create a beauty cream at all costs.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of cinematography on basketball court and motorcycle scene.

Fail of jewelry fighting scene.

Fail of back alley fight scene.

Fail of past explanation scene. Fail of music as well.

Uh…there’s no need for skin tight revealing clothing.

Powerfully stupid analysis of handwriting.

Fail of all almost all scenes. Fail of writing, directing, acting.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $80 million proves that God does NOT exist.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen. What a train wreck of a movie.
----------------------------------------------------

The Punisher, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jonathan Hensleigh, Michael France

Director: Jonathan Hensleigh

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Mafia wants to kill a federal agent.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Idiot arms dealer character wasn't needed.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Fail of dock scene.

Cliché movie. No surprises. Yawn.

Fail of torture scene.

Fail of gun draw scene.

Fail of most scenes. Cookie cutter movie. Fail of writing.

Fail of Russian guy attack scene.

How did this movie get a wide release?

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Good ending.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgunday, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Will Ferrell, Adam McKay

Director: Adam McKay

Dialogue: Fail

Too many cheesy corny lines.

"Wow...you know how to cut to the core of me baxster." Fail of line, decent delivery.

Plot: A news station wants to bring in new talent.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Fail

Male characters are too stupid and unbelievable.

Acting: Fail

Pretty bad acting for supporting characters.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Main characters introducing themselves. Doesn't work.

Good dog talking conversation scene.

HD cameras are picking up too much detail on the face of characters, especially the main woman. Put a filter on the camera and shoot at a shallow depth of field.

The illegal cologne bit could have been done much better.

Excellent intro for news channel street fight, even though the fight was garbage.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Way too stupid and corny movie. Fail of writing and directing.

Spider-Man 2, 2004: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Alvin Sargent

Director: Sam Raimi

Dialogue: Pass

Excellent dialogue.

Plot: A scientist wants to create fusion energy.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Character

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters all around.

Excellent Russian landlord character.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by James Franco.

Excellent acting by J. K. Simmons. Very well done.

Comments:

Excellent pizza intro.

Ah…the newsprint industry. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. And it's long overdue. Stick to the Intercept and the Center for Investigative Reporting.

The Intercept

The Center for Investigative Reporting

And that's after the fact that the Intercept bungled a whistleblower case which led to her imprisonment.

Reality Winner NSA leak Intercept sloppy journalism

Mainstream outlets won't take whistleblowers seriously if it upsets the narrative they're selling.

Excellent journalist scene.

This movie is much better than the first one.

Good school scene.

Fusion. Yah, we've been waiting decades for the old promise of unlimited energy.

Acting on Broadway. Kudos. Acting on a stage is real acting. Movies are a shadow of real acting.

Excellent house scene.

Good old home scene.

Good backyard scene.

Excellent landlord scene.

Excellent science talk scene.

Excellent Laundromat scene.

Excellent street scene.

Good outside street scene.

Excellent special effects all around.

Excellent elevator scene. Very well done.

Good science scene. Could have been better.

Fail of hospital operating scene. Not needed.

I can't help but notice all the main actors and actresses are White. Do visible minority actors not exist in New York City?

Decent dark villain scene.

Fail of bank scene.

Good bar scene.

Excellent loss of power scene/plot.

Good doctor scene.

Fail of flashback scene. Could have been done much better.

Excellent fixing up scene with music. Well done.

Good MJ talk scene.

Good newsprint office scene.

Excellent home scene.

Good apartment attack scene.

Good fire scene.

Excellent reflection scene.

Excellent building fail scene. Very well done.

Excellent coffee house attack scene. Excellent cinematography shot. Very well done.

Cheesy climbing with woman scene but I'll let it pass.

Excellent train fight/identity scene.

Good realization scene.

Decent climax scene.

"Avenge me." Jokes.

Good ending.

The Bourne Supremacy, 2004: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Tony Gilroy

Director: Paul Greengrass

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: CIA wants to kill a politician.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Matt Damon.

Good acting by Franka Potente.

Excellent acting by Brian Cox.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good mission scene.

Good car chase scene.

Excellent underwater scene.

Good analysis room scene.

Good explanation room scene.

Excellent interrogation scene.

Excellent agency room scene.

Excellent house fight scene.

Excellent Bourne investigation scenes throughout.

Excellent office/building scene.

Excellent street scene.

Excellent interrogation scene.

Good hotel scene.

Good hotel Conklin scene.

Decent climax car chase.

Excellent Russian house ending.

One of the best movies of all time.

Oceans 12, 2004: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: George Nolfi

Director: Steven Soderbergh

Dialogue: Pass

"I don't even understand what happened in there. What did I say?" "You called his niece a whore." "Very cheap one." What?" She's seven." Excellent line and delivery.

Plot: A casino owner wants his money back.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good past intro.

Good house scene with excellent music.

Excellent finding people scenes.

Good warehouse scene.

Good music content.

Good Russian bar scene.

Good hotel scene.

Good scoping out scenes.

Excellent implementation scenes.

Good flashback scenes.

Good Benedict phone scene.

Good interrogation scene.

Good hotel scene. In a duffel bag. Jokes.

Good French past thief scenes.

Good cave scene.

Good planning scene.

Good apartment scene with Rusty and girl.

Good implementation scene with excellent music.

Fail of Julia Roberts/Bruce Willis scenes. Too stupid.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending scene.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, 2004: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Steve Kloves

Director: Alfonso Cuaron

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Someone wants to kill a boy.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Alan Rickman as usual.

Comments:

Decent intro.

"Yes, in an ungrateful way." Jokes.

Excellent house scenes.

Excellent night scene.

Excellent bus scene. Very well done.

Excellent bus special effects.

A book that bites. Jokes. Well done.

Good train scene.

Good feast scene.

Good painting opera singer scene.

Good forest scene.

Ah…a mirror that rocks itself. Well done.

Good mirror classroom scene.

Excellent Snape scenes throughout.

The stupid sports thing works only because of the rain scene.

Good twin scene. Magic mass surveillance. Jokes.

Good forest scene.

Good teacher student scene.

Good night school scene.

Good prophecy scene.

Good forest scene.

Good underground tree scene.

Good ice/pond scene.

Decent climax scene.

Good ending.

One of the best movies of all time.

Kill Bill Vol. 2, 2004: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Quentin Tarantino

Director: Quentin Tarantino

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: An assassin wants to kill her former boss.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Decent wedding scene.

Decent bar scene.

Good trailer scene.

Good flashback training scenes throughout.

Excellent burial scene.

Excellent trailer fight scene.

Excellent fighting scenes throughout. As with the first movie, this is the fight choreographer you want for your blockbuster movie.

Good home scene.

Good flashback scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Alexander (Final Cut), 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Oliver Stone, Christopher Kyle, Laeta Kalogridi

Director: Oliver Stone

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A ruler wants to conquer the world.

Story: Ambition, Ethics, Character

Fail of all characters.

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of narration throughout.

Fail of first battle scene.

Fail of young child training scenes throughout.

Christopher Plumber and Anthony Hopkins teaching. Oh dear.

Fail of writing and directing.

Ah…the spoils of war.

Fail of all speech scenes throughout.

Fail of sex scene.

Fail of almost every scene.

Good father embarrassment scene.

Fail of assassination scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $160 million proves that God does NOT exist.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

King Arthur (Director's Cut), 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: David Franzoni

Director: Antoine Fuqua

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue.

Plot: Saxons want to retake Britain from the Roman Empire.

Story: Character, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Clive Owen’s acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Fail of Stellan Skarsgard’s acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good battle scenes throughout.

Fail of council scenes throughout.

Good friend conflict scene.

Decent stable scene.

Fail of all Saxon leader scenes throughout.

Fail of Merlin scenes throughout.

Nice to see an empowered woman.

Fail of armchair philosophy throughout.

Fail of ice battle scene.

Costumes look expensive, but Hollywood has deep pockets to take an infinite amount of losses on their box office flops.

Fail of both men talking scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: James Gunn

Director: Raja Gosnell

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue.

Plot: Someone wants to create monsters.

Story: Character, Relationships, Purpose

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Another stupid funny movie. Christ.

Nice to see Sarah Michelle Geller in a post-Buffy movie.

Fail of premiere scenes throughout.

Fail of almost every scene. Complete fail of writing.

Should have been direct to video/streaming.

Fail of sword scene.

Fail of all Scooby Doo scenes throughout.

Holy Christ the dialogue is garbage. I might even throw up my pea soup with kale.

Everything is too cheesy and stupid.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made almost $200 million proves that God does NOT exist.

National Treasure, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Jim Kouf, Cormac Wibberley, Marianne Wibberley

Director: Jon Turteltaub

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A treasure hunter wants to find ancient treasure.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of ice excavation scene.

Fail of office scene.

Fail of almost all scenes. Garbage writing, directing.

Fail of theft scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Eurotrip, 2004: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Jeff Schaffer, Alec Berg, David Mandel

Director: Jeff Schaffer

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A guy wants to be with a girl.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Good characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Kristin Kreuk from Smallville…and the NXIVM cult.

Kristin Kreuk breaks silence on involvement in 'Smallville' co-star's alleged sex trafficking cult

From 'Smallville' to a nxivm branding Sex Cult: The Fall of the Actress Allison Mack

Excellent after graduation scene.

Good house party scene.

Matt Damon and Kristen Kreuk. What the f*ck?

Excellent "Scottie doesn't know" song.

Good realization scene.

Excellent boss phone conversations throughout.

Good bar scene.

Good visualization scene.

Fail of robot scene. Too stupid.

Younger women being seduced by an older French guy. I don’t think that the MeToo movement would approve.

Excellent Spanish guy scene. Very well done.

Good nude beach scene.

Is that Xena (Lucy lawless). Oh my god. Nice to see you.

Good dominatrix scene.

Excellent camera shop scene. Very well done.

Excellent Eastern European scenes.

Good club scene.

Excellent kiss scene.

Good Vatican scenes throughout.

Excellent confession sex scene. I've already done it in a church before. But not a confession booth. Kudos.

Excellent ending.

One of the best movies of all time.

Less than $21 million at the box office. The audience was too cruel. The fact that it made so little proves that God does NOT exist.

The Day After Tomorrow, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Roland Emmerich

Director: Roland Emmerich

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Humans want to survive climate change doomsday.

Story: Survival, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Oh no, the ice. Whatever. Let it melt and use desalination for all water instead of groundwater and the oceans won't spill over. It's not rocket science. It just takes vision and infrastructure.

Only one man can explain it. Thank god that we have White men to save the world.

Plot is too unbelievable and beyond suspension of disbelief.

While the young adult plot is good, it's not enough to pass.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of animal attack scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Solid acting, but too unbelievable. Climate change activists probably had orgasms as they watched the movie and the death of humanty.

The Aviator, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: John Logan

Director: Martin Scorsese

Dialogue: Fail

Boring flat dialogue.

Plot: An aviator wants to create a perfect fleet of planes.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Leonardo DiCaprio but weak characters. The character is limiting his potential.

Fail of Cate Blanchett’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of boy intro.

Fail of party scene.

Boring flat movie.

Boring scenes throughout. Fail of writing.

Ah…the pressure, glamour, ego, and fame of Hollywood. A White man's game.

The airplane scenes are flat and the party scenes are hollow. You can't get milk from a dead cow. Nuff said.

Good family dinner scene.

But it's nice to see innovation when it didn't exist prior.

Hey, Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation (Brent Spiner). You keep popping up in these small side roles. Kudos.

Alec Baldwin and Willem Dafoe. Sorry but all the A-listers in the world couldn't save this garbage movie.

This movie wouldn't have been made without DiCaprio.

Fail of factory/sweeping scene. Would have been nice if he realized something important in that moment. Fail of writing.

Fail of cinematography throughout.

Fail of music content throughout.

Fail of plane residential area scene.

Fail of insanity scenes. Just sad.

Fail of court/ship climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Hellboy, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Guillermo del Toro

Director: Guillermo del Toro

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A Russian mystic wants to summon demonic beings.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters,

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of past Nazi scene.

Fail of Nazi portal scene.

Fail of all scenes. Complete garbage writing and acting.

Powerfully stupid movie.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that is made almost $100 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Kerry Conran

Director: Kerry Conran

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue.

Plot: A mad scientist wants to destroy humanity.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of all scenes. Everything in this movie is a complete failure.

Were the studio executives, producers and writer on crack cocaine when making this movie? Because it would explain a lot.

Giant robots and advanced airships. Oh dear god.

Everything beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of writing, directing, acting, cinematography.

Fail of Nepal bed scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made almost $60 million proves that God does NOT exist.

13 Going on 30, 2004: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Josh Goldsmith, Cathy Yuspa

Director: Gary Winick

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A teenage girl wants to be an adult.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good locker scene.

Michael Jackson's Thriller. That must have cost a pretty penny for the music clearance bill.

Good party scene.

Excellent adult scenes throughout.

Excellent apartment scenes throughout.

Good car scene.

Christ, Jennifer Garner looks super beautiful. Wow.

Good board scene.

Good elevator scene.

Decent party scene.

Good dating scenes throughout.

Excellent intimate scenes. Jokes.

Good office scenes throughout.

Good street scenes throughout.

Good home scenes throughout.

Teaching young girls. Jokes.

Good board scene.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Solid relationship movie. Good writing and acting.

One of the best movies of all time.

A Cinderella Story, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Leigh Dunlap

Director: Mark Rosman

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A girl wants a better life.

Story: Relationships, Character, Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of all childhood scenes.

Fail of pool scene.

Fail of diner scenes throughout.

Fail to decent school scenes throughout.

Fail of party scene. Too stupid. Fail of writing.

Gawking at women in school. That might be illegal if feminists and the MeToo movement have their way.

Good carwash fight scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

A Series of Unfortunate Events, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Robert Gordon

Director: Brad Silberling

Dialogue: Fail

Terrible dialogue.

Plot: A man wants to inherit a family fortune.

Story: Family, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Jim Carrey. I wasn't sure it was him. Very well done.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Beginning character intro contradicts everything.

Too much narration.

Junk writing even with the good music content and excellent acting.

Complete fail of all writing.

Fail of punishment scenes throughout.

Fail of attempted murder scene.

A movie that puts snakes in a good light. Well done. About time.

Cedric the Entertainer. I didn't see that coming. Well done for the inclusion, but fail of acting.

Well done with the "Does anyone know you are going this way?"sign.

Fail of small boat crossing scene.

Fail of pre-climax scenes. This is one way the Illuminati allows new "assets" to join. What's true on-screen is sometime's true off-screen. As above so below.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Typical Illuminati movie.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

Alfie, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Elaine Pope, Charles Shyer

Director: Charles Shyer

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A bachelor wants to sleep with women.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

And they're talking to the camera. Oh dear.

Uh…no one wants to see a womanizer movie.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of doctor scene.

Good bathroom scene.

Fail of music content.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Almost as if the movie was made just so the male celebrities could get laid. Sometimes, pretend sex on-camera turns into real sex off-camera. Either before or after shooting.

Along Came Polly, 2004: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: John Hamburg

Director: John Hamburg

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A woman wants to leave her husband on their honeymoon.

Story: Relationships, Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent wedding scenes.

Fail of beach scene.

Ah…the plight of marrying liberal women. Good luck to the men and god bless your heart. Taking one for the team.

Good bathroom scene.

Fail of house scenes throughout.

Decent art scene.

Excellent basketball scene.

Good greasy pizza scene.

Good date scenes throughout.

Excellent bathroom scene.

Interesting rooftop scene.

Good dancing scene.

Good intimate scenes throughout.

Good bathroom scene.

Good salsa lesson scene.

And the woman wants in again. Yup, sounds about right.

Decent boat argument scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Around the World in 80 days, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: David Titcher, David Benullo, David Goldstein

Director: Frank Coraci

Dialogue: Fail

"This is the royal academy of science. We don't need to prove anything." Excellent line, good delivery.

Plot: A warlord wants to take over a village.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Fail of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s acting.

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of inventor character.

Fail of invention scene.

Plot is too stupid.

Fail of all inventor scenes throughout.

While the fight scenes are good, they're not enough to pass this movie.

Fail of blimp scene.

Fail of train scenes throughout.

Fail of royal house scene.

Fail of village scenes throughout.

Fail of Asian bad guy. This is just terrible.

A statue and everything’s good. Sigh.

Fail of alley scene.

No amount of star power can save this movie. Not with a $110 million budget. Way too much. But Disney has more than enough money to burn.

Fail of stag fight scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Chasing Liberty, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Derek Guiley, David Schneiderman

Director: Andy Cadiff

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue throughout.

Plot: The President's daughter wants to have a boyfriend.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of characters.

Fail of agent characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting around.

Comments:

Decent intro.

Good White House security scene.

Decent to fail date scenes throughout.

Fail to decent Whitehouse scenes throughout.

Fail of plane scene.

Fail of multiple function scenes.

Fail of party scenes throughout.

Fail of solution. Really?

Fail of train station scene.

Fail of train scene.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Girls like a bald head. Oh dear.

Fail of guest house scene.

Fail of bungee house scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Collateral, 2004: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Stuart Beattie

Director: Michael Mann

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue.

Plot: A hitman wants to kill people.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Fail of police characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Jamie Foxx’s acting.

Fail of Mark Ruffalo’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Too stupid. Fail of taxi scene.

Taxi therapy. A dead art. Today it's ride sharing with sexual harassment.

Uber Sexual Assault: Statistics On The Ride-Share Company's Safety For Drivers And Passengers

Female drivers for Uber and Lyft say sexual harassment is the norm — and getting help from the companies isn't easy

Uber was fined $59 million over sexual assault data. Now it may pay just $150,000

CNN investigation: 103 Uber drivers accused of sexual assault or abuse

Fail of amateur look cinematography.

No one else can hear the kills. Really?

Security in bulletproof vests. What about headshots?

Fail of club shooting scene.

Good cab music content, but not enough to pass.

Fail of cab driver on his own.

Good climax, but should have extended train conversation then ended movie there.

Decent ending.

Closer, 2004: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Patrick Marber

Director: Mike Nichols

Dialogue: Pass

"Do you have any children?" "No." "Would you like some?" "Yes, but not today." Excellent line, fail in delivery.

"You like him cumming in your face? "Yes." "What does it taste like?" "It tastes like you but sweeter." "That's the spirit. Thank you. Thank you for your honesty. Now f*ck off and die." Excellent line, good delivery.

Plot: Four people want to find love.

Story: Relationships, Purpose

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Good acting by Natalie Portman.

Excellent acting by Julia Roberts.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Decent doctors office scene.

Professional photographers. Today everyone is a photographer and can be trained as a professional very easily. The only real gap is people who shoot raw vs. those who shoot in jpg.

Fail of photography scene.

Ah…the horny doctor character. Well done.

Excellent aquarium talk scene.

Two guys wanking in cyberspace. Jokes.

Decent exhibit scene.

Excellent Julia Roberts home scenes throughout.

Fail of strip scene.

Good meeting restaurant scene.

Fail of meeting of the two men scene.

Good climax scene.

Fail of ending.

DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story, 2004: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Rawson M. Thurber

Director: Rawson M. Thurber

Dialogue: Fail

Corny dialogue from Ben stiller character.

Plot: A big gym owner wants to buy out a smaller one.

Story: Ambition, Character

Characters: Pass

Good White Goodman character.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Ben Stiller’s acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Excellent acting by Justin Long.

Comments:

Good intro.

An old gym. What is this Rocky? Health and Sanitation alone would destroy the business.

Good cheerleading flashback scene.

Good solution to plot.

Fail of gym interview.

Excellent girl scout match scene.

Excellent lady in red music shot, perfectly done. Excellent cinematography and directing.

How much was the music clearance bill?

Excellent luck of Irish scene.

Weak acting and writing, but enough comedy scenes to pass.

Lance Armstrong. Wow. What a throwback before he lost all credibility when he cheated.

Lance Armstrong Is Stripped of His 7 Tour de France Titles

End of the Ride for Lance Armstrong cheating doping

Lance Armstrong Settles Federal Fraud Case for $5 Million

Chuck Norris. What the f*ck?

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Ella Enchanted, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Karen McCullah Lutz, Kirsten Smith

Director: Tommy O'Haver

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all garbage dialogue.

Plot: A fairy godmother wants to curse a child.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Magic and fairy tales. Oh dear.

Fail of plot.

Complete fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Powerfully stupid movie.

Fail of man-book scenes throughout.

Fail of magic dance scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made almost than $30 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Charlie Kaufman

Director: Michel Gondry

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to be with a woman.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Barnes and Noble. That will be bankrupt in 5 years. Update: it got bought out by a hedge fund in 2019.

Barnes & Noble Is Sold to Hedge Fund After a Tumultuous Year

Interesting scenes.

Plot is good but fail of writing and directing.

Fail of cinematography.

Fail of love scenes throughout. Too unbelievable.

Fail of almost all scenes.

Interesting creativity, but it doesn't work.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

This movie should be redone by a better writer and director.

Finding Neverland, 2004: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: David Magee

Director: Marc Forster

Dialogue: Pass

"Once you get a bit of notoriety James, people watch you and will look for ways to drag you down." Good line, fail in delivery.

Plot: A playwright wants to be successful.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Johnny Depp as usual.

Comments:

Decent intro.

A thin skinned playwright. He couldn't make it in 2018.

Good park scenes throughout.

Excellent table scene.

Good home scenes throughout.

Fail of imagination visualization scenes throughout, but good try.

Excellent climax scene.

Good ending.

First Daughter, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Jessica Bendinger, Kate Kondell

Director: Forest Whitaker

Dialogue: Pass

"The last time I had privacy I was in utero." Excellent line, fail in delivery.

Plot: The president doesn't want to let his daughter have a normal life.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Garbage characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of acting all around.

Comments:

Decent intro.

You're the president’s daughter, what do you expect? Geez.

Powerfully stupid movie.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Of course she gave you the good bed, you're a visible minority.

College experience doesn't make sense. A private school with gated security would make more sense.

You want the regular life? Others would kill for your White privileged life.

Hey, the guy who played Riley on Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Marc Blucas).

Fail of music content.

Good roommate argument scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made only $10 million proves that God DOES exist.

Garden State, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Zach Braff

Director: Zach Braff

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Two people want a better life.

Story: Character, Family, Purpose

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Zach Braff's acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro. Too stupid.

Fail of restaurants scene.

Fail of funeral scene.

Fail of tone of movie. Fail of directing.

Fail of cop scene.

Fail of after-party scene.

Fail of morning scene.

Fail of waiting room dog scene.

Fail of doctor scenes throughout.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail to decent date scenes with girl throughout, but not enough to pass.

While everyone says it's a masterpiece, it feels like crap to me.

If the writers wanted to go with the monotone character, they were not consistent.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg

Director: Danny Leiner

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Two guys want to get to a fast food restaurant.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Another stoner movie. Yes, California, we get that you support marijuana. But Canada beat you to it at the federal level. Suck it.

Canada just legalized recreational marijuana

Fail of elevator scene.

Fail of plot. Fail of solution.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing, directing.

Good bathroom scene. Battle sh*ts. Jokes.

Fail of raccoon scene.

Fail of hospital scene.

Fail of crazy old White guy scenes.

Fail of gas store scene.

Fail of prison scene.

Fail of drugged up visualization scene.

Decent climax scene, but not enough to pass.

Fail of ending.

Hotel Rwanda, 2004: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Keir Pearson, Terry George

Director: Terry George

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: An African ethnicity wants to kill another.

Story: Ethics

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Don Cheadle.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good hotel scenes throughout.

It's a good movie, but I can see why it was a Commercial Failure. No one really likes to see a genocide.

Good hotel as safe house scenes throughout.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

For racist White people, all they see is Black people killing Black people and smile.

I Heart Huckabees, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Jeff Baena, David O. Russell

Director: David O. Russell

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue. Some of the worst dialogue of all time.

Plot: People want to figure themselves out.

Story: Purpose, Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting.

Comments:

Dubbed one of the worst movies of all time…and for good reason.

Fail of intro.

Fail of every scene. Complete fail of writing.

I'm a philosopher and even I believe this is garbage philosophy.

No amount of star power could have saved this movie.

Fail of every office scene.

Oh dear, birthing therapy. That's f*cked up.

Explaining the universe. Oh dear god.

All the star power in the world couldn't pass this movie.

I think this dialogue hit every ideology. Complete fail of writing.

Fail of lunch scene.

Fail of other woman therapist.

But then again, liberals have meaningless lives according to their evolution. Hence the reason why they need junk science therapy.

"What are you a b*tch? How many kids do you have b*tch?" Well done.

Fail of weird special effects throughout.

Fail of freaky sex scene.

Fail of boardroom scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Complete fail of writing, directing, and acting.

***Do not watch this movie. Should only be watched as a reference in how NOT to make a movie.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it only made $20 million proves that God DOES exist.

I, Robot, 2004: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Jeff Vintar, Akiva Goldsman

Director: Alex Proyas

Dialogue: Pass

"Did you just shoot at me with your eyes closed?" "Well it worked didn't it?" Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: Someone wants to kill people.

Story: Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent water intro.

I love the company parking lot mechanism.

A gag order on police. And yet that future is coming.

Good interrogation scene.

Giant tea kettle like trucks. Jokes.

Excellent traffic murder scene.

Excellent climax scene.

Good ending.

Would have liked more interaction with Sonny and VIKI, but still an excellent movie.

Man on Fire, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Brian Helgeland

Director: Tony Scott

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Terrorists want to kidnap wealthy Mexicans.

Story: Character, Purpose, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of house scenes throughout.

Hiring an alcoholic. Really?

Fail of nun scene.

Good scenes with bodyguard and girl throughout.

Decent capture scene.

Fail of cinematography.

Fail of fast motion shots.

Fail of investigative scenes throughout. Fail of writing.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending, but not enough to pass.

Napoleon Dynamite, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Jared Hess, Jerusha Hess

Director: Jared Hess

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A guy wants a girlfriend.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of bus scene.

Good girl door scene. Looks so pathetic that it's passable.

Fail of lama scene.

Fail of martial arts scene.

Fail of school scenes throughout.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Stupid-funny movie. This should have been direct to video/streaming.

Fail of school dance scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Garbage writing and directing. Sorry, but I couldn't appreciate the brilliance.

But well done with the tight budget of $400K. Impressive.

Meet the Fockers, 2004: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Jim Herzfeld, John Hamburg

Director: Jay Roach

Dialogue: Pass

"Do you mind if I put some foam down on your rug?" Good line and delivery.

Plot: A couple wants to get married.

Story: Family, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Good home scene.

Good RV scenes throughout.

Good mammary gland scene.

Good home scenes throughout.

Dog in the toilet. Jokes.

Decent dinner scene.

Good toilet scene.

Excellent massage scene.

Decent restaurant scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid movie.

Troy, 2004: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: David Benioff

Director: Wolfgang Petersen

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A king wants to conquer the world.

Story: Character, Ambition

Characters: Pass

Decent characters

Acting: Pass

Good acting all around.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good ship scene.

Good training scene.

Excellent beach invasion scene.

Good girl confinement scenes throughout.

Good royal ship girl scene.

Good music content.

Good single combat fight scene.

Good battle scene.

Wow, that's a lot of background extras.

I don’t think the MeToo movement would approve of that sex scene.

Good beach fight scene.

Good soldier fight scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

The Princess Diaries Royal Engagement The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, 2004: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: Shonda Rhimes

Director: Garry Marshall

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: An uncle wants to seize the throne.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

A server knocks off her crown. Jokes.

Royal functions too stupid.

Plot to destroy marriage is too weak, poorly executed.

A bow and arrow through a pop can. Jokes.

Good dating scenes throughout.

Decent climax scene.

Fail of ending.

This movie would normally fail but the comedy is solid enough to pass.

Mean Girls, 2004: PASS

Epic Commercial Success

Writer: Tina Fey

Director: Mark Waters

Dialogue: Pass

"Nice wig Janis. What's it made of?" "Your mom's chest hair." Good line, excellent delivery.

Plot: A group of girls wants to be mean to a girl.

Story: Relationships, Character, Ambition

Characters: Pass

Excellent Characters

Acting: Pass

Good acting all around.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good class scenes throughout.

Too much narration throughout.

One of the dumbest girls you'll ever meet. Jokes.

God description of mean girls scene.

Good cafeteria scene throughout.

Lacey Chabert. Wow. What a blast from the past.

Excellent goth girl character.

Women destroying women. Yup, sounds about right. This is a good movie to see generations of patriarchal conditioning.

Fail of talent show scene.

Excellent car walk talk scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Solid movie.

The Girl Next Door, 2004: PASS

Commercial Failure

Writer: Stuart Blumberg, David T. Wagner, Brent Goldberg

Director: Luke Greenfield

Dialogue: Pass

"God dammit Matt, I swear to god, if you don't f*ck her I'll kill myself." Good line and delivery.

Plot: A guy wants to be with a girl.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of gym scene.

Good car naked scene.

Good date scene throughout.

Good party scene, that's how you kiss a girl. Of course, that applies only for real men. P*ssy men from the MeToo movement ask for permission because they believe that verbal permission is "sexy."

Excellent visualization scenes throughout.

And the plot thickens.

Porn star empowerment. Well done feminism.

Decent Vegas scene.

Good boss car scene.

Excellent solution scene.

Good prom scene.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending.

Passed with 3 writers. Well done.

Van Helsing, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Stephen Sommers

Director: Stephen Sommers

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A vampire wants to kill people.

Story: Ethics, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Complete fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail Kate Beckinsale’s acting.

Fail of Will Kemp’s acting.

Fail of Richard Roxburgh’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Powerfully stupid plot.

Fail of all action scenes.

The Vatican as a hotbed of science. Really?

Fail of all scenes. Complete fail of writing.

The Vatican as the only bastion of good on the planet. What?

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn't have made $1.00. The fact that it made $300 million proves that God does NOT exist.

Ray, 2004: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: James L. White

Director: Taylor Hackford

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to be a jazz musician.

Story: Ambition, Family, Character

Characters: Pass

Excellent characters.

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Jamie Foxx. Only second to his excellent acting in 2009 The Soloist.

Comments:

Excellent intro.

Good music playing scenes throughout.

Excellent management issue scene.

Excellent past training scenes.

Excellent non-linear approach.

Excellent recording new stuff scene.

Richard Schiff from The West Wing. Always a pleasure sir.

The infamous I Got a Woman and Night and Day song. Well done sir.

Excellent church music issue scene. That was a real thing in the past.

Excellent relationship problems scene.

"You're the only one I'll ever love." Ah yes, the line that all men use when they're caught cheating.

Ah…the music critics are horrible people. And yet here I am writing reviews of movies. The reason why it's not a contradiction is because I make content as well (right now books) and expect it to be critically reviewed. Anyone can be a critic, but until they can make their own content, be it a movie, TV show, song, or book…they're just an asshole.

Excellent scenes showing the pressures of making music and the music industry.

Excellent racial scenes.

Excellent internal problems scene.

Excellent dream scene. Could have ended there with text of his life.

Not one of the best movies of all time, but I strongly recommend watching it.

Envy, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Steve Adams

Director: Barry Levinson

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants a better life.

Story: Ambition, Family, Relationships.

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Ben Stiller’s acting.

Fail of Rachel Weisz’s acting.

Comments:

Excellent bathroom double life intro.

A man who's never experienced a mediocre office chair. Sigh.

A baseball diamond right beside a highway. Really?

Angry batter was good, but could have been better.

Invention beyond suspension of disbelief. Everything goes down here from there. A sensible person would stop watching but I have to keep going. Sigh.

Complete fail of writing and directing.

I get the change in contrast but...shouldn't have been this stupid.

Fail of bar scene.

Fail of horse scene.

And the downward spiral of the movie continues.

Nice to see fine luxury living. Say, I didn't notice any visible minorities in the movie. But then again, putting visible minorities in proximity to wealth would definitely push the suspension of disbelief. Ha ha ha.

Breaking the plank could have been funny. Wasted comedy potential.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Cellular, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Chris Morgan

Director: David R. Ellis

Dialogue: Pass

Terrible dialogue throughout.

Plot: Dirty cops want to kidnap people.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Kim Basinger. Nice to see you.

Fail of killing scene.

Only beautiful young White men can save her? Sigh.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing. Beautiful people though.

Fail of weird cinematography for changing scenes.

Powerfully stupid plot and solution.

Fail of all scenes. Oh dear god. Terrible writing and directing.

Good car scene.

Fail of airport scene.

Fail of spa scene.

Fail of music content. Horrible.

Fail of bank music content. Terrible.

10th grade biology. Oh dear god. How did this garbage movie get a wide release? Star power.

Fail of climax scene. Oh dear god.

Fail of ending.

Sleepover, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Elisa Bell

Director: Joe Nussbaum

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of dialogue.

Plot: A girl wants a better life.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Hey, the girl from Spy Kids (Alexa Vega).

Fail of all school scenes.

I don't see any visible minorities in this movie. Maybe they didn't exist yet. It is a 2004 movie after all.

Fail of all house scenes.

Fail of make out scene.

Fail of cop scenes throughout.

Fail of every scene. Complete fail of writing.

Fail of all bar scenes.

Poor dog in heels.

Fail of all dance scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Spanglish, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: James L. Brooks

Director: James L. Brooks

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A Mexican mother wants a better life for her daughter.

Story: Family

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Good intro.

Too much narration. Doesn't work.

Fail of informal interview scene.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of unstable wife scene. Crazy liberals.

Fail of all home scenes throughout.

Hope to adopt your feelings. Oh dear.

Chef character doesn't work. The best chefs are crazy egotistical asswipes.

The narration is too annoying.

Fail of all chef scenes throughout.

Fail of jogging scene.

He wants a piece of the foreign action. Who wouldn't.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Characters may have worked with better actors/actresses.

$80 million production budget. Sony Pictures Releasing has money to burn.

Starsky & Hutch, 2004: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: John O'Brien, Todd Phillips, Scot Armstrong

Director: Todd Phillips

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Cocaine dealers want to sell cocaine.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting.

Fail of Ben Stiller’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of cop bust scene.

Fail of precinct scenes throughout.

Snoop Dog. Oh dear god.

Almost any movie with Snoop Dog should be direct to video/streaming.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of acting, writing, directing.

Fail of all investigative scenes throughout.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Taxi, 2004: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Thomas Lennon, Robert Ben Garant, Jim Kouf

Director: Tim Story

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: Criminals want to rob banks.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Decent intro.

Only Black men with Black women. Well done Hollywood.

Suped up taxi cab. Jokes.

Hey, the guy from House of Cards (Boris McGiver). Nice to see you.

Fail of cop investigative scenes throughout.

Fail of all precinct scenes.

He can't drive. What? Hence the taxi cab. Get the f*ck outta here.

Fail of initial cop/taxi cab scene.

Nice to see strong women characters, but still doesn’t work.

Hey, the guy from Angel (Christian Kane). Nice to see you.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Fail of almost all scenes. Complete fail of writing.

Fail of interrogation scene.

Fail of cop scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

The Butterfly Effect, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Eric Bress, J. Mackye Gruber

Director: Eric Bress, J. Mackye Gruber

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A man wants to change his past.

Story: Character

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of Ashton Kutcher acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Good prison interview scene.

Fail of hypnotism scene.

Fail of cinema beating up scene.

Psychotic kids. They can't be helped in today's society. Cut your losses and move on.

Fail of almost all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of solution. Too stupid. Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Fail of all prison scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Excellent ending.

Should be redone with a better actor.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Wes Anderson, Noah Baumbach

Director: Wes Anderson

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to kill a shark.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing. Powerfully stupid movie.

Complete fail of storytelling method.

Even all the best A-listers in Hollywood couldn't save this movie.

Flat boring movie. Oh dear god.

Fail of all ship scenes.

Trying not to curse for the baby. Jokes.

Fail of pirate scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie should have made $1.00. The fact that it made almost $35 million proves that God does NOT exist.

The Chronicles of Riddick, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: David Twohy

Director: David Twohy

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A ruthless race wants to take over another race.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Acting: Fail

Fail of everyone’s acting except Vin Diesel and Thandie Newton.

Comments:

Fail of intro and beginning fighting scene.

Complete fail of all scenes. Fail of writing and directing.

It's as if they're making it up as they go…even though they know how it's supposed to go.

Bounty hunter scenes don’t make sense.

Seers as a means of communication. Well done.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

$105 million production budget. Universal Pictures has money to burn.

The Notebook, 2004: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Jeremy Leven

Director: Nick Cassavetes

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Two young adults want to be together.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Ryan Gosling.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Excellent carnival ride scene.

Good date scenes throughout.

Decent wedding prep scenes throughout.

Excellent raining boat scene.

Good climax scene.

Decent ending, but could have been better.

The Perfect Score, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Marc Hyman, Jon Zack, Mark Schwahn

Director: Brian Robbins

Dialogue: Fail

Complete fail of all dialogue.

Plot: Students want to score high on the SATS.

Story: Ambition, Relationships, Family, Character

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Narration not needed.

Powerfully stupid. Fail of most scenes. Fail of writing.

How did this movie get a wide release? These are pre-A-list stars. Future products of Disney.

Fail of plot and solution.

What is this, a revamped Breakfast Club?

For people to be a faceless herd. Yup, sounds about right.

Terrible writing.

Fail of practically all scenes. Fail of cinematography, writing, directing, acting.

Terrible music content.

Father screwing women close to his daughters age. Well done Hollywood.

Fail of visualizations throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Good ending.

Not one of the worst movies of all time, but pretty close.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

The Stepford Wives, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Paul Rudnick

Director: Frank Oz

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A company wants to fire an employee.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of gun scene.

Fail of office talk scene.

Fail of freak-out scene.

Fail of car scenes.

Fail of all stepford wives scenes throughout.

Fail of outdoor party scene.

Fail of accident scene.

Fail of tone of movie.

Everything is too unbelievable.

Fail of husband/wife scenes throughout.

Fail of sex scene.

Fail of guy scenes throughout.

Fail of guy realization scene.

Fail of weird creep dog scenes throughout.

Ah…men who want to put women in their place. But such things already exists in a basic form in 2021.

Fail of video scene.

Fail of pre-climax scenes.

Fail of climax scene.

A screwdriver. Jokes.

Fail of ending.

This movie should be redone in 2021 with a better comedy writer.

The Terminal, 2004: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Sacha Gervasi, Jeff Nathanson

Director: Steven Spielberg

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A foreigner wants to enter the US.

Story: Ambition, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Tom Hanks.

Comments:

Good intro.

Fail of coup problem. Too unbelievable.

Idea that he doesn't qualify for any status is nonsense. beyond suspension of disbelief.

Plot is too stupid. Solid acting by Tom Hanks. But are Hollywood writers even trying anymore?

This movie wouldn't have been made without Tom Hanks’ star power.

Powerfully stupid plot in terminal, especially after 9/11.

Best scene in the movie was the security camera scene.

Good translator scene.

Fail of most scenes. Too unbelievable.

Good climax scene.

Excellent ending.

This movie only passed on the strength on Tom Hanks’ acting.

If this was a visible minority at the airport, it would have been a quick movie…with very little comedy.

The LadyKillers, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

Director: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

Dialogue: Fail

Bible shaming dialogue. Yawn.

Plot: A group of thieves want to rob a casino.

Story: Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Fail of Tom Hanks’ acting. Not the right actor for the role.

Excellent acting by Tzi Ma. Wow.

Comments:

Fail of intro scene and police scene.

An angry Black woman. That would play in a comedy but not in a drama. Oh I'm sorry, is this a comedy? I couldn't tell.

Conditioning people with religious eternal hell. Yah yah.

Nice music content, but the scenes are weak or flat. Fail of rap music content. Then again, almost all rap music is a failure to the arts anyways. Oh no he didn’t. Yes I did.

Fail of tree scene. Wasted comedy potential.

Excellent robbery scene.

Fail of old Christian-Black woman background plot.

Fat Black man responsible for the money. Sigh.

And now we're on a production set. Oh dear.

Complete fail of writing.

Excellent robbery scene. that was the highlight of the entire movie.

Black church people advocating Christianity. They forget the slavery verses in the bible and the history of persecution of Black people by Christians persecution…all in “the name of Jesus.”

New King James Version 1st Peter 2:18. “Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh.”

An old style of Ocean’s Eleven. It didn't work. Powerfully stupid movie.

Treating women like sex objects. Good ol’ Hollywood.

Complete fail of diner scene with mountain.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

One of the worst movies of all time. This movie shouldn’t have made $1.00. The fact that it made over $75 million proves that God does NOT exist.

The Prince & Me, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: Jack Amiel, Michael Begler, Katherine Fugate

Director: Martha Coolidge

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Parents want to control a prince.

Story: Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Ah…the problems of rich White people. Cry me a river.

Fail of almost all scenes. Complete fail of writing.

Fail of all university scenes throughout.

Fail of cafe scenes.

Fail of music content.

Good family lunch scene.

Everything in this movie is predictable. Like it's from a Hollywood template.

Fail of all royal scenes throughout.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

I'm near to tears finishing up these reviews. Most of the movies are complete garbage. Christ.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Walking Tall, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Failure

Writer: David Klass, Channing Gibson, David Levien, Brian Koppelman

Director: Kevin Bray

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A corrupt casino owner wants to deal drugs.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of home scene.

Fail of dinner scene.

Fail of music content.

Decent football scene.

Good bar/stripper scene.

Fail of casino fight scene.

So if not for the dice, everything would be straight and worth dying for? Cheating is part of the American and Western-European way and has been for a long time. The best are smart enough not to get caught.

Fail of plot. Too stupid.

Fail of owner talk scene.

Fail of cop scenes throughout.

Fail of bar fight scene.

Fail of court scene.

Complete spiral downward of all scenes.

Fail of car pullover scene.

Decent drug bust scenes.

Fail of garage scene.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

4 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

White Chicks, 2004: FAIL

Potential Profit

Writer: Xavier Cook, Andy McElfresh, Michael Anthony Snowden, Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans

Director: Keenen Ivory Wayans

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: Someone wants to kidnap heiresses.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of store scene.

Fail of music content.

Fail of house talk scene.

Decent two daughters entrance. United Negro fund. Jokes.

Two daughter characters too unbelievable. No one can be that stupid and brainwashed. But then again, the daughters of the Seagram heir family Clare Bronfman and Sara Bronfman bankrolled a self-help sex cult branding guru.

Clare Bronfman Is Sentenced to 81 Months in Nxivm 'Sex Cult' Case

The Journey of the 'Sex Cult' Heiress: From Reluctant Recruit to Criminal Defendant Clare Bronfman

Fail of solution. Too stupid. Fail of all scenes after. Fail of writing.

Beyond suspension of disbelief.

Good bathroom scene.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of dressing scene.

Fail of thief scene.

Fail of auction scene.

Fail of beach scene.

Fail of date scenes throughout.

Good club scene. Ah…slutty liberal women in a club. Well done feminists.

Good FBI women scene.

Fail of FBI talk scene.

Fail of kidnapping plot, I almost forgot about it.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

6 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Without a Paddle, 2004: FAIL

Commercial Success

Writer: Jay Leggett, Mitch Rouse

Director: Steven Brill

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: 3 guys want to find treasure.

Story: Character, Relationships, Ambition

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of meeting scene.

Fail of parking spot scene.

Fail of funeral scene. Too stupid.

Another stupid funny movie from Hollywood. F*ck sakes.

Fail of treasure hunt plot.

Fail of all search scenes throughout.

Thankfully, there are no visible minorities in this movie. We wouldn't be that stupid. We leave that to stupid college educated White men.

Fail of bear scene.

Fail of marijuana group plot.

Fail of high scene.

Fail of eco tree women plot.

Good sleeping scene.

Fail of lonely tree hobo guy.

Fail of climax scene.

Fail of ending.

Jersey Girl, 2004: PASS

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Kevin Smith

Director: Kevin Smith

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A father wants to raise his daughter.

Story: Character, Family

Characters: Pass

Fail of Maya Harding character.

Acting: Pass

Excellent child acting by Raquel Castro.

Comments:

Good intro.

Ben Affleck and George Carlin. One kills movies, the other is dead.

Good house scenes throughout.

Good hospital scene.

Fail of office scene.

A father who can't change a diaper. Oh dear.

Good truck ride scene.

Fail of interview scene.

Excellent room scene and talk after.

Renting adult movies. There will be a generation who doesn't know what VHS porn is.

Fail of diner scene.

Offering herself so easily. Really? Ah…liberal women.

Good sex scene.

Excellent child scolding scene.

Excellent argument scene. Had to get it out.

Fail of Will Smith scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Audience was too harsh in their judgment of this movie. It’s a solid movie.

50 First Dates, 2004: PASS

Potential Profit

Writer: George Wing

Director: Peter Segal

Dialogue: Fail

Plot: A man wants to be with a woman.

Story: Relationships

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Lusia Strus.

Comments:

Excellent intro. But he's a vet doctor. Doesn't make sense.

Pounded me like a mallard duck. Jokes.

A secret agent. Oh dear.

Fail of surgery scene.

Excellent walrus vomit scene.

Good lunch meeting scene.

Excellent dinner scene.

Interesting plot, but unbelievable.

Good family scene.

Good date scenes throughout.

Excellent walrus scenes throughout.

Dan Aykroyd. Wow. What a blast from the past.

Excellent solution scenes throughout.

Excellent climax scene.

Excellent ending. Very well done.

Excellent writing and directing.

Solid movie.

The Alamo, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: John Lee Hancock, Leslie Bohem, Stephen Gaghan

Director: John Lee Hancock

Dialogue: Fail

All flat boring dialogue.

Plot: Mexican government wants to retake land.

Story: Ambition, Ethics

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters. Oh dear god it's terrible.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Dennis Quaid’s acting.

Comments:

Fail of battle scene intro.

Fail of almost every scene.

Fail of ballroom scene.

Fail of bar meeting scene.

I can barely keep my eyes open.

Fail of bar scenes throughout.

Period pieces like Westerns are normally a failure for a reason.

Slow flat paced movie.

In-fighting plot not strong enough.

Fail of climax battle scene.

Fail of ending.

$107 million production budget. Buena Vista Pictures has money to burn. Then again, with the acquisition of Marvel, Pixar, and Lucas Films, and 21st Century Fox, Disney is effectively the god of Hollywood and has a bottomless pit of money.

3 writers. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Raising Helen, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: Jack Amiel, Michael Begler

Director: Garry Marshall

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: An aunt wants to raise her nieces and nephew.

Story: Family, Character, Relationships

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters.

Acting: Fail

Fail of all acting overall.

Comments:

Fail of intro.

Fail of modeling agency scenes.

Decent house scene.

Fail of will scene.

Smoking in front of kids. Really?

Fail of all child rearing scenes.

Fail of church scene.

Fail of bathroom scene.

Fail of modeling scene.

I don't think the I saw one visible minority in this movie except the nanny. But then again, like Seinfeld and Friends and Sex in the City in the '90s, visible minorities don't really exist.

'That show was as white as it gets!' Sex and the City's problematic legacy lack of diversity casting

Good school scene.

Fail of home date scene.

Fail of building scene.

Fail of party scene.

Fail of interview scene.

Fail of lunch scene.

Weak character development.

Good fun scenes with kids.

Fail of car dealer scene.

Fail of hockey scene.

Fail of apart date scene.

Fail of gym scene.

Good motel scene.

Fail of all scenes after.

Fail of climax scene.

Decent ending.

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, 2004: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Adam Brooks, Richard Curtis, Andrew Davies, Helen Fielding

Director: Beeban Kidron

Dialogue: Pass

Plot: A woman wants a better life.

Story: Family

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Excellent acting by Hugh Grant.

Excellent acting by Renee Zellweger.

Comments:

Good intro.

Good skydiving scene.

Right into a pig pen. Jokes.

Excellent narration throughout.

Yah…but the greatest sex in the world doesn't keep a relationship together.

Good bar scene.

Good house scene.

And I thought I was in my head as a philosopher. This woman is nuts.

Ah…the things that soon-to-be wives face.

Excellent dressing room scene.

Decent ballroom scene.

Good night talk scene.

Good vacation scenes throughout.

Good car talk scene.

Excellent argument house scene.

Father in the dressing room. Jokes.

Good office board scene.

Good plane scene.

Decent beach scenes.

Good confinement scenes throughout.

Always funny to watch rich British men fight.

Very well done.

Good elevator scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Passed with 4 writers. Impressive.

The Whole Ten Yards, 2004: FAIL

Epic Commercial Failure

Writer: George Gallo

Director: Howard Deutch

Dialogue: Fail

Fail of all dialogue.

"A few moments of erectile dysfunction..and I am not a man now, is that it?" Excellent line and delivery.

Plot: A mob boss wants revenge.

Story: Relationships, Family

Characters: Fail

Fail of all characters. just terrible.

Fail of mob boss character.

Fail of idiot character.

Acting: Fail

Fail of Bruce Willis’ acting.

Comments:

Fail of mob intro.

Fail of house scene.

Fail of flashback scenes.

Fail of prison release scene.

Fail of dental scene.

Fail of restaurant scene.

Fail of living room scene.

Fail of all scenes. Fail of writing.

Fail of hostage scene.

Good chickens at shooting scene.

Fail of lunch scene.

Pregnant and were not even trying. Well done.

Fail of attack scene.

Fail of bus scene.

Fail of diner scene.

Licking a knife. Really?

"Oh thank god, the killers are here." Jokes.

Fail of bar scene.

"God is counting my seeds?" Jokes.

Complete garbage, even with star power.

Fail of waking up bed scene.

Fail of bathroom scene.

The keys are in the trunk with him. Jokes.

Fail of dental assistant revenge scene. Doesn't make sense.

"I'll take that chloroform now." Jokes.

Unfortunately, these small bits of jokes are not enough to pass.

Decent climax scene.

Good ending.

Garfield, 2004: PASS

Commercial Success

Writer: Joel Cohen, Alec Sokolow

Director: Peter Hewitt

Dialogue: Pass

"Can you please ask her out so she can reject you and we can get on with my life." Good line and delivery.

Plot: A dog entertainer wants a new dog.

Story: Character

Characters: Pass

Acting: Pass

Comments:

Good intro.

Jennifer Love Hewitt. Wow. What a blast from the past.

Good dog yard scene.

Oh dear, that dog is too ugly.

Good dog cat scenes throughout.

Decent dog show scene.

Use an RFID for dogs.

Good alley scene.

Can't live without your cat. You need to get out more.

Excellent cat ventilation scene.

Good cage scene.

Good climax scene.

Good ending.

Continued in Part 2